Chapter Eleven
Iglance at myself in the mirror one last time, adjusting the sleek, form-fitting black blazer I’m wearing. Beneath it, I wear nothing but a lacy black bra. Paired with tailored black pants that hug my curves and strappy heels that elongate my legs. My long red hair cascades down my back, and I’ve kept my makeup light.
As I step out of my apartment, I find Sawyer waiting by the limousine. He’s wearing a tailored suit that makes his impressive body look incredible, his beard is neatly groomed, and his long hair is gathered on top of his head. His jaw is set in a determined line, his eyes focused ahead. But as he sees me approaching, his demeanor softens, and a small smile plays on his lips. Stepping forward, he leans in to press a gentle kiss on my cheek before offering me his hand to help me inside the car.
He’s so smooth I almost believe the lie we’re concocting. At least until I remember his demand last night. I have no problem being naked if that’s what he wants, that’s not what kept me awake last night. It’s the way he studied my scars. Like he saw more than just the remnants on my skin, and I don’t like that.
During the drive to the studio, neither of us speaks. The weight of our impending interview hangs heavy in the air, and I can feel my nerves beginning to fray at the edges. But I push aside the doubt, forcing myself to stay composed.
As we pull up to the studio, the paparazzi descend upon us like a swarm of locusts, shouting questions from every angle.
“Sawyer, is it true that you and Lucia are dating?”
“Lucia, how does it feel to be dating one of the hottest hockey players in the league?”
“Are you two planning to get married soon?”
“Lucia, can you give us any details about your relationship with Sawyer?”
“Are you guys planning on starting a family?”
“Sawyer, do you have any comments on the rumors about your relationship with Lucia being a PR stunt?”
“Oh my God, is that an engagement ring you’re wearing, Lucia?”
I keep my head down, pretending I didn’t notice the last question. It’s not an engagement ring, obviously. But it is a diamond on my left ring finger. With any luck, people will draw their own conclusions. I know it’s desperate and somewhat foolish, but right now, I don’t have anything else. Nothing else I can do to move my plan along.
I feel Sawyer’s hand slip into mine, his touch offering a small but comforting anchor amidst the chaos. Together, we navigate through the throng of reporters. I thought I was prepared for this, but as I struggle not to acknowledge or answer any of the questions, I get a new appreciation for what it’s like for the players. These reporters are relentless, and no question is too personal or off-limits.
Finally, we make it inside the building, where we are greeted by the station manager. His smile is warm but tinged with a hint of anticipation. “Welcome, Sawyer and Lucia,” he says, extending a hand to each of us. “We’re thrilled to have you here for the interview. Follow me, please. We have a waiting area set up for you before you go on stage.”
We’re led to a cozy lounge area where he tells us to wait until the host couple calls for us. Sawyer takes a seat on one of the plush sofas, and I join him. Though my immediate reaction is to sit with distance between us, I sit so close our arms touch.
With every minute we’re waiting, my nerves grow stronger. “Relax,” Sawyer breathes, taking my hand and squeezing it. “You’ll be fine. And if you run out of things to say, talk about my stats.”
I look up at him from beneath my lashes, unsure of what to say. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be, and the interview hasn’t even started yet. So, yeah, I’m grateful for Sawyer’s small act of kindness. “Thank you,” I murmur.
After what feels like an eternity, the station manager returns with a nod. “They’re ready for you now. Just follow me, and I’ll take you to the stage.” We rise from our seats, exchanging a final glance before following the station manager out of the lounge and toward the stage.
As we step onto the stage, the bright lights of the studio blind me momentarily, and I can feel the electric energy of the live audience wash over me. The roar of the crowd fills the air, a cacophony of cheers and applause that reverberates through the room.
Sawyer’s arm is wrapped securely around my waist, his touch offering a steady anchor for me to lean on, and I feel a wave of gratitude wash over me as I lean into him, the weight of the moment almost too much to bear. My heart is racing, and despite the cool air of the studio, I can feel sweat trickling down the back of my neck.
But Sawyer’s presence beside me is a reassuring constant, his strength bolstering me as we make our way across the stage. With each step, I can feel myself sagging against him, needing his support to keep moving forward.
The host couple smiles warmly at us, but the thunderous applause of the audience drowns out whatever they were trying to say. I force myself to straighten up, to plaster a smile on my face and project an air of confidence, even as my nerves threaten to overwhelm me.
Reaching the area the host couple is waiting in, they pull us in for hugs and cheek kisses. “Sawyer, Lucia, it’s wonderful to have you here with us tonight,” the female host, Cammy, says, her voice filled with warmth. “We’re excited to hear all about your relationship.”
As soon as we begin, I notice the easy rapport between the hosts, Cammy and Cam. Their chemistry is palpable, and it’s clear that they’re not just professional partners but also a couple in real life. The set of the show, aptly named “The Cams Know,” exudes an aura of intimacy, with cozy seating arrangements and soft lighting that adds to the atmosphere.
“So, Sawyer and Lucia,” Cammy begins with a playful grin, “rumors have been swirling about your relationship ever since you two became a known item. Care to shed some light on any of the juicy gossip?”
Sawyer chuckles, his arm tightening around me. “Well, you know how it is with the paparazzi,” he replies, his tone light. “They love to speculate about everything.”
I nod in agreement, trying to keep the smile on my face despite the butterflies in my stomach. “Exactly. But the truth is, our relationship is just like any other. We’re two people who care about each other and enjoy spending time together.”
Cam leans forward, his expression curious. “But what about the rumors that your relationship is just for show? That it’s all a publicity stunt?”
I feel a surge of frustration at the question, but I force myself to remain composed. “Those rumors couldn’t be further from the truth,” I say firmly, meeting Cam’s gaze head-on. “Our relationship is genuine, and while there may be outside pressures and expectations, at the end of the day, we’re in this together.”
Cammy nods in understanding, her expression sympathetic. “It must be tough to deal with all the scrutiny and speculation,” she says, her tone empathetic. “But it seems like you two are handling it all with grace and dignity.”
Sawyer gives me a reassuring squeeze, and I smile gratefully at him. “We’re doing our best,” he says, his voice sincere.
“Well, sweet as that all sounds, we all want to know how an NHL star comes to date one of the Sabertooths’ PR account executives.”
I swallow thickly before answering. “I’m afraid it’s not that interesting, really. We started bonding last year during some away games—”
“You mean while he still slept with one… what are they called… puck bunny after the other?”
Forcing a giggle, I rest my head on Sawyer’s shoulder. “We all have a past, Cam. The good thing about Sawyer is that there are no surprises.”
“Aww,” Cammy coos, placing her hand on her heart. “That’s so sweet. So would you say you’re okay with knowing your boyfriend has a bit of an edgy reputation?”
I press my lips together and lean forward. “I’m not sure I would say I’m okay with it. But you know what it’s like. Woman to woman, it’s not fun. But I will say this, the fact that he’s so honest and upfront about it made it easier to deal with.”
“Wow,” Cam adds. “Sounds like you got lucky there, Sawyer.”
“Lucia’s an incredible woman,” he says, running his hand down my back. “I’m lucky I’ve found her.”
The hosts make more comments and gush about how cute we look as we sit here on the couch. I take that moment to scratch my cheek with my left hand, flaunting the diamond I’m wearing. “Wait, what’s that on your hand? Are you two… engaged?” Cammy asks, shock palpable in her voice.
I wink at her. “Of course not.”
Sawyer looks at my hand like it’s mortally offended him. “No,” he simply says.
Both hosts look at us with doubt written all over their faces. “Well, okay then,” Cam says, clearing his throat.
Then they play some kind of video montage on the screen behind us, it’s flicking through pictures of us from last year. Luckily, we are walking alongside each other in some of them, which I guess could look like we’re talking? I don’t know.
“Now pause it,” Cam exclaims. The video stops on a picture of Sawyer holding the door for me and Jo. His gaze is very clearly on my ass. “If that’s not a man checking out a prime piece of ass, I don’t know what to call it.”
The men in the audience all let out raucous laughs, and the women sigh in contentment. I look at Sawyer and run my hand down his cheek. “Guess we weren’t being as discreet as we hoped,” I laugh.
As the interview progresses, Cammy and Cam announce that they’ll be taking questions from the audience. A wave of anticipation ripples through the crowd as eager hands shoot up, vying for the chance to interact with us.
Cammy selects a woman from the audience, who stands up eagerly, her eyes fixed on Sawyer. “Hi, Sawyer and Lucia,” she begins, her voice tinged with excitement. “I just wanted to say that you two make such a cute couple. But I have to ask, is Sawyer definitely off the market? Because if not, I’d be more than happy to marry him!”
The audience erupts into laughter at her boldness, and I feel a surge of amusement despite the awkwardness of the situation. Sawyer flashes a charming smile, his arm tightening around me as he responds. “Well, I appreciate the offer,” he says, his tone light. “But I’m afraid I’m happily taken. Lucia and I are in a committed relationship, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
A smile tugs at the woman’s lips as she nods in understanding. “Well, I had to try!” she says with a laugh, before taking her seat amidst the applause of the audience.
As the audience settles down from the previous question, Cam scans the sea of eager faces and selects a man in the back. “You there, what’s your question?”
“Yes, hi. My question is for Lucia.”
My heart leaps to my throat.
That voice… no. It can’t be. But even as I’m thinking that, I feel a chill down my spine. My body remembers him better than I ever wanted to. Fabian. I can’t believe he’s here, that he’s found me. Panic sets in as I discreetly try to get a good look. I can’t, though. Without writhing like a circus contortionist, which definitely wouldn’t be discreet, I can’t see him.
I don’t need to see him to imagine his cruel smile, it’s forever etched into my memory. I begin to fidget, my grip on Sawyer’s hand tightening so much that my nails dig into his skin. Sawyer immediately notices my unease and squeezes my hand reassuringly, but other than that he doesn’t give anything away.
“And what’s your name?” Cam asks the man, completely oblivious to my rising panic. “Do you maybe want to remove your hat so we can see your face?”
“John,” he lies. “And no. I prefer to be anonymous. I just wanted to say that I’m impressed with how Lucia embraces Sawyer’s past. It’s commendable that you two are being so honest with each other.”
My heart pounds in my chest, my mind racing as I try to keep up with the sudden turn of events.
“So, my question is for Lucia,” Fabian, or John as he claims his name is, continues, his voice dripping with arrogance and insincerity. “Have you been just as honest about your past, Lucia?”
His words send another shiver down my spine, and I feel a lump forming in my throat. I search for the right words as I struggle to maintain my composure. I know I can’t blow the interview, but the fear of Fabian unraveling everything threatens to consume me.
I try to gather my thoughts, but Fabian’s presence overwhelms me. Memories of our tumultuous past flood my mind, each one more haunting than the last. He’s always been a master manipulator, capable of twisting the truth to suit his own agenda. I can’t let him derail everything I’ve worked so hard for, but the fear of what he might reveal gnaws at me.
Glancing at Sawyer, I’m hoping for some semblance of reassurance. “I have no reason not to believe Lucia’s been completely honest with me,” he answers easily, leaning in like he’s about to kiss my cheek. “What the fuck’s going on, Lucia? Who’s he?” The words are barely a whisper.
“I...” I begin, my voice faltering as I struggle to find the words. I can’t tell anyone about Fabian. Not now, not ever. I can barely form a coherent thought, let alone string a sentence together. For a moment, my vision swims, making me feel like the onslaught of emotions is going to pull me under.
Luckily, I’m spared from having to answer when Sawyer stands up, taking the opportunity to divert attention away from Fabian’s question. “Actually,” he interjects, his voice projecting confidence, “Lucia and I have some exciting news to share with everyone.”
The audience’s attention shifts, curiosity piqued as they turn their focus toward Sawyer.
“We’ve decided to take the next step in our relationship,” he continues, his gaze locking with mine. “We’re moving in together.”
A wave of murmurs ripples through the audience, followed by a round of applause and cheers. I feel a surge of gratitude toward Sawyer for his quick thinking, grateful that he’s managed to steer the conversation away from dangerous territory.
“Oh my God,” Cammy squeals. “Is that why the two of you made your relationship public?”
“I told you there was a reason for their timing,” Cam interjects, lovingly poking his partner and co-host.
As the applause dies down, Cammy and Cam wrap up the interview, thanking us for joining them on “The Cams Know.”
With one last smile for the audience, we rise from our seats and make our way off the stage, the weight of Fabian’s question still lingering in the air. I might have dodged the proverbial bullet on stage, but I have no doubt Sawyer and Jo are going to dig deeper.
Proving how right I was, we barely make it into the limo waiting for us before there’s a text from Jo.
Jo: What the fuck, Lucia? My office tomorrow!!!
Me: What time?
Jo: 9am or kiss your job goodbye. This is a disaster, Lucia.
Another text comes in, and this time our phones ping at the same time.
Tom: When I said to come up with a reasonable explanation, I never thought you’d take it to this level. But as long as you’re both comfortable with it, I support it.
The look Sawyer sends my way is so dark it makes chills run down my spine. Fuck, I’m in trouble. Just as I’m about to tell the limo driver to take me home, Sawyer exhales angrily and leans forward, asking the limo driver to take us to his place. I want to tell him no, explain that I want to go home. Still too shocked about Fabian’s appearance, I can’t make my mouth speak the words, so I just sit there, feeling like I’m awaiting my execution.
Sawyer’s so fucking angry his hands are shaking. Seriously, he looks like he wants to punch something. I can only imagine the questions swirling around in his head, I’m sure some of them match my own. I want to know how Fabian found me, and how he knew to show up for the interview.
“Sawyer,” I hear myself say, and he rounds on me.
“No!” he bellows. “I don’t want to fucking hear it. Do you have any idea what just happened?”
I take a step back, biting down on my bottom lip. “Is this about the engagement? I swear I never thought… it’s just a piece of jewelry.”
Sawyer scoffs. “I find that fucking hard to believe. But no, this isn’t about the engagement. They were going to say that eventually, anyway.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh,” he says mockingly.
“If this is about that man, he—”
He interrupts me with a growl. “That man? Is that what we’re going to call him? Who is he?”
I look down at my feet. “He’s nobody.”
Before I can react, he lunges at me, his hand wrapping around my throat. He pushes me backward until my back hits the wall, and I let out a soft gasp. “Wanna try that again?” he asks, his voice dangerously low. “If he was truly nobody, why did he scare you so much?”
“He didn’t scare me,” I reply, lifting my chin defiantly. “Just surprised me. That’s all.”
“Do. Not. Fucking. Lie. To. Me,” he shouts. “Who is he, Lucia?”
“Let go of me.”
“Who is he?”
Deciding to change tactics before the situation gets out of hand, I lick my lips, meeting his gaze head-on. “You’re keeping me from complying with your rules.”
“I’m… what?”
I wrap my fingers around his wrist and pull, surprising both of us with my sudden boldness. “You told me to always be naked,” I purr as I unbutton my blazer and toss it to the floor. “But I can’t do that when you’re manhandling me, can I?”
Surprise is visible in his features, and I take full advantage of it. I feel his eyes on me as I undress, and a part of me revels in the attention. Once I’m completely naked, I let my hand rest on my hip, covering the burn mark only my family and husband have seen.
“Remove your hand,” he says, his tone demanding.
“No,” I hiss. “Your demand was for me to get naked. You said nothing about where I could place my hands. And since I’m not using them to cover up, I think I’ll continue to stand like this.”
I see the surprise in his eyes, and I know I’ve caught him off guard. It’s empowering, and I refuse to back down now.
“This just got a helluva lot more interesting,” he says, his voice filled with a hint of intrigue.
I raise an eyebrow, challenging him to say more. But he remains silent for so long I think I’ve won this round.
“Fine,” he finally says, shrugging. “But you threw your body into the deal. And I can’t fuck you when you stand like that.”
I almost laugh at his bluntness. “You want to fuck me?”
“Why not?” he replies with indifference. “It’s not like you’re going to bore me to sleep by telling me who John is. So might as well fuck you before I go to bed.”
I’m taken aback by his cruel words, and if I’m completely honest, I’m hurt. Dammit, I shouldn’t be hurt. This is Sawyer, a means to my end. He’s not someone who I should allow to have this power over me. Since I refuse to let him see the effect his words have on me, and I definitely won’t allow myself to really feel said effect, I play it off with a shrug.
“Fine,” I say, throwing my hands up in the air. “Where do you want to fuck me? On the floor? In your bed? Against the wall?”
His smirk tells me that I just acted how he wanted me to, and I fucking hate that he played me. Without a word, Sawyer crooks his finger in a ‘come here’ motion, and I follow him into the spare bedroom where I blew him after waking up there.
“Lie down on your back and spread your legs,” he says. His tone is monotone, like we’re discussing the weather or something inconsequential and boring. A shiver of anticipation runs down my spine as I do what he says. Sawyer follows me, lying on his side next to me while using his hand to hold his head up.
“So, Lucia Carter,” he rasps, placing his hand on my upper thigh. “You’re not originally from Minneapolis or Minnesota, are you?”
“No,” I answer, cursing inwardly when my voice wavers. “I’m from—”
“Before you answer, I want you to understand something. Something that’s non-negotiable.”
I let out a shaky breath. “What’s that?”
He lets go of my thigh and pulls at the elastic band, holding his hair up, letting it out of his signature man-bun before answering. “I don’t want you to lie to me. If there’s something you don’t want to answer, be honest and say that. I know your social media accounts claim you’re from Kansas, but we both know that’s a lie.”
The way he looks at me is alarming, and I don’t like where this is going. Every instinct in my body screams at me to put some distance between us, but I refuse to bow down. “You’re right,” I say, earnestly.
Sawyer moves his hand to my lower stomach, the tips of his fingers ghosting across my skin as he nods, seemingly satisfied with my answer. “Why lie about where you’re from?”
Resisting the urge to roll my eyes at the stupid question, I quip, “Because I don’t want people to know where I’m from.” He chuckles wryly and slides his hand between my legs, cupping my naked sex. I shudder and my nipples immediately stand at attention. “What are you—”
He shushes me before I can finish talking. “I’ll be asking the questions tonight,” he replies. “Tell me, Lucia, how old are you?”
Sawyer runs a finger through my folds, and I hate that I’m wet for him. “Twenty-seven,” I moan as he finds my clit and slowly rolls it in circles.
“What do your parents do?” he asks, almost giving me whiplash from the change in our conversation.
“I don’t want to talk about my parents while you’re touching me,” I say incredulously. When he removes his finger, my hips lift from the bed, chasing his hand.
“Looks like you don’t really want me to stop,” he observes. “Want me to continue?”
I throw my arm over my eyes. “Yes,” I admit in a small voice.
“Then remove your fucking arm and answer the question.”
“I don’t know what my mom does with her time, and my dad is dead.” His finger immediately returns, picking right back up. My reward for answering.
“Any brothers or sisters?”
“I… I…” Fuck, words are hard when he’s expertly playing with my needy nub. “Too many to count. I come from an enormous family. Just the immediate family alone is more than thirty people.”
He tilts his head to the side, giving me an appreciative look. “I believe you so far.”
Then he moves his hand so two fingers are prodding against my opening. “Please,” I moan, ashamed of how needy I sound. Then I remember what he just said. “Is this a test?” I ask, genuinely curious about what he’s hoping to achieve with these questions.
Sawyer slides his fingers inside my cunt, curling them when they’re all the way inside me. I moan and arch my back. “You’re so pretty when you’re consumed by what I can do to your body,” he rasps.
Then he shifts so he can kiss and lick his way down my neck and all the way to my chest. He leaves a wet trail of saliva behind that he blows on, making me shiver. I moan as he sucks my nipple into his hot mouth, grazing the sensitive skin with his teeth.
“Not a test,” he answers around my nipple in his mouth. He lets go with a pop and elaborates. “Your evasive answer about your parents means you aren’t close with your mom. Neither am I, by the way. And knowing you have a big family should mean you’re comfortable in a crowd. Which you were tonight, at least until John showed up.”
Well fuck, he’s noticing a lot more than I’ve given him credit for, and I’m not sure how to feel about that. But I lose the ability to think straight when he pumps his fingers harder into me. Without thinking, I move my hand to the back of his head, holding him against my chest. My breath hitching as he lazily licks my areola.
The intimacy of the position hits me hard, and I immediately let go, pushing him back so there’s more distance between us. Needing to remember this is nothing more than a transaction, I pick the conversation back up with a question of my own. “Why do you need to know those things about me?” He’s looking straight at my exposed sex, and for some reason that’s turning me on and making my voice breathier. “Wouldn’t it be better to ask me… I don’t know. More specific questions?”
“And why would I do that?” He finally looks up, staring at me through dark, fiery orbs. “Anyone can look into you and learn what your first pet was, or how old you were when you got your first period.”
That’s probably true enough, except my past is hidden by the Don of my family. Then again, with Fabian turning up tonight, maybe I’ve taken that for granted. Shit, now that my husband’s found me, I’m in an even bigger hurry than I thought.
Sawyer pulls his fingers out of me and lifts the hand to his lips. “You never answered me the other day, Lucia. So I guess I have to find out for myself.”
I ignore the dark reminder as I watch Sawyer lick his fingers clean, which is as obscene as it is hot. His eyes flutter closed, and he groans as the taste of my pussy hits his taste buds. Fuck, the sight is making me even wetter and I’m seriously contemplating begging him to fuck me. Sex is part of our deal, so I don’t imagine he’d need much persuasion.
Before I can form the words, he gets off the bed and rids himself of his clothes until he’s standing in only his boxer briefs. Without looking away, he crawls onto the bed and settles himself between my spread legs. My breath hitches as excitement spreads through my body.
As if reading my thoughts, he rasps. “I’m not going to fuck you tonight. But I promise to make you come.”
“O-okay,” I stutter, his words barely registering. I wrap my legs around his waist, trying to push him closer as he grinds his boxer-covered hardness against my pussy. “Sawyer.”
Rutting into me like an animal, he leans down so our chests are pressed together, resting his weight on his forearms on either side of my head so he’s not crushing me. The coarse hair on his chest feels amazing against my sensitive nipples, and I moan unashamedly loud at the contact. Paired with the movements of his hips, my pleasure soars higher, taking me closer to the peak I’m desperate to fall over.
“Mhmm, Sawyer,” I moan, my eyes closing. I’m almost there… just a little bit more.
As my body tightens and my orgasm is so close I can practically taste it, Sawyer slows down. “Who’s John?” he rasps.
The words are like cold water on my hot skin. “What did you just say?”
He doesn’t answer me, instead he grinds into me faster and harder. The tip of his cock hitting me just right. Once again, I feel my pleasure building.
“Who’s John?”
I cry out in disappointment and anger when he robs me of my orgasm again. “You bastard!” I scream, balling my hands into fists. “Get off me.”
He continues the unbearable torture, taking me right to the edge before repeating his question. I try to hide when I’m close both by holding my breath and forcing my limbs to remain unmoving. But he knows. I don’t know how, but he fucking knows and stops every time before I can come.
“Suit yourself,” he smirks when I deny him for the sixth time.
Shifting, so his cock isn’t hitting my clit, only my opening and lips, he groans. Then he continues rutting against me until he curses and becomes tense. It takes me a second to realize he just came. The bastard fucking came without giving me the orgasm he promised me, and has been teasing me with for God only knows how long.
“You’re such a fucking jerk,” I hiss, pushing against his chest.
He laughs, but doesn’t budge. “I gave you the opportunity. Not my fault you didn’t take it, baby. But I’ll give you one last chance.”
Before I can ask him what he means, he shuffles down until his head is perched between my spread legs. “No,” I shriek, panic setting in. I try to close my legs, but of course I can’t do that when he’s resting there and has no intention of stopping his torture.
Sawyer frowns. “Calm down,” he says so matter-of-factly, I would laugh if I wasn’t busy fighting the dread I’m feeling.
“Not again,” I cry. “Please, Sawyer. I’ll tell you anything you want to know, just… please don’t do this.”
“Lucia.” I can barely hear him over the thundering beat of my heart. “Lucia. Hey, it’s okay.”
It’s not okay. He’s still down there, and the last time anyone was in that position… no, I can’t think about it.
Breathe, Lucia.
You’re stronger than this.
Don’t let him see you like this.
Pull yourself the fuck together!
“Lucia!”
Wait, this is Sawyer and not Fabian.
Doesn’t matter, I can’t fight him in this position.
I can’t let him get that close.
“No!” I scream again, thrashing and bucking to get him to let go.
I’m vaguely aware I’m being jostled, and then I feel warm arms engulf me, holding me tight while he whispers my name over and over. “Come on, Lucia. Breathe for me. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t know.”
Slowly, I peel my eyelids back, and as I look around, I realize it’s Sawyer holding me. But it wasn’t him before, was it? Yes, I think it was. Fuck, that means I just allowed my trauma to show my weakness to someone who can’t be trusted with it.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I don’t know what happened.” It’s a pathetic lie, but right now, it’s all I’ve got.
“You don’t know what happened?” he asks, incredulously. “You just freaked the fuck out and screamed bloody murder. That’s what happened.”
Taking a shuddering breath, I admit, “I know.”
He strokes my hair. “Wanna tell me what that was all about?” I shake my head vehemently. “Okay. Do you just want to go to sleep?”
“Please,” I croak, feeling too out of sorts, too emotionally exhausted to continue this conversation. When I feel him shift, I take his hand and hold it. “Don’t go, please.”
I have no idea where the words come from, and frankly, it doesn’t matter. My guards are down, exposing me, making me vulnerable. Tomorrow I’ll rebuild my mental walls and make them stronger. But for now, I need someone to stay with me so I’m not left with my own thoughts. And even though it’s not ideal, Sawyer’s better than being alone.
Sawyer stills. “Just for tonight.”
Yeah, just for tonight.
His big hand rests on my stomach, gently stroking the soft skin, and I gradually relax, counting his breaths. We’re both ignoring his growing hardness nestled against my ass. It’s… I don’t think I’ve ever laid like this with someone else, and a part of me is happy it’s Sawyer.