Chapter 38 Tobias
Tobias
I hear the creaking of the floorboards above me. Derrick is busy doing God knows what. The thought is unsettling.
I try to steady my breathing, tapping my foot as I count each shaky inhale.
I hate being here. In the dark. Alone. Unsure of what he’s going to do.
It reminds me too much of when I was a kid and I hate more than anything that I’m back here. How’d I let this happen?
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
My chest heaves as I take in a big breath, but it shortens way too soon. I can’t breathe. I feel too heavy. Like an elephant is sitting on my chest.
Trying once again to unravel my wrists, I wince at the sting in my skin. Fucker used zip ties instead of handcuffs. I can’t believe he’s doing this. I feel so fucking stupid I didn’t tell the cops sooner.
Tears drip down my face which only adds to the panic inside of me. How long have I been here? Is he coming back? Maybe I can persuade him to let me go. Give him whatever he wants and deal with the consequences later.
Suddenly, the door swings open, and I tense as the chair jerks and spins around. Derrick turns back on the light and I watch as he chugs his refilled cup of whiskey.
“Ah, that’s good.” He nods, wiping his mouth off before setting it back on the ledge.
“Why are you doing this? I’ve been giving you everything you wanted. Money. Clothes.” I rush out. I hate bowing down but I’m not exactly in the right position to do otherwise.
Derrick sighs a heavy breath, putting both his hands on his hips. “That’s what’s wrong about your generation, kid. You don’t fucking listen.” He shakes his head. “I told you I wanted you to come home, didn’t I?”
My eyes widen. “You told me you hated me. You burnt the fucking restaurant down. Why would I ever go back to you!?”
“Because you’re mine, Tobias. I put you into this world, I can take you out.”
“If you want to take me out so badly, why don’t you fucking do it?”
“All we have in this world is each other.”
As soon as the words come out, a sick, twisted realization hits me. I see his face tense as his back straightens. He realizes it too.
A soft laugh slips from my lips. “No…I’m all you have.
” I shake my head. “Is that what this is?” I narrow my eyes, feeling that familiar wave of disgust on my tongue.
“You…miss me?” I don’t know what’s worse.
I know he hates me but this…this is a new one.
It’s clear as day. I’m all he has. It almost makes me laugh.
“What? No one to beat up to make you feel big and strong when you’re on the run from the cops?
You need your favorite punching bag to pass the time? ”
The next second happens so fast, I don’t see it coming until everything goes white. A pain shoots up my jaw as my mouth fills with a copper taste.
“Fuck!” I wince, spitting out more blood down my chin.
Derrick lowers over me, crowding me in as he holds onto the back of my chair. “I need you to listen to me, and I need you to listen closely.” His eyes jump between mine. I swallow deeply. I can smell the booze on his breath which makes me scared of what he may do next.
My heels dig into the ground, searching for some strength to move backwards but it’s no luck.
“You’re nothing but a crumb that was left behind.
The only reason why you’re still here right now and not six feet under is because of her.
” He sneers. “You can make up your little reasons if it helps you feel better, but at the end of the day, the only reason why I waste time with your ass is to make sure she didn’t die for nothing. ”
My eyebrows pinch as the harsh words hit my chest. “It wasn’t my fault.”
“It always is.” He stands up, grabbing his glass again.
“I’ve had some time to think over the past few months and I realize part of it is my fault.
” He takes a long swig, leaving the glass empty before smashing it on the floor, making me jump.
“I was too soft on you. I let you run around with that little shit and it warped your mind.” He pokes me in the forehead, reminding me how badly my head hurts.
“I left you alone too much. I should’ve straightened you out. ”
My gut twists just thinking about that. When he was there, he did nothing but hurt me. When he wasn’t, at least I could escape and go to Elijah’s. The only thing that would’ve made my childhood worse was more Derrick.
“So here’s what we’re going to do.” He sniffs, standing up. “You have a choice. Your last choice. One that you don’t deserve but I’ll give to you to be nice.” He digs into his pocket and takes out a pocket knife.
Flicking the switch, I watch as the shiny blade splices through the air.
“You either come with me. Right here, right now. We’re going to leave this fucking place and start new.
Away from all this shit and most importantly, away from anyone who has warped you.
I’ll do what I was always supposed to do and raise you into the respectful man were meant to be.
” He walks behind me, picking my hands up behind me.
I hold my breath, praying for him to slice through the plastic.
Maybe I can rush him and make a run for it.
“But if you say no, Tobias…if you make the wrong choice…” He grabs a hold of my shoulder with one hand and squeezes. “I’m at a loss with you, Toby and I’m afraid there’s nothing else I can do for you. If you choose to stay…I’ll have to let you go in the one way I know will be the best way for you.”
I swallow thickly.
“You’d kill your own son?” I shake my head. He must be bluffing. He may be a pyromaniac but a murderer? Come on.
He lowers himself down to whisper in ear, darkly. “I think you’ve gravely mistaken what a man will do when he’s got nothing left to lose.”
I pinch my eyes shut as goosebumps tingle up my arms. “You’re crazy.”
“And you’re wasting time.” He squeezes hard again. “I don’t want to do this. But I will. It’ll be the last thing I did for you as a father. Save you from yourself.”
My brain races through every possible outcome. I could say yes, get out, and wait until he’s asleep to make a run for it. Maybe I’ll find a phone. Maybe I can slip away. But one thing is certain: I won’t have any options if I’m dead.
“Okay, fine.” I huff. “I’ll leave with you.”
All of a sudden, I feel the cold blade brush my wrist, the sudden freedom of my range of motion coming back springs a sliver of hope inside of me.
That is, until I feel that hard press into my back, reminding me it won’t be so easy. My whole body freezes as he pushes the tip into my back.
“Don’t try anything. I’m not above reminding you who has the power here.” He forcibly nudges my head to the right. “Come on. Move. We’ve got work to do.”
Twisting the door, I step through only to realize immediately what hallway I’m in.
My skin feels cold as I take it all in. The smell of cedar and warmth. Memories of Elijah and I running through the halls flash through my mind.
The lake house.
We’re at the lake house.
“Come on. Keep moving.” Derrick pushes me, making me stumble.
I do as he says, walking forward, stepping up into the main level. I didn’t even realize Jude had a subterranean level to the house. Elijah and I spend so much time upstairs or in the boat house that we never even ventured over here. Especially since we barely drink.
My eyes dart left to right as I take in the mess Derrick has left.
We were just here at the end of the summer and there’s no way we would’ve left it like this.
Clothes I gave Derrick are scattered around the house.
All kinds of junk are scattered across the living room floor as we step inside, and the sight alone makes my eyes sting.
I hate the fact that he’s been here. That he’s touched things with his dirty, filthy hands.
“Elijah’s going to know we’re here. He’ll come for me.” I stammer.
Derrick laughs behind me. “Yeah, I’m counting on it.”
My eyes dart to two red gasoline canisters in the corner of the room. My pulse immediately hammers into my ears.
“What—” I breathe.
“When he comes, which I hope he will. He’ll be returning to nothing but an ash pile.”
I feel my knees start to buckle. Everything. All the memories we’ve made in this house. Memories with Jude. He wants to burn it down just like he did to the restaurant?
My eyes blur as I look at him. “Why?” Is the only thing I can squeeze out of my throat.
This is worse than any time he’s ever beat me. Any time he’s ever touched me. He’s threatening to take away the one place I’ve ever felt safe. The one place I learned what love felt like. Real love.
“You can’t.” I cry out, feeling the tears pour over.
His face twists in pure contempt as he jabs a finger in my direction. “That. That right there is why. You need to realize there’s nothing left for you here. You don’t have anything. You have nothing to return to. No Elijah. No home. Nothing.”
I shake my head, stepping away from him. “No.”
“Tobias.” Derrick warns, raising his gun.
I pinch my eyes shut, shaking my head. “No!” I yell out.
Suddenly, I hear him clock his gun. “You’re deciding right now. This what you want?” He yells out, aiming it right at me.
I shudder, dropping to my knees as I hold my body. “I hate you.” I cry softer now.
He drops his gun at his side and I feel him walk over to one of the canisters. “Yeah, I hate you too,” he says before dropping one in front of me. “Now get to work. I want this place covered in less than fifteen.” He pushes past me, leaving me there, curled up…feeling nothing but emptiness.