CHAPTER 23 #3
Jace’s phone buzzed in the cup holder. He glanced down, then barked out a laugh. “It’s Parker.”
He held the screen up so I could see.
Parker: Did you find him? He’s not answering me, and I refuse to ask Darla for help with his tracker.
Parker: Which is still weird that we have by the way. We’ve never talked about just how often you use it.
A second later.
Parker: Also, why is there a “naked man on Neyland Drive” trending online? And why does it look like Matty in all the pictures?
“You’re famous,” Jace said delightedly. “I’ve always wanted to be friends with a star.”
“He’s all good,” Jace read aloud as he typed out an answer to Parker. “He’s alive. Mostly hypothermic. Probably sterile.”
“I’m not sterile,” I snarled. Although, honestly, I couldn’t be sure about that. I don’t even think Ophelia’s mouth could make my dick come alive again right now.
It twitched in response, and I surreptitiously covered it so I didn’t give Jace something else to mock me for.
“Parker would have probably had a sweatshirt in his truck,” I told him.
“I can drop you off and tell him to come get you?” Jace said helpfully. “Because you don’t sound very grateful right now. Your balls are literally sitting on my leather. I’m not sure Parker would have allowed that.”
I thought about that for a second. He could be right. “I’m sorry,” I finally huffed.
“Tell me I’m your bestilicious number one,” Jace prodded.
“You’re my—” I began.
Blue and red lights exploded in the mirrors, cutting off my words.
Jace’s grin died as he pulled the Jeep over to the side of the road. “Great. I rescue one naked best friend from a cult initiation, and now I’m going to end up on some registry.”
The flashlight hit the side window a minute later, slicing through the dark. I tried to hunch lower and cover my junk, but it just made me look guiltier and somehow more naked, I was pretty sure.
The officer rapped twice on the glass. Jace rolled it down, smiling like a man whose last three brain cells were performing CPR on one another.
“Evening, Officer,” he said brightly. “Beautiful night for a drive, huh?”
The cop’s gaze swung from Jace to me. His brows climbed higher with every inch of bare skin he clocked. “Son,” he said slowly, “why is there a naked man in your passenger seat?”
Jace didn’t even blink. “Science project.”
The cop blinked in response. “What kind of science project?”
“The…uh…effects of extreme temperature on, uh, body recovery.”
I groaned. “I fell in the river.”
Jace nodded like that helped. “Totally part of the experiment.”
The cop’s flashlight lingered on me for a long, uncomfortable moment. “And you’re telling me this experiment doesn’t violate about twelve state laws?”
“Depends on the state,” Jace said helpfully.
“Fucking hell,” I muttered again, wanting to bury my face in my hands but knowing the last thing the officer needed was an eyeful of my dick.
It could be intimidating to some people…even in its frozen state.
The officer exhaled, clearly regretting every career choice that brought him to this moment. “You two smell like a frat party mated with a sewer.” He leaned closer, squinting at Jace through the open window. “Wait a second…Aren’t you two boys on the football team?”
My stomach dropped.
Jace froze, then flashed the kind of grin that usually preceded disaster. “No, sir. We, uh, just get mistaken for them a lot. It’s the jawlines.”
The cop gave him a long, flat look. “Right. And what’s your name, son?”
“Uh…John. John Soto.”
I turned my head so fast my neck cracked. John Soto?
The name alone made my brain short-circuit. John Soto was a hockey player on the LA Cobras, one of Parker’s brother’s old teammates. Walker had spent an entire summer calling him “the human mole rat” because he hated him so much.
Jace reached into the glove box, pulled out a wallet, and handed over an ID like this was completely normal. The officer took it, shined his flashlight on it, and frowned.
I watched in terror as he examined it—tilting it toward the light, flipping it over, running his thumb across the corner like he was personally trying to ruin our lives.
My pulse thudded in my ears, the silence stretching so long I started calculating escape routes, all of which ended with me sprinting naked down Neyland Drive.
After what felt like an eternity, the cop looked back up at Jace, then at me—dripping, shivering, and praying. “You sure this isn’t some frat hazing thing?”
“Not in a frat,” Jace said cheerfully. “We’re not frat material.”
The cop sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. “Fine. Get him home before one of you catches hypothermia…or worse, ends up on…what’s it called…TockTock again.”
“Yes, sir,” Jace said, dead serious. “We’ll stay off all clock apps.”
The cop blinked once, clearly too tired to care. He handed back the ID and trudged off toward his cruiser, muttering something about kids and their internet dances.
The lights faded, and silence filled the Jeep.
I turned to him slowly. “You gave him a fake ID?”
He shrugged. “Worked, didn’t it?”
“Where the hell did you even get that?”
“Jagger,” he said casually, putting the Jeep in gear. “And if you’re questioning authenticity, I’ll have you know that man’s fake IDs could get into heaven.”
I blinked at him. “You’re unbelievable.”
He grinned. “And yet…undefeated.”
The Jeep rumbled back onto the road, tires humming against wet asphalt.
Neither of us said anything for a solid minute. My brain was still catching up to the fact that we hadn’t been arrested—or exorcised.
Jace broke the silence first. “So, if you ever decide to die again, could you at least keep your pants on? I’m running out of excuses for naked men in my passenger seat.”
“Noted,” I muttered.
He glanced over, a smirk tugging at his mouth. “Also, I think after tonight I’m going to be Parker’s number one bestilicious, too.”
I laughed, half-delirious from exhaustion. “And why’s that?”
“Because I got a photo of your face when the flashlight hit your dick. You looked like a deer that’d just realized it was being photographed for National Geographic.”
I jerked upright so fast I nearly hit my head on the roof. “You took a picture?”
Jace waggled his eyebrows at me. “Of course; it’s going to be my new screen saver.”
“Delete it.”
“Can’t. It’s my friendship tax for tonight.”
“Jace.”
He grinned wider, eyes still on the road. “Relax, I cropped it. Mostly.”
I groaned and then flopped back into the seat. I’d have to get it off his phone when I had more energy.
The rest of the drive passed in the hum of the engine and the steady roar of the heater. The world outside was still soaked in darkness, the streetlights bleeding into the wet grass.
“Hey,” I said finally in a rough voice. “Thanks. For coming.”
Jace glanced over, his grin softening. “Yeah, well. Somebody had to make sure your obituary didn’t start with ‘Local athlete found pantsless in river.’”
I huffed a weak laugh. “Still—thanks.”
He shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal. “What are best friends for if not for ride-or-die extractions?”
When we finally pulled up to the house, Jace idled in the driveway for a second. “I’ve got one for you.”
“Really?” I said dramatically. “I’m literally sitting here naked.”
He snorted. “I know, that’s why your new nickname’s Juggler.”
“What?”
“Because somehow there are always balls involved when it comes to you.”
I stared at him for a second in disgust, then shook my head as I opened the door, the cold hitting me like a slap all over again. I was halfway up the porch steps when I froze.
My stuff—hoodie, sweatpants, shoes—was sitting in a neat little folded pile on the welcome mat.
My jaw tightened, a low sound escaping before I could stop it. “Unbelievable,” I snarled as I gathered them up and went inside, Jace following behind me.
The house was quiet, dimly lit from the kitchen nightlight. Ophelia was still asleep in my bed, tangled in the sheets, her face soft and peaceful in the half-light.
Something in me eased.
I quietly headed to the bathroom. The second the hot water hit, I groaned, the heat biting at my frozen skin until it burned.
Steam rose, swallowing the chill.
For the first time all night, I let myself breathe.
And I didn’t stop until the water ran cold.