Chapter 47 Kaden
KADEN
I never realized the depths of Samkiel’s quiet, violent nature.
There were stories that hinted at it, and I guess it made sense.
Such a bright light could not exist without darkness, and Oblivion was something beyond darkness.
I swallowed, unable to forget the panic I’d felt when he’d walked through that door at the eatery.
I thought I was having a waking nightmare.
No one else reacted like I had, and they still didn’t.
Did they not see how Oblivion clung to him like a second skin?
It snapped and struck at anything that came too close.
How it dipped and dived beneath his skin like a mammal breaking the waves in the ocean.
He was Oblivion down to his marrow. I was sure of it.
Cold sweat slicked my skin again, and I rubbed my hands together as I heard the crunch of snow behind me.
“I fucking hate this,” Isaiah growled, coming to my side. I looked at him as he scowled at the world. The fire behind us was long dead, smoke curling from the embers, but the moons above lit the world with a silvery light.
“Do you think we will hear or feel them fucking?”
I said nothing. Samkiel had used that godly magic to erect three tents for us.
He’d kept ours near enough that they could hear if Isaiah or I decided to flee in the dead of the night.
Unfortunately, night had barely fallen before I heard …
I’d risen and walked away, unwilling to put myself through the torture of listening to them together.
I did not blame him. Samkiel was running off pure hatred for us, and his every instinct was pushing him to claim what was his in front of those who’d threatened to take it.
How could I convince them I was no longer a threat?
The great and evil Kaden had fallen on that battlefield, and when he came back, he came back wrong.
“Hear, yes. Feel? No.” A rough snort left my nostrils. “We’ll keep practicing on teaching you how to block.”
“I am so glad we don’t feel that, but gods, I’d also prefer not to hear,” Isaiah sneered, wrapping his arms around himself. His breath curled from his lips as the night grew colder.
“Agreed,” I said, folding my arms.
He tossed a wary look at me. “This must be really hard for you since you’re still in love with her.”
I said nothing, my eyes scanning the snowy expanse ahead.
A line of giant mammals trekked up the hills, the smallest at the front as the others pushed it along.
I watched as they disappeared into one of the massive caves dotting this area.
The snow was coming down hard, and any creature with any sense was seeking shelter.
“Kaden.”
“Hmm?” I asked, finally meeting his eyes. From the expectant look on his face, I had missed something.
“I’ve been talking to you.”
“Sorry.” I shook my head as if the thoughts that plagued me could be disregarded so simply. “What did you say?”
“I said, I’m surprised Samkiel wants to visit the Otherworld. Everyone hates the gods there.” He rubbed his hand against his jaw. “We are probably going to have to fight our way in.”
I had thought the same thing. Tensions were still uneasy with the Otherworld.
They had their own rules and reasons, sometimes violently repudiating the gods and their interference.
The only reason Nismera hadn’t taken it over was that she knew the fight would take too long.
Instead, she’d sought a peace treaty of her own.
They offered up a few soldiers to fill out her legion, and she stayed away.
The Princes of the Otherworld agreed, but it did not mean they liked each other.
They were enemies working toward a common goal.
This would not be an easy visit for any of us, and it wasn’t just the princes and their hordes.
Monsters bigger than suns lived in the darkest, deepest parts of the Otherworld.
Every single being we would come into contact with would want to kill us on sight.
We would be lucky if it didn’t start a war, so I had devised a few escape plans.
“Do you trust me?” I asked, turning to hold Isaiah’s gaze steadily.
He didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“Then you have nothing to worry about,” I said.
“But I will be honest with you. Don’t underestimate Samkiel.
As much as you and I hate him, he is volatile and unpredictable.
There is a reason he was King of Rashearim for so long.
Most beings would rather slit their throats than face him on a battlefield.
Even Nismera has avoided fighting him herself because she knows it, too.
When speaking of war with him, brute strength won’t cut it. He’d win.”
Isaiah only nodded, his jaw clenching. “I hate him, but I’m not afraid of him.”
“I think we have more to worry about than him.”
The bond that Death forced on us not only let us into Dianna’s mind, but each other’s as well.
Isaiah’s emotions ran like wildfire across mine.
Nismera’s betrayal had hurt him, but he’d obscured it with something far more deadly.
I saw the vibrant black and red Ig’Morruthen roil beneath his skin.
He snapped his jaws, begging to be released and seek his retribution.
Isaiah’s temper was far worse than my own when betrayed.
He may be softer than I, kinder, but at times I feared he was more brutal.
“Well, regardless, we have each other.”
“That we do.”
He placed a hand on my shoulder but pulled back as if he’d been burned. “What the fuck?”
I turned to look at him. Shock and worry filled his expression, and I knew exactly what he’d felt. I shook my head and shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“You’re beyond freezing. Why?” Isaiah’s eyes were frantic, looking me up and down.
Cold? That was one word for it, but what I felt was beyond cold.
We stood here on this vast snowy landscape, but the chill didn’t even touch my bones.
I was afraid none would. My skin had not prickled, and I had not shivered when we’d arrived, but I had done my best to pretend the chill affected me.
Perhaps when I’d died, Death had followed me back through the veil.
Or maybe not himself, but something else that resided on the other side.
All I knew was that it had wrapped itself around me, stealing all light and warmth.
“I don’t think you can truly die, reach Oblivion, and come back the same, Brother,” I said, my eyes once more turning towards the skyline.
“But I did, and I don’t feel like that,” Isaiah said.
“Did you truly die? I did. When Samkiel killed me on the Isle of Detremn, I was gone much longer than this last time. I don’t think it was the same.”
“Fuck,” Isaiah cursed, his eyes filled with frenetic worry.
“It’s this stupid bond,” Isaiah sneered, waving his hand toward the small camp where Dianna and Samkiel had finally settled into sleep.
“Once we figure out how to escape it, you’ll be okay.
We just have to be dragged around by our fucking balls first.”
“I don’t think so,” I said calmly.
“What do you mean?” Isaiah folded his arms and glared at me, but I could hear the worry in his voice. “I know you want to save me, but you’re a fool if you think I’m just going to leave you behind for them to torture or kill. I don’t give a fuck how much we fight. Only I can kick your ass.”
I looked away, casting my eyes to the rolling, snow-shrouded landscape and capped mountains. I used to take such beauty for granted, but not anymore. Now I knew where I was headed, and it was back to that screaming pit of nothingness.
“I mean, I died, and not just death, but true death.” I sighed and met his gaze. “The power Samkiel wields is empty, dark, painful nothingness. It’s the absence of life, and even though Death pulled me from that void, I feel … different.”
Isaiah was quiet for a moment. The only sound was the wind twining through the trees in a comforting murmur. “Different, how?”
I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to put words to it.
“I don’t feel as I should. Not like I used to, at least. It’s as if I am here, but not.
I mean, I know I love her. I love you, and I hate our father.
Those things seem to be constants embedded into my DNA, beyond life or death, but that is it. ”
Meeting his eyes again, I let him see how serious I was, and his throat bobbed in recognition of the wound that could not be healed.
I stretched my legs out and crossed my ankles, leaning back against the snow-covered bark of the tree behind me.
“Honestly, I think the bond is the only thing keeping me here, and once it breaks …” I snapped my fingers.
“I don’t think there will be a body left for them to torture.
So yes, after this bond is gone. You run and never look back.
Hide, change, but find something else, Isaiah. ”
“No,” Isaiah said without hesitation, rubbing his brow. He always looked for another way. Isaiah spent months after we were locked in Yejedin, trying to find a way for us to escape. Even though it was pointless, he refused to give up, and I knew he would do everything he could for me now.
“After this is all over, you should have a family,” I said, looking toward the empty cave entrance where the beasts had gone to slumber.
“What?” Isaiah asked.
“I know I give you shit. It is basically my job, but you deserve better. Make a life with someone after this.” I continued to stare straight ahead.
“This?” I waved toward myself and the camp behind us before dropping my hand.
“Has been your whole life. I have been your whole life. You will die one day, as I have, and I don’t want you to have any regrets.
So, leave and do something with your life besides war, besides death, and besides me.
Find someone who will mourn at your grave. ”
“Kaden …”