Chapter Thirty-Five #2
“He works too much,” I said, trying for distantly cool and instead sounding awkward.
It killed me to admit that I cared what anyone thought of me, but I wanted Charlie to like me.
She was Aiden’s baby sister, the sister he’d practically raised, and at our first meeting, she hadn’t seemed thrilled I was with her brother.
“I know. He fired me for being a workaholic, but does he slow down? No.”
“Well, you know it’s not the same,” I said, dryly. “Aiden is the King of the Universe. Mortal rules don’t apply.”
“Ha! He’d like to think so. You’ll have fun curing him of the idea. I already heard about the résumé fight. And the locked wine room.”
“Oh, God.” I sank into one of the armchairs opposite Aiden’s desk, smacking my cool hands over my suddenly fiery cheeks. “I thought I heard someone try to come in.”
Charlie smirked. “That’s the downside of this family—no privacy. We know everything, and what we don’t know, we eventually badger out of you.”
“Privacy is overrated. Privacy is what you get when your family doesn’t care about you.” I could taste the bitterness in my words, and I didn’t like it.
I wanted to shrug it off as if it didn’t matter that my parents didn’t love me. I couldn’t forget my father not bothering to greet me when we’d visited. He hadn’t asked how I was. Where I was living. If I was alright.
I had all the privacy I wanted from them, and I would have traded it in a second to know they cared what happened to me. They weren’t built like that. I knew it, I’d had a lifetime of experience as a teacher. And still, I held on to a grain of hope.
The sympathy in Charlie’s ocean blue eyes burned. I didn’t want her to feel sorry for me. How could she not? She’d lost her own parents, but from all accounts, they’d loved their children with everything they had.
Aiden had been young, but he’d stepped into the breach to hold the foundation strong. They were loud, and interfering, and nosy, but this family knew how to love. I couldn’t help but envy Chase a little for having a claim to a portion of that love.
I was adrift, tethered only to Chase and he’d found himself a whole new family.
I shoved my self-pity aside, bolstered a little when Charlie said, “Mrs. W likes you. Aunt Amelia says you have starch. And you got Aiden to unchain himself from his desk and come home for dinner. I guess you can stay.” Her quirky smile pulled a faint grin from me.
“I definitely won’t dump a bucket of water on your head,” she added, the smile flashing into mischief, making her look a decade younger. I’d bet Aiden had had his hands full with Charlie when she was a teenager.
“You dumped a bucket of water on Elizabeth’s head?”
“From the landing. They were on their way to a black tie dinner. She was wearing chiffon and her hair was in these huge curls.”
I smacked a hand over my mouth, my shoulders shaking with laughter as I imagined Elizabeth’s cool, blond beauty drenched with water, her mascara running, hair flattened, chiffon dress turned to sodden rags.
When I got my breath back I said, “Please tell me someone has a picture of that.”
“I wish. Aiden was furious. I was grounded for a month. Totally worth it.”
“I bet. The last time we met I was tempted to throw my champagne in her face. If she comes near Aiden again, I might.”
“I’ll keep my phone handy, just in case.”
The family dinner went better than I expected.
Annalise had spread the word about Aiden’s attempt to bail and my dragging him home.
We all marveled at how much Chase and Vance looked alike, which was only a little weird.
Chase sat across from me, both of us flanking Aiden at the head of the table, and watched us with sharp eyes all through the meal.
If he was looking for fault in Aiden, he didn’t find it. We were all on our best behavior.
Gage didn’t poke at me, Aiden didn’t provoke Chase, Aunt Amelia didn’t hide any plastic insects in the salad.
All in all, things were good. I should have been sleeping like a baby.
Instead, I lay awake beside Aiden, staring at the ceiling, unable to settle my mind.
When I slept my dreams were uneasy, and when I woke in the dark with a jerk, I had only memories of shadowy hallways.
Of wandering in the dark. Of being lost.
I didn’t need a psychology degree or a shrink to tell me the loose ends in my life were plaguing my sleep. I knew once things were settled—once I found a job, an apartment, got a name from the Sinclairs—I’d feel less adrift.
Telling myself that I was doing my best didn’t help.
Every day I sent out résumés, made phone calls.
I went on interviews and got turned down for a job I really wanted.
This time it turned out I wasn’t qualified enough, reminding me that if I didn’t get a job, I’d never save enough for tuition, and I’d never finish school.
Every day I asked Aiden if he’d heard from Cooper, if they’d found the attorney or a name. Every day he said they hadn’t. With each day that passed, my uncertainty grew.
Maybe they wouldn’t find anyone. Maybe the contract was just a dead end and I’d never know. Maybe I wouldn’t find a job I liked, wouldn’t be able to save enough for school. Wouldn’t get in when I applied. My grades had been good, my GMAT scores were strong, but the program was competitive.
Aiden’s words ate at me. I was still jobless and homeless.
Five years after my parents had thrown me out, and I had nothing to show for myself.
I’d spent most of that time helping Chase build a company that no longer existed, and I’d lost a chunk of my savings when Harrison had changed the contracts and stolen it out from under us. I was back at square one. Again.
I lay beside Aiden in bed, still and quiet so I didn’t wake him, my thoughts going in circles. I didn’t want him to know about any of it—the bad dreams, that I wasn’t sleeping.
He wouldn’t be able to stop himself from trying to fix everything.
He’d never understand that if he fixed it for me, I’d only feel worse.
I just needed to hang in there and keep trying.
Eventually, I’d find the right job, find a place to live, find the people behind that contract. I knew everything would work out.
But in the dark of night, my worries keeping me from sleep, I didn’t quite believe it.