Chapter 17 #2
“He’s in my head a lot, Medra,” I confided.
“He just pops in and out, whenever he wants to. At first I ignored him, but now … Well, I guess I’m starting to get used to it.
Was it like that for you? I can sense him.
Sometimes, I can see what he sees. Smell what he smells.
” I grimaced. “I’ve tasted raw fish.” I didn’t tell her the taste was starting to grow on me.
Or that the crunching of bones could be oddly satisfying.
Medra’s eyes had widened. “No, it wasn’t like that for me. I could hear him, of course. When he wanted to be heard, but we weren’t always connected. Today, in Regan’s office, he found you. How? Had you told him where we were?”
I shook my head. “No. I haven’t quite figured out how to, well, juggle what’s happening around me while speaking to him. He was asking me things, but I hadn’t responded. I was too distracted.” And frightened, I added silently. “I was as surprised as you when he appeared.”
“Well, it’s a good thing he did. He saved both our skins.”
“For now,” I said softly. “But Viktor …”
Medra bared her teeth. “That old highblood bastard will be back, I’m sure.
But you have a dragon to protect you now.
You’ll be all right.” She glanced away. “Look, there are snacks, if you want them. A plate of muffins. My halfeaten sandwich.” She grinned when I wrinkled my nose.
“I made tea. It’s cold now, but you’re welcome to it. ”
There was something wrong, something she wasn’t telling me. But it could wait. I wanted to enjoy this—being back in our room, together, just talking.
“Medra, there’s something I need to say,” I burst out.
“You saved my life. Again.” There. It was out.
It was done. Better late than never. “I didn’t even thank you.
In fact, I did the opposite—I ran. I’ve treated you so badly.
I’ve been an awful friend. Really, I have. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?”
She half smiled. “It’s fine, Florence, really. I know what we did to save you was … extreme. And we couldn’t exactly ask your permission first.” She’d gotten right to the heart of the matter.
Medra hesitated. “Does your mother understand what happened?”
I nodded. “Most of it. She knows I’m connected to Nyxaris now. Not exactly how much or how closely, though.”
“It must be frightening,” Medra murmured. “So many changes.”
“I’ve been frightened, yes,” I agreed. “That’s why I hid. Not just from you, but from him. I’m a coward.”
You are not a coward.
I froze. You called me one yourself.
That was … before, Nyxaris said magnanimously.
I furrowed my brow. Are you saying you were wrong?
The answer came instantly. Dragons are never wrong.
Medra looked at me curiously, but she stayed silent.
I’m trying to have a private conversation, I reminded him.
And I am trying to reassure my rider that their bravery is no longer in question. He was quiet for a moment, but I knew he was still there. You are not the same as she is. You are different.
There was a lump in my throat. Bad different? I’m sorry. I know I’m a disappointment.
Not a disappointment, he rebuffed me. You are a very clever girl, a scholar with a brilliant mind. When one lives their entire life expecting to be a scribe, it is understandably difficult to adapt to becoming a rider. You rode well today, as I said. A brief pause. Better than I expected you to.
Is that … a compliment? I said in surprise.
It is not a compliment if you must ask if it is a compliment, he grumbled. Take it or leave it, fledgling.
I smiled at Medra. She smiled back. She was waiting patiently. Obviously, she’d figured out what was going on.
You did not scream, Nyxaris added, apparently still considering all that might have gone wrong. Or faint. Or toss the contents of your belly onto my back.
I bit my lip, trying to hold back laughter.
Which is more than I can say for some of your kind the first time they ride a dragon, he continued.
I’m not sure that not vomiting sets the bar very high, I pointed out.
You held steady, he went on, ignoring me. You are used to excelling, to receiving the best marks. To earning your teachers’ praise.
I sensed him watching me. The strange mental weight of his attention pressing against my skin. My cheeks warmed selfconsciously. Yes, I suppose that’s true.
You will have to earn your admiration from me, he chided, almost teasingly.
I’ll work hard to do so then, Professor Nyxaris, I teased back.
What was this? Was I really bantering with a dragon?
You’re my rider. Not simply because your life was spared thanks to me.
No one could ever accuse Nyxaris of having low selfesteem; he was rather full of himself, and yet it wasn’t intolerable. If anyone had earned the right to an ego, it was a dragon.
You remind me of someone I lost. The words were said almost reluctantly.
I blinked hard. Who?
No one you need worry about, he said gruffly. She is long dead. You are not her.
There was a pain in my chest. Do you … wish I were?
No, Nyxaris snapped, his voice like a breaking stone. No. I do not. He hesitated, then spoke again. You are different. Calmer, quieter. But there is fire in you.
My breath caught. Was this a compliment? It felt like one.
Do not let anyone put that flame out. Let it blaze within your heart. And then he was gone.
Medra touched my shoulder lightly. “Are you back?”
I nodded. “I’m back.”
“What was that?” she breathed. “Was he talking to you?”
“Yes. Apparently, he couldn’t stay away.” I should have been annoyed that he’d interrupted yet again, but oddly I wasn’t.
“You look … happy,” Medra ventured. “Does talking to him feel right?”
I looked at her. “It didn’t at first. But it does now. Is that strange?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I’ve never been bonded to a dragon. Our connection was different than this. Remember at the beginning? Nyxaris would only talk to me because he hoped I’d be able to get him information.”
There was a knock at the door. We looked at each other.
“I wasn’t expecting Blake,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean he hasn’t decided to just show up.”
“He can come into the Avari Tower?”
“Well, no, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t sneak in anyways. He usually waits until it’s night, though.”
I stared at Medra. Of course she’d had company while I was away. She must have been lonely. Now here I was, disrupting her new routine. “I can leave,” I offered. “I can go to the library, start working on my next essay for—”
“No,” she interrupted. “Absolutely not. Not another essay. You probably have five on the go already.”
I blushed. She wasn’t far off. “Six, actually.”
She laughed. “I’ll tell him to go away.” She smiled mischievously. “It’ll be fun to say no. He needs to hear it now and then.”
I smiled as she hopped off the bed. But when she pulled the door open, it wasn’t Blake standing there after all, but Kage.
“House Leader,” Medra quipped. “To what do we owe this great honor?”
He looked right past Medra and directly at me. “I’m afraid that I need Miss Shen to accompany me.” His voice was strained.
“What? Why? Not back to Regan’s fucking office again!” Medra exclaimed hotly. She crossed her arms over her chest. “We’re not going back there. Florence is not going back there. Unless everyone wants another taste of dragon fire.”
She is very protective of you. Nyxaris was back.
She is, I agreed, feeling happy. She’s a very good friend.
Of course she is. She gave you me, Nyxaris said with shameless self-centeredness. In any case, I’ve been expecting this. Don’t overreact.
Overreact? What do you mean, “Don’t overreact”? I hissed back. I like to be prepared for everything. You know that! Tell me, Nyxaris.
But he was gone again.
“No, not back to the headmistress’s office,” Kage responded. “My grandmother is waiting. She’d like to speak with us.”
I looked at Medra. Kage had said us. What did that mean?
My friend was frowning. “Us?”
“With Florence and me,” Kage said stiffly. “Florence, will you please accompany me back to my room? She’s waiting there.”
I got to my feet slowly. “Of course.”
Medra glared at Kage. “She’d better be back here in an hour or I’ll be banging at your door. In one piece, do you hear? And not crying.” She glanced at me. “Will you be all right? Do you need me to go with you?”
I shook my head. “I’ll be all right. But thank you. I’ll see you back here soon.”
I followed Kage into the hallway. He led the way up the next flight of stairs, down a narrow hall. Finally, we stopped in front of a door etched in silver.
“What’s this really about?” I whispered to him.
But he just shook his head and flung open the door. “Grandmother, may I present to you Miss Shen.” He gestured for me to step into the room. “Miss Shen, may I present my grandmother, Lady Elaria Avari.”
Lady Avari stood on the far side of the room, near a white marble hearth.
With the firelight flickering against silver hair pinned up with diamonds, she looked like a portrait of highblood royalty come to life.
Slowly, she turned to face us. She was dressed in a long black velvet dress with a silver jacket overtop.
The motto of House Avari, Luna Sanguinea Surgit, was stitched across her left breast. A silver crescent moon pendant hung from a pearl choker at her throat.
Her eyes were dark like her grandson’s. They found mine instantly—sharp, assessing.
Not unkind exactly, but not completely warm either.
“Miss Shen.” She came across the room and stopped halfway near a cluster of comfortable-looking armchairs and sofas.
“It’s so good to finally meet you. My grandson has told me how eager he was to make sure you were recruited into his house.
I understand you’re something of an academic prodigy.
” She sat down in an armchair and gestured for me to come take a seat.