Chapter 5 #2
I licked my lips. “Sorry for spoiling the game, but I’m not most people.”
“No, I guess not.” He tilted his head in a way that was still rather wolflike. “You were watching me.”
“I was watching the wolf.”
“You weren’t supposed to see what you saw.” There was anger there, below the surface, a great deal of it. But Kage’s anger was nothing like Viktor’s. It was tightly controlled, and it wasn’t directed at me. If anything, I thought he was angry at himself.
“You weren’t supposed to exist,” I pointed out.
“And you picked a stupid place for your little run.” I glanced behind me, but for the first time noticed no windows were on the side of this side of the tower.
He must have been used to coming here. He’d taken a risk, but this was the first time he’d paid the price.
“Well.” Kage gave a dry shrug. “Shit happens, I guess.”
He was playing it cool. But I knew the truth. “You should kill me,” I said bluntly. “That would be the smartest move. You have no choice.”
He studied me for a long moment—too long.
“You’re right, I suppose,” he murmured. “It would be the simplest solution.”
“The cleanest,” I agreed. “We’ve had students go missing before.
I won’t be the first or the last.” Of course, those had been blight-born.
Also, I wasn’t a student anymore. I was a highblood girl, not to mention Viktor’s consort.
But I had no doubt Kage could dispose of my body in a way that led suspicion away from him.
Throw me in the sea, make it look like an accident.
I still could have run. Could have planned how to fight.
Kage shook his head slowly. “I don’t think so.
” I could feel my face fall. It would have been a swift ending.
Probably far kinder than the one we’d given that blightborn woman that morning.
I should have run then, as fast as my feet would carry me, straight back to the castle door.
Back to Viktor to tell him the Avari’s little secret—but I didn’t.
I kept standing there, out in the snow with the fucking Avari House Leader, of all people. Pendragon’s House Leader.
If Viktor knew …
Maybe that was why I stayed. Wedged my feet firmly into the snow and didn’t bother turning and trying to make a run for it. A tiny little rebellion.
Kage could have changed his mind at any moment, but he just watched me.
The way I’d watched the wolf. He looked different.
I couldn’t get past it. Not just because of what I’d seen him do—though, Bloodmaiden, that should have been enough.
He radiated a calm confidence. He stood like a man who knew who he was and had no doubts.
This, this was the sort of man who should have been my consort. The sort of man who was everything Viktor wasn’t. The kind of man who didn’t need to use cruelty to get what he wanted, because he was enough without it. Not like most of the highbloods I knew—myself included.
The wind tore past, sending snow flying around us, but I barely felt it anymore.
Bloodmaiden, what was happening to me? I was the headmistress.
I was Viktor Drakharrow’s consort. I had been claimed by the most powerful highblood in the land.
Yet here I stood, trembling in the cold.
Making small talk with the enemy. I looked out at the sea.
I was the fool standing on the cliff’s edge.
And Kage clearly wasn’t going to do me the favor of pushing me off.
“Why are you really out here, Regan?” he asked abruptly. No titles. No formalities. No bullshit.
Maybe I should have chided him, demanded the proper respect. Instead, I took a deep breath, my eyes still on the dark sea. “I needed some air.” I glanced at him. “So are you going to do it?”
“Kill you?” He shook his head. “It’s not my style. Sorry to disappoint you.”
I wanted to turn away. When he looked at me, it was as if he saw everything. The thoughts I most wanted to hide. My desperation. He was the one who should have been feeling desperate, not me. Yet here I was, feeling trapped and naked.
“Besides, I know the difference,” he murmured, never taking his eyes from mine.
“Difference?”
“Between a monster and the one wearing its chains.”
I stared at him. I should have been offended. I should have been cold with rage. I should have demanded he follow me to the Black Keep right then and there, brought him straight before Viktor, and then …
I looked away. I was a fool, yes. I knew I wasn’t going to do any of those things.
Kage stood there looking at me, and I knew what he must see. To him, I was Viktor’s pet, a wretched highblood girl playing a nasty game of power. Or maybe he saw a pawn traded between men. Just another jewel in the dark crown of Sangratha. A woman as shallow and hollow as a gemstone, too.
“Why didn’t you scream?”
I let out a breath and watched it mist into a cloud. “I’m tired of screaming.”
Kage tilted his head. “Rough day?”
“Not at all,” I said, trying to strike a bored tone. “Why would you say that?”
He shrugged. “You’re standing alone on a cliff in the snow, talking to a man who was a wolf not just five minutes ago.
You didn’t run, even though you thought I was going to kill you.
” He tilted his head. “And that blightborn woman on the balcony this morning. You might have fooled the rest of them, but …”
I stared at him. “That obvious?” I finally choked.
“Yeah, a little obvious.”
I stood there, feeling like an idiot. “Guess I’m not the only one too weak to kill,” I said coldly.
“I kill when there’s a need, not simply to impress a crowd. In House Avari, cruelty isn’t considered a sign of strength.” Without warning, Kage moved towards me, his hand flicking back the collar of my dress. The silk slid aside at his touch, and I let out a gasp.
“Easy.” His voice was cool and authoritative. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
I froze, not bothering to glance down, already knowing what he’d seen: the dark bruises blooming over my breasts like cruel roses.
“Viktor do that to you?” His face was very still.
I didn’t answer. I knew he didn’t really expect me to. I gave myself a mental shake. I couldn’t stay out here all night, no matter how much I might want to. “What happens now?”
“You’re not going to tell anyone what you’ve seen here tonight. We’ll take it from there.” He wasn’t using thrallweave, and he wasn’t asking a question. He was stating a truth we both knew.
I felt unsettled. There he was, cool and steady, while I held his greatest secret in the palm of my hand. I could destroy Kage and possibly his entire house with what I knew.
“No,” I agreed slowly. “I’m not.”
He nodded. “You’ll make the vow?”
Silently, I held out my hand. He drew out a silver dagger and sliced his palm. Then gently, ever so gently, he lifted mine and did the same.
As the blood flowed, he placed his palm against mine and pressed lightly, the briefest of touches. I felt a sudden jolt, like fire, racing straight from his veins to mine.
I snatched my hand back. “What was that?”
Kage gave me a strange look but didn’t respond.
I’d never made a Vow before; for all I knew this was normal.
I looked at my palm, watching the blood well.
Highbloods healed fast. This was nothing compared to what I could endure.
The mark would be gone by the time I returned to the Keep.
Viktor would never see it. He never had to know.
“Now what?” The blaze in my palm was already fading.
The Avari was turning to go. Now he stopped, eyebrows rising. “Isn’t that up to you?” He paused. “But do me a favor.”
“What’s that?”
“Stop looking out to sea like it holds the answers you need. It doesn’t.”
I stared after Kage as he moved towards the tower door. Like a fool, I almost called after him. Then he was gone.
I stood in the snow, in the dark, a while longer, trying to figure out why the fuck I’d just made an unbreakable Blood Vow with a wolf.