Chapter 8 His Daughter, Her Terms
POV COLE MERCER
Rowan chose the diner.
Public place. Bright windows. No club members close enough to pretend not to listen.
Cole arrived early and ordered coffee.
Rowan came in wearing grease-marked jeans and a University of Kentucky sweatshirt.
She sat across from him.
"Mom said you know."
"I know."
"Okay."
Cole waited.
Rowan looked at the menu though both knew neither was hungry.
Finally she said, "I don't need a dad."
He nodded.
"I figured."
"I have my mom. I had Deke, kind of. Tank taught me to ride. Bonnie taught me to bake. Mr. Alvarez taught me Spanish curses when he thought Mom couldn't hear."
"Boone's a public service."
A corner of her mouth moved.
"But," Rowan said, "I want to know you."
Cole put both hands around the coffee mug.
"Anything you want to know, I'll answer."
"Even bad stuff?"
"Especially."
She studied him.
"Why didn't you come back?"
The first question could have been favorite color.
It wasn't.
Cole took a breath.
"Because I was ashamed. Then because I told myself Mara was better without me. Then because Deke told me she wanted me gone. After a while, not coming back became a life I had to defend to myself."
"That's weak."
"Yes."
"You could've called."
"Yes."
"You could've asked."
"Yes."
Rowan's eyes filled, but her voice stayed level.
"And you didn't know about me."
"No."
"Would you have come back if you did?"
Cole could lie kindly.
He refused.
"I don't know what twenty-nine-year-old me would have done. I want to say yes. I don't trust him enough to promise it."
Rowan looked down.
Cole's chest hurt.
"But fifty-one-year-old me is here," he said. "And I won't disappear on you unless you tell me to go."
She wiped under one eye with the heel of her hand.
"I hate that answer."
"I know."
"It's probably the right one."
"Maybe."
The waitress brought pie neither had ordered.
"On Bonnie," she said.
Of course.
Rowan laughed through tears.
Ironvale, Cole thought, could not leave a wound alone without feeding it.
POV MARA QUINN
Mara did not wait by the window.
She sat at her workbench and ruined two seams.
At one fifteen, Rowan texted.
Alive. He's not terrible. Hate this town. Bonnie sent pie.
Mara laughed so suddenly the needle jumped.
At three, Cole came into Quinn Upholstery.
He stopped just inside the door.
"She said I could tell you it went okay."
Mara nodded.
"Thank you."
He looked around the shop.
Bolts of vinyl. Leather hides. Rowan's welding helmet on a shelf. A photograph from the state skills competition.
"You built all this."
"Yes."
"I knew you would."
Mara's hands went still.
"You don't get to be proud of me like you were here."
Cole swallowed.
"You're right."
She hated that she had wanted him to argue.
He looked at a black leather vest hanging from a hook.
Her old cut.
Not the one from twenty years ago. A newer one Tank had given her when Deke got sick. No OLD LADY tab. Just a small patch over the heart.
ASH RIVER FAMILY.
Cole touched nothing.
"You're still part of them."
"They were part of Rowan's life."
"And yours."
"Some of them."
He nodded.
Mara threaded a needle.
"She asked if you would have come back."
Cole's eyes lifted.
"She told you?"
"She tells me what she chooses."
"I told her I didn't know."
Mara's jaw tightened.
"I know."
"You wanted me to say yes."
"I wanted you to have been a man who would say yes."
"So did I."
Silence.
Mara looked down at the leather under her hands.
Cole moved toward the door.
"Friday, Lena gets here around noon."
Mara felt the old name settle in the room.
"All right."
He opened the door.
"Cole."
He turned.
It was the first time she had used his name since the funeral.
His face showed it.
Mara almost took it back.
Instead she said, "Don't make me hear the truth from her before I hear it from you."
He nodded.
"You won't."
POV COLE MERCER
After the diner, Cole drove Rowan back to campus.
At the curb, she said, "Don't tell Mom everything I said."
"I won't."
"Not because she's fragile."
"I know."
"Because it's mine."
Cole nodded.
"Yes."
Rowan opened the door.
Then she looked back.
"Same time next week?"
Cole could not trust his voice.
He nodded.
Rowan got out.
Cole sat parked until the car behind him honked.