Chapter Seven
I’d been to conferences before, but never that one. The financial software world was small and dominated by three or four Silicon Valley giants, but there were enough of us to gather once a year. I didn’t know how much fun accountants, finance managers, and technology executives could be.
So many people from our company attended, including all twenty sales reps, our VP, the VP of marketing, and more.
There were a bunch of talks and presentations, but the sales team was focused on finding someone, anyone, from CompComm.
They weren’t supposed to attend, but we heard a rumor the new VP of Global Technology was coming to look around.
We arrived on the Tuesday after Alec’s and my last trip.
He was nothing but normal following our conversation that morning.
And it felt like we’d gotten closer in the office on Monday.
Our indiscretion was worth it for that alone.
Alec was the kind of guy destined for upper management, and having friends in high places was always good.
Worth it, yes, but also troubling. I hung on Alec’s every word and addressed his concerns before he voiced them.
It fucking wigged me out. I always had my shit together, handled and ready to present, but I was never the guy jumping up to get coffee after an offhanded comment about being tired.
He gave me the same weird look I gave myself.
I was able to figure out a few reasons why I behaved the way I did.
Namely, I’m more into men than I thought, and I want to do well.
I had good grades, but better for teachers I respected.
I was a great employee, but went above and beyond for bosses who respected me.
There was nothing I wouldn’t do for my close friends.
Alec was hot, a great boss, and a good friend.
The urge to please him and receive praise—in a professional context—got mixed up with just how hot he was when I was drunk and horny.
It was more than troubling, it was disturbing.
I was nervous about sharing a room with Alec again because I didn’t want to throw myself at him like some needy slut after a few drinks.
His comments that morning about not being able to keep his hands off me if things were different didn’t help.
I kept thinking he wanted to do it again, and I just had to find the opportunity.
Thank goodness, with such a packed schedule, there wouldn’t be many opportunities. And when we arrived at the hotel, I got the vibe that the sales team would be together as much as possible for the entire week. The only alone time would be to sleep and our pre-scheduled meetings and presentations.
“We have time to freshen up and then meet down here for dinner, Alec,” Lisa said, her eyes hung low in annoyance and lack of energy.
“Define freshen up,” Alec said.
“I’m not wearing my flight clothes to dinner and risk seeing people. You,” she looked him up and down in utter disgust, “can do whatever you want. We’ll be down here in an hour so we can get dinner before the networking meet and greet.”
I thought Alec looked good in his sweatpants, tee, and zipper hoodie. But then again, I’d still find him sexy-as-fuck in an evening gown made of used dish rags. Which was gross and also disturbing.
“An hour?” Alec asked. “The event’s at 7:00. It’s 5:00 now…”
“An hour,” Lisa said, and it was settled.
Our room wasn’t a suite, but it was the biggest room Alec and I had ever shared, with enough space for a couch and two desk chairs. It was nice, but a total waste since we were at a conference with zero time to work in the room.
Also, it just made me feel weird as fuck.
The last time we were in a hotel room, only a few days ago, Alec nutted all over my face and open mouth.
Since then, I’d been deferring to him in a way that felt servile.
That’s not who I am or what I want. I am not submissive to anyone, especially another guy—even if I find him attractive.
I always saw myself as a dominant man. Not some alpha, man-o-sphere bullshit, but the aggressor.
Instead, I was freaking putty in his hands.
I called him sir, for fuck’s sake. It was hard to look him in the eye sometimes.
Myself in the mirror, too. I could explain it away as just being drunk and horny, but I beat off to the memory so many times after I got home, I had to admit there was something more to it.
I’d never, ever, been more turned on in my life than when he was giving me orders.
It scared me, but there were few things I wouldn’t have done if he commanded me to.
Just the thought of pleasing him brought me intense sexual gratification.
I wanted to suck his cock because sucking cocks is a hot fantasy of mine, but also, I wanted to pleasure him.
I wanted him to make use of my mouth and find it good.
I wanted to be worthy of him. And that was a mind fuck beyond all else.
“You good, Blackwood?” Alec asked, breaking me out of my daymare. “You look like you’re freaking out right now.”
“Yeah. Yup. All good.”
Fucking hell, even my smile was fake. What the fuck was going on with me?
“Yeah?” Alec tensed his eyes before letting his face slack into a small smile. “Want me to get another room?”
“No. No, of course not. I’m good.”
“You sure? ‘Cause I mean, I can.” He laughed. “Christ, you look bewildered! We’re not the first sales team to fuck around. If you’re uncomfortable, let me know, man.”
The tension burst, and I laughed. What a wild thing to say. “What the fuck?”
“Yeah, man. Why do you think teams are all the same gender, except for Lisa and Henri, and Kevin and Jess? Because Henri and Jess are gay.”
“That sounds like some kind of phobic, but I’m not sure which…” I laughed.
Alec shrugged before taking off his shirt. “Maybe. I’m sure HR vetted it and shit. But at this place, who the fuck knows? Though,” he dropped his sweatpants, “it’s not a bad policy.”
“I stand by my earlier statement.” My face was red, and I was trying to smile while not looking at his body. It was a losing battle.
“You gonna change?”
“Yeah, uh… in a minute.”
He stood up straight. “Is this gonna be a problem, Blackwood? One of the reasons I liked rooming with you was because I didn’t need to be shy.”
“No, man.” I swallowed and forced my eyes to roll. “There’s got to be a better way than separating the boys and girls like middle school. How have they not been sued?”
“They have.”
“What?”
He stood there in his underwear, his bulge begging to be caressed, but spoke as if we were getting lunch at the office.
“So, this was all before my time, but they used to have mixed-gender teams, and they all fucked—all of them. Everyone knew. It just wasn’t talked about.
But they were mostly young and single, so it wasn’t a big deal. ”
“You get how that’s a big deal, right?”
He waved his hand at me. “Yes, of course. Remember how freaked out I was after we fooled around?”
I looked away. “Uh-huh.”
“So I get it. Apparently, it was different back then, but I wasn’t there. It only stopped because someone got pregnant.”
“Only one?”
Alec laughed. “I mean, who the fuck knows, but this one was the one that broke it all up. The Sr. Rep. was married, and—”
“I thought you said they were all young and single? You also said you never knew anyone who cheated on the job?”
He half-glared. Why did his semi-angry face turn me on?
“No, I didn’t. I’ve known plenty of cheating scumbags. But I also said it happened before my time, I didn’t know them, and mostly single. This guy wasn’t. But that’s far from the point.”
“What’s the point, then?”
His face soured. “He tried to get the Jr. Rep. to terminate. She didn’t and sued, and won big.
After that, it was same-gender teams.” He shook his head, maybe realizing how on the nose he was about to be.
“Until another suit was brought, both guys. So, now they mix genders and sexualities. But it’s not a perfect science.
Rob’s husband was his Jr. Rep., but they went about it the right way and got HR’s blessing. ”
I liked Rob. He never had a bad word to say about anyone. His husband was cool, too. How could all of that have happened, and no one talked about it? Sales and marketing people are very gossipy, myself included.
“How have I never heard of this?” I said.
“Never made it to court? I guess? They must’ve settled. The ones who were around for it don’t talk about it, but maybe they’re not allowed to? I don’t know. Whenever anyone mentioned it, I always got the feeling I shouldn’t press for details.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah, so it makes sense. That’s why Sr. Reps. don’t have material power over their Jr’s careers. Sales and Marketing management takes team formation into close consideration. One of them being how likely they are to fuck. They still get it wrong sometimes. Clearly.”
My face went red again. I didn’t understand how Alec could be so cavalier about it.
“Yup. They do.”
“It’s not worth it. Not when you could lose everything.” He picked up his bag and rifled through it. “Well, almost everything.”
“What do you mean?”
Without looking up at me, he laughed. “I’m off for two days when we get back to move into a hotel.”
My eyes went wide. “I thought you said you had time?”
After finding the nice jeans that stressed his bulge, he said, “We fought when I got home on Saturday. She said it was time. And honestly, I’m exhausted and want out myself.”
“Damn, man. I’m sorry. Didn’t realize it would be so sudden.”
“Neither did I,” he said with a smile that didn’t match his voice.
“I can help you move if you need it.”
He chuckled while slipping his shirt on. “No need, but thanks. I’m not taking much with me. Just clothes and personal effects. I appreciate the offer, though. For real.”
“Yeah, man. I got you.”
He smiled again. “Thanks.” He inhaled. “Ok, get dressed. I don’t want them waiting on us.”