28. Cole
TWENTY-EIGHT
COLE
The scent of Carrie’s skin had been so deeply embedded in my psyche that at the first brush of my lips against her skin, I inhaled our past. I was transported to a time when I’d been jarred out of the stupor of chasing my next career move without thinking about what I really wanted.
Now, as her soft snores tickled my chest, I knew that what I really wanted was this. I wanted the kind of intimacy that made me forget about everything else. I wanted the certainty of knowing that there was nowhere else I’d rather be than right here, with this woman. She was peace and contentment. She made me feel like everything would be all right—like everything was all right.
A soft whimper made me look down at the curve of her cheek. Her hand slid across my stomach and curled around my waist, a soft, intimate touch that made me sink a little bit deeper into the bedding .
I was a man who lived my life according to the markets. I loved the thrill of a good trade. I loved landing a big client. I loved sinking into the analysis that would allow me to eke out a few extra percentage points of profit. It was a constant churn, a cycle that turned day after day after day.
But in this moment, I was still. All that mattered was the weight and warmth of Carrie’s body against mine. The soft rasp of the sheets beneath and over me. The smell of her hair.
“Are you awake?”
I let my hand trail up Carrie’s spine. “Yes.”
A soft groan was her reply. We hadn’t closed the curtains last night, so the early morning light streamed through the windows. Through the door, I heard the ding of the elevator.
The resort was waking, and the longer I stayed here, the more likely it was that someone would see me leaving.
I had to get up. I had to go back to my own room.
Unfortunately, my body seemed to be malfunctioning, because all I wanted to do was lie here, exactly as I was, with the woman I’d been pining over for the better part of a decade.
Carrie shifted, the hand on my waist coming up to rest under her chin as she propped herself up to look at me. “I’m supposed to meet with the caterers to go over the day’s menu”—her gaze shifted to the nightstand, and she squinted at the clock—“in an hour and a bit.”
“Plenty of time,” I noted, grinning.
Her eye roll was unconvincing, especially when her leg shifted slightly to press herself against me a tiny bit more.
Unable to resist any longer, I leaned down and caught her lips in mine. Kissing Carrie hadn’t gotten old. What had often felt like a prelude to more exciting acts was now something I wanted to do for hours. I wanted to kiss her until she squirmed, until I knew she was on the edge and desperate for something more. I wanted to tease out every little whimper and moan and get to know all the flavors of her desire.
She was like a gift that had been presented to me that I now had the pleasure of unwrapping again and again and again.
I let my hands skim down her sides, shaping the curves of the ass I’d never forgotten. She shifted to straddle me, her hair falling like curtains on either side of her face. Her smile was pure happiness, and it made my chest feel tight.
Groaning as she rubbed herself against me, I leaned my head back against the pillows. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” she replied, a wicked note in her voice. She leaned down and kissed my neck as I tilted my head back to give her better access.
“Does this feel real to you?”
Her kisses stopped. She lifted herself up so she could meet my gaze, a question dancing in her eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I mean this. You and me.”
My cock chose that moment to insert itself into the conversation with a mighty throb. Carrie arched a brow. “Feels real enough.”
I huffed a laugh. “You know what I mean.”
She sat back, the sheet pooling behind her, over her calves and my legs, her body on full display. She was as gorgeous as she’d been all those years ago, all small breasts and pebbled nipples and lush lower curves. When she bit her lip, I couldn’t look away .
“It feels…” She paused, her fingers dancing on my chest as if she could find the answers she was searching for etched on my skin. “It feels incredible,” she finally said, meeting my gaze. “But?—”
I waited. Finally, when she wouldn’t finish her sentence, I prompted, “But?”
Carrie gulped. Uncertainty clouded her gaze, and my heart began to thump. I’d come here last night as if some external force had driven me. I’d given in to the temptation that she presented, and it had felt better than any vice.
But. But .
“You’re worried about your job?” I guessed.
Her snort was more bitter than I expected. Pinching her lips as she slid her gaze to the side, Carrie shrugged a shoulder. “Yes. You are my boss.”
“And as your boss, I get to make the rules.”
When she blinked those big gray doe eyes back over to meet my gaze, I didn’t like what I saw in them. The hesitation—the doubt.
She swallowed. “You just broke up with your fiancée, what, twelve hours ago?”
“That’s been bound to happen for a while,” I said, and the truth of the statement settled over me. Would Alba and I ever have gone through with the wedding? If Carrie hadn’t shown up, would we have continued to ignore all the signs of our doomed relationship?
No, I thought. She might have sped things along, but if Alba truly was in love with someone else, how could she have agreed to marry me in the end? And I would have come to my senses. Wouldn’t I?
“Still,” Carrie said. “A breakup is a breakup. This… thing …between us grew from that.”
“This thing between us predates my engagement, Carrie.”
She inhaled sharply. “Yeah,” she whispered.
My hands slid over her thighs. Her skin was warm, soft, and perfect. “You looked for me for months, you said. You hadn’t wanted things to end after that evening.”
“Why does it sound like you’re accusing me of something?” The arch of her brow made me want to kiss her.
I shook my head. “Whatever I’m accusing you of, I’m guilty of the same. I looked for you too, Carrie. I didn’t stop thinking about you for—God, I don’t even know how long. So whatever exists between us isn’t a rebound. It didn’t happen because my engagement ended. It happened because you’re you , Carrie. And there’s something here. Tell me you feel it too.”
I hated to feel desperate, but I had to know that I wasn’t imagining things. I had to know that this magnetic, undeniable pull I felt toward Carrie wasn’t one-sided.
If she felt it, then I could deal with the fallout of my breakup with Alba. I could deal with the controversy of dating my employee. I could deal with whatever my father and Ted would say, because Carrie would be worth it.
If she felt the way I did. If my feelings were reciprocated.
An old, old wound pulsed in the depths of my heart. It was the pain of a childhood of yearning for love that never quite felt genuine. It was the desperate, sometimes pathetic need to be loved for who I was. It was the discovery that I would never have that—that I’d never been part of the family, not truly. I’d always been on the outside looking in.
As I lay on the bed, looking at the only woman who’d ever made me feel like the ground beneath my feet was unstable, it was that wound that spoke. I needed to know that Carrie wanted me as badly as I wanted her. I needed to know that I wasn’t imagining things.
The pause that followed my words was excruciating. It was probably only a second or two, but it felt like an eternity. It felt like that moment in time when I’d found the adoption paperwork, before the reality of what I was seeing sank in.
Carrie’s expression flashed to uncertainty—to something I couldn’t read. Then she closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. “Of course I feel it, Cole. Why else would I faint at the sight of you that first day?”
I flipped her onto her back and propped myself above her. Dark hair spread over the pillows as Carrie spread her knees and let me settle between them.
“You came back to me,” I said, voice fierce. “After all that time, you came back to me and I’m not going to let you go.”
Her fingers were soft as they brushed my temple. Her eyes were sad. “Give it a couple of weeks and then see how you feel, Cole.”
Frowning, I shook my head. “My feelings won’t change in two weeks. Is this because you have a daughter?”
She jerked beneath me, something flashing across her face. Fear? Why would she be afraid?
“That’s it, isn’t it?”
“It’s— Cole, it’s complicated. ”
“Hasn’t it always been complicated?”
She smiled, shook her head, then put her hands over her face. “Cole. You’re making this so hard.”
Gently, I pried her hands away so I could look at her face. “There’s only one thing that’s hard right now…”
She barked out a laugh and swatted at me. I grinned back at her, wanting more of that laughter. Instead, I had the impression that Carrie wanted to cry. But wasn’t it good that we’d found each other? That we shared the same feelings? That we wanted each other?
Something was wrong. Why was something wrong?
“Carrie,” I coaxed, nudging my nose against hers. I pressed a kiss to her lips, and she kissed me back. “Don’t look at me like that. Whatever happens, we can figure it out. I’m not one of those guys who’s afraid of dating a single mom.”
Her eyes slid shut. The sigh that slipped through her lips was jagged around the edges, and still I failed to understand what was troubling her. “Kiss me again,” she whispered. “That always makes me feel better.”
I did—and then did a lot more than kiss. When she clung to me and cried out my name, the sadness was gone from her eyes. I relished the feeling of her fingernails across my back. I claimed her lips, her body. I wanted to claim her heart and soul too.
She tightened her grip on my biceps and said, “Cole, I’m close—I’m close again. Oh?—”
I watched the ecstasy overtake her features, and I drove myself into the cradle of her body, my own pleasure approaching its peak. This was the woman who had changed the direction of my life. She was the one who’d made me feel alive again. She was the one who… She was The One.
“You’re mine, Carrie,” I growled, movements jagged and rough. “Say it. Say you belong to me.”
“Yours,” she breathed. “Yours, yours, yours.”
Her body clenched around mine. My pleasure peaked. I’d found her—after all these years, with everything that had stood between us, I’d finally found her.
I wasn’t going to let her go.