Chapter Sixteen #2
“Breathe in,” he says. Then, “Breathe out.” I exhale.
As I do, he pushes his hips forward, and enters me, just a little.
I gasp at the sensation of him filling me, and he stops and lowers onto his elbows so he can kiss me.
“It’s okay.” He presses his lips to mine.
“We have all the time in the world. Try to relax.”
I breathe in, and breathe out again, trying to release the tension.
At the same time, he moves his hips back, then pushes forward, this time sliding inside me a little more.
He continues to do this, murmuring as he does so, little affectionate words and phrases, “That’s it,” “You’re doing really well,” “You feel so good, babe,” “Just a little more…”
He eases back, then pushes forward one more time, his hips finally meeting the backs of my thighs. “Ahhh…” He exhales with a satisfied groan. “Fuck.”
I look up at him, completely lost at that moment. He’s buried deep inside me, and I feel stretched and completely full, the sensation so erotic that it makes me shudder.
“Such a good girl for me,” he says, touching his nose to mine.
I give him a wry look, and he chuckles and kisses me. “You like me saying things like that?” he asks as he begins to move.
“No…”
“You sure?” He kisses up my jaw to my ear and nips the lobe.
I jump and moan, but he just murmurs, “Mmm…” and thrusts harder, lifting up onto his hands. I look up at him, tracing fingers across his breastbone and down his arms, fascinated by the bulge of his biceps, which feel rock hard to my fingertips.
“I love your body,” I tell him, feeling that I should return some of his many compliments. “You’re so handsome, Mars. You make my heart race.”
He looks into my eyes, and I can see the words have pleased him. Of course they have; he’s only human.
He bends and kisses me again, moving up a fraction, and this time as he thrusts, the change in the angle means he grinds against my clit. Ohhh… immediately everything begins to tense again deep inside me.
Dropping his head, he pushes up my breast and sucks the nipple, and I start spiraling out of control. I close my eyes, focusing on the point between my legs where he’s thrusting. It feels so good… he’s hitting exactly the right spot… I’m so close, so close…
And then it hits me with a rush… the sudden, exquisite tightening inside me, the erotic pulses deep inside, the blissful sensation sweeping over me, and I cry out with pleasure.
My toes curl, my back arches as I screw up my eyes, and I scrunch my nose, overwhelmed with the intensity of it.
Ooh, it’s intense, and for a second I don’t know if I’ll make it out the other side.
And then it passes, and I fall back onto the pillows, gasping. Marcus has lifted up again and is watching me, and he bends and kisses me, saying, “Babe, fuck, you’re so beautiful.”
I gasp, drawing deep lungfuls of air, watching as he looks down, admiring my body as he thrusts.
Wow, he’s magnificent, his skin covered in a sheen of sweat, his brow furrowed in a fierce frown, his eyes closed as he concentrates on the sensations he must be feeling deep inside as he thrusts.
It doesn’t take long, and then he opens his eyes and looks into mine.
“Want to make a baby?” he asks mischievously.
“Yes…” I inhale with delight as he closes his eyes again and gives a final few thrusts, and then he stiffens as he comes, his muscles hardening, his hips jerking with each pulse.
I feel a sense of awe at the thought of what’s happening, how he’s spilling inside me, how at this very moment, magic might be taking place.
He thrusts one last time, then exhales in a rush, blinking a few times before he focuses on my face. We stare at each other for a moment. Slowly, his lips curve up.
“You realize what I’ve just done,” he says smugly, lowering down and kissing my neck. “I’ve impregnated you.”
“Gross.”
“Worth it.”
“You’re squashing me.”
“Don’t care.” He gives me a long, lingering kiss, moving his hips and sliding slowly in and out of me.
I sigh, so full of emotion at this point that I can feel it rising up inside me. I clench my jaw to try to stop it, but I was never going to be able to control it, and eventually it washes over me. Tears prick my eyes, and then they spill out onto my lashes.
He lifts his head, and I wait for him to look shocked that I’m upset. Instead, though, he just says, “Yeah, I know.” He withdraws, and then as I press a hand against my lips and dissolve into tears, he shifts off me and pulls me into his arms.
“It’s okay.” He tugs the duvet up and over us. “Bring up your knees,” he instructs. “It helps keep the swimmers in.” I do, and he tucks the duvet around me and settles back on the pillows, tightening his arms around me.
I sniffle and snuffle, not sure why I’m crying. It’s a combination, I think, of the knowledge that we might have made a baby, as well as having had an orgasm, which I’ve never had with a partner before. I can’t believe how patient he was with me, how gentle and tender.
We lie in the warm sunshine, not talking, while my tears slowly dry. His fingers trail up and down my back, and he occasionally kisses my hair.
After a while, I shift onto my other side, facing the window, and he curls up around me, his chest to my back.
I feel completely overwhelmed. So much for keeping emotionally distant! I couldn’t have opened up more to him, in every way.
I don’t think I’ve ever realized before how, to have an orgasm, you have to let go of all your fears and inhibitions.
It’s such a vulnerable act, so much more than a physical release.
I think of how he took his time to arouse me, how he made sure I was lubricated, how he worked hard to make sure I enjoyed it.
You don’t believe in soul mates?
Are you saying… you think… I’m yours?
Yeah.
When he said it, he sounded amused, as if he was thinking, of course we’re soul mates.
It’s an amazing thought… and it’s also shocking and incredibly scary. Because the ability that someone has to hurt us is unfortunately proportional to how much we open ourselves to them. Cory broke my heart, and I didn’t feel a fraction of the affection for him that I feel for Marcus right now.
“I love you,” Marcus says, and he kisses my hair. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say it back.”
I lie there in the sunshine and stare out at the beautiful view as my eyes mist over.