Chapter Twenty
Waking up with Lucia draped all over me is like heaven on earth. As I inhale deeply, I’m greeted by her intoxicating scent—a blend of sweet vanilla, very unlike the woman herself. There’s nothing vanilla about my sweet bunny, or the sex we have. A grin spreads across my lips as I look down at her naked body, the dried blood on her chest a stark reminder of last night. Or this morning.
I’ve been awake for a couple of hours, content to just watch her. It’s a weird feeling knowing even asleep, she’s demanding my attention—calling to me in a way I never thought possible. The quietness has given me time to contemplate the way I woke her up when I came back, and as soon as she’s awake, I’m going to need answers.
“I can feel you staring,” Lucia murmurs sleepily. “Cut it out.” She burrows her face against my chest and throws her leg around me.
Laughter rumbles in my chest. “Now, why would I do that when I enjoy watching you so much, bunny?” Bending my leg, I force the leg she has wound around me higher on my hips. It gives me better access to her core. Moving my hand down between us, I cup her cunt, letting one finger trail along the folds. “Your pussy doesn’t seem annoyed with me,” I observe as I push two digits inside her.
She whimpers as I curl my fingers, easily finding the spot inside her that makes her so fucking hungry for me.
“That feels so good,” she moans, gyrating her hips.
“Yeah?” I rasp, continuing to push my fingers in and out of her so slowly I know it’s going to drive her insane. “Better than waking up with my mouth on your pretty pussy?”
Her pussy tightens around my fingers at the same time as her breath hitches. “N-not better,” she stutters.
Adding a third finger, I stretch her walls. “So my naughty bunny enjoyed being woken up like that?”
“Yes. I loved it.”
She tilts her face up, and I waste no time claiming her lips. I bite down on her bottom lip, then suck it into my mouth to soothe the sting. “I thought you didn’t let anyone eat you out,” I ask, needing to know why last night was okay so I can ensure an encore.
“Really?” Lucia huffs, pulling back so she’s looking at me. “You want to interrogate me with your fingers buried in my pussy?”
My bunny has such a way with words. “Seems like the perfect time,” I smirk. Then I move my thumb to her clit, rolling it in perfect synchronicity with my fingers inside her.
“It’s not the act but the position,” she says.
“Explain.”
She whimpers, chasing my fingers as I slowly pull them out before pushing them all the way inside her hole. “You’ve seen the scars, Sy. When I… when he… fuck. When he made them, I was on my back, my legs forcefully spread while he licked my pussy.”
“Who?” I snap, hating that I don’t know who this mysterious ‘he’ is. If I’m completely honest, what I hate is that neither of us are willing to say the name. But I need her to tell me so I know whether my suspicions are right or not.
Shaking her head, Lucia bites down on her lip. “Don’t make me say his name.”
“Bunny—”
“No,” she screams. “I don’t want to say it while you’re making me feel so fucking good. Don’t you understand? I don’t want to taint what we have.”
And now I feel like a fucking asshole for trying to get her to open up with my fingers buried inside her. “Sorry,” I murmur. “Let me make it up to you.”
Her pussy tightens around my fingers. “Make me come and we’ll call it even.”
I don’t know whether I admire or hate the way she’s able to compartmentalize. Both? Neither? Doesn’t matter, though. She’s earned the most intense orgasm of her life, and I’ll be the one giving it to her.
“Ass in the air,” I command, nipping at the skin on her neck. Lucia scrambles out of my embrace, getting on all fours with her ass up high. What a fucking sight. I line myself up behind her, reaching for her long hair and winding it around my hand, forcing her to bend her neck backward. Then, with no warning, I slam into her soaked pussy. “Christ, you feel fucking amazing.”
Arching her back, she moans unashamedly as I fuck her in an almost punishing rhythm, and she meets me thrust for thrust, wanting as much of me as I do of her.
“Shit… I’m gonna… I’m gonna…” Her desperate moans turn to mewls. Her body shakes while her pink hole squeezes me so tight I know I’m about to join her.
“That’s it, sweet bunny. Come all over my cock. Milk the cum from my balls,” I grind out. A guttural groan is torn from my chest as Lucia orgasms, her cunt clenching around me like a vise. My dick swells and twitches inside her, and I pant her name as I find my own release. “Lucia. Fuck.”
When I’m no longer coming, I let go of her hair and she immediately collapses onto the bed in a panting heap. I quickly join her, shuffling her so her head rests on my chest. We lie there, all tangled up, while catching our breath.
“My sweet bunny,” I murmur, pressing a kiss to the top of her hair.
She’s quiet for so long, I’m beginning to think she’s fallen back asleep. Then she shifts so she can look up at me. “Why did you stop using a condom?”
Despite asking myself that question many times, I don’t have a good reason. Well, I have a good one, just not a… logical one. “Because I wanted nothing between us,” I answer truthfully.
“Aren’t you afraid I’ll get pregnant?” she asks, quirking an eyebrow at me.
I shrug. “Not really.”
Her mouth becomes slack as she stares at me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m joking. “Sawyer,” she hisses. “That’s not funny at all.” Now that she’s not using her nickname for me, I miss it.
Raising my hand, I sweep her hair back so it isn’t covering her beautiful face. “I’m not laughing,” I deadpan. “Why didn’t you ask me to use one if you’re scared you’d get pregnant?”
Lucia rolls her eyes, swirling a finger through the hairs on my chest. “I’m not scared of that. I’m on the pill. But you didn’t know that.”
No, I didn’t. I just didn’t care anymore. Shrugging, I place her hand on top of mine and move our joined hands to my heart. “You’re mine, wife. If you become pregnant, I’m sure I’ll love being a dad.”
Scoffing, she pulls away, wrapping the sheet around her. I growl, annoyed she’s hiding her body from me. “You don’t love me, Sawyer. Stop trying to make this…” She gestures between us. “… More than a convenient arrangement by dressing it up as something romantic.”
Before she can get off the bed, I reach for her and pull her back to me by the hair. “Let’s get one thing straight, bunny,” I say, my tone deceptively sweet. “Love is for teenagers or people who believe in fairy tales. I said I was yours and you agreed you’re mine. What did you think those words meant? Maybe it’s love, or maybe it’s something more.”
“Sawyer, that’s not—”
Wrapping my other hand around her throat, I squeeze until her eyes widen. “That’s not what? Hmm? You meant it as much as I did, baby. Don’t pretend otherwise now just because you’re scared.”
Her nails dig into my wrist. I ease my grip, eager to hear what she has to say. “Fuck you,” she spits. Hmm, guess I could have done without hearing that.
“Give me another few minutes to recover, and you can jump back on if you want another go,” I smirk, gesturing at my crotch. “Is that what you need? My dick inside you, to be honest?”
Emotion dances across her green eyes, but it’s not anger. It’s… defeat? Longing? Fuck if I know. She takes a deep, shuddering breath and closes her eyes. When she opens them again, they’re glassy with unshed tears. “Fine,” she whispers. “You win. Is that what you want to hear?”
“It’s not a competition, sweet bunny.” Running a finger beneath her eye, I catch a tear. Looking at it, I feel like I’m watching part of her very essence. And being the greedy fucker I am when it comes to her, I lick it off the tip of my finger. “What I want to hear is the truth.”
“I don’t love you,” she spits defiantly. “But I… ahh, I don’t know. I do feel something for you.”
“Are you mine?” I ask, not caring one bit about her ramblings.
“Y-yes,” she admits. Then she lifts her chin, baring her teeth. “But you’re mine too, Sy. I swear, if you make a fool out of me, you’ll regret it.”
Nodding, I lock my gaze on hers. “I’ve never claimed another person before. I’ve sure as fuck never said I belong to someone else. So trust me, baby. I’m taking this very seriously.”
“How serious?” she asks, lifting her chin stubbornly.
I chuckle darkly. “You want me to measure my feelings for you? I’m not sure there are any measurements big enough, wife.”
“Will you remain married to me when our time is up?” A tremor makes her shudder against me as she asks her question.
“Is that what you’re worried about, hmm?” I cup her face, holding it still so I can look into her green eyes. Eyes that are swirling with emotions I don’t understand. The last thing I want is for her to freak out, to bolt. “I’m never divorcing you, Lucia. You’re it for me. You might not be ready to say it, but I want you to hear it. I love you.”
Lucia stiffens, her eyes flutter closed. “You don’t know what you’re saying,” she spits, sounding… insulted.
What the actual fuck is going on right now? “Look at me, sweet bunny.”
I shake my head, unable to look at him right now.
This isn’t fair at all. Sy’s just given me everything I wanted, yet I can’t make myself take it. The icy grip around my heart and the hollowness in my stomach makes it impossible to accept the keys to my freedom.
Gail was wrong; I’m not strong and I’ve definitely been broken. My mind is hard-wired to think about survival, not love. And here I am with the perfect man, unable to believe or accept the fact he apparently loves me and… that I love him too. It’s the only explanation for the way he makes my heart race and the loneliness I feel when we’re not together.
“Lucia,” Sy cajoles. “Look at me.”
Shaking my head again, I let go of the tears building behind my eyelids. “Make me tell you,” I whisper, too cowardly to look at him. “Do what you did last night. Bleed the truth from me. Please, Sy.” My voice cracks, much like my heart does.
I don’t want to tell him what’s in my heart, but I need to. He’s my husband, and I don’t want to lose him before we even have a chance to see what we could be. I want him to hear the words, just as I want him to know the truth about Fabian. The mattress dips as he moves around, then he pulls me into his lap so my back rests against his front.
“Tell me the truth about who hurt you, sweet bunny,” he rasps. I stiffen. That’s not the truth I was referring to.
But as I feel a sting followed by the warmth of my blood, I feel compelled to answer truthfully. As I choke out his name, “Fabian,” my voice trembles with emotion, each syllable a painful admission of the past I carry. “He’s the one who... who did this to me,” I confess, feeling the weight of his actions etched into the scars on my inner thighs.
My heart constricts with a tumultuous blend of sorrow and rage. Sorrow for the pain I endured, and rage directed at the man who inflicted such torment upon me. Sy wraps one arm around my middle, forcing me to stay in place. He curses viciously under his breath. “That fucking gutless piece of shit. I’ll kill him for doing that to you.”
His words thaw at the ice around my heart, the wall I erected years ago and only partially let Gail through. A sob escapes me. “You can’t,” I cry out. “He… he…” At a loss for what to say or how to explain this mess, I trail off and shake my head.
“Look at me.” This time I don’t hide behind my eyelids. Craning my neck, I look at my husband over my shoulder. “I don’t give a shit about who he is or what he can do. He hurt you. You. He’ll pay, it’s that simple.”
A promise of violence and retribution shines from Sy’s dark orbs. I let out a strangled cry and twist in his hold so I’m facing him. Then I finally give voice to what I feel in my heart. “I love you, too.”
Our lips meld together in a fiery union, setting my senses ablaze with an intoxicating fervor. My fingers curl around the ends of Sy’s hair, pulling him closer as I surrender to the electrifying sensation coursing through my veins.
Sy’s embrace is possessive, his arms wrapping around me with a fierce desire that leaves me breathless. Lost in the moment’s intensity, I savor the taste of his lips, the rhythm of our breaths syncing in perfect harmony.
“I love you,” I murmur again. “You’re my husband now and always, and I love you.”
He growls, biting down on my bottom lip. “Now and always,” he echoes.