Chapter Forty-Nine Ayleth
Chapter Forty-Nine
Ayleth
The smell of juniper wakes me.
At first, I’m convinced I’m dreaming. But when I stretch my body, my limbs collide with solid warmth. My eyes fly open, breath catching at the sight of the shape beside me. Gingerly, I use one crooked finger to tug down the heavy coverlet, revealing Jacquetta’s sleeping face.
Memories of last night flood my mind. The crush of Jacquetta’s mouth on mine.
Her skin like warm silk beneath my hands.
The way we’d rushed at each other, practically devoured each other.
As if she can feel my attention, the other witch stirs.
Her blue eyes flutter open and for a heartbeat, I see every emotion that lit through my own body reflected inside them: shock and disbelief and something that might be… more.
“Oh,” is all she says.
“Yes,” I say. “Oh.”
Jacquetta starts to sit up, exposing the plane of her chest. I remember what that area tasted like and fresh heat floods my veins. A thousand questions war in my mind: What is she thinking? What did last night mean? What do I want it to mean?
“Well,” Jacquetta says, drawing the bedclothes up around herself. “This is one place I never imagined I’d be again.”
“Do you regret it?” I ask.
A beat passes. She holds my gaze.
“No,” she replies. “You?”
I hesitate. The voice inside me is still there, insisting that this was a mistake. That I’m falling right back into the same traps that nearly killed me before. But what about the traps I’ve laid for myself? What has the crown I won really given me? Not her.
“No,” I whisper.
Jacquetta threads her fingers through mine and I revel in how natural it feels, unsure why we ever fought against it. But then she frowns.
“What is it?” I ask.
“It’s just strange to see you without the shadows,” she says. “I didn’t notice it as much before, but now…there’s something missing about you.”
Until this moment, I was quite content to forget about the events of the last day.
Now they’re staring me in the face. Behind my sternum, the dregs of my power stir.
Malum is still there, but impossibly weak.
The same as it was before Shade and the others swore themselves to my service.
But after the events of the Sanctum, it’s clear that the shadows—like my former Huntsman—have abandoned me. And their absence is crippling.
“I understand now,” I say to Jacquetta, finding it difficult to look at her. “What you said about losing your power. It’s…like a whole part of me has simply…vanished.”
“Yes,” she replies quietly. “That’s exactly what it’s like.”
Guilt winds between my bones. This time, I cannot shove it away. Cannot rationalize it. Because I’d done this to her. I wanted her, and every other witch, to experience this pain.
“I suppose it’s what I deserve,” I go on. “After spending these past years taking witches’ power. Now I’m without mine.”
“No one deserves to be without power, Ayleth,” she says.
It’s more kindness than she owes me.
“Well, I don’t have time to wallow in it now,” I reply. “Two armies are about to bear down on the palace. Not to mention the creature—and Shade, since he’s serving her.”
Jacquetta turns over on her side and props herself up on one elbow. “I still don’t understand. If Margaret or the witches didn’t summon her, what is she doing here? And what does she really want?”
All I can do is shrug, hopeless.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” I reply. “But I have to assume Blodwyn is still part of it. I should wake Callen. See if he’s had any luck.”
I start to kick my way out of the bedclothes.
Jacquetta makes a face. “When all this is over, can I shatter him?”
I laugh. “Sometimes, I’d like nothing more. But he has his uses.”
She snorts, dubious. “What made you think to bind him to the mirror, anyway?”
“Honestly, it just occurred to me in the moment.” I pick up my shift and tug it over my head. “And I decided that watching me rule in his place would be a fitting fate for him.”
“Yes, I’m sure he was thrilled about that,” she says. But then, “So there was nothing…else?”
“What do you mean?”
Jacquetta hesitates, picking at the coverlet. “When I learned that you married him, I didn’t want to believe it was real. But part of me always wondered if there was something between you. And then after what you said in the dungeons…”
I prefer him over you, the words come back to me.
“No,” I say at once, my skin crawling at the idea of engaging in anything resembling romance with Callen. “Not ever. I only said that because…well…”
Heat flames in my face. But Jacquetta nods.
“It’s all right,” she replies. “You’re not the only one who said things you regret.”
I thought you died, she’d hurled at me. I wished you had.
The words still sting. But I shove that down. There’s no point in dwelling on them now. And a question of my own creeps up from the depths of my mind. One I’ve been too afraid to ask.
“And you? Is there…someone?”
“Who, like Sindony?” she asks wryly.
I huff a laugh. Those two would throttle each other if left in the same room for more than five minutes. But Jacquetta hasn’t really answered the question. I arch an eyebrow, waiting.
“There were a few,” she admits. “But nothing that ever meant anything. Nothing like…”
Us. The word sends a shiver through me.
“You said when all this is over,” I start, hesitant. “What does that look like?”
“Well, after I take a mallet to that mirror,” Jacquetta says, throwing me a smirk. “I’m not sure. I suppose we’ll have to cross that bridge when we come to it.”
What could possibly be on the other side? Heartbreak? Probably. But what if it’s not? What if, after all this time, we could finally begin again? From the look on Jacquetta’s face, I think she might be wondering, perhaps even hoping, the same thing.
A knock on the door startles me.
“Your Majesty,” a servant’s voice calls. “You’re needed in the council chamber. They said it’s urgent.”
I groan. “That will probably be Margaret demanding to be released.”
Even imprisoned, the duchess manages to spoil everything.
“I’d better go deal with this,” I say to Jacquetta.
She nods. Reaches for me. “I’ll be here.”
And I may not know what’s coming next, but I know that my hand in hers is the only thing I’ve ever wanted. I don’t resist the urge to lean into her. Our lips meet and she tastes of roses—and of me.
For the first time in a long time, I do not hear that voice at all.
—
Parnell is already waiting for me when I emerge from my chambers. It’s early enough in the morning that the halls are empty as we make our way to the council chamber, our footsteps echoing in the stillness.
“Apologies for the disturbance, Your Majesty,” he says, inclining his chin. “But this is a most pressing matter.”
“About the duchess?” I ask. “She’s staying in her rooms no matter what she claims.”
“Not her, Majesty,” Parnell replies. “And we should wait to discuss more until we reach the others.”
“Fine,” I say, though I wonder what could be so important as to demand such discretion. “Have you heard anything about Blodwyn?”
“The princess is still missing,” Parnell tells me. “But we have doubled the search party.”
“Double it again,” I say. “I want her found. Today.”
Before the lost princess reaches her.
“Your Majesty!” Weston rounds a corner and falls into step with us. “You’re looking well this morning. But I suppose you should be.”
I hold in a groan, having no patience for his antics.
“Whatever you need will have to wait,” I say, quickening our pace in the hopes that he’ll wander off. “There’s a council meeting.”
“Yes, I know,” he says, grinning. “I’m invited.”
I frown. I certainly didn’t request his presence.
“There will simply be masses of parties to plan,” he goes on. “And I’m sure you’re thrilled to celebrate the good news.”
Good news? I start to ask Parnell what Weston means, but we’ve already reached the council chamber. Power or not, I sense the restless energy emanating from inside. I step through the doors and every muscle in my body freezes.
Someone is sitting at the head of the table. In my seat. A pair of gray eyes meets mine and that place behind my left ribs throbs.
“Hello, wife.”