Chapter 28 #2
“So shave and fart?” Nathan guessed.
Preston gave him a dirty look. “That wasn’t what I had in mind.”
I didn’t want to leave Nathan, but it had to happen, so I merely smiled. “It sounds great,” I said, not meaning a single word. “I want to show my mother the lake anyway.”
“Yes,” Mom agreed in the same warm voice I recognized from childhood. “I can’t wait to see the lake.”
We set off as if it weren’t a big deal, and I noticed right away that Heather wasn’t with us. Bree fell into step with Mom and me.
“Whatever it is, it’s happening now,” she said.
I nodded. “Yup.”
“Are you worried?”
“I just want it over with.”
“And then what?” She gave me a sincere look. “Will you and Nathan live happily ever after?”
It was a simplistic question, yet I knew exactly what she was getting at. “I certainly hope so.”
“I know so. Nathan is completely over the moon for you.”
I looked down at my hand, at the engagement ring I was still wearing.
It would feel weird to take it off, but it needed to happen eventually.
Once this was over—the retreat as well as the Preston situation—I wanted a fresh start.
Nothing about our relationship had been normal.
We needed the opportunity to make it normal.
“I’m over the moon for him too.”
“Oh, I know.” Bree’s smile was smug. “I knew it the day you met. There was an energy between the two of you, even if you weren’t ready to believe it.”
“It happened fast.”
“That doesn’t mean it will fail. Trust me. I know. Sometimes, when it happens fast, it’s because there’s no stopping it.”
“Yeah.” I rubbed the back of my neck and caught a hint of movement out of the corner of my eye. Preston had quietly joined the women’s walk around the lake.
Yup. It was definitely happening now.
I tried to keep up a steady stream of conversation for the walk, but Mom and Bree did all the heavy lifting on that front. When we reached the halfway point, I felt Preston move in beside me before I saw him.
“Nice night for a walk, huh?” He sounded far too happy with himself.
I could have played along—that was part of the plan—but I didn’t. Instead I gave him a flat grimace. “Whatever it is, it’s not going to work,” I said to him in a low voice. I didn’t care if Bree, Hayley, and Mom heard what I had to say to him. I didn’t want to get the others worked up, however.
His expression was hard to read in the limited light. “What are you talking about?”
“Whatever your plan is with Heather,” I replied. It was time I took my destiny into my own hands.
“I have no idea what you mean.”
“You’re never going to win this battle, Preston.” There was no give to my tone. “Even if you managed to break up Nathan and me—which is not going to happen, but whatever—you wouldn’t win this battle because there is nothing that would ever get me to go back to you.”
All traces of mirth fled his features. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not up to anything.”
“You have been the whole time. It’s not as if you suddenly developed an interest in author events. You could care less about that stuff.”
“I merely believe that writing should be a hobby, not a profession. You used to believe that too.”
“No.” I vehemently shook my head. “I never believed that. I let you pretend I believed that. There was so much pretending between us that I’m embarrassed I let things go as far as they did.”
“Embarrassed? You did not just say you’re embarrassed of me.” Anger flashed hot and fast across his features. “I’m the one who should have been embarrassed by you.”
“Which is why you had your mother change my wardrobe and your father give me a job. I have to ask, if you didn’t like anything about me, why did you want to be with me in the first place?”
“I never said I didn’t like anything about you. I just felt you could excel more with a few tweaks under your belt, something I proved.” He was back to looking smug.
“Yes, I was perfect for you, right?”
“Of course.”
“That’s why you cheated on me with your father’s secretary.”
The look he shot me was full of annoyance. “Good grief, Bella. Let it go. Sex has nothing to do with feelings. Just because I love you, that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy myself with others.”
“Except that’s not the way it’s supposed to be.” I was exasperated to the nth degree. “When you love somebody, you’re not supposed to want anybody else.”
“It’s impossible to go through life not wanting anybody else. That’s na?ve thinking. You need to get over it so we can get back on schedule.”
Back on schedule? He was a complete and total idiot. “I have no idea why I ever convinced myself that I loved you.” I said it out loud, but it was a message to myself. “I’m embarrassed I let things go on as long as I did. It’s mortifying.”
“You’re embarrassed of me?” His temper finally snapped. “You did not just say that you were embarrassed of me a second time! I’m the one who had to make allowances for you.”
“Of course I’m embarrassed of you.” I kept my voice even and calm. “Why wouldn’t I be? Mostly, I’m embarrassed about how I let you treat me. I have no idea why I went on so long letting you run my life. It will never happen again, though.”
His smile was chilling. “Never say never.”
I wasn’t worried about him. Not any longer. There was nothing he could do to ruin this for me. I wouldn’t allow it.
“Never,” I repeated.
“I guess we’ll see.” He lifted his chin and stared forward. “We should head back before it gets too late.”
Yes, because his plan was being implemented at this very moment. “Sure. Let’s head back.”