Chapter Forty-Two
‘You could have gone out there for a holiday. Just to see if you’d have liked it.’
My smile was sad as Mel continued to clutch at straws that I’d never allowed myself to hold on to.
‘It’s all sunshine and beaches and laid-back lifestyle. What’s not to like?’ I said, lifting the oversized coffee cup to my lips and sipping the contents slowly.
‘Spiders,’ Jackson declared with an exaggerated shudder. ‘They’d be a major downside to living in Oz. And don’t get me started on sharks. No, you’re better off staying here.’
‘Spiders don’t worry me. I’ve stuck my head in too many dusty attics for them to be an issue.’
Jackson shook his head sadly. ‘Then I’m all out of reasons why you’re still here.
’ His arm came up around my shoulders and he pulled me in close.
‘Except, of course, if you had decided to go, you’d have been a hell of a distance from Mel and me.
And we wouldn’t be able to descend on her and eat all her fancy biscuits whenever we wanted,’ he added, swiping the last chocolate Hobnob from the plate and impressively managing to get the entire thing in his mouth.
‘Exactly,’ I said, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.
‘You’d better not be staying here because of us,’ Mel said, before taking a sip from the single cup of coffee she allowed herself each day, and sighing in bliss.
‘I mean it, Ells. Please tell me we’ve never been a deciding factor in any of this.
’ She waggled her fingers between herself and Jackson.
‘Because I’ll disown you as my friend in a heartbeat if that’s why you’re not going with Rhys. ’
Mel rested the cup on her impressive bump as though nature had handily given her a new and interesting lap tray.
The liquid rippled in the cup as the baby moved, lightening the mood and making us all laugh.
That was good, because over the last five weeks, since I’d left Rhys standing alone beneath the tree where we’d met, I was seriously beginning to think I’d forgotten how.
‘It’s not any one thing,’ I explained. ‘It’s too many things. It’s this little baby, it’s both of you, it’s Henry, it’s making my mum proud, and it’s the business.’
Jackson gave my hand the kind of squeeze that breaks fingers. ‘Glad to hear that one is finally at the bottom of the list, Harker. It’s about time.’
My smile was tinged with sadness. ‘I’m learning.’
‘Now!’ Mel cried suddenly, quickly passing Jackson her coffee and grabbing my hand and laying it flat against the tight-as-a-drum skin of her stomach.
Her eyes held mine with a look of dancing excitement. Unconsciously I held my breath as though trying not to spook the infant beneath my palm. Fifteen seconds later I was rewarded with a slight squirm and then a resounding tiny kick.
‘Oh my God. That’s incredible,’ I exclaimed, all at once – and totally unexpectedly – on the verge of tears. ‘How does that feel to you?’
‘Kind of wonderful.’
I thought I’d seen every expression on my old friend’s face, but the one she was currently wearing was new to me. It was serene and suffused with joy. Just as surprising was a sudden longing that tugged at something deep inside me.
Mel had picked her moment well, catching me with my guard lowered. She covered the hand that was still resting on her belly with her own.
‘I saw Rhys yesterday.’
‘What? Where? How come?’
My head spun to Jackson, faster than a tango dancer. ‘Did you know anything about this?’
He raised his hands in the universal gesture of surrender. ‘Don’t jump down my throat. This is breaking news to me.’
I turned my attention back to Mel, who was now looking far more Machiavelli than Madonna in my eyes.
‘Did you arrange to see him?’
She shook her head. ‘No. It was entirely accidental. He was coming out of the bank as I was going in. No one is conspiring behind your back, Ellie.’
I sat up slowly and tried to reclaim my hand, but Mel refused to give it up, threading her fingers through mine.
‘He looked terrible.’
Despite the weeks I’d spent trying to exorcise him from my heart, he still haunted every chamber like a ghost. ‘Do you mean sick? Is he ill?’
‘If being heartbroken is a sickness, then I’d say he’s got it every bit as badly as you,’ she said, walking on ground that only a best friend would dare to tread upon. ‘He looked kind of broken.’
I swallowed uncomfortably several times, not entirely confident I could use my voice without it cracking.
‘Did he . . . ?’ I stopped to clear my throat, which suddenly seemed to be full of gravel. ‘Did he say anything about me?’
If Mel rolled her eyes any higher, they’d have disappeared clear into the back of her head. ‘Of course he mentioned you.’ She sighed like an exasperated teacher dealing with unruly children. ‘He wanted to know if you were okay. That was the only thing he was concerned about.’
I didn’t want to feel the all-consuming flash fire of love, but it was impossible to stop it.
Mel drew in a deep breath. ‘He also told me that he’s leaving in ten days.’
My stomach didn’t really plummet within my diaphragm, logically I knew that couldn’t happen. But it certainly felt as though it did.
‘So soon?’ Whose voice was that? Because it certainly didn’t sound like mine.
Mel shrugged her shoulders. ‘Apparently his ex and their daughter left several weeks ago.’
‘Hmmm,’ said Jackson, doing a very bad Hercule Poirot impersonation. ‘That’s interesting.’
‘Not really,’ I said, desperately trying to sound nonchalant and missing by a country mile.
Mel and Jackson exchanged a look that they didn’t bother trying to hide. I saw it . . . just as they wanted me to.