Chapter 15 Hannah
Hannah
Total surrender?
I can’t do this. I can’t make myself that vulnerable for someone, least of all Julia.
Panic claws up my throat, suffocating me.
What did she do to make Rebecca exact such complicated revenge? Am I teetering on the edge of death with every second I spend with her?
“I—I need to think,” I stammer.
I bolt for the door, my feet carrying me into the cold October night before my brain catches up. The wind bites my bare arms and shoulders as I stumble down Elizabeth’s stone steps and into the darkness beyond the manicured gardens.
I want to run to the road and hitchhike somewhere, anywhere, and pretend none of this happened. But the binding spell tugs hard at my chest—this magic leash that won’t let me stray too far from my personal monster.
I grit my teeth to keep from grunting in pain. Fighting the pull with every step, I reach a dense forest beside Elizabeth’s property. Evergreens scrape my arms and legs as if trying to help the spell drag me back, but I keep going.
When the pain becomes blinding, I lean against a tree, clutching my chest. Every cell in my body is screaming for me to go back to the house to ease this agony. I wheeze each breath, refusing to give in.
Julia hasn’t followed. Why would she? She knows I can’t escape. I’m trapped in her orbit like a satellite, destined to either burn up on reentry or slowly freeze in the darkness.
My heart stumbles, like it’s struggling to stay beating.
“Dammit,” I hiss.
I take three careful steps closer to Elizabeth’s mansion, which is just a faint glow peeking through gaps in the trees. My heart beats a little easier, so I stop, breathing through the agony.
Branches creak. Dying leaves rustle. Somewhere, a critter chirps, making me flinch.
Sweat prickles my hairline, but the night is biting. I shiver, still in my freaking camisole and leggings.
An oak tree sprawls beside me, its branches stretching out to offer a place to sit. I brace against it, feeling the rough bark and soft moss under my clammy palms as I ease down onto a thick branch.
Knowing Julia must be experiencing the same pain makes it easier to stay put. She deserves this. I don’t know why Rebecca did this to her, but in this moment, I hate her as much as Rebecca does for putting me through this torture.
“Hannah!”
Riley’s voice.
Her silhouette appears through the trunks, chasing after me, her dark curls wild in the wind. Part of me wants to stand and keep running, but my traitorous heart still skips a beat at the sight of her.
She stops a stride away, out of breath. The moonlight catches the tears on her cheeks, making them look like silver scars.
“I need you to understand,” she says between breaths.
“Understand what? How you lied to me for two years? How you gave me a curse and then abandoned me to deal with the consequences?”
“I only found out I was a witch three weeks ago.” Her voice is strong. “One day, I was normal, and the next, I was setting things on fire. Hurting myself. I nearly burned the whole house down in my sleep.”
That explains the marks on her arms.
I can feel the unnatural heat radiating from her, and when I look into her eyes, there’s a tinge that wasn’t there before. Red-gold, like a phoenix.
“Magic doesn’t always manifest,” Riley continues.
“My mom isn’t a witch, and neither was my grandma.
I’m the first since Rebecca to have power, and she showed up at my door like she’d been waiting for it.
She took me to Elizabeth’s to teach me how to control it before I—” Her voice breaks, and she draws a shaky breath. “Before I hurt the people I love.”
I swallow hard. “You could have told me.”
She steps closer, and her familiar lilac scent envelops me. At least that hasn’t changed. “And say what, Han? Turns out I’m a witch and I have to leave you to join a coven and learn how to control my powers?”
I scowl at the sarcasm. “Why did you give me that journal?”
In the faint moonlight, her expression crumbles.
She comes to sit beside me on the big oak branch, close enough that I can feel her body heat.
“I didn’t understand what it was. I just knew it was an heirloom I was supposed to keep safe, and I wanted you to have something meaningful.
I thought it was romantic to give you poems written in a book that had been in my family for over a century. ”
I blow out a breath, my anger deflating. “And I burned it.”
“That’s my fault. I hurt you.”
I grimace, remembering the bonfire and the bitter satisfaction of watching our memories turn to ash. “And I…might have acted melodramatically.”
She cracks a small smile, which I can’t help returning. For a moment, we’re just us again—two girls who fell in love over a hot summer, who spent our mornings tangled in bedsheets, who planned a future that will never exist.
But reality crashes back as tears spill down her cheeks. “Now you’re caught in a war between ancient witches, and it’s my fault. I never meant for this to happen. If I hadn’t given you that journal—”
“You didn’t know it was cursed,” I say automatically. It sounds like forgiveness, but I don’t know why I said it. I don’t forgive her.
Riley reaches over and places her hand on my knee. Her touch is warm and gentle. “I’ve missed you like crazy. I’ve wanted to call you and explain everything.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I couldn’t. This is bigger than us, bigger than what I wanted. Rebecca made that very clear.”
“So you chose them over me.”
“I chose keeping you safe over being with you. I can’t be with someone who isn’t a witch.” Her hand closes over mine, and I let her take it despite my anger. “I still love you, Hannah.”
The words I’ve been desperate to hear feel hollow. “Love doesn’t matter when we can’t be together.”
“I know.” She leans closer, her free hand coming up to cup my cheek. “But I want you to know how I feel.”
I meet her eyes. She’s so beautiful it hurts.
Her presence is so comforting and familiar that it’s like putting on my favorite pajamas after an excruciatingly long day.
But there’s a deep pain behind my ribs, like she took my whole heart with her when she left, and now she’s here trying to stuff it back into place.
“Riley,” I whisper, not sure what to say or how I even feel.
She makes a small, soft noise.
I bite my lip, studying the familiar features of her perfect face. Her eyes, her nose, her lips.
She leans in.
I don’t pull away.
I’ve missed her too much to say no. And I need the comfort of her lips on mine right now.
So I lean in to meet her.
Her lips taste like peppermint tea and simpler times. I sigh into her mouth and melt into her, wishing we could go back to normal. Her soft hands brush over my bruises and scrapes, gently and reverently. It’s the sort of caress Julia has never offered—healing instead of bruising.
Can I pretend Julia never happened? Can I forget her taste, her magic, the way it feels when she touches my skin?
Something twists in my chest. Her dark eyes and predatory smile flash across my mind’s eye. And suddenly Riley’s kiss feels too soft, too sweet—nothing compared to the way Julia kissed me like she wanted to devour my soul.
Why do I want that? Shouldn’t I want Riley’s gentleness instead? I’m not supposed to want the monster over the sweet girl who’s here making sure I’m okay.
But Julia is all I can picture. Her hands and mouth are all I want. As terrifying as that is, it’s the truth.
I pull away and stand up, breathless and dizzy. “I can’t do this.”
Riley stands too, stepping in to cup my cheeks tenderly. “I don’t expect you to forgive me right away—”
“This isn’t about forgiveness.” I step back, wrapping my arms around myself. “There’s a literal magic spell connecting me to someone else.”
“That spell isn’t love, Hannah. It’s supernatural dependency.” Her tone is surprisingly sharp.
“And what we had?” I snap back. “Was that real, or were you playing a part?”
“It was real. It still is.”
“Then why does it feel like I never knew you at all?”
Riley’s face falls. “Because I was trying to protect you from this world. From witches like—” She stops herself, but I know what she was going to say.
“Witches like Julia?”
“She’s dangerous, Han. Whatever you think you feel for her, it’s not real. Sanguine witches feed on more than just life force. They feed on desire. She’s probably already started changing you, making you want things you wouldn’t normally want.”
The truth of it hits like cold water. Have I been corrupted? Is my attraction to Julia just another symptom of her influence?
It’s possible. Probable, even. What else would explain how much I want her to mark me up, to claim me and feed on me until I’m gasping for breath?
Riley’s warnings should terrify me. Logically, I know that.
But Julia is the most powerful person I’ve ever met, and when she looks at me like I belong to her, I’ve never felt more alive. I want to know more about who she is, and I want to do more than kiss her.
“I need time to figure this out,” I say. “This is all a lot to process.”
Riley nods, though disappointment is written across her features. “Be careful with her, Hannah.”
I nod firmly and say nothing more. She hesitates, then takes her cue, leaving me alone with her warning lingering in the air.
But even knowing how dangerous Julia is, even with terror coursing through my veins, I can’t help my attraction to her. Watching her exert power over other people, making men and other witches fear her, is more exhilarating than anything.
Moments after Riley’s footsteps disappear beneath the rustling leaves, the binding spell eases its grip suddenly, loosening in my chest.
My breath catches. Julia must be coming closer.
I should back away. Keep this distance between us. Anything but stand here waiting for her like prey that’s already accepted its fate.
But I’m tired of protecting myself behind walls that only leave me more alone. I was determined never to be vulnerable again after Riley left, and where did that get me? Bound to an ancient witch by magic I don’t understand, caught between a woman who lied to protect me and one who might kill me.
I have to surrender.
There are probably several ways to interpret the word, but only one keeps circling my mind like a moth to flame.
If that’s what it takes to be free, then I’ll do it. It’s the only way I can be free of magic, free from Julia, free to return to my safe, ordinary world where monsters don’t exist and ancient witches don’t kiss you like they’re trying to steal your soul.
That’s what I tell myself, anyway.
But the truth pulses hot beneath the lie: I want this.
I want her hands on me, her mouth claiming mine, the intimacy of giving her everything under the full moon.
Freedom is the excuse I’m using to justify doing what I’ve wanted since she first touched me.
Maybe I’m surrendering to break the spell, or maybe I’m surrendering because some reckless part of me wants to be hers, even if it’s just for tonight.
When Julia emerges from the shadows between trees, moving with that effortless grace that makes my pulse skip, I don’t back away or tell her to leave.
I’ve been running from the truth all night.
The binding spell might have brought us together, but this ache low in my belly and the way my heart races when she looks at me is all me.
So, I’ll surrender. This is how I take control over an uncontrollable situation, and if I stop lying to myself, this is what I want more than anything.