CHAPTER 19 #2
And yet, the yearning tangled with panic, squeezing tight. They didn’t know. They couldn’t know. If they ever saw how broken I really was, they’d bolt like everyone else.
I was so far in my own head that I almost missed it.
“No Drama Llamas,” Natalie declared brightly.
My head jerked up. “Wait. What did you just say?”
I’d heard Jace mention it a few times while joking with Matty after practice, his voice carrying across the field while I hid in my car, desperately listening out my windows to catch anything I could.
I was pretty sure it was supposed to be the name of their friend group. But I wasn’t positive. And I hadn’t wanted to ask Matty and tip him off that I’d heard of it to begin with.
Maybe I could find out now.
“Nothing,” Casey cut in quickly, her tone flat but her cheeks pink. “It’s not an official name. You don’t have to go along with it.”
Natalie gasped like Casey had just committed treason. “Excuse me? That’s blasphemy.” She leaned in, stage-whispering dramatically, though half the quad could probably hear her. “Don’t listen to her. She’s just unsure of our branding potential. Obviously, it’s the group name. It’s destiny.”
Riley groaned, tipping her head back to glare at the sky like it might rescue her. “Don’t say anything to encourage her…or Jace.”
A giggle escaped my lips, and Casey gave me a look that said welcome to the asylum before tugging her phone out like she wanted plausible deniability for the entire interaction.
Natalie suddenly gasped, spinning toward me with the kind of dramatic flair usually only reserved for stage musicals. “Oh! Phone. Good call, Case.”
She whipped hers out of her back pocket, pink glitter case sparkling in the sun, and shoved it into my hand like it was a baton in some relay race I hadn’t signed up for. “Type in those digits, FiFi.”
I stared at it, utterly bewildered. “Why?”
Her face fell into a frown so exaggerated it almost looked cartoonish. “What do you mean, why? So we can hang out, of course.”
I blinked at her, throat tightening around words I wasn’t sure I wanted to say. “You…want to hang out with me?”
Before Natalie could unleash another gasp, Riley slipped to my other side and threaded her arm through mine, her smile softer than Natalie’s but just as sure. “Of course we do.”
That was it. The wobble in my chest went from tremor to earthquake. I swallowed hard, trying to act normal, like this wasn’t the first time ever that anyone had wanted me around just because.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t just because. They’d wanted to meet me because of Matty.
But that could change to wanting to hang out with me because they liked me.
Right?
“Okay,” I said, keeping my voice light, casual. Normal. Totally normal. I typed my number in, handed the phone back, and hoped no one noticed how shaky my fingers were.
“Perfect,” Natalie chirped, firing off a text.
My phone buzzed with a message I assumed was from her.
“We’re going to get our nails done, obviously.
And coffee. And you’re going to sit with us at the games because the three of us together are already iconic, but with you? Absolute chaos. The fun kind.”
My stomach dropped. “Oh. Actually…”
Natalie’s head snapped up, her eyes narrowing in mock suspicion like she was expecting me to try to run and planning how she was going to tackle me before I could do it. “Actually what?”
I braced myself. “I’m…uh. The team mascot.”
There was a beat of silence.
Then Natalie shrieked, “NO WAY.” She bounced on her toes, clapping like she’d just won the lottery. “You’re kidding. You’re literally the tiger?”
“Um.” Heat rushed up my neck. “Yeah.”
“This is fate. You are my hero,” Natalie declared, eyes sparkling.
“I’m the biggest Tigers fan on the planet, so obviously this is another sign we’re supposed to be best friends.
” She grabbed my hands and shook them like we were sealing some kind of deal.
“Do you understand? You’re my new favorite person. ”
“And she usually only reserves that for baristas when they remember her complicated latte order,” Casey said, sounding impressed.
Natalie scoffed. “This is so much bigger than good coffee, Casey. She’s the freaking tiger! That might even beat out Nerds Gummies!”
Riley and Casey both gasped like that was the boldest thing she’d ever said.
I stared at them. I was sure there was a goofy smile on my face as I did it.
And I kept thinking…they don’t ever need to know.
They didn’t need to know that I hadn’t become the mascot because I loved the Tigers. Or because I wanted to dance. Or even because I wanted to be part of something bigger.
They didn’t need to know that the only reason I put on that sweaty tiger head in the first place was because it got me within twenty yards of Matty Adler.
“Lunch,” Natalie announced, snapping me out of my thoughts. She pointed at me with all the force of a drill sergeant assigning orders. “Today. You, me, Casey, Riley. No excuses.”
Casey’s mouth curved, a quick grin breaking through before she nodded. Riley followed instantly, her hair shining in the light as she nodded along, too, eyes bright. It was like they’d just collectively decided this was the best idea in the world, and somehow, I was part of it.
“Today,” I echoed, my voice small but hopeful.
Natalie beamed like I’d just agreed to a blood pact. “Good. It’s settled.” She tugged Riley forward, already launching into a ramble about where they should eat, and Casey trailed after them, shaking her head but not objecting.
I stayed there for a second, watching them go.
And then—
A smile stretched across my face, wide and real, the kind I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt.
My chest felt light, almost giddy, like I’d been carrying a boulder around my whole life and Matty had finally shown me what it felt like to set it down—like he’d given me a world where I didn’t have to keep holding my breath.
Friends.
I had lunch plans.
As we parted ways, the echo of Natalie’s laughter still hanging in the air, I hugged the feeling close like it was the most fragile, precious thing in the world.
Maybe this was what normal felt like.
And maybe, just maybe, I could hold on to it.
They don’t need to know…
The professor’s voice droned on at the front of the room, words blurring into background noise as I stared blankly at my notebook. I hadn’t written anything in twenty minutes. My pen just hovered uselessly over the page while my stomach tied itself into tighter and tighter knots.
Lunch.
With them.
I’d started off thrilled, obviously. But the closer it got, the more my excitement started to unravel into panic. Because what if once they got to know me, really know me, they didn’t like me?
And if they didn’t like me…what if they told Matty?
The thought made my pulse flutter. Maybe I should text Natalie and cancel. Say I wasn’t feeling well. That would be true enough—my nerves were practically making me nauseated.
I slipped my phone out from under the desk, thumb hovering over her contact.
And then the door opened.
Every head in the room turned as someone stepped into the doorway.
Matty.
He leaned one shoulder against the frame, his black Henley stretched tight across his chest, orange sweatpants hanging low on his hips, and those perfect blue eyes finding me instantly. It felt like the whole room disappeared for a second.
The professor stopped mid-sentence. “Can I help you?”
Matty’s voice was smooth but steady when he answered. “Yeah, sorry to interrupt, but I need to borrow Ophelia.”
My name hit the air like a fire alarm. My head snapped up, heat flooding my face as everyone turned to stare.
The professor frowned. “Class is almost over. Can it wait?”
“No, ma’am,” he said easily, flashing a smile that made my insides twist. “It’s important.”
There was a beat of silence, the kind that stretches just long enough to make your pulse go wild. Then she sighed, defeated. “Fine.”
Matty grinned, boyish and unapologetic, and I watched as my hardened professor literally swooned.
I didn’t blame her…I was swooning, too.
I scrambled to shove my notebook and pen into my bag, my hands shaking as I stood. A few whispers rippled behind me, someone giggled…someone else muttered holy shit.
I didn’t look back.
Matty stepped aside to let me pass, but the second the door closed behind us, he caught my wrist and pulled me down the short stretch of hallway, out of sight of the windowed door.
“Matty—what are you—”
He didn’t let me finish.
Before I could take another breath, his mouth was on mine.
Everything stopped. My notebook slipped from my hands, hitting the floor with a dull thud. He pressed my back against the wall, his hands framing my face, his kiss deep and consuming and dizzying. It wasn’t gentle. It was the kind of kiss that said he’d been waiting all morning to taste me again.
My head spun. Every thought, every worry about lunch with the girls, or being good enough dissolved under the weight of him. His tongue brushed mine, and the noise that left my throat didn’t even sound human.
He rested his forehead against mine, his breathing still uneven and hot between us.
“I couldn’t wait a second longer,” he murmured hoarsely, pressing himself against me so I could feel how hard he was. “I left class early and sprinted here, watching from the window and trying to hold myself back.”
He grinned unrepentantly. “As you can see, I lost that battle.”
A thrill ran through me. The image of him, restless and wanting, watching from the window, fighting the same pull that had wrecked me for months…I loved it.
I loved knowing he couldn’t stay away. That whatever this was, it wasn’t just in my head. My hands slid up his chest, feeling the steady hammer of his heart beneath my palms, and I couldn’t stop smiling, couldn’t stop touching him.
“You looked far away in there,” he teased. “What were you thinking about?”