18 Julia
Julia
Westport, Connecticut
I wake up sore from the rough sex, but it feels fantastic. I stretch and think of all the things that Casey said to me only two hours ago. My eyes widen as I see the time. I’ll be late for school.
He wants me so much, but he thinks he can’t have me because of who I am. I think of my parents and the money. All the trips, the clothes, the stuff that means nothing. Casey is all that matters to me.
I sit up. I’ll be eighteen next month, and I want to be with him. I don’t need any of this. The money—none of it matters.
I get up, fully awake now. I slept on the floor between my bed and the front windows—out of view of the door.
I didn’t want one of my parents to glance in and see me or the bed unmade since I was supposed to be at a friend’s.
I grab my backpack, empty all the school stuff out, and kick it under the bed.
I stuff a change of clothes, makeup, and all the money I have along with my driver’s license in there.
Then I grab my phone. On second thought, I add a couple of things I might need for camouflaging myself this morning.
One step at a time, I ease downstairs listening for my parents’ voices. They’re still in the kitchen having breakfast.
I reach the front door and unlock it. The click of the lock paralyzes me for an instant. Once I have the door open, I listen again to ensure they have no idea I’ve even been in the house. How dense they are to trust me so.
I close the door behind me, then bound across the driveway and disappear into the trees for the shortcut to the road. My parents won’t even miss me until five or so this evening.
At the road, I decide once I get to school I’ll try to hitch a ride to Casey’s place. It would take too long to walk, and I’d be all sweaty. What I need first is a ride to school before my parents leave for their mornings and catch me out here.
Just like clockwork, Deana Williams’s car appears. She slows to a stop. Her house is the closest to ours. She powers down the passenger window. “Hey, girl, why didn’t you tell me you needed a ride to school?”
I open the door and get in. “Because I knew you would come along anyway.”
We laugh and I’m off. The lift from Deana will get me to the school. I’ll hitch a ride from Post Road and be in Norwalk in no time.
At the school I walk to the main entrance with Deana, then I wait until she melts into the crowd and I head back out again.
Once I’m away from the school, I take the beanie out of my backpack and finagle my long red hair into it and pull it down over my ears.
Then I put on the sunglasses I never wear.
Backpack on my shoulder, I start walking with my thumb out.
I’ve never done this before, so I’m not sure how reliable hitching is these days.
Luckily it takes only about ten minutes for someone to decide to pull over.
It’s an older man, sort of frail looking.
Works for me. I could probably take him if the need arose.
“Where are you headed, young lady?”
“Devon Avenue in Norwalk. You going that way?”
He nods as he merges into the traffic. “Why aren’t you in school?” He shoots me a look.
“I have a day off, and I’m doing an experiment to see how many acts of kindness I encounter. Thank you for stopping, by the way.”
He gives a nod and a grunt. “Whatever you say, girlie.”
Half an hour later—because the old man is such a slow driver and traffic is heavy—he drops me off on Devon Avenue. This isn’t my final destination, but it’s the only one he needs to know about.
I walk the final two blocks to Newfield Street.
I remove the beanie and the sunglasses and toss both into my backpack.
I finger comb my hair and pop a piece of cinnamon gum in my mouth.
My heart rate climbs faster and faster as I walk toward his house.
His car is there, so he probably is too. If he’s not, I’ll wait for him.
At the door I knock and wait. I hear sounds, maybe footsteps.
Then the door opens. Casey is half naked. No shirt, jeans gaping open as if he’d just dragged them on.
The scent of coffee coming from inside reminds me I haven’t had breakfast.
“What’re you doing here, Julia?”
I belly up to him. “Aren’t you going to ask me in?”
“I won’t be here long,” he warns. “I have work.”
“Doesn’t matter.” I push past him.
When he closes the door and faces me, I tell him. “I’m here to stay. Wherever you go, I’m going with you.”
He braces his hands on his hips. “You’re not eighteen. You want to get me into trouble? I’m twenty-five. That’s statutory rape.”
This thoroughly pisses me off. “You didn’t seem to be worried about that when we were fucking in your car before daylight.”
He shakes his head. “Coming with me isn’t an option, Julia. What I do—”
“I don’t care what you do.” I shake my head adamantly. “As long as you come home to me when you’re finished . . . that’s all I want.”
“I do dangerous work. Illegal work. You going to be okay with that when we have to run or when the cops drag me to prison?”
“I’ll be right here waiting for you.” Tears threaten as I make this promise. I don’t understand. I thought he wanted me more than anything. I thought we were meant for each other.
“You have to go home. How did you get here?” He goes to a window and parts the blinds for a look outside.
“I hitched and I’m not going back home.” The tears now streaming down my cheeks infuriate me. I want the floor to crack open so I can fall in and hide.
“Give me a minute,” he says as he fastens his jeans, “and I’ll drop you back at your school.” He reaches for a discarded hoodie on the sofa.
I want to scream. I want to cry until my eyes bleed. Why is he doing this?
I lift my chin in defiance. “I need to use the bathroom.”
He jerks his head in that direction. “Make it fast. I have shit to do.”
I want to die. I go into the bathroom and slam the door.
It takes a moment for me to pull myself together.
With a deep breath, I wet one corner of the hand towel with cold water and try to swipe the mascara that has melted beneath my eyes.
I don’t want him to see me like this. Like a disappointed little girl.
When I decide this is as good as it gets, I open the door and step out. As I pass the door to Casey’s room, it opens. Wendy is there . . . wearing nothing but Casey’s unbuttoned shirt. She’s obviously naked beneath it.
“Hey,” she says.
I can’t speak. My heart has stopped. My stomach has dropped to my feet.
“It’s not my fault,” she dares to say. “I just wanted to find out what he was up to. To protect you.” She glances toward the living room. “I was right,” she whispers. “The guy is a total psycho. You need to get away from him.”
“I hate you,” I snarl like a wild animal backed into a corner.
She opens her mouth to say something, but Casey shouts for me to come on.
I stare once more at Wendy . . . my friend . . . the person I trusted with my heart and soul. The look on her face . . . hurt. How dare she look at me that way!
I clutch at the heart necklace she gave me and snap it free of my neck and throw it at her. Then I walk away. I never want to see her again.
I no longer want to die. I want Wendy to die. I hate her.
At Casey’s car I hesitate before getting in. This is so fucking wrong. I glare at him, then turn away. “I’m not going anywhere with you,” I call over my shoulder.
“Where the hell are you going, Julia?”
“Go fuck yourself.”
At the moment I would be truly and thoroughly thrilled if they both dropped dead.
They are going to regret this.