Chapter Six
Annabelle
Iwent back to sweeping, trying to clear my head. Tommy was the past, no matter how often he tried to play a role in my present. He couldn't stand the thought that I'd moved on.
Never mind that he'd done the same well before I had. So far before, we’d still been married when he’d moved on from me. If only he’d let me do the same.
Talking to Tommy was like looking in a fun house mirror. Everything I believed of him, he threw in my face.
I was selfish.
I was thoughtless.
I was dishonest and demanding and unreasonable.
It was always me in the wrong. When I accused him of the same, he flipped it back.
If I’d been kinder, if I’d loved him more, then he would have been nicer to me.
If he pushed too hard, it was my fault for not giving in fast enough.
I tried to clear my head and focus on sweeping. Thinking about Tommy would only ruin the rest of my night. The day had been long enough as it was. I didn't need to spend the rest of it mulling over a past I couldn't change.
I tried to focus on the menu for the next day. I’d rather think about food than Tommy any day.
By the time I finished sweeping the front, Chase had the bathroom, hallway, kitchen, and behind the counter mopped to a shine. The acrid scent of cleaning fluid displaced the warmth of coffee and baked goods.
It would be faded by morning, the café filled with the tempting scents of fresh biscuits and muffins. Just the thought of baking for the day to come lifted my spirits.
"What's the special tomorrow?" Chase asked.
Today I'd made cinnamon buns with raisins and thick cream cheese frosting. They were one of my favorites, but they hadn't tempted Chase. Chase, I’d learned, was all about the chocolate.
"I'll tell you if you give me the mop," I said, picking up the broom and full dustpan, tilting it back carefully to keep the mess inside.
"I'm not giving you the mop," he said, "but tell me anyway."
"Fine, but only because you're bigger than me and I can't take it forcibly. I'm making salted caramel brownies. Do you like salted caramel?"
"Do I like salted caramel? Does anyone not like salted caramel? Salted caramel brownies… Man, in the right mood I'd probably kill someone for one of those. Promise me you're going to save me one," he said.
"Give me the mop and I'll give you two of them," I promised.
Chase hesitated for just a second and I couldn't help the smile that curled my lips. I don't know why I found his weakness for chocolate so cute.
Maybe because he looked like the kind of guy who lived on chicken breasts and wheatgrass shots. There wasn't an ounce of fat on his body and yet when I waved chocolate in front of him he couldn't resist.
With a wince, he shook his head slowly. "Can't do it.
It kills me to say it. The idea of an Annabelle brownie with salted caramel…
I'm going to dream about that tonight. But you've been up since four AM, busting your ass and on your feet all day.
No fucking way am I handing you this mop so I can lounge around and watch you work. "
"Chase, this is my job. This is my place. I like my work. I don't expect you to clean up."
"Just let it go. I'm almost done. You can send me home with some extra day-old baked goods to make it up to me."
"That I can do," I murmured, giving up and carrying the broom and dustpan to the back where I emptied it and put it away.
From behind me, Chase said in an overly casual tone, "So, did you ever date Aiden or Gage? Or Vance? You were best friends with Lise, so you must have spent a lot of time with them."
I laughed. I couldn't help it. At the thought of dating any of them, I started to giggle, one of those giggles that grows until you can't catch a breath and your whole body is shaking with it.
Through my laughter, Chase said, "What? It's not an unreasonable thing to ask. They're all good guys. You're a beautiful woman. I can guess you were a pretty teenager. Unless you were one of those ugly ducklings with zits and a hunchback until you hit eighteen and woke up looking like this."
He gestured to me in my sweaty T-shirt and coffee-stained jeans, hair in a messy bun—and not the kind you spend half an hour on to make it look messy—an actual mess of hair I'd shoved back in a ponytail holder so I could clean without it getting in my face.
"I wasn't quite an ugly duckling," I said, "but I wasn’t a beauty queen either. Mostly, I was plain."
I hadn't been unattractive, but I hadn’t been particularly pretty either. I’d had some zits, but not a lot. I’d developed right on time, but sadly ended up with modest breasts and almost no hips.
I never had to struggle with my weight, which I knew made me lucky, but on the other hand, I'd never fill out a bra the way my pre-adolescent self had hoped.
All in all, I was used to my body and my face. I figured I was lucky in some things and less so in others. Pretty much like every other woman I knew.
Sometimes, when I caught Chase looking at me, I had the feeling he saw something I didn't.
He interrupted my thoughts to press, "So that's a no?"
"Why are you asking?"
"Because I'm nosy," he said.
I laughed again and distracted myself, rearranging the napkins and stirrers at the end of the counter.
"I never dated any of them. Never wanted to.
We were friends, but Lise was my best friend growing up.
Dating one of her brothers or cousins… It would have been weird.
Plus, their world is not my world. We may have gone to school together, but I didn't really fit in over there. You know what I mean?"
I had a feeling Chase knew exactly what I meant.
"Yeah. Yeah, I get you," he said, and for a moment his charm was stripped away and I saw everything in his eyes. His frustration and hesitancy, his sadness and his anger.
Quietly, I said, "I bet you do."
Surprising me, he explained, "Violet and I grew up with parents who were well-off.
We didn't need to worry about money. My mom didn't work, and they’re both obsessed with social climbing.
But all of that—nice house, nice cars, nice vacations—doesn't mean our lives came anywhere close to the world the Winters live in. That house alone…"
A gust of a laugh burst out. "I know what you mean.
I was so little, but I still remember the first time I saw it when my mom dropped me off for a play date.
She kept reminding me not to touch anything.
Looking back, I think she was very aware of her position in the office at school versus the power the Winters family held.
“She liked Anna and Olivia, and they liked her.
But our families didn't socialize. I was always welcome in Winters House and Lise’s mom treated me like one of her own when I was there.
Later, so did Olivia. They're good people.
All of them. Still, I know what you mean.
It's a totally different world. And it's not easy to be dumped in the middle of it, is it? "
Under his breath, he muttered, "You don't know the half of it."
I finished with the napkins and straws and started straightening the sugar packets, giving Chase a second to compose himself. He hadn't told me directly and neither had any of the Winters, but I had eyes.
Chase looked so much like Vance I might have thought he was Vance’s twin instead of Annalise if I hadn’t known better. He had Anna’s eyes. His connection to the Winters family was not only his sister's relationship with Aiden.
I knew they'd been looking for a missing child for months, and I was willing to bet all the coffee in my storage room that Chase was that child.
I could also guess that finding the Winters family was overwhelming. Confusing. He was here because he didn't want to face what waited for him at home. The last thing I wanted to do was drag it all out and make him talk about it.
I looked up from the cream and sugar station to find his eyes on me, hot and assessing.
Shit.
I braced, ready to turn him down if he asked me out again. A little voice in the back of my head was screaming, Stop being an idiot and say yes.
I wasn't listening to that voice.
The last time I had, she’d destroyed my life.
I had bad taste in men.
Chase was going through a lot right now. He could get a woman anywhere, but what he really needed was a friend.
I wasn't going to go out with him. I couldn't take that risk. But that didn't mean I couldn't be there for him. Friendship lasted a lot longer than love anyway.
Love is a risk. Love is destructive and dangerous. Friendship is safe. Friendship was all I could offer.
Chase dropped his gaze and the moment broke, leaving me with a rush of relief underlain with a hint of bitter disappointment.