19. You Know You Can Talk To Me About Anything, Right?
JAKE
19
It’s Thursday night, and I’m meeting Dad for dinner at the pub in town. Although we work together, we haven’t been on the same sites this week, and he insisted we have dinner tonight.
“It's just us guys tonight. Donna has her book club meeting,” he said earlier today, which meant my stepmum wouldn’t be home to cook him dinner.
My culinary skills came from Mum. Dad struggles to boil water unsupervised.
I pull up outside the pub and glance at my phone. For someone who barely used his phone a month ago, I've been checking it a lot — always looking for messages from a certain blonde housemate.
A knock on my window makes me jump, and Dad shakes his head when he looks at my phone.
“Are you coming inside, or are you messaging that girl?”
I detect a little annoyance in his tone.
“What girl?” I ask, climbing out of the car.
“The one you keep racing back to Brisbane to see,” he replies, his voice gruff while he leads the way inside.
“I’m not going back for a girl.”
He shoots me a frustrated look over his shoulder while I follow him into the restaurant area. “I wasn’t born yesterday, boy.”
I sigh. He has done this every time I’ve dated someone from Brisbane.
“I’m not dating anyone in Brisbane, Dad.”
“Good. What about Stacey? I saw you around with her a few times.”
“Since when have you asked about my relationship status?” I ask, scanning the QR code on the table to bring up the menu.
“Since I want your focus here in town instead of running back to Brisbane.” Dad has never been one to beat around the bush, but I could have done without his direct line of conversation right now.
“I’m here, aren’t I? I’m around the weekends when I’m on call, so what does it matter if I go back to Brisbane the rest of my weekends?” If I’d known dinner would come with a side of guilt trip, I’d have found a reason to stay home.
“I just wish you’d realise your life is here now.”
I feel an unexpected wave of aggravation and bite back the retort on the tip of my tongue.
Not wanting to get into an argument with him, I shrug. “Can we just have dinner without you giving me a hard time, please?”
He looks at me for a moment before nodding. “How did things go out at number 53?” he asks, and for once, I’m relieved to be talking about work.
“Good, it’s ready to go,” I reply, and we continue chatting about work until our meals arrive.
After dinner, my father wanders off to the pokies, and I grab a beer in the sports bar, staring at my phone once again.
“Hey, stranger.” I look up and see Stacey standing beside me.
“Hey, how’s it going?” I ask, putting my phone on the table.
“Yeah, good… Haven’t seen you around much.” She takes a seat across from me.
“Yeah, I’ve been heading back to Brisbane most weekends, and work has really picked up,” I say, shifting in my seat a little.
I have no idea why, but I feel like I need to make an excuse for why I haven’t been around, even though we’d only ever been casually seeing each other.
My phone lights up on the table, and I can see the message I’ve been waiting for all evening has finally come through. Stacey’s eyes drift to the phone before she looks back at my face.
“Little B, huh?”
I clear my throat and move to put my phone in my pocket. “Yeah. She’s a friend. She lives in the apartment that I won.”
She pushes a strand of her long brown hair behind her ear and fixes me with a look. “Right, just a friend. From what I’ve heard, you’re back in Brisbane every chance you can get. You’ve only ever done that in the past when there was a girl involved.”
I roll my eyes. “Christ, first Dad, now you. The rumour mill in this place is fucking ridiculous. I’m not seeing anyone back there, but I enjoy catching up with my friends. I grew up there. I don’t know why everyone is making such a big deal about this.”
Stacey holds her hands up in the air. “Calm down. I guess the friends you have here just feel like you’ve disappeared. You used to hang out with all of us on the weekends, but lately, none of us have heard anything from you.”
I let out a long breath. “I’m sorry, okay. And I’m sorry I didn’t get in touch with you. That was shitty. I’m guessing that’s what this is really about?” I raise an eyebrow.
She shrugs and pushes her hair back again. “It is what it is. We didn’t make any promises to each other. I just hadn’t realised it was quite that casual for you,” she says.
“I’m sorry, Stace,” I say again, because at this point, what else can I say?
I’d never wanted to be that person, and yet it looks like, to Stacey at least, I’m just another guy who doesn’t give a shit.
“It’s fine, Jake. I could tell you weren’t after anything long-term. I hadn’t let myself fall too hard, even if you are stupid hot. It’s just hard to find guys around here that haven’t known me forever,” she says with a small smile.
Even though she’s playing it cool, I can tell I’ve hurt her, and I feel like the biggest asshole.
“Just… Don’t be a stranger, okay?” She gets out of her chair and squeezes my shoulder before heading back to join her friends, who are gathered near the door to the pokies. A few of them glare at me, and I stare at my beer.
Note to self - next time Dad wants to do dinner, cook something at home for him.
On Friday, I don’t bother going home after work. I’ve started leaving stuff at the apartment so that I don’t need to carry an overnight bag anymore, and when I clock off at 2 pm, I head straight out of town and drive to Brisbane.
This has been the week from hell. A heatwave started on Tuesday, and I have been sweating bucketloads each day while working on the houses. After last night’s conversations, I’d seriously considered just getting in my ute and driving to Brisbane then and there.
I open the door to the apartment and instantly feel my shoulders drop. This place feels more like home than any other place I’ve lived. Or maybe it was simply the presence of the woman who lives here.
I arrive home before Bri, and Maddie dances happily around my feet while I open the terrace door. She races to the small garden Bri set up for her to do her business. I should probably look at installing a doggy door for her.
I head into the shower, needing to wash away the memory of this shitty week along with the sweat.
When I emerge a little later, pulling a shirt over my head, I find Bri walking through the door.
“Hey! You’re here early,” she says, putting her work bag down.
Even though she’s been at work all day, she looks stunning as usual, and I don’t say a word as I walk towards her and wrap my arms around her waist.
“Are you okay?” she asks, hugging me back while I bury my face in her neck.
“I am now,” I say after a moment, stepping back. “It’s been a really shit week, and when I saw you, I just realised I needed a hug.”
She looks up at me, her eyes scanning my face. Christ, she’s beautiful. How had I ever managed to forget how beautiful she was?
“What happened?”
“Just work stuff… and Dad was giving me a hard time about how much I’ve been coming back since I won this place. So add in the extra guilt, and it ended up being a crappy week.” I shrug.
Her eyes narrow. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” I ask.
“Pretend that it’s not that big of a deal. I know it must have been crappy for you to hug me like that.” She fixes me with one of her intense looks that make me feel like she can see every part of me.
“Maybe it’s just because you’re such a good hugger?” I try giving her a cheeky grin, but she’s having none of it.
“Why was your Dad giving you a hard time about coming back?”
Right, so she is going to skip past the work stuff and go straight to the Dad stuff.
I let my arms drop from her waist and step back a little. “He just gets like this every time I start coming back to Brisbane more. He’s worried that I’m going to end up leaving Stanthorpe and come back here.”
She’s quiet for a moment as she continues to survey me, and I shift uneasily.
“Are you happy out there?” she asks eventually, and I laugh.
“I don’t really have a choice, so it is what it is,” I say, and I can’t help the bitterness that seeps into my tone.
“Why?”
“Why what?” I know exactly what she’s asking, but I play dumb, and she knows it.
“Why don’t you have a choice?”
Maddie comes racing in and starts jumping up at Bri, demanding attention.
“Ack, down,” she commands, her voice changing to an authoritative tone.
I’m grateful for the distraction.
Maddie sits, her tail wagging while her little body shakes with excitement, and Bri laughs, bending to pet her.
“Hello, baby girl. Did you miss me?”
Maddie barks, and I swear it’s like the little dog is saying ‘yes’.
Bri moves to get her a treat, and I let out a breath, grateful that the attention is off me. I’m not ready to unload years of guilt and trauma; I just want to hang out with her.
I head to the couch and watch while she moves around the kitchen.
“Drink?” she asks, holding up a bottle of wine.
“I’ve got beer in the fridge,” I say, and she nods, pouring herself a glass and grabbing me a beer before she joins me on the couch.
“Enough about my shit, how was your week?” I ask before she can pick up where she left off.
She sips her wine and looks at me over the rim of her glass. Then, setting the glass down on the coffee table, she keeps her eyes focused on me.
“You’re not going to elaborate, are you?” she asks, raising one eyebrow.
“I don’t really want to go into the specifics of it all,” I reply, shrugging.
She’s quiet for another moment, and I take a mouthful of beer.
“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
I nod. “Yeah, I know. But you’ve got a lot of your own stuff going on, and honestly, talking about my stuff isn’t going to change anything, so there’s no point in bringing it up.”
“I would hope that you’d know me well enough by now to know that I’m capable of being there for my friends, regardless of what’s happened in my own life,” she says, squeezing my hand.
I tug her closer, tucking her into my side and putting my arm around her.
“It’s fine, Little B,” I say, kissing her temple.
She relaxes into my side. “Fine, I’ll let it go for now ’cause I can tell you really don’t want to talk about it. But one day, JJ, you will be telling me.”
She rests her head on my shoulder. “My week was okay. Work isn’t great, but I got out and took a few more photos yesterday afternoon, so at least I have something fun to do. And I had dinner with my family on Wednesday night.”
“Oh yeah, how’d that go?” I twirl a strand of her hair around my finger.
She shrugs. “Fine. Morgan mostly talked about the wedding, and we all just let her. It was nice not to have the focus on what I’m up to for a change.”
“So none of them gave you a hard time about me?” I ask, suddenly on edge, although I’m unsure why.
“No, which was great. I wasn’t in the mood to have the same conversation with them again.”
“What do you tell them?” I have no idea why I’m asking this, and she shifts to look up at me.
“That we’re friends.”
“Is that all?”
Her eyes widen and she surveys me for a moment. “What… what else should I say?” Her voice has lowered a little, and I can feel the tension running through her while I continue twirling her hair around my finger.
“I don’t know… I guess friends is right…” I clear my throat and move my arm.
Why the hell did I push the conversation in this direction? Clearly, this week has fucked with my mind more than I’d realised.
“What should we do for dinner? It’s just us tonight, right?” I get to my feet, pretending not to notice her confused expression, while I go to grab my phone.
“Um… yeah, it’s just us. The others are coming around tomorrow evening.”
“Okay, cool. How’s Thai sound?” I ask, opening up the delivery app.
She’s quiet for a while, and I look over to see her staring at me.
“You okay?”
She nods. “Yeah… Thai’s fine. I’m going to get changed and read for a bit. Let me know when it’s here.” She gets up and heads into her room.
I shake my head while I order, cursing myself for making things weird between us.