Chapter Four
Freya
“Y ou’re a very capable witch, Freya,” Gloria said.
I snapped my mouth shut. That was not how I anticipated this conversation beginning. A small, smug grin tugged at Gloria’s plum-colored lips. She placed a hand on the broad curve of her hip. We stood under the gazebo, and shadows danced between us. As the night grew colder, I wanted to crawl into my cozy bed, but if Gloria wanted to talk, there was only one thing to do—listen.
“See?” she teased. “I can be kind. I am trying to be kind to you. I just…I can’t watch you throw your future away over a boy.”
I growled in frustration. “Because I kiss a boy, he’s going to ruin me? When did we become so prudish?”
“Kissing is fine,” Gloria snapped. “Letting him make a mess with his magic—the magic you helped give him—is not. You’re being blinded by your heart. How can you not recognize that after what we experienced?”
As flashes of the battle came back to me, tears burned my eyes. I refused to let them fall and swallowed the lump in my throat. When I was certain my voice would be steady, I spoke.
“I am not her.” I took a step closer to the Elder. “I am not Josephine.”
“No,” Gloria agreed. “You are not. Your experiment was a success, but it won’t be for long unless you get his magic under control. Don’t you see how he suffers? Don’t you see his deterioration?”
“If he’s so out of control,” I argued, “why hasn’t the High Witch come down to smite him?”
“Maybe she sees what I see,” Gloria spoke calmly. So goddessdamned calmly . “He’s already on the path to destroying himself.”
As Gloria put my worst fears into words, rage and despair warred inside me. I shoved both down with icy determination.
“What do you propose I do?” I asked. “Put him down?”
“You need to be prepared to do just that,” Gloria said, “if it’s what’s best for the coven.”
I ground my teeth.
“Why did you help me save him that night?” I asked.
Her feminine features softened, and she shook her head. “I’m not sure why. Something in my bones just told me to.”
Oddly, I understood. It hadn’t been mere desperation guiding my spell that night. Some greater force had pushed me to save Walker.
Saved, however, didn’t feel like the right word. Though I loathed to admit Gloria was right, the cowboy was drifting from himself. We could hide it in stolen kisses and pleasant distractions all we wanted, but the truth still boiled beneath the surface.
Walker was losing himself.
As I argued day in and day out to maintain my place as the future Coven Mother, he wasn’t the only one. Every day, new problems emerged. Some members of my coven were determined to use the battle as an excuse to attack the dark witches. Others were more concerned with the vampires. I worried one of them would strike against the other races on their own and yank my coven into a fight, whether the rest of us wanted it or not.
Though it was my job to ensure the safety and well-being of the coven, no one ever trusted me to do so. I wondered if they sensed how little I trusted myself.
I wondered if I would ever be coronated as Coven Mother after how I had saved Walker.
“What are you going to do?” Gloria asked.
Goddess, I was tired of that question.
“I don’t know how to help him,” I admitted. “I-I don’t know how to do any of this.”
Be a leader to the coven. Be a daughter who would make her mother proud. Be whatever the goddessdamned thing I am to Walker.
“To earn the coven’s respect,” Gloria said, “you must get your greatest liability under control—the boy. There’s a reason witches don’t fall in love, Freya. Men’s actions always fall on women’s shoulders. Now, you must make a choice—become strong enough to bear that weight or shed it entirely.”
???
“Darling,” an achingly familiar voice said. “You must wake.”
Clutching my white comforter, I shot up. I was in my new apartment’s bedroom. Moonlight lit cream walls and generic decorations. The sparse books on the shelf were in place, as were the lamps on my bedside table. Still, I trembled.
“Wait,” I whispered.
I wasn’t shaking.
The world was.
Everything in my room rattled. I waited for the earthquake to subside, but it only grew worse. Paintings fell off my walls, and glass shattered across the tiled floor. I lurched out of bed and half-crawled out of my room. It wasn’t safe to move during an earthquake, but instinct told me this wasn’t a natural phenomenon.
My magic flared to life. As I hurried through the living room of my apartment, I used wind to protect myself from falling light fixtures, books, and fans.
“Arion!” I called, but my familiar was nowhere to be seen.
Odd . He had rarely left my side since the Bloodmoon.
I finally reached the black door of my apartment, but when I attempted to open it, it wouldn’t budge. I blasted it with wind, but the door remained closed. Fear twisted my stomach into knots. I needed to take cover, but all I could think about was getting out, out, out.
“You can’t run.”
I spun around and found myself alone. No one sat on the plush, gray sofa or loomed by the quaint kitchen countertops. I didn’t need to see her anyway.
I knew that voice in my soul.
“Mom?” I asked. “What’s going on?”
“You can’t run, darling,” she said. “You must see what falls. You must know what still stands.”
I groaned. “What does that mean? Why can’t I see you?”
Before she could answer, something sharp hit my head, and everything went black.
Once again, I lurched upright in my bed. I checked the room for tremors, but everything was quiet and still, except for my heart. It fluttered like a hummingbird’s wings in my heaving chest. Arion lay at my feet with his eyes closed. His breaths were steady from sleep.
A nightmare, I thought. It was just a nightmare.
I stared at the ceiling until dawn’s light drifted through the curtains.
???
Walker
As I drove down the familiar winding road to Nathan’s ranch, I couldn’t keep the comparisons of then and now at bay. Last time I had been there, I had been too ignorant to recognize the red-haired witch who hunted me.
Now, I was one of her kind.
I sighed.
I didn’t want to do this. Unfortunately, life had a way of kicking my ass whether I liked it or not.
Flower Valley Range. I drove under the towering sign and onto Nathan’s gravel driveway. The entryway had seen better days. The y rattled in the breeze, but it had for months. I had always worried it would fall on my truck one day, but it was a stubborn bastard, much like the ranch’s owner. After how I had bailed on him, Nathan would probably call the sheriff if he knew I was on his property, but Sawyer and Brody had assured me he was out of town at an auction.
Cattle milled left and right. I envied their peaceful grazing. With summer on the horizon, the trees’ leaves were vividly green, and the grass was plush. As I drove, I instinctively checked that the huge rubber water troughs were full.
“Old habits die hard,” I muttered to myself.
I descended the hill, and the main barn came into view. The sun reflected off the expansive metal roof. The white paint was chipped by the windows, where horses leaned their heads out of their stalls. The green and white sliding door was open, revealing snippets of black mats and dusty wooden walls. Brody’s white pick-up was parked out front.
Good, I thought. Let’s get this over with.
With a deep breath, I climbed out of my truck and was immediately hit with the scent of horses, cattle, and shit. Homesickness panged my chest. A familiar croak of a whinny only worsened it.
Jesse.
I hadn’t seen my horse in three months. It was the longest we’d been apart since I had bought him four years ago. I forced myself to climb the hill to the barn. As I reached it, Brody and Sawyer greeted me.
“Look who dragged his sorry ass back to town,” Sawyer quipped with a grin.
He wore his usual work jeans, coat, and stained white hat over his mess of dark hair. As he pulled me into a one-armed hug, his spurs clinked. Brody stood behind him with a beer in his hand. He hugged me next but slapped my back extra hard.
“Don’t disappear on us again, okay?” he said.
I nodded because I couldn’t bring myself to speak. I wasn’t sure I could keep that promise. As Brody pulled away, I studied my red-haired friend. He was a touch sunburned, as per usual, and worry furrowed his brow. Otherwise, he looked healthy.
Maybe it would make this easier.
“Good to see you guys,” I said and accepted the beer Sawyer offered me. I took a long swig of it before I spoke again. “Brody, I have a favor to ask you. Feel free to tell me no.”
“I always feel free to do that,” he joked, “in case you haven’t noticed, you’re not exactly the boss around here.”
I laughed. “That’s right. Congrats on the promotion. Being cow boss is a pretty big deal.”
I would know. Everyone thought the promotion would be mine before…well, everything.
Brody smiled awkwardly. Unlike Sawyer, he had never been comfortable with praise.
“Anyway,” I continued, “I know I’ve asked you to take care of Jesse for me these past few months, but I need to you to help me in a more—” I cleared my throat, “in a more permanent way.”
Brody stared at me in confusion. He was still staring when Sawyer erupted.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Sawyer snapped. He paced the barn aisle. “You disappear for months with no explanation, and now you’re asking Brody to take the horse you care about more than either of us? How are you gonna work cattle without a damn horse, Walker?”
In. Out.
I maintained steady breaths and reminded myself what was on the line here. Exposing my magic to witches was one thing. I couldn’t let it run wild in front of my human friends. It was half the reason I was here. This little test was Gloria’s idea of proving to me and to everyone that I could control myself.
If I failed, I wasn’t the only one who would bear the consequences. Freya could very well lose her chance at being Coven Mother.
If Brody and Sawyer noticed the slight flickering of the overhead lights, they said nothing, but some of the horses shifted uneasily in their stalls. I didn’t let myself look down the aisle to check on the chestnut who continued to nicker.
If I did, my nerve would go out the window.
“Guys,” I said, “I’m out of the cowboying business. It’s like I told you over the phone. Cady got into that special school, and I found a job that’ll make it easier to afford. Maybe someday, I’ll get back to this.”
From their expressions, they both suspected there was more to the story, but they didn’t argue with me. They knew me well enough to know that if this was all I wanted to say about it, I wouldn’t budge.
“I’m not selling your damn horse,” Brody finally huffed. “He’s too good. I’ll just keep using him myself. Lenny’s getting too old to keep up with the job day in and day out anyway.”
Relief and heartache warred inside me. I had hoped he wouldn’t actually sell my horse, but keeping Jesse around meant having a constant temptation to check on him. In reality, my power was far too out of control to be anything but a detriment to the people and animals here.
“I get it,” Sawyer admitted, “but I’ll only forgive you for leaving us behind if you get drunk with us to lament the death of your career.”
I chuckled and clinked his bottle. Sawyer didn’t know how on the mark he was, but it had been more than just my career that died.
For the first time in a long time, however, that death didn’t scare me quite as badly. Here I was, having a drink with my buddies like the old days. I had even gotten upset without electrocuting anyone.
Small victories are still victories.
I finally let my gaze drift down the aisle to my favorite grumpy gelding. I could practically feel the accusation in his big, brown-eyed stare. As Brody and Sawyer chatted, I approached my horse, and, of course, he tried to bite me. As his open mouth lunged over the door of his stall, I didn’t flinch. Just before his teeth met my flesh, his mouth closed, and his lips nipped the sleeve of my Carhartt jacket.
“You and your scare tactics,” I murmured and patted Jesse’s neck. “Some things never change, huh, boy?”
Brody had taken good care of him. His back right leg wasn’t puffy like it sometimes was after a hard day. His long, orange mane was free of burrs and stickers. His unique disposition was the same. All of this chafed me and relieved me. No matter how selfish it made me, I wanted him to need me. I wanted any excuse not to give him up.
As sorrow squeezed my heart, heat crept into my veins. Jesse warily backed away from me, and I took a deep breath. I wouldn’t let myself scare my own horse.
When I know this is under control, I silently promised Jesse, I’ll come back for you.
“So,” I said and turned to my friends. “How’s Laney?”
While Sawyer frowned in confusion, Brody bit back laughter.
“Who?” Sawyer asked.
Some things really don’t change.
From there, things actually felt normal. Brody and I ganged up on Sawyer. Sawyer showed no signs of shame over the endless cycle of women he called his love life. We laughed about all the times Nathan had lost his shit on us, and they told me just how mad the old bastard was when I ditched him. I couldn’t help but smile a little at that, mostly because I knew even if he had understood the life-altering reasons behind my absence, Nathan would’ve still been pissed.
Hours passed like minutes. Until I sensed a familiar, magical presence, I was completely emersed in my friends.
Over the weeks, I had gotten better at sensing magic, but Freya’s was always a beacon to me. Like an ember in the wind, I recognized her. Her magic crackled the air and filled my chest with pleasant warmth. In her signature jewelry and leather jacket, Freya breezed through the barn’s door. My breath caught.
She was so damn beautiful.
She offered me a small smile, and I grinned in return. I hadn’t seen her since last night, and I had missed her. If my friends knew how pathetic I had become, the heckling would’ve never stopped, but I couldn’t deny the truth.
As I pulled myself out of my reverie, I realized Sawyer and Brody were silent. I was struck by the truth. Freya wore her own face instead of the glamour she usually used in front of humans.
Had she forgotten, or had she wanted to meet my friends as herself?
Freya cleared her throat and waved at me. “Hello, Walker. Just wanted to…swing by.”
Does Freya actually sound shy ?
“Freya,” I greeted and crossed the short distance that separated us. “I placed my hand on the small of her back. “This is Brody and Sawyer.”
Freya shook Brody’s hand. When she tried to shake Sawyer’s, he instead lifted it to his lips, grinned, and placed a delicate kiss there. My magic jerked inside me, and the barn lights flickered. I gritted my teeth and forced it to subside with steady breaths.
Freya glared at me but quickly flashed my friends another smile before they noticed.
“Damn,” Sawyer said, “I take back all the shit I gave you, Walk. If this is what happens when you give up cowboy shit, sign me up.”
Your magic is not your emotions, I reminded myself and draped my arm across Freya’s shoulders.
She arched a brow at me but leaned into my touch. Though Sawyer was clearly trying to get a rise out of me, I couldn’t stifle my caveman urges. I wanted his lustful stare off Freya.
Mine, my body and my magic screamed.
Ridiculous.
“I wouldn’t quit your day job,” Freya told Sawyer with a deadly smile.
Brody bellowed, and, to my utter shock, Sawyer’s cheeks turned red, and I squeezed Freya’s arm. She was magical with or without casting spells.
A truck roared, and my stomach dropped. I knew that obnoxiously loud engine. Brody and Sawyer swapped curses.
“You told me he was out of town,” I said and gritted my teeth.
“He was,” Brody assured me. “Damnit, he should’ve been gone for the next couple days!”
“Your old boss?” Freya asked. I nodded, and she scrunched her nose. “I never cared for him.”
“Yeah?” I said. “Me neither, sweetheart.”
She rolled her shoulders back, and I reluctantly released her. Freya had allowed my testosterone-fueled instincts to take over for a bit, but I knew her well enough to know she liked to face her enemies on her own two feet.
After how I had left him high and dry, Nathan was certainly an enemy. I considered trying to escape him, but he would probably chase my ass down. He undoubtedly recognized my truck. Besides, I had faced off a batshit-crazy witch.
I could deal with Nathan.
As I heard his door slam, however, childhood fears crept in. Nathan was an expert in making me feel two feet tall. As his tall, broad body came into view, those old fears dissipated. When I was a kid, Nathan’s huge stature intimidated me. Now, all I sensed was his lack of magic. His wrinkled face was doubly lined with rage, yet no hum filled the air. No energy crackled on my skin except my own and Freya’s.
He was so painfully human.
“What the hell,” Nathan grumbled to Sawyer and Brody, “is that doing on my property? When I agreed to let you keep his damned horse, I said you could only do so on the condition that it contributed to the ranch, and its damn owner would never set foot here again!”
“Jesse’s the nicest animal on your property,” I argued, “other than the other horses my friends have provided you.”
Nathan fixed his watery-eyed gaze on me. “You’re right. He’d make a hell of a lot of money at a sale.”
He’s bluffing, I thought. He doesn’t have the paperwork or the means to actually do it. Besides, a free horse is a free horse.
Despite my self-assurances, rage bubbled under my skin, and the heat of my magic strengthened it. The barn lights flickered, and Freya squeezed my hand.
Separate, I thought, your magic and your emotions are separate.
Without another word, I led Freya past Nathan. I wanted to check on Jesse one last time, but with my magic on the fritz, I wouldn’t bring him comfort.
I would only make him afraid.
The mere thought was enough to quicken my steps. I had screwed up plenty over the last three months, but I would not screw up my horse. Nathan tried to get in my way, but I checked him with my shoulder as I passed—meaning to knock him back a step or two—and he was splayed flat on his ass. Liquor wafted in the air.
“Seriously?” I said. “You drove drunk?”
Nathan really was a careless ass. As he flailed on the ground, I stepped around him and tried to quiet my burning, racing heart.
I have to get out of here.
Soon, Freya and I were out of the barn and back under the night sky, but heavy-leaden footsteps crunched behind us.
“That’s right!” Nathan called. “Get out of here!”
Beside me, something clattered, and Freya gasped. As a bucket fell to the ground behind Freya, red colored my vision. My friends cursed.
I stopped in my tracks and faced Nathan. Brody and Sawyer held him back.
“Did you,” I said in a low, unrecognizable voice, “ hit her?”
“Walker,” Freya warned and jerked on my hand. “I’m fine. Let’s go.”
As energy crackled across my skin, I gently pried myself free from her grip.
“Well,” Nathan spat. “I meant to hit you.”
Thanks to my father, I recognized drunken belligerence when I saw it. That didn’t ease the storm that raged inside me. Thunder boomed overhead.
“Apologize,” I demanded.
“I don’t care to hear this moron’s apology,” Freya whispered in a rush. “Let’s go —”
Nathan swayed in my friends’ grasps.
“I think you should leave, Walker,” Sawyer said.
“I’m not sorry,” Nathan bellowed. “You and your slut are trespassing!”
Down the hill, lightning struck a tree, and inside the barn, horses whinnied. My anger only grew hotter. I had wanted to leave without damaging anything. I hadn’t wanted to scare anybody. He had brought us to this point.
A distant, quiet part of me knew that wasn’t true, but I silenced it and studied Nathan.
Despite all his bluster, the rancher was scared. I could practically feel his heart racing from where I stood. His mouth was agape, and he stared at me as if I wasn’t human. I wondered if I had looked so afraid when I first met Freya.
“Cowboy,” Freya whispered. “Your skin.”
I glanced down at myself. Blue currents of electricity raced across my body and my hands. Gasps echoed my surprise. Brody and Sawyer stared at me from the barn with open mouths.
Horror marred their faces.
Curses raced through my mind, but one word rang louder than all of them.
No.
I broke the only law we had yet to break.
I exposed magic to humans.