Chapter 14
Rowan had rehearsed the words three times before she left the flat.
She walked up Hyndland Road as the sun glinted off the windows of the tenements.
Before she’d left the flat, she’d done something she hadn’t done since the early days of her training under Jean.
She’d pulled a veil around herself. Not the Veil.
Her own. A tight, deliberate shield drawn close to her skin, holding her energy inward so that nothing leaked outward.
No signal. No mingling. If she was going to sit across from Callum Ross, she was going to do it clean.
She had a steely determination. She knew exactly what she was going to say to him. She knew exactly how to end it.
That determination faded the moment she saw him.
He was sitting outside Caffè Parma in a white t-shirt and black jeans, running his finger around the rim of his coffee cup, watching the street without really seeing it. The morning light caught the tattoos on his forearms.
Oh, shit. This is going to be difficult.
No, it’s not going to be difficult. She thought back to the faces of Elspeth and the others. Two or three weeks and I’ll be totally over this.
She walked up to him. “Hi, Callum.”
He stood up immediately and smiled. “Rowan.”
“Coffee?”
“Americano. Yes, please.”
He caught the eye of the waitress, who came over straight away. “Large Americano, please,” he said, and she nodded and disappeared inside.
He held out his hand, reaching for hers.
Rowan pulled away. Not immediately. But she pulled away, and felt terrible for doing it.
You have to do this.
“What’s wrong?” Callum asked, frowning, looking straight into her eyes.
“We can’t do this, Callum.”
“Can’t do what? Nothing’s even started.”
“But you know it has,” Rowan said. “Nothing has to be exchanged between us before something starts. It started the minute we met. And I have to stop it now.”
“I don’t get it. What’s happened?”
“There are certain things you don’t know, Callum. And you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
She held his gaze. “It shouldn’t come from me.
But I’m not going to be able to talk to you.
I’m not going to be able to see you. I’m not going to be able to do anything with you from now on.
And I just came up to tell you that face to face.
I didn’t want to lie to you.” She paused.
“And it’s nothing to do with my feelings.
It’s to do with the danger you’d put yourself in.
And myself in. And a lot of other people. ”
His eyes scrunched up. He couldn’t get it at all. And why would he? How do you explain to somebody that they’re from another world, literally, and that they shouldn’t be in this world? How the hell do you explain that?
“You’re not making any sense, Rowan.” He folded his arms and sat back in his chair.
After a few seconds’ silence, he sat forward again. “I literally felt the air crackle around us. I don’t mean metaphorically. I mean I literally felt it. And you felt it too.”
“Callum, that was a consequence of us kissing.”
“A consequence? How is kissing somebody a consequence of anything?”
“That’s a question for your mother to answer.”
“My mother? What the hell’s my mother got to do with this?”
Rowan was interrupted when the waitress arrived with her coffee.
“Thank you,” Callum said. The girl nodded and walked away.
“This is about where you came from,” Rowan said. “This is about the reasons you can’t go back in your family tree any further than your grandfather. And this is something I can’t tell you. It’s not my place. But it is your mother’s place to tell you.”
“Okay, then tell me what happened the other night when we kissed. What was the crackling? You must know about that.”
“I do know. But I can’t tell you. Not until you have more information. You wouldn’t understand what I was about to say to you, and you’d think I was absolutely nuts.” She softened her voice. “But you do deserve to know the truth. The whole truth. And you have to insist that your mother tells you.”
“But why? How does my mother know?”
“Think about the other times you’ve asked her about the symbol on the candle holder. Why did she get so defensive about a symbol?”
“I don’t know. I tried to ask her?—”
“Exactly. You tried to ask her, Callum. And she’s not telling you for a reason.”
“So, what is it with the symbol?”
Rowan paused. She thought carefully about her next words.
“The symbol is from another world.”
Callum started laughing. “What do you mean, the symbol is from another world?” he said, chortling.
“Exactly. That’s the reaction I’d get if I told you anything else.”
She stood up. “It was great meeting you, Callum. I’m going to have to go. Thank you for the coffee.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t decide something like this for me without telling me why.”
He went to grab her arm. She pulled it away before he touched her.
“Rowan,” he said.
She turned around. She could feel the tears forming behind her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.
She didn’t look back. She knew if she did, she wouldn’t leave.
As she walked away, she heard him say “Mum, it's me. I need to talk to you. Now.”
She walked back down Hyndland Road, past the church, past the parked cars catching the midday sun, and down Clarence Drive to the shop.
When she got there, she closed the door and put her back against it, hoping he hadn’t followed her. It had been hard enough.
Janet was only in until one o’clock, so she could make small talk with customers and keep her face on for a short time, and then she’d be by herself. Which she was glad of. And that was exactly what she did. She smiled at customers. She was cheery with Janet. She said all the right things.
But, in the back of her mind, Callum was still sitting at Caffè Parma, wondering what the hell had just happened.
After Janet left, the shop was quiet. Rowan sat behind the counter reconciling her books on the laptop, the afternoon light slanting low through the front window.
The shop bell rang.
She looked up momentarily, then looked back down at the screen.
Then she realised who it was.
Callum’s mother.
“What the hell did you tell my son?”
Rowan took a deep breath. “The truth.”
“You didn’t tell him the truth. You told him a partial truth and left me to tell him the rest.”
“And did you tell him?”
The woman shifted her weight onto one leg and looked down at the counter. “No. Not all of it.”
“You need to tell him.”
“Why? Why do I need to tell him?”
“Because it’s dangerous for him not to know.”
“I’ve spent thirty-two years protecting him from the truth,” Mary said. “And you come along and ruin all that in the space of a week.”
Rowan almost laughed. “You spent thirty-two years hiding the truth from him. And as a consequence, this has happened.”
“We’ve lived with this longer than you realise,” Mary said, “And what exactly did happen?”
“That’s just it. Hardly anything. And the consequence has already been this.”
“Are you talking about the Veil?” Mary said, looking straight into her eyes.
“Yes, I am. It’s thinning. Purely because of me and Callum.”
“What exactly have you been told would happen,” Mary said slowly, “if a witch – which I presume you are – and a Veil Walker, as they call us, gets together?”
Rowan frowned. What have I been told? she thought. What does she mean by that?
“Why don’t you tell me what would happen?” Rowan said.
“That’s not my place to tell you,” Mary said. “You’ve started something you don’t understand.”
And at that, Mary turned and walked out of the shop, leaving the echo of the bell ringing around the room.