Chapter Six #2
"Yes, I'm staying." Despite my embarrassment, my uncertainty, and the outright confusion at how I was going to handle all of this, I did not want to leave.
I wasn't entirely sure if that was my pussy talking, still hanging on in the hopes of an eventual orgasm, or my long-standing fascination with Jacob.
Probably both. And let's not forget that his power and money were the only things standing between my mother and a life on the street. Then there was Big John . . . I had a lot of reasons to stay.
"Do you have any questions?" Jacob slid his seat back from the table, crossing one ankle over his knee in a comfortable half-slouched position.
I'd been right again. The plushy upholstered chairs really did invite lounging at the table.
If I hadn't been naked, I might have been tempted to imitate his position.
Instead, I sat up straight, knees together, acutely aware of my upthrust breasts and the chain dangling between them. Did I have questions? More than a few.
"Are you . . . is this . . . are you into bondage?"
My inexperience was showing. I knew what I wanted to ask, but I didn't have the right language to ask it.
"Are you asking if I like to tie women up for sex, or if I practice BDSM?"
"Both, I guess. I'm not sure I understand the difference," I said.
"Then I'll explain. BDSM refers to a lifestyle, at least the way I think you're asking.
And the answer to that is no. I'm not a trained master, and I don't generally engage in dominant/submissive relationships with women.
I'm neither a sadist nor a masochist. However, I do enjoy a variety of activities, sexually, including bondage.
And in most things, but absolutely when it comes to sex, I like to be in charge. "
"So this is the first time you've had something like this?"
I gestured between us, not comfortable using the word 'pet' to refer to myself out loud.
"It is," he said. "As I said earlier, I'm trying something new."
"Because you don't want a relationship," I said.
"Exactly."
"But—"
"Abigail," he said. "Don't overanalyze it.
I'm going to be sexist for a minute, so bear with me.
Women tend to think everyone wants a relationship.
That everyone needs to partner up. I'm not interested.
I have work. I have friends. I have time for very few outside interests.
Relationships are demanding. Frankly, I've never been involved with a woman who was worth the trouble. At least, not outside of bed."
"Don't you get lonely?"
"Were you lonely with John?" he asked.
That was a direct hit. He was right. I had been lonely with John, desperately lonely.
"Okay, but what happens if while we're doing this," I gestured between us again. "You meet someone and—"
"Not going to happen. What we're doing right here? This is stacking up to be my ideal situation. As long as you're good with it, you don't have to worry about any other women."
"All right," I said.
Maybe it was sexist. Did all women think everyone had to pair up? I didn't know. The assumption that people were meant to couple had always felt like a given part of life.
And here was Jacob saying that, now that he had me, he had everything. Some part of me, the part that was still innocent, that still hoped, felt like he was giving up. As if, even with all he had, he was settling for a barren existence by denying a need for love.
Who was I to tell Jacob Winters how to live? I'd made a mess of my own life. And I certainly hadn't had any luck finding love for myself. Maybe this was the best I could do as well.
"Any other questions?" he asked.
"Yes. When can I visit my mother?" I asked.
"Not yet. As soon as I think it's safe, I'll arrange for you to visit her. How often do you normally go to see her?"
"At least three times a week," I said. "I'll need to call and let them know I won't be in for a while."
"I'd rather you didn't," Jacob said. "You're more secure if you have zero contact with the outside world. I already called them today and had your mother's account transferred to my name."
"They let you do that?"
"It turns out that Big John hasn't been overly prompt in paying her bills. They were more than happy, with a little extra incentive, to move her account to a more reliable source of income."
"He wasn't paying for her care?"
After all that he'd put me through, the idea that big John wasn't even covering her bills enraged me. Our position had been more precarious than I'd known, a thought that would have terrified me if Jacob hadn't already come to our rescue.
"He was paying," Jacob said. "Just not on time every month. He was delinquent often enough that they felt secure, legally, in terminating his access to her account. You remain the primary contact person. Don't worry."
"And you really think it's that dangerous for me to leave the penthouse?" I asked.
"For now, I do." Jacob paused, taking a sip of his wine, thinking. "How much do you know about what the Jordans are into?"
"Not a lot," I said, embarrassed that I was so ignorant of my in-laws’ activities.
In a wry, self-deprecating tone, I said, "Based on the people I've seen coming through the house and the business, I figured out that they don't run a plumbing supply company."
To my surprise, a laugh burst from Jacob's mouth, showing a line of straight white teeth. The sound was lighthearted, amused, and it made him look years younger. I couldn't help but smile back.
"Have you been inside the business?" he asked.
"Just the front offices. And only a few times. A long time ago, when we were first married, I wandered into the warehouse by mistake. John was furious, and I never went near it again."
"What did you see?"
"Nothing that looked like plumbing supplies," I answered. "Not that I know a lot about what plumbing supplies would look like, but I'm pretty sure they don't come in soft, plastic-wrapped bales."
"No," Jacob said, shaking his head. "They don't."
"I was very young when we got married. I didn't realize what I was seeing. Not until more recently."
"And how much of my business do you think intersects with Big John's?"
A disorienting rush of horror sent my stomach plunging to my toes. Icy fear washed my skin.
I'd assumed, since I'd known Jacob through John and not his father, that Jacob's business interests were entirely legitimate.
Thinking of his office, this penthouse, and the power I knew he held in the city, that assumption suddenly seemed very, very foolish.
"Relax," Jacob said. "I'm not the next in line to serve you up to a gang of bikers.
I'm not a criminal. I don't do business with criminals.
John was trying to take the Jordans legitimate.
His efforts were failing when he died, but our work together was in commercial real estate, not running drugs or guns or any of the rest of the shit your father-in-law's got going on. "
"Okay." I could barely get my breath.
"I only asked because I wanted a clearer idea of who you thought you were getting into bed with. But the look on your face tells me everything I need to know."
"If you're not involved with that side of their business, how do you know so much?" I dared to ask.
"Information is essential, Abigail. I make a point of knowing everything there is to know about the players in my city.
Especially if I'm working with them. The money John invested with my projects was technically clean, but I had to make sure I understood where it originally came from.
I know more about what Big John has going right now than he'd like.
And I've heard rumors that he has a tasty new treat to offer his partners as an incentive. "
"You mean he's been telling people . . .?" My stomach turned.
"That's what I heard," Jacob said. "There's interest in John's widow, and he's going to be very unhappy when he can't find you.
I don't know how hard or long he's going to look for you.
He might be willing to cut his losses, or his ego might make this difficult.
Some of it depends on what promises he's made involving you, and to whom he's made those promises.
I don't want to keep you from your mother.
I think I understand how important she is to you. But I won't risk your safety."
"How long do you think I’ll have to wait?"
"I don't know. As soon as I think it's safe, I'll arrange for you to resume your regular visits."
I couldn't argue with that. As much as I wanted to see my mother, whether she knew I was there or not, it would be a disaster in every way possible if I fell into Big John's hands.
I was just going to have to be patient.
"Now," Jacob said. "Let's have dessert."