Chapter 17 #4
She narrowed her eyes. “What happened?” She ushered me inside. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I dropped onto the nearest object, which happened to be her bed, unable to answer right away.
“Florence?”
“There’s good news and bad news,” I said finally.
“Oh goody,” Medra muttered. “Go on.”
“The good news is—” I tried to make my voice bright and plastered a smile on my face “—there’s going to be another ball!”
Medra blinked suspiciously. “A ball? That’s the good news? Have you forgotten what happened after the last one?”
“Oh. Right.”
“And the bad news?”
I hesitated. “Well, the Avaris made a proposal.” I snuck a glance at her face. So far, so good.
“All right,” she said cautiously. “What kind of proposal?”
“I mean, it was Kage who made the proposal. Well, I mean his grandmother did the actual proposing, but it doesn’t really involve her.”
“It doesn’t?”
“I mean, it does,” I said hastily. “But not directly. That would be really weird. Can you imagine?”
“No, Florence,” Medra replied. “I can’t. Because you’re dancing around what really happened. Just tell me.”
I took a deep breath and said the words as quickly as possible. “I’mbetrothedtoKage.”
“You’re what?” Medra looked exasperated. “Say it again more slowly, less mumbly.”
I bit my lip, hesitating. “I’m betrothed. To Kage.”
There was a stunned silence. Medra sat down slowly on my bed, across from where I stood.
“You move back in here. You’re here for less than an hour.
I let you go off with Kage to meet his grandmother.
And now you’re … betrothed?” She put her head in her hands and moaned.
“Florence, your mother is going to kill you. Or me. Or both of us.”
“Is she?” I tilted my head. “Maybe she’ll just be happy I can’t be soul-bound.”
Medra’s head jerked up. “What?”
“When were you going to tell me?” I asked quietly. “You already knew, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. You’ve been so afraid, I didn’t want to scare you more. Especially when you’d finally come back.”
I nodded. “That makes sense.”
“But I was going to tell you, probably as soon as tomorrow. I had to. Especially after Hassan told Regan and Viktor. He knows now.”
“Lady Avari might be a match for Viktor,” I said thoughtfully.
“Maybe. She’s certainly an imposing woman. She impressed me during the Tribunal.” Medra sighed.“How do you really feel about this?”
I chewed my bottom lip. “Nyxaris says it won’t be forever. He has a plan.”
Medra raised one dark red brow. “Oh really?”
“Yes, but he won’t share it. He’ll only say that Viktor’s more complicated than he looks.”
“Not precisely encouraging,” Medra said dryly.
When the time comes, I will unmake him. Piece by piece, Nyxaris growled.
I shifted on the bed. “Nyxaris says he’ll destroy Viktor. Eventually.”
“Eventually,” Medra echoed. “And in the meantime we’re just going to have another ball and pretend everything’s fine while you’re what—fake engaged to Kage fucking Tanaka?”
“Pretend, yes. Engaged, also yes.”
“Do you … feel anything for him? Is it possible this could just … work out somehow?”
In my mind, Nyxaris had gone very silent—and yet, I knew he was still there, waiting for my answer.
“He’s … very handsome. He’s always been kind to me.
He’s noble. Wealthy. Powerful,” I listed obediently.
“But those things have never been important to me before. I don’t even know if he reads books. ”
Medra snickered. “I’m sure he knows how to read.”
“But does he read as homework, for pleasure, or because he craves knowledge?” I threw up my hands.
“I don’t really know him at all, do I? So do I feel something?
No, I don’t think I feel anything. I don’t think Kage feels anything for me either.
I don’t think he wants this, he’s just … doing his duty.”
“This is not what I want for you,” Medra said softly. “Someone who will just do their duty. You deserve so much more than that.” She lay back on the bed. “I can’t fucking believe this is happening again. Another betrothal to another highblood—one neither of us wants.”
“Well, things turned out all right for you and Blake,” I pointed out.
She sat up. “Is that what we are, all right?” She shook her head. “We’re a dangerous mix together, Florence. Tinder and sparks. He still scares me. But you’re right, at least when I’m with him, I feel something. Something so intense, it’s—well, terrifying sometimes.”
“I’m not sure I want that,” I said thoughtfully. “To feel that terrifying feeling. It sounds awful.”
Medra giggled. “It’s not all bad. I promise.”
“Still, maybe I don’t want to ever fall in love. It’s so scary. I’m already bonded to a dragon. Can’t that be enough?”
Medra smiled sadly. “Maybe it’ll have to be. For now.” She looked at me thoughtfully. “Or maybe things will change. Kage isn’t so bad.”
“I knew you’d say that eventually,” I said, laughing.
“He’s not hard to look at, all right? I won’t deny that.
He certainly has charisma, though he can be infuriating, too.
Not as infuriating as Blake, though,” she said, tilting her head in consideration.
“Maybe you could come to have feelings for him. At least you don’t hate his guts and want him dead, right? ”
I suddenly wondered which was the better foundation for a relationship: a total absence of affection or emotion of any sort, like what was currently between Kage and me, or the tempestuous hatred that Medra and Blake immediately possessed for one another when they first met.
“Try to dream about him tonight,” Medra suggested, only half teasing. “Maybe it won’t be so bad.” She winked.
I curled up in my bed after Medra had put out the lamps.
We’d talked until late into the night; now I needed to fall asleep.
I had to get at least a few hours of rest or I’d be a mess in the morning.
I’d missed a lot of my classes, but my professors had been surprisingly understanding.
It helped that I’d continued turning in all of my assignments, and some extracredit ones besides.
Tomorrow would be my first full day back, attending all of my regular classes.
Neville was already snoring. He lay at the foot of my bed, his little paws twitching as if he was chasing something in his dreams. Probably a rabbit.
Try to dream about Kage, Medra had said.
I closed my eyes and tried to picture my House Leader.
But when I drifted off to sleep, Kage never showed up.
Instead, the dream crept in like fog across glass.
Warmth spread over my body, heat coiling and spreading beneath my skin.
My breath caught. I was dreaming. But it was so vivid.
So real. My body arched, hips pressing into the phantom weight above me.
Hands—broad, clawed, impossibly strong—gripped my thighs, spreading them open.
Not hurting, but unmistakably possessive. And the heat. There was so much heat.
I twisted, sweat beading along my collarbone. I was naked. I could see the rise and fall of my breasts.
A low voice wrapped around my ribs, hard as stones but far more intimate. Open your heart to me, rider. Show me that heart of fire.
I gasped. My dreamself whispered a name. Nyxaris—
This is a dream, another part of me said reassuringly. Just a dream.
Of course it is, he murmured, hands sliding up to grasp my hips as he ground against me. I would never touch you like this when you were awake.
My eyes flew open. My pulse thundered. The room was dark.
Moonlight spilled like milk across the carpeted floor.
Neville was still snoring. Medra was in her bed, a peaceful lump beneath the blankets.
And I … I was burning. My skin was flushed, covered in a sheen of sweat, my legs tangled up in the sheets.
I’d clenched my thighs so tightly I was cramping.
I lay still, trying to calm my breathing.
It was just a dream. Just a dream.
I had ridden a dragon for the first time the day before. Maybe this was some weird side effect that Medra had forgotten to tell me about.
Except … except I could still feel him on top of me.
I squeezed my eyes shut, desperate to fall asleep again. This time determined not to dream.
Then, maddeningly …
Interesting.
I froze. You’d better not be awake right now. Go away.
I did not do anything came his smug, infuriating reply. Did I?
I groaned aloud and rolled onto my stomach, hiding my face in my pillow. Please tell me you can’t see my dreams.
I cannot see your dreams.
I popped my head up, sucking in breath. Wait. Are you saying that because I told you to or because it’s the truth?
Which would you like it to be?
Nyxaris, I hissed.
Was I in your dream? Is that why you are acting so bizarrely?
I’m not answering that, I said hotly, my face flushing with shame.
The bond is a twoway corridor. I have had to suffer through your mortal cravings before. I am sure it will not be the last time.
Cravings? My face felt hot enough to melt a candle. Before? Oh, Bloodmaiden.
Of course. The strawberry scones. The time you cried over that painting of the bird with a broken wing.
That was sad, you monster. And it was a masterpiece.
Nyxaris ignored me. The way you looked at your new betrothed this evening …
I did not look at Kage any which way, I protested. I was assessing him, that’s all. Besides, I thought you wanted me to do this. To be safe.
A pause. I do wish that.
Then, what’s the problem? I grumbled. Or are you jealous?
There was no reply.
Nyxaris?
He’d probably gone to sleep. Or was chasing down sheep. Poor, pitiful sheep. They had no hope in hell of escaping that dragon—and neither did I.
I turned over again, lying on my back. But all I could think of was the way it had felt. To be desired like that. In the dark, every inch of my body betrayed my rational mind, my hand moving slowly between my thighs, and my eyes closed tightly.
Bloodmaiden … I was in so much trouble.