Chapter 4
“ H ow’s the roast?”
“It’s great, thanks.”
“Not too dry?” Lainey bit the inside of her cheek and waited for her dinner guest to answer.
“It’s perfect, thank you. You’re the only one outside the station who ever cooks for me, squirt.” Ian tossed her a little wink, one that made her heart plummet, and resumed eating his meal.
If he had to give her a nickname, why did it have to be squirt? A forever reminder that she would be nothing to him but his best friend’s unlovable little sister. “We have to take care of each other now, we who’ve been abandoned,” she reasoned, hoping she sounded casual and not lovesick like she feared.
“True story, girl,” he said, holding up his hand for a high five. “How is your loser brother, anyway?”
“You probably talk to him more than I do,” she mumbled. Her brother wasn’t the gooey affectionate sort, wasn’t one for keeping in contact. She’d gotten much more warmth from Ian over the years than she ever had from Murphy, her own flesh and blood. Could that be why she loved him so? She grimaced. What she felt for Ian was not misplaced brotherly affection, that was for certain. It was something far worse—unrequited adoration.
“I ask you, Lainey girl, what does Florida have that we don’t?” he demanded.
“Alligators, for one,” she replied.
He shuddered. “Right. Gross. Are you going to taste them next time you go down?”
“I have no idea when I’ll ever go down,” Lainey replied. Her business was so new, her finances so tight, it would be too big a stretch to fly or even drive all the way to Florida. A spasm of fear gripped her chest but she pushed it away by focusing on Ian. He had been part of her life so long she couldn’t remember not loving him, her older brother’s best friend with a larger than life charisma. Even when Murphy had found her presence intolerable, Ian had welcomed her with a sweet affection, never impatient or rude. Was it any wonder she adored him? And then, after high school, he went on to complete his perfection by becoming a firefighter.
Lainey had never revealed her crush, obviously, but he had to know it was there. He wasn’t blind or stupid. The thing she could never quite discern was if he played on it. And, if he did, did they ever have a chance at a future?
“What’s up with you? I feel like we’ve been out of touch lately,” she said. “I don’t think I’ve seen you since Murphy moved.” She’d made herself wait a reasonable amount of time before calling and inviting him for supper, not wanting to seem needy or over eager. But without her family in town, Ian was her only connection to her former life and she had been greedy. Greedy for a little care and kindness, for someone to take notice or an interest in her life.
“You know how it is, Lainey. Every day’s the same and then you die,” he said, tossing her a little self-deprecating smile that made her heart jolt.
“Not really,” she said. Every single day for her was different since she quit her job. The only commonality was an unceasing striving for survival.
“I work, I sleep, I go out.” He shrugged. “Adulthood, am I right?”
“Have you been lonely since Murphy went away?”
He laughed uncomfortably. “I don’t know, Lainey. Guys don’t exactly dwell on things like that.”
“You totally should. Get in touch with all the gooey feelings inside you, Ian. It’s healthy, I promise.”
“Well, that’s what I have you for. To keep me grounded.” He tossed her the little wink again. She felt her cheeks heat and looked down to hide it.
“Guess what?” she said.
“I couldn’t begin.”
“I made you something special,” she announced.
“Everything you make is special,” he said.
“This is extra special,” she declared. “Are you ready? Close your eyes. Are they closed? No peeking.”
“I feel like we’re ten again,” he said.
“When I was ten, you were thirteen,” she reminded him. She double checked to make sure his eyes were still closed, then set her surprise before him. He opened his eyes, blinked slowly twice, then burst into a puff of amused laughter.
“You made this? You made a chocolate fire engine? For me?”
“I’ve been working on my chocolate sculpture game. They’re good for gift orders and I can charge a bundle for them.” Mostly because a ton of hands-on work went into them, but that was neither here nor there.
Carefully, he held it aloft and inspected it. “Lainey, this is awesome. I mean seriously. But I don’t want to eat it.”
“It’s supposed to be enjoyed,” she said.
“I am going to enjoy it. And I’m going to take it to the firehouse so they can enjoy it, too. I’ll tell them where I got it and maybe they’ll order from you.”
“Ian, that’s so sweet. Thank you,” Lainey said. She realized she was staring at him in abject adoration, hands clasped beneath her chin, and made herself look away. “Well, if you’re not going to eat that, what do you want for dessert? Because I’ve kind of got a lot going on here, on the candy front.” She opened a container and stared into it, jumping when Ian came close behind her to peer over her shoulder. His body pressed against the length of hers and she fought a shiver. It was far too long since she touched a boy, way too long since she had a date. Not that they ever ended well when everyone reminded her of Ian and came up short.
“That one,” he said softly, his voice blowing warm on her ear.
Her heart began to thunder. What is he doing? Is he making a move? Why now, of all times? Was it the chocolate fire truck? If so, she’d sculpt a fleet of them. Before she could reach for the candy, he reached around her and picked it up, popping it in his mouth.
“I do love strawberry, Lainey,” he whispered.
Be brave, she told herself and forced herself to turn around so she was chest to chest with him, face to face, minus her lesser height. “I know you love strawberries, Ian,” she said, her voice a croaky whisper.
“You know all the things. Everything about me,” he said. His eyes skimmed over her face. A heavy silence bloomed between them, thick with tension. They remained chest to chest, staring at each other, until Ian beamed and took a step back.
“This was the best, Lainey, thanks. I have to run, though. I’ve got a date. Wish me luck, squirt.”
With that, he tossed her a wink, picked up his jacket, and jetted out the door.