Chapter 35
SORROW
Raul is lost to me. A voiceless shell, an empty void who haunts his rooms in a filthy shirt, staring out of misted windows, heedless of how I bear his failure and keep usurpers from his throne.
He won’t even fight for his children. But I will.
There will be no rest till all my children are safely nestled in my arms once more.
There is nothing, nothing, I will not do for them.
— QUEEN ISBETH’S LETTERS
I stretched against the warmth of the sheets. The bloom of dawn fractured the curtains, spilling her tender greeting against my still-closed eyes. Turning over, I bit my lip to prevent the giggle from bursting through.
The wolf had returned during the night. I rose quietly to my elbows as Pablo glared at me from the other side of my husband. Matthias’s toned arm clutched the wolf. Sitting, the chill bit the skin of my bare legs. Pab shuffled and Matthias tugged him in, placed a kiss to the wolf’s muzzle.
‘Shh,’ I whispered to Pab through my laugh. I raised my finger to my curving lips and shook my head. For once, the wolf listened, huffing out a breath before placing his muzzle next to Matthias’s face. Padding to the chair, I grabbed my underwear and threw on my grey dress as my stomach grumbled.
Out of the window, I could already make out a jumble of dark shapes moving and my heart dipped.
This fledgling Alliance, ready to crumble in the faintest breeze, readied for the great meeting that afternoon.
I traced the hazy forms of my husband and wolf, Matthias’s dark hair spilled over his head, his muscled back rising in gentle waves.
The scent of freshly baked bread reminded my stomach how empty it was. Grabbing my boots, I tiptoed to the door. I’d grab us some breakfast before I woke him. Anything to buy us a sliver of time as lovers before we placed the ever-growing weight of our jagged crowns upon our heads once more.
My blurry gaze caught on the drawer; my feet moved forward as though the heart truly was a piece of my own.
I tugged it open, wincing as it creaked.
I peeked back to where Pablo remained in Matthias’s embrace.
He’d said nothing when Vyrus walked away from us last night.
I bristled as I thought of the stubborn God’s words.
How dare he? How could he think it was acceptable to refuse my plea to alter the deal, but he could rescind it on a whim?
My fingers curled around the gem, the pulse echoing my own.
A smirk curled the corner of my mouth. If he imagined I’d give him one moment of peace, he’d soon discover he’d pissed off the wrong Villente.
I slipped it onto my finger, shifting my head so my better eye could make out the gleam of crimson.
I almost whistled at the size of it. No wonder Isbeth had placed it on a chain.
Her knuckles would be dragging the floor otherwise.
A stab of guilt wriggled uncomfortably in my chest. I’d lied.
Straight into the face of a god. My words had been partly true.
For someone who’d spent her life glaring at garish gems, I’d more than happily accepted the ruby Skye showed me all those weeks ago in Asmar, when my biggest problem had been how many of Danté’s teeth I removed.
Why on Eusis would I ever suspect it to be a mythical fragment of Vyrus’s heart?
I ran my thumb over the jagged edges. I’d made a deal with Vyrus.
I’d search for his heart in return for my husband’s freedom and for the God’s aid in the upcoming war.
And I’d damned that deal.
I pulled the chain over my neck, tucking the jewel under my dress and close to my breast. The wolf grunted as Matthias mumbled under his breath.
Last night, we’d spoken our vows, spent the night tangled in the sheets and even Pablo appeared to be warming to my husband.
A bit. But how could I protect them? I was still pitifully far from balancing my gifts.
Without them what was I? A queen without a throne, with the remnants of her splintered sight and a tongue sharper than a Vyrium dagger?
But as we’d faced that nest of diafols? I shivered, still unsure how we’d walked away with our lives.
Moments before I’d set my gifts free, I’d touched the ruby.
Had it helped me? Yes, the unruly gifts had defied me and I’d almost broken myself forcing them to obey, but obey they had.
And I couldn’t believe it was my doing alone.
But even as a Deviant, it still wasn’t enough for the battle we now faced. With Vyrus fighting for us, we were invincible. I lowered my head, scrunched my eyes tight. I’d find the God and win him back.
My stomach grumbled as I met my shattered reflection in the mirror.
But first, breakfast.
In bed.
I carefully clicked the door shut, a grin tugging on my lips.
The memory of Pablo’s glare burned against my eyes as Matthias nuzzled his neck.
I rarely went anywhere without the wolf, but they’d looked so…
cute. And I was in the heart of The Alliance.
There wasn’t a single safer place I could be right now.
The scent of hot buttered toast carried my feet down the staircase.
I clung to the banister, feeling each step carefully as my stomach rolled again.
There’d been a lot less food to go around after Pablo carried off the roasted hog, but how could I say no to him?
My mouth practically drooled as I finally reached the bottom step, squinting into the blurry mess, trying to work out where the food was, when my gaze was pulled towards the main entrance.
A shock of dark wild hair, a set of broad shoulders, turning abruptly, disappearing through the doors.
Vyrus.
I gripped my skirts, ran my fingers over the material as my pulse spiked, regretting leaving the wolf in my rooms. By the time I’d dragged myself back to the room to call him, Vyrus would go.
I had to speak to him, win him over. But to go outside?
Without Pablo? I shook my head. The risk of falling over or bumping into someone was hardly the life-or-death situation we all faced if I let Vyrus go.
Inhaling a settling breath, I opened my eyes wider, as if that could help, and followed the God into the blazing light of the chilly autumn morning. I cursed as I scanned the area, my heart plummeting as though I’d truly thrown myself into the flames of the volcano, as I found no sign of him.
‘Your Highness?’
I spun round, meeting the forever-scowling face of King Cai of Trespia. I shivered, recalling how I’d feared he may be the king I’d been tethered to before I knew it was to be Matthias. Forcing a smile onto my face, I side-stepped him, my pulse hammering as I tried to locate the God.
‘No wolf?’ Cai asked, turning and falling into step beside me.
I shook my head, cursing my sight. ‘He’s currently keeping my husband warm in bed,’ I said, pushing past nickering horses and smoking guards.
‘Oh,’ Cai said. ‘It’s like that, is it? Well, live and let live, I always say. I’m not—’
I groaned. I didn’t have time for this.
‘Have you seen a man? The one with black hair, mad eyes? He was stamping on the crate? Big bottle in his hand?’
Cai’s bushy brows flew up his head, and a wide smile broke across his teak face.
‘Rude one?’ he asked as I gripped my skirt tighter. ‘Barged into me, went into the garden over there.’
He nodded towards an orchard, the boughs empty. But there was no sign of the God. Tears prickled at the back of my eyes as I settled my breaths and started towards the naked trees.
‘Don’t suppose I could help?’ I’d almost forgotten Cai was there.
I silently cursed once more, truly feeling the absence of the wolf.
The old me would have turned him down, probably gone arse over tit as I stubbornly refused any help.
But I was a different person now. And I couldn’t find the God alone, just as I couldn’t defeat the empress alone.
Smiling, I nodded and we headed into the trees.
Vyrus’s balls. I’d never known Cai to talk so much.
I half-wondered if I should warn him about the dangers of oxygen deprivation as he wittered on about Gods know what while we searched for Vyrus.
My skin prickled as he started telling me about an apple strudel he’d once eaten when visiting Romero, and I gripped the ruby around my neck.
Anything to stop my fists from flying into his face and shutting him up for good.
I thanked Evella, realising just how bad the other marriage options could have been.
‘I—’
I swallowed my words as he continued waffling on. The trees grew closer together here, the hubbub of The Alliance lost in the distance, and with my stomach twisting, I knew there was no point carrying on. I’d left it too late. Vyrus had gone.
I raised my voice, my shoulders slumping as Cai’s brow furrowed. ‘Thank you for your help, but we really need to get back. We don’t want to miss the meeting.’
‘Tough shit,’ he said.
For a moment, my mouth hung open. ‘I’m sorry?’
His hands slipped into his pockets as his eyes darkened. ‘I said tough shit, Deviant.’
The smile slid from my face as his grew.
I glanced up. My silver threads tugged as the blackbirds and crows flew from branch to branch.
Wings fluttering, harsh caws echoing. I backed away from the Trespian king, his breath misting before him.
Cai lunged and I stumbled, falling backwards.
His coarse hands grabbed my wrists and I cried out as cold metal snapped over me.
An emptiness opened up within. My gifts subdued.
Evellum.
I tugged the cuffs, my heart pounding as the crunching of boots grew around me.