Chapter 16 - Jane
There’s no way I heard him right. No way. I still remember the look on his face when he turned me down. He was disgusted by the idea of us being mates. It was written all over his face. There’s no way I’m not hearing him wrong.
“What?” I manage to croak out.
“I’m not good at this,” Reiner repeats, gesturing between us. “I’m not good at relationships, and I’m not good at opening up. But I want to try. I want to be better. I’m not perfect, and I’m not going to pretend to be, but I can promise you that I’ll try. I’ll never hurt you again, Jane. I can’t. I can’t lose you.”
I’m silent for a few minutes, digesting his words. I can see the sincerity in his eyes, and I can feel the honesty in his words. He means it. He’s serious.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me,” he continues. “I’m not asking you to forget. I’m just asking you to give me a chance. Give us a chance. I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m begging you, Jane. I’ll do whatever it takes. Just tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.”
I want to believe it. I want to believe him. I want to fall into his arms and let him carry me away. But…
“But what about at the infirmary after you were hurt? I kissed you, and you pulled away. You didn’t want me then, either.”
“Oh, I wanted you. I wanted you so badly that it was all I could not to bend you over the exam table and take you right there. I didn’t pull away because I didn’t want you. I pulled away because I didn’t want our first time to be in a hospital. I didn’t want it to be fast and rough and dirty. I wanted it to be special. I wanted it to be romantic. I wanted it to be everything you deserved.”
I blink at him. “Wait, what?”
“I’m trying to say that I want you, Jane. I’ve always wanted you. And I’m done fighting it. I’m done pretending that I don’t care, that I don’t want you. I know this is all supposed to be pretend, but I don’t want it to be. I want it to be real. I want you. I want you, Jane.”
I’m speechless. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Is this really happening?
“I know I fucked up,” he says, his voice low and husky. “I know I hurt you, and I know I don’t deserve a second chance. But I’m asking you for one, anyway. I’m asking you to give me a chance, to give us a chance.”
I must be dreaming. There’s no way this is happening. But as I look into Reiner’s eyes, I know it’s not. He’s telling the truth. He’s being honest. He’s baring his soul to me, and the sincerity in his eyes is the biggest turn-on I’ve ever seen.
Without a word, I launch myself at him, capturing his lips with mine. He responds instantly, his hands gripping my hips and pulling me against him. The railing on the deck presses into my back, and I can feel the wood digging into my skin, but I don’t care. I’m too focused on the feeling of his lips on mine, the taste of his tongue in my mouth, the heat of his body.
I’ve waited so long for this. I’ve dreamed about it, fantasized about it, and I’m tired of waiting. I want Reiner, and I’m going to have him.
His hands slide up the hem of my skirt, and he gathers a handful of my ass, squeezing and kneading. My nails dig into his shoulders, and I moan into his mouth.
“Hot damn!” someone shouts from across the yard. “Get a room, would you? We don’t want to see all that.”
We break apart, panting, and I can’t help but giggle. Reiner’s eyes are dark with lust, and his lips are swollen from our kisses. He looks like a man possessed, and I love it.
“Take me home,” I whisper, and he doesn’t need to be told twice.
He grabs my hand, leading me through the backyard and around the side of the house. He’s walking so fast that I practically have to jog to keep up. Fortunately, my trailer is just a few blocks away, and my aunt and uncle are back at the party.
As soon as we’re inside, Reiner slams the door shut and pushes me against it, his lips crashing down on mine. I kiss him back eagerly, my hands roaming his body, exploring every inch of him.
His hands are everywhere, too, touching, caressing, squeezing. He backs me through the living room and down the hall, never once breaking the kiss. When we reach my bedroom, he pushes the door open and guides me inside.
I fumble with the buttons on his shirt, my fingers shaking with anticipation. I can’t seem to get them undone, and I let out a frustrated groan. Reiner chuckles and reaches down to help me. Together, we manage to get his shirt off, and then he peels my dress over my head.
I stand before him, wearing nothing but my bra and panties. Out of habit, I cover my stomach with my arms.
“Don’t,” he says, his voice a low growl. He pulls my arms away, and his eyes rake over my body. “You’re perfect.”
I’ve never felt more beautiful than I do at this moment, with him looking at me like I’m the most precious thing he’s ever seen.
He cups my face with his hands and kisses me, his lips soft and gentle. His touch is feather-light, and his movements are slow and deliberate. It’s a stark contrast to the frenzied, passionate kissing from before, and it’s almost enough to bring tears to my eyes.
He’s not just having sex with me. He’s making love to me.
He trails his lips down my neck, nipping and sucking at my skin. I gasp and arch into him, pressing my body against his. With two long strides backward, the backs of my knees connect with the bed. He gently pushes me down, and I scoot back, my eyes never leaving his.
He crawls onto the bed, his body hovering over mine. I can feel the heat radiating off of him, and his scent surrounds me, enveloping me in a cocoon of desire.
He kisses me again, his lips moving slowly and deliberately. I can feel his restraint, the way he’s holding himself back. I don’t want him to hold back. I want all of him, everything he has to give.
“Reiner,” I whisper against his lips. “I’m not made of glass. I won’t break.”
“I know,” he murmurs. “But I want to savor this. I want to take my time, to enjoy every second.”
I can’t argue with that. I’ve waited a year for this, and I want to make sure it’s everything I’ve dreamed of.
He kisses me again, his tongue sliding past my lips and into my mouth. As he explores my mouth, he takes my hand and guides it to the front of his pants, where his erection is straining against the fabric.
I gasp and instinctively squeeze, eliciting a low groan from him. Encouraged by his response, I rub my hand along his length, tracing the outline of his cock before unbuttoning his pants and slipping my hand inside. I wrap my fingers around his shaft and stroke him, and I can feel him shudder. He breaks the kiss and buries his face in my neck, his breath hot against my skin.
“Fuck, Jane,” he growls. “You’re driving me crazy.”
I smile and continue stroking him, enjoying the way he feels in my hand. I can’t wait to have him inside me, filling me up and stretching me to the limit.
Reiner lowers his head and captures one of my nipples between his teeth, biting down gently. I cry out and arch my back, pushing my breast further into his mouth. He swirls his tongue around the sensitive peak, and I whimper, my body trembling with pleasure.
He moves his attention to my other nipple, repeating the same sensual torture. I writhe beneath him, my hips bucking involuntarily. I’m desperate for him, and I can’t wait any longer. I need him inside me now.
“Reiner, please,” I beg. “I need you. I need you inside me.”
He lifts his head and looks at me, his eyes dark with lust. “Are you sure?” he asks, his voice husky.
“Yes,” I breathe. “I’m sure. I want you, Reiner. All of you.”
He doesn’t need any more encouragement. He sits up and slides his pants and boxers off, and I can’t help but stare. He’s huge, and I’m suddenly nervous. Will he fit?
He must see the apprehension on my face because he leans down and kisses me. “I’ll go slow,” he promises.
I nod, and he settles between my legs, his cock nudging my entrance. Before he presses himself inside me, he slides his hand down my stomach and between my thighs. He runs a finger over my clit, and I gasp, my hips jerking.
He strokes my clit, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves. I squirm and moan, my body on fire. I’ve never felt anything like this before. I’ve touched myself, but it’s nothing compared to the way Reiner is touching me.
As he continues to work his magic with his fingers, he slowly pushes himself inside me. I bite my lip, pain and pleasure mixing together in a delicious way. He fills me up, and I can feel my body stretch to accommodate him.
He stops when he’s fully inside me, giving me a moment to adjust. I breathe deeply, my heart pounding.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I nod, and he begins to move, easing in and out of me. He starts slow, letting me get used to the sensation. I expected pain, but there’s only a bit of discomfort, and as he continues, the slight pressure fades, replaced by a growing sense of pleasure. I can feel my body responding to him, my muscles tightening and my breath becoming shallow. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down for a kiss, our tongues tangling together.
The feeling of him inside me, the taste of his lips, the heat of his skin… it’s all so much better than I’d ever imagined.
“More,” I whisper. “I want more.”
He obliges, his pace increasing. He thrusts into me, his hips moving in a steady rhythm. I cling to him, my nails digging into his back. He groans and kisses me, his tongue mimicking the motion of his cock.
I can feel the pressure building inside me, the heat coiling low in my belly. I’m close, so close.
“Oh, God,” I moan. “Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.”
He doesn’t. He keeps going, his movements growing more urgent. He’s grunting and groaning, and the sound is so primal and sexy that it sends me over the edge.
I cry out, my body convulsing as the orgasm crashes over me. It’s the most intense thing I’ve ever felt, and I can’t believe I’ve been missing out on this for so long.
Reiner slows, drawing out my pleasure. When I finally come down from my high, he picks up the pace again.
“Come for me,” I whisper, my voice hoarse. “I want to feel you come inside me.”
That’s all it takes. He thrusts into me one last time, and I feel him explode. He groans, his body shuddering as he empties himself inside me.
He collapses on top of me, and I wrap my arms and legs around him, holding him close. We stay like that for a few minutes, our hearts pounding and our bodies entwined.
Finally, he rolls off of me and pulls me into his arms, cradling me against his chest. I rest my head on his shoulder and listen to the sound of his heartbeat, strong and steady.
I’m not sure what to say. There are so many emotions running through me, and I don’t know how to process them. I’m holding my breath, waiting for Reiner to change his mind now that I’ve given myself to him. I want to enjoy this moment, to bask in the afterglow, but I can’t. I’m too scared.
Who’s to say that next week, he won’t decide he doesn’t want me again? Who’s to say that tomorrow, he won’t wake up and realize he’s only settling for me?
I just don’t think my heart could take it.