Chapter One #2
I let out a bitter laugh, the harsh, short sound completely unlike the careful image I'd cultivated over the past few years.
"It would have been easier if I hadn't discovered that my father had lost everything. The only miracle was that he'd kept things at the bank clean. I don't know what I would have done if I'd had to pay them restitution."
"So you had nothing?"
"Nothing. The house, cars, artwork, my mother's jewelry and my grandmother's engagement rings—they were all sold. If it had just been me, I could have handled it."
"Your mother," he said. "I take it there wasn't any insurance to cover her care?"
"No. My father had her in an excellent facility by that time, but it was too expensive for me to handle on my own. And I wasn't qualified for the kind of job that could cover the bills and pay my rent. If I'd brought her home with me, I couldn't have gone out to work. I was trapped. And terrified."
"Let me guess. John walked in with the solution?"
I should have known Jacob would grasp the situation with a minimum of explanation. He might have lived and worked in the city an hour from our small country town, but he made it his business to know everything about the people who might impact his interests.
He knew all he needed to know about the Jordan family — far more than I had when I'd married John.
I'd grown up the sheltered, indulged daughter of our town's two leading citizens. I wasn't one of those privileged little snots who looked down on the rest of the world for not having the newest cars and clothes.
My mother had, along with lunching at the country club, spent much of her time volunteering in our community.
She'd taken me with her to food drives and literacy clinics, always wanting to make sure I understood how fortunate I was, and in my good fortune, to remember to take care of those with less.
While she'd managed to instill a sense of humility in me, my upbringing had not prepared me for the various ways life could turn ugly.
I'd known about John's family. His father, Big John, was spoken of with respect and awe. Not the same kind of respect people had used when they'd spoken of my father. This was tinged with fear and a vague threat.
I was never quite clear on what Big John did, or didn't do, to earn this type of regard. As far as I knew, he owned a plumbing supply company on the edge of town.
When I asked, my father had told me to stay away from the Jordans. By the time I was in high school, I had the idea that some of Big John's enterprises weren't quite legal, but I hadn't understood what that meant.
Not really. Not until it was too late.
"Yes." I straightened in the chair, as if correcting my posture could pull the shreds of my dignity together.
"He offered to marry me. He was just back from college, ready to settle down, and he said he'd always had his eye on me. He said that if we got married, he'd take over my mother's care. I didn't know what else to do."
"Like a lamb among the wolves," Jacob commented, a wry smile on his face. "You had no idea what you were marrying into, did you?"
"None." I looked away from those knowing silver eyes, afraid I'd see pity. "It was the wrong thing to do. I know that. I told him I didn't love him. And I did my best to be a good wife."
"You played the role he married you to play. Even when you knew what he was."
"Yes." I nodded. I'd married a man for his money. A man I liked, but would never love. The more I grew to know him, the less I even liked him.
But I did my best to be what he wanted, always aware that he held my mother's life in his hands. She was far too fragile to leave The Shaded Glenn, and only John's continued goodwill kept her safe and cared for.
"So why are you here?" Jacob leaned back in his chair, hands folded, resting on his chest. His eyes flicked to the clock on the wall. Time was ticking away, and I wasn't doing a very good job of getting to the point.
"Big John moved into the house a few days ago. He said that with John gone, my debt was transferred to him. And if I wanted to see my mother taken care of, I'd do as he said."
"And what, exactly, did he say he wanted you to do? Sleep with him?" One dark, elegant eyebrow raised as if to ask if that was all it took to scare me off.
"Sleeping with him and keeping his house were just the beginning," I said.
"He and John fought a lot at the end. One of the things they were fighting about was me. Big John felt that I was too big a drain on their resources. That I needed to earn my keep. He wanted to trade me out to some of their associates. John refused."
"You're kidding." Jacob's face darkened, his eyes shading from silver to a dark, forbidding gray.
"I wish I were."
"What did he say when you told him you wouldn't do it?"
"He said he had ways to keep me in line. I acted like I'd go along and said I knew I owed him, but I had my period. Then I snuck out in the middle of the night."
I fell silent, waiting. Jacob watched me, not speaking, for several endless minutes. Every muscle in my body was tight, tense to the point of pain.
Jacob was my only chance. I had no money and no friends I'd risk to Big John's fury. Nowhere to go. Finally, he spoke.
"What do you expect me to do?"
This was the sticking point. The truth was, I didn't know. I wasn't asking for a job. After four years of marriage to John, I still had no marketable skills. All I had was my willingness to do anything to protect my mother.
"I can't take my mother out of the facility she's in. I can't afford to pay the fees. And I'm not sure, even if I turned my back on my mother, that I can stay clear of Big John. I need help with all of it."
Jacob remained silent, studying me. I swallowed. It was against my temperament to push, but I didn't have a choice.
"I know it's too much to ask. But I'll do anything." I stared him in the eye, daring him to doubt my commitment.
"Anything is a dangerous promise." Jacob tilted his head to the side.
It should have been endearing. Instead, it made him look like a predator studying his prey. Me. I swallowed before I spoke, my throat thick with nerves.
"Before I left, Big John said he was going to shoot me up with heroin and chain me to a bed while a gang of bikers rapes me. I'll do anything that stops short of drugs and rape."
More silence. Then Jacob picked up the phone on his desk.
"Rachel, reschedule my 11:15." He hung up the phone and studied me another long minute before he spoke. "I want you. I wanted you the first minute I saw you. You know that. It's why you came to me."
"I—" I stopped speaking. Without knowing where he was going, I didn't want to dig myself a hole. I fell silent, waiting to hear what he would say.
"I have a circumstance I find difficult to handle, Abigail," he went on. "Over the years, I've tried various methods of dealing with it, and none have met with success. I've been thinking it's time to try something new. And you're going to be my something new."
My mind raced.
Jacob's lips had curved into a smile at the word 'new'. His top lip was severe, the bottom lushly full. Together, they drew the eye. Especially in a half-smile with a hint of mischief.
His words, the smile, all sounded like he was going to help me. Now I just had to see what being his 'something new' would entail. Unable to force my mouth to move, I lifted my chin, inviting him to continue.
"I like sex," he said. "I like a lot of sex. I like variety. Kink. You've probably never heard of half of the things I've thought about doing to you. What I don't like is inconvenience."
Jacob leaned forward, his eyes locked to mine, elbows resting on the polished wood of his desk.
"Relationships are inconvenient. They involve compromise, accommodation, and time.
I don't have the patience for the first two or enough of the last. I don't want to get to know a woman.
I'm not interested in intimacy outside of sex.
What I want is to fuck when I want to fuck.
And I want to fuck a woman I'm attracted to who will let me do anything I want to her. "
"Will you hurt me?"
My voice was high and tight. I don't know what I was expecting, but this matter-of-fact, efficient speech wasn't it. It was, however, far less scary than Big John's proposal.
"Yes," he answered. My stomach pitched. "But I won't damage you. And the kind of hurt I'm talking about? You'll like it."
"So how does it work?"
"You move in with me. You don't leave the house. Ever. You do nothing without my permission. I'm not looking for a woman. I'm looking for a pet. An obedient, available pet. Can you do that?"
I stared, not sure I could answer. I'd walked in prepared to trade my body for my mother's safety. It wasn't honorable, but it was the only thing of value I had to offer.
But this, his dehumanizing description of what he wanted from me, had shocked the speech from my brain. Lips and tongue frozen, I forced myself to nod.
I couldn't afford for Jacob to think twice. No matter how terrifying this sounded, I couldn't run away. He stood, pushed back his chair, and rounded his wide desk. Standing in front of me, he rested his hands on his hips and said,
"I think, before we go any further, I need a sample."
I stared up at him in dumb confusion. If my brain had been working, I'd have known exactly what he meant. Since I was slow, he clarified.
"Suck my cock."