Chapter Eighty-Three
Warm lips met the space between my shoulder and my neck, tingles erupting across my skin at the connection regardless of how small it was. The tightness in my chest had lifted, an odd sense of relief settling inside of me now that I had spoken the words out loud.
Nathaniel was right—I was worth more, but I would never truly believe it unless I chose to believe it.
Strength was one thing that I had always prided myself on, it having been the reason I was able to survive for as long as I had, but my pride did not always have to work against me. I could accept help, accept praise, accept my own worth.
"That is right, my love," Nathaniel's voice was steeled, but tender, "And I am proud of you not only for saying that out loud, but for believing it.
I have always known it to be true—since the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew that you were exceptionally special, you had just never been given the chance to see how special you truly were.
And I am not saying that because you are my mate, I say that because it is true.
You are a talented seamstress, you are funny and clever, you are kind and thoughtful—of all of the creatures to ever live, you are surely the most beautiful. "
Nathaniel's voice catches on the last word, and for a moment I can almost see myself through his eyes.
See every flaw of mine that he considers special, every ordinary feature one that he considers extraordinary, and it almost leaves me breathless.
And for the first time perhaps ever in my life, I felt truly beautiful.
"You are worthy of all the love in the world," Nathaniel continued, "And that is what I wish to give to you. As your mate, as your companion, as your lover, as your Lord."
I opened my mouth to speak, but I am lost for words.
Even before I met Nathaniel, I was not always the best at expressing my emotions, and Nathaniel was so good at it that it was always hard to follow him.
So I simply gazed up at him, willing every emotion I had welling in my chest to reach him; every ounce of gratitude and desire and awe.
"I understand," Nathaniel said softly, "I have always understood, little one, that is why I have no difficulty in being patient for you."
"Sometimes I think that you know what I am thinking before I do." I mused, and Nathaniel nodded.
"You often have too much going on in that mind of yours to be able to think straight," Nathaniel pressed a kiss to my stomach, "I aim to help you find ways to quiet it, ways like this.
"
Desire tightened in my belly as Nathaniel leaned down and licked up my slit, every sensitive nerve singing with pleasure.
Nathaniel's touch was reverent, each caress like a prayer against my overstimulated skin.
His tongue worshipped me, long licks that barely flicked against my clit, building up the pressure of my pleasure little by little.
Teasing me into the edge of release before slowing down once again, keeping me right on the precipice and begging for more.
And beg I did.
Words I would not have thought capable of even forming in my mind came slipping out of me, my need for Nathaniel overtaking all else.
"Please touch me," I whimpered, "Never stop touching me, Gods you feel so good inside me—" My voice lost itself in a gasp as Nathaniel sucked hard on my clit, my orgasm slamming into me and sending waves of pleasure coiling through my body.
Holding my twitching hips, Nathaniel pressed soft kisses onto my thighs, eyes never leaving my face as I rode the waves of pleasure, not until my breathing settled and my head fell back against the pillow.
"Good girl," Nathaniel cooed, squeezing my thighs, "You did so well, treating me to that beautiful face you make when you cum for me."
A thousand thoughts stirred in my mind, hazy from the rapturous daze Nathaniel had placed me in, and one that he clearly intended to keep me in from the way his fingers danced closer to my sopping wet core.
And yet the thought would not escape, a simple phrase that was fighting its way onto my tongue. It had lived inside me for so long, lost in so much anxiety and anger, but it was there and it was true.
I want you.
I wanted Nathaniel. I wanted him ceaselessly. To hold me, and love me, and fuck me into oblivion.
"Nathaniel..." That was all I could manage to say as Nathaniel's fingers stroked along my slit, teasing my entrance.
"Tell me what you want, darling," Nathaniel rasped, "Anything that you could possibly desire, say it and I will give it to you, but you have to use your words."
"I want you." The words came out in a sigh, as easy as a passing breeze despite the force that had once weighed them down. Below anxiety and fear, underneath an endless chasm of my own lack of self-belief and the idea that I could never deserve someone like him.
Of course I wanted him.
I wanted him so badly it made me ache, made my fingers tremble with the ever present urge to touch him. I wanted him in sleep and wake, pressed against every square inch of my skin. I wanted him like a starved woman who had waited all her life for the first meal that could ever satiate.