Chapter 4
FOUR
I don't know how long I remain like that, barely in control of myself. I only know that once awareness starts to seep in, my eyes zone in on the empty street—more confirmation that there's no one around.
Once I'm able to get myself out of that dangerous zone, I shake my head in exasperation. The confrontation with Matthew must have shaken me more than I realized. After all, I've learned from Nikki that the mind works in mysterious ways, especially when it comes to traumatic episodes. And I'm barely starting to experience the full-blown effects of his death.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I wobble to my feet and go to the first convenience store I find to grab some ibuprofen for the pain. That should do the trick until I can get the rest of the medicine the doctor provided. But since I can't take the pills on an empty stomach, I resolve to go to the pizza place next door that seems to have some affordable items on the menu. Considering my current circumstances, I really need to budget properly.
If only things weren't so expensive in New York...
Grumbling to myself, I quickly scan the menu, choosing a basic pepperoni small pizza and asking for a glass of tap water—at least that's free.
I eat slowly to avoid indigestion. But as I sit in my secluded corner in the restaurant, I can't help but feel eyes on me. The hair on my arms stands to attention, goose bumps spreading all over my skin. Uneasiness settles deep in the pit of my stomach. Furtively, I glance back a couple of times, but there's no one of consequence. Everyone is minding their own business, eating.
"I'm just being paranoid," I whisper to myself, grabbing another bite.
Living with Nikki's paranoia for so long must have rubbed off on me. But is it really paranoia when he ended up killed by the very people he was afraid of?
I take a deep breath as I try to keep my calm. But how can I when I think about all the injustices my Nikki suffered? We might have been happy together, in our little world, but that happiness was always overshadowed by the perpetual danger his family posed to us.
The more I think about it, the more I realize Nikki likely never had a moment of peace in his life. Perhaps when he was a child and his parents were still alive, but after their deaths, he was thrust from one nightmare to another—tortured both physically and psychologically.
I scan my surroundings again for fear I may be the next on the Archibalds' list. Maybe I should have tried to understand Nikki better. Maybe if he hadn't noticed my longing for the outside world, we wouldn't have left the safety of our home, and he'd still be alive.
Maybe...
I sigh audibly as I stare at the leftover crusts.
If he were here, he'd eat those since they were his favorite part of the pizza—we'd always complemented each other in that regard.
But now...
I grab the first one, biting into it and forcing myself to chew. I do the same to the next until the plate is empty.
He's not here anymore, and I need to get used to it— for now . I can't afford to go through those five stages of grief I'd read about online. I only need one —vengeance. But to do that, I know I can't let myself succumb to my sadness. I just have to use it to fuel my thirst for revenge.
I nurse my tap water until it gets dark out.
Releasing a deep sigh, I venture out into the night, deciding to take a small walk before going to the apartment.
I don't trust the police who investigated Nikki's death any more than I trust the Archibalds, and that means I need to ensure the USB with the evidence doesn't fall into the wrong hands. It's the only way I can rehabilitate Nikki's name.
Lost in my thoughts, my feet take me to the Brooklyn Bridge, and I tentatively go to the pedestrian side, admiring the view of the Hudson River.
I can still remember the first time I'd seen it and how awestruck I'd been by the size and magnificence of New York City. After all, wasn't this what I'd always dreamed of? The type of freedom that you could find only in movies because real life would never be that fair. I'd first learned about it from Nikki, and he'd described the opulence and sheer size of the buildings in a way that shaped my dreams of the outside world. Yet I fear it's those dreams that have steered us on this path—that wretched desire of mine to experience...more.
I bring my fist to my chest, banging it against my heart in admonishment.
I'd dared to want too much, and now this is my reward.
The city stretches out before me, the buildings taller than ever, with their blinding lights and the raucous car noises.
But I'm alone.
I'm all...alone.
I fiddle with my wedding ring as I stare into the distance, Nikki's face as I'd last seen it appearing before my eyes—bloody, hopeless...unmoving. That vacant look that had descended upon his features as life left his body will haunt me forever, as will the knowledge that I'd been there—that I'd seen him give his last breath. And yet... I wouldn't change it. I'd rather keep this suffering deep in my heart as long as he was able to die peacefully, with me by his side—as long as he told me the words that were so dear to his heart.
His last words.
Will always love you.
I draw a deep breath into my battered lungs, tipping my head back and blinking back the tears that threaten to flood my eyes.
Those words. Those four words.
I'll let them caress my soul and imbue it with the necessary courage for the days to come—I'll keep them nestled in my breast for as long as I have left on this Earth. And when I finally draw my last breath too, I'll whisper them to him, so he can utter them back in the afterlife.
Slowly, I raise my hand to the sky, watching a few stars as they sneak between my fingers. I've never been a believer. Not since I saw all the evil in this world and wondered how a deity that was supposedly good could bring forth so much tragedy. Then I watched Sergio spin his god-like narrative, fool people and manipulate them for his own gain. And even then, I still wondered, how was it that a god would wish ill upon anyone? Shouldn't gods be above people?
I'd always had questions, but only when Nikki had come along had I gotten some answers. Yet now, I find myself wishing it were true—that there was some type of heaven where we could be reunited in the end.
Because if not...
My eyes snap shut, pain vibrating under my skin with increasing frequency. Like an earthquake waiting to be set loose, it echoes through my being, pushing me closer and closer to the brink.
It would be so easy to end it all...to take a step closer and stare the abyss in the face. But that would be the easy way out. How could I let Nikki's killers walk free?
With a deep sigh, I open my eyes. I should probably head back before I get some more foolish ideas.
When I step back, my phone vibrates in my pocket. A text message from Noelle has the address of her downtown apartment she graciously allowed to let me use for the time being and the passcodes to the building. With a weary sigh, I plug in the address in the maps app and follow the directions.
But as I turn, I come face to face with a masked man standing less than one foot away from me.
What... When did he get so close?
Before I can say anything, he slaps my hand so hard, my phone flies over the bridge, plunging into the water with a thud.
My eyes widen in shock before fear settles in.
Adrenaline surges through my veins as I turn to run. But I barely take one step forward before his fingers are in my hair, dragging me back.
"Let go." I grit my teeth as I try to fight him—not that easy with my cast on and the other injuries that make it hard for me to move.
He doesn't say anything, simply tightening his hold over my scalp. All at once, he pushes me toward the railing, my entire body reeling from the impact.
"Help!" I scream. "Help me!" Yet what good does that do when there's no one around? My assailant knows this, for he doesn't even bother to muffle my screams.
He maneuvers me around until he has a good grasp on me.
I try to hold on to the metal with my good hand, but he's much bigger and stronger than me—so much so that he can effortlessly lift me up over the railing and...
One moment, I see the blinding city lights and the clear night sky full of stars. The next, I'm diving headfirst toward a turbulent abyss that is anxiously waiting to swallow me up.
I can't even react. I can't flail my arms. I can't move or do anything. I can only fall freely.
I fall at an odd angle. My shoulder is the first that makes contact with the water, then my head. Pain becomes my second skin as I dive toward the bottom. Even my good arm is useless, the pain from the impact spreading from my shoulder down my entire right side.
I sputter at being suddenly deprived of oxygen, but it's an instinctual reaction and one I'm paying dearly for as my mouth and nose fill with water. The more I try to keep it out, the more it seeks to rush inside.
I kick my legs, moving them in a fluttering motion in an attempt to stop myself from sinking even deeper. But no matter how much I try, it's useless. The current of the river spins and twirls me, the depths of the water reaching for me and pulling me closer.
Is it at that moment that I give up? Is it when I sink deeper and deeper? Is it when there's no oxygen left inside my lungs, or is it when my entire body becomes so filled with water it's almost one with the water?
My eyes are unblinking as I stare at the darkness—at the abyss that slowly calls my name. Slowly, I stop struggling.
This is my fate, it seems. But maybe it's a mercy. Maybe, just maybe...
More water gurgles down my throat.
My thoughts are in disarray.
I'm not sure if I can focus on anything specific as the seconds trickle down before my imminent death, but if I could, I'd always choose Nikki.
Nikki who saved me. Nikki who loved me. Nikki who...left me.
Nikki who is now waiting for me.
Everything slows down until I'm truly one with the darkness.
* * *
W ater comes out of my mouth and nose as I cough and cough. My throat is on fire as I hold on to my stomach, spitting up every bit of liquid I swallowed.
I retch until there's nothing more to expel, at which point I collapse on my back.
It doesn't register that I'm alive yet. Not until blinding light washes over my face, the morning sun moving higher and higher in the sky. I squint my eyes, groaning as pain erupts from all places of my body at once.
My broken arm is completely numb, while my right one is bruised and battered. At this point, I doubt there's any spot on my body that hasn't been absolutely obliterated.
But against all odds, I'm alive—I guess.
"Lucky me," I mumble, my voice coming out thick and ragged.
Dragging myself into a sitting position, I look right and left, noting I'm on the shore of the Hudson but quite a distance away from the bridge. I guess the currents must have carried me here.
"Can someone have worse luck than me?" I mutter dryly as I wobble to my feet. My clothes are semi-dry at this point, but I feel dirty and gross and...
"Oh my God," I groan when I think of all the water I swallowed. Who knows what could have been in it. The unbidden thought of an article I'd read about sewage sometimes draining into the Hudson makes me retch again, but at this point I've thrown up everything in me.
My breathing is patchy, a wheezing sound coming from my throat that is not normal. Well, I guess neither is being attacked by a masked man and thrown into the river. The mere fact that I'm still alive is a miracle considering I was already half incapacitated before diving from a couple hundred feet.
Quickly, I scan my surroundings to confirm that I am indeed alive and this isn't some farcical afterlife. But going by the acute pain I'm feeling and the putrid smell that somehow's made its home in my nostrils, I think it's safe to say this is not the afterlife—who would be that cruel?
Yet as I take a few steps, something else catches my attention.
Next to the place I woke up, there's a white, sparkly note. Frowning, I stoop to pick it up, only to drop it back down when cursive writing appears on it out of nowhere. Like one of those fade-in animation effects, black letters stain the sparkly note.
"You've been invited," I read out loud the first line. Right underneath, my name appears in purple letters— purple ?
Lucero Archibald.
"I've been invited to what?" I blink in confusion. Yet no sooner do I utter the words than a third line appears on the note.
101 W 54th St.
I barely get to blink before the writing fades out, the note becoming blank once again.
What is this? Is it some kind of sophisticated technology? I've never been too good at technology, barely able to operate my personal smartphone. But this... Now this is the stuff of the future.
Am I in the future?
I shift my gaze to the tall buildings on the other side of the Hudson. Surely, if I'd fallen through some wormhole and arrived in the future, it wouldn't still look this bad?
I blink slowly, satisfied with my train of thought. Maybe it's just some kind of tech I'm not familiar with. I can allow that considering I'm barely familiar with anything.
"I must be going crazy," I sigh. I don't even have the strength to panic about the odd note—or the possibility that I might have arrived in a futuristic but still as dirty NYC. Instead, I simply write it off as being a side effect of my almost drowning. Before I can turn and walk away, though, more letters appear on the surface of the note.
What do you wish for more than anything in this world?
Money? Fame? Revenge? Love?
I rub my eyes vigorously before I look at the note again.
We can make it all come true.
"What the..."
A date appears underneath?—
Today at 8:00 p.m
Then there's one more line.
Dare to take the leap.
And just like before, the writing vanishes again, the sparkly note blank and unblemished.
I close my eyes, inhaling deeply. Right, I'm probably hallucinating. It wouldn't be the first time. Extreme conditions tend to do that to a person. Back when I'd worked in Sergio's temple, I'd had periods of utter exhaustion coupled with a lack of nourishment that made me see things that weren't there. But I'm also smart enough to realize that's all it is.
Shaking my head for even entertaining the possibility that the writing might be real, I turn my back to it, leaving it on the ground as I slowly make my way to the main road. There, I hail a taxi to take me to the address Noelle gave me.