Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
"N ikki?" A choked sob escapes me as I all but jump off the staircase in my attempt to get closer to him. "Is it you? Please tell me it's you," I plead.
This is what pure madness is. Prizing the potential of one more moment with my beloved above my own safety.
It could be anything. It could be anyone. But I throw caution to the wind and focus only on what he makes me feel—on what my heart tells me is true.
How could anyone but him awaken this raging storm of longing in my heart?
I reach with my hand for him, curling my fingers inward as I hesitate to touch him.
"Nikki?" I ask in a whisper.
He doesn't answer. Of course he doesn't answer. He's shimmery dust, not a person, and according to Thea, his spirit would barely have awareness.
Yet in spite of that, the shimmery mist that makes up his shape flickers, the light particles growing in intensity.
I stare at it with my mouth wide open, my brain working fast on a solution.
He can't mean me harm. I sense no malicious intent from him, only curiosity and protectiveness.
"You can't speak, can you?"
The mist shimmers again.
But against all odds, he is trying to communicate with me.
My pulse is in my ears as I stare at him, almost unable to believe this is real. But if gods, demons, ghosts, and who knows what other creatures exist, why can't this be? Why can't I have at least this after suffering so much in this lifetime?
"Can you light up once for no and twice for yes?" I ask tentatively.
The mist lights up once. Then another time.
Oh God. It's happening. Excitement courses through me as I take a step closer.
"You can understand me, right?"
He lights up twice. Yes.
"Are you attached to me?"
I wait for a moment for him to answer, but when he doesn't, I rephrase my question.
"Have you been following me?"
Two shimmers. Yes.
I nod to myself.
Okay. Good. That is good to know.
"Have you been following me since the game?"
One shimmer. No.
"Before?"
Two shimmers. Yes.
Oh my. I'm close to hyperventilating the closer I get to the most important question.
"Have you been with me since the accident?"
He doesn't answer. Of course he wouldn't really remember the accident, would he?
"Are you my... Nikki?" I wet my lips as I stare intently at the mass of black-silvery swirling dust.
One shimmer. My stomach drops. It's not him? There's a heartbeat pause before his body lights up again in a second shimmer.
I bring my hand to my mouth to cover a gasp. I knew it. Oh, I knew it.
"You're my husband, aren't you? My Nikki," I repeat, struggling to keep the emotion out of my voice.
Two shimmers. Yes.
Adrenaline rushes through my veins, and I lose sight of everything but him. Before I know it, I throw myself over him, my arms reaching out for him, to hold, to caress, to love.
Yet the most I feel is the cold air that brushes against my limbs— his cold air. That is the only evidence he exists in this space—the only way he can physically interact with me.
"Oh, Nikki," I cry out. "Thank you! Thank you for staying by my side," I say as I search for the gathering of dust that represents the essence of my beloved.
The mist lights up twice. A yes.
Even knowing I can't touch him, I move closer to him, lifting my hand and swirling my fingers through the mist. It's cold to the touch, but also warm—a warmth that goes beyond physical temperature.
Another step, and I move closer, so close I'm almost one with him. Every particle of his shadowy body brushes against my corporeal one. Every atom of his being caresses my own. Icy wind skims my right cheek, and as I close my eyes, a sigh escapes me as I imagine it's his lips that lay a trail of arctic kisses that melt into my skin.
Seconds turn to minutes that seek to turn into an eternity as we succumb to this unorthodox embrace. All the yearning I'd buried deep within erupts to the surface, and I can feel the yearning in him too. It's right there, in the erratic flicker of light, the shift in temperature, and the storm of dust that swirls everywhere around me.
"I missed you," I murmur. "I missed you so much, Nikki. But don't you worry. I'll bring you back. I'll do everything in my power to make sure you come back to me."
The mist swirls around me, almost like a pat before stepping back. I want to protest at the sudden feeling of bereavement, but before I can voice that out loud, I'm reminded of what I had wanted to tell him from the beginning—as well as my own precarious circumstances away from the other siblings.
"Can you leave this place, Nikki? There's a dangerous demon that feeds on souls roaming around the theatre. If you stay here, you'll only be in danger, and I can't have you in danger," I tell him breathlessly. The mere thought of him being away after I just found him again causes me visceral pain. But this is for his good—for his safety. And that is the one thing I can't risk.
He doesn't answer me, nor does he flicker or emit any light. He's just...there.
"Please, Nikki—" My words are interrupted by a piercing sound coming from behind me. I swivel, my eyes wide as I search through the unyielding darkness.
"You need to go, Nikki. Now !" I tell him, this time more pronounced.
I step backward, my arm thrust back to find the metal stair. But I don't reach it when I feel another presence with me in the tunnel. The same foul smell as before lingers in the air, becoming more potent by the second. Loud, thudding steps echo before an inhuman howl physically thrusts me back.
Fear clogs my throat, but my thoughts are all centered on Nikki. Scanning the area the best I can, I manage to make out Nikki's shadowy self and the outline of the other entity present. My mind is blank as I jump up from my spot, placing myself in front of Nikki in one last attempt to protect him.
"Go, Nikki. I'll hold him back. Please leave," I beg him.
He gives me a shimmery signal to mean yes before the mist dissipates, in its place remaining only faint rays of light coming from up above.
I release a sigh of relief. At least he's safe...
The sound of wet lips smacking together brings me back to the present. Now that Nikki's gone, I need to find a way to get back to the dressing room too.
The pungent smell becomes stronger, to the point that I have to stop myself from bending over to retch. I swallow hard, taking one step back at a time so I don't set the demon off by any chance.
Another roar explodes in the tunnel, causing me to stumble and almost fall. Grabbing onto the wall, I quickly stabilize myself, only to feel a sticky hand grab me by the throat. In no time, my hands stop touching the ground as he lifts me in the air, his fingers tightening over my flesh.
He brings his snout to my face, sniffing me.
" Lora re ," he hisses in a strange tongue. His voice holds two layers. A broken, sinister one that is the most clear, but also a second layer that sounds like a choir of a thousand people.
His breath wafts directly into my face now, the smell so putrid I can barely breathe. This is the smell of rot, of decaying flesh that's been forgotten in the sun. The fact that I've seen and tended to dead bodies before at the hacienda is the only thing that's keeping me from casting my accounts in that very moment. That and the fact that with Nikki out of the way, my self-preservation makes its belated appearance.
"Let me go," I barely get the words out.
Fear grips me as I rack my brain for a way out. Remembering some of Thea's words, I bring my hands together, using my two forefingers to make the sign of the cross and pressing it into his gross face.
He lets out a roaring screech as he shoves me backward, his sharp claws scraping the sides of my neck in the process.
I whimper as I hit the ground. Wetness pours from my neck, flowing down my chest, making my dress stick to my skin.
The demon howls in pain momentarily before he stomps toward me, his steps making the foundation of the building quake.
My body shakes as I drag myself backward, hoping I'll bump into the staircase so I can haul myself up. But it's not long before he's on me.
I barely see him, but I feel his foul stench as he extends his claws toward me, gripping me by my bodice and pulling me toward him. I push at his hand in an attempt to get loose, but it's in vain. His force is so immense, he easily lifts me up again, my feet dangling in the air.
"Damn you," I force the words out as I lash out, hitting him with my fists. Although I get some blows on him, they do little else but enrage him.
Opening his mouth, he lets out a deafening roar that not only physically hurts my eardrums but also pollutes the air all around.
I can't even die with dignity, can I?
Yet just as I think he's going to swallow me up with that stinky orifice some might call a mouth, I drop to the ground.
Whaaat?
I draw in a ragged breath, my pulse becoming more and more erratic as I dread to imagine these are my last moments on this earth.
But before I can blink, the entire corridor comes alive, light infiltrating every particle.