Chapter Twelve
M ěilíng caught August on the way out of their office building. Her heels clicked rapidly as she ran across the marble floor and announced her impending arrival even before she called August’s name.
“Everything okay?” August asked, slightly concerned. She’d known Měilíng could run in heels, but she hadn’t been expecting it across the marble lobby of their company’s building.
Měilíng smiled. “Everything’s great.” She looped her arm through August’s. “Let’s get coffee.”
“I don’t think I have time, sorry.”
“Just a quick one?”
August laughed. “You know, sure.”
“Great.” She led them towards the exit. “What’s got you so busy on a Tuesday night?”
August scrunched her nose up. “A date.”
“That’s great!” She paused at the look on August’s face. “Why don’t you look excited?”
“Eh. I don’t know.”
“You don’t like the person you’re meeting?”
“How could I dislike them? I don’t even know them.”
“I knew I liked Noah before we met.”
August laughed. “Yes, well, as we’ve covered, you two are very much exceptions to the rules.”
“Come on,” Měilíng said. “I’ll drive.”
“I need to—”
“I’ll bring you back to your car as soon as you’re done with your coffee.”
August shot her a grateful smile and let herself be led towards the familiar sleek, black sedan.
As soon as they were inside, Měilíng shot her a look. “So, what’s the problem with the date?”
August frowned. She wasn’t even sure how to explain it. Luckily, Měilíng knew her well enough to give her the space to think, and started driving, leaving the car in silence until August was ready to voice her concerns—even if she couldn’t quite name them exactly.
“It’s…” August sighed heavily. “I wish I knew. I guess, gut instinct, we’re not going to be a good match and there’s something a little… depressing, I suppose, about going into a date knowing that but still feeling like I have to go because if I lose hope, what am I left with?”
Měilíng shot her a sad, sympathetic look. “I’m so sorry it’s not going well.”
“It’s really fine.” August waved a hand, batting the apology away. “These things happen. I’m hardly the only one going through it.”
Indeed, she’d made a whole pact and, later, a friend, from the fact that there were other people struggling with the exact same thing she was. That didn’t stop it from feeling weird when she wasn’t getting good dates, though.
At least she was getting dates, she supposed.
“I really was lucky with Noah, huh?” Měilíng said with a wince. “I was so hoping you’d have the same luck.”
August laughed. “I’m glad you were lucky. And I didn’t have any delusions that I would be the same.”
“Don’t say that,” Měilíng insisted sadly as she pulled into a parking lot. “You’re wonderful and you deserve good things.”
August smiled, grateful for Měilíng’s belief in her. “Well, maybe tonight will be the one after all.”
Měilíng shook her head and got out of the car, waiting for August. “You don’t have to say that just to appease me,” she said when August joined her.
“And you don’t have to feel bad because it went easily for you. I’m genuinely so happy for you and Noah.”
Měilíng smiled and nodded but then stayed quiet, pensive the whole time they were ordering and moving to sit down. August supposed that, when they’d met for lunch, she had tried to be optimistic about the whole thing. Now, things were taking a slight… turn.
She sipped her drink carefully as she waited for whatever it was Měilíng was working towards.
Eventually, she took a breath and looked at August. “Do you regret taking my advice to use Hummingbird?”
“No,” August frowned. “Why would I?”
“Well…” Měilíng chewed her bottom lip momentarily, hesitating. “You’d been out of the dating scene for a minute, you were adamantly against apps and things, and I kind of forced you into it.”
August barked a laugh. “You did not.”
“I mean, I kind of did…”
“Měilíng, you absolutely did not. You heard about something that was working for people, it worked for you, and you told me about it. I could have refused. Hell, I could quit it any time I want.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I am. I know I’ve been… resistant to dating in the last few years, but it was time to get back out there and, even if it’s not going as well as it did for you, I’m glad to be trying.”
Měilíng studied her, a concerned pucker between her brows. “Well, you know, Valentine’s Day is just a few weeks away. There’s probably lots of people looking for love, and I’m sure you’ll find the right one amongst all of that.”
August laughed. “I’m not desperate to have someone by then, don’t worry.”
“You deserve it, though. You deserve to have someone looking after you, someone who really cares about you. Especially after—”
“It’s really okay.” She held up a hand. “It was a good relationship that went bad. That’s all.”
Měilíng adjusted how she was sitting, straightening up slightly. “Well…”
August shook her head. “Fine. It wasn’t… great in the end. And it’s taken a while to… want to get back out there. But this way isn’t a bad way to do that. Maybe it’s… exactly what I needed. Nothing too much too fast, you know? Meet different people, take it slowly. Ease back in.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I am.” August smiled. She really meant it.
She’d known she was ready when she agreed to try the app, but it was nice to feel how far she’d come. There’d been a moment after her breakup where she’d wondered if she’d ever want to date again, but maybe that was just breakups. Nothing ever ended because of good things, and even when it was the right thing to do, it left its mark and took time to heal. And August was there. She’d stayed away for fear of being hurt, for going through the motions over and over again, only to be rejected in the end. But here she was, dating, and okay with it not going well. That was definitely a good thing. And maybe that was all she needed as a Valentine’s Day gift to herself.
Měilíng watched her for a long moment before she smiled. “I’m really happy for you.” She sipped her drink and pressed her lips together briefly. “So… What kind of woman are you looking for? Really?”
August laughed. “You think I lied to you over lunch?”
“No. I just think you weren’t… as far along as you are now.”
“It wasn’t that long ago.”
Měilíng shook her head. “I know that. But you’re just being difficult. Something has changed since then, and I want to know if your tastes have changed as a result.”
“My tastes?”
“Your tastes, your answer, whatever. You can tell me, August. We’re friends.”
August sucked in a breath, looking Měilíng over. She nodded. “Right. Well, um, I suppose most of the answer is still the same.”
“Kind, interesting, funny, easy to get along with…?”
“Yes. I guess I just want someone I feel… comfortable with.” She hadn’t said that before. She’d been nonchalant and casual, but she’d admitted more to Piper, and Měilíng was her friend. Besides, didn’t everyone want someone they could just be themselves with?
Piper lingered in her mind. How easily being honest about what she wanted, what scared her, and what she struggled with had come when she was talking to Piper. Maybe it was because Piper hadn’t been there for all the past shit. Piper hadn’t been there through the collapse of her previous relationship and hadn't seen her in that painful vulnerability . But would that really have made a difference? Would it bother her if Piper knew? If Piper had seen her broken by that whole thing? She wasn’t sure.
Maybe it was just something about Piper. Maybe they just understood each other.
Maybe August was looking for someone who made her feel like Piper did, just… less platonic.
But, what if Piper did show up in her matches? Would she really reject it? Just the idea of it felt wrong. And that felt like it meant something. If they’d met on an actual date, would she be so insistent that what was between them was only platonic? When she thought Piper was her date, she had been… interested.
Měilíng laughed. “Where have you gone?”
August blinked. “Sorry. I just…”
Měilíng narrowed her eyes, looking positively glowing. “Have you actually met someone?”
“No.” She said it too quickly, too high-pitched. Why did it feel like she was lying when she wasn’t?
“You have!” Měilíng laughed. “Tell me everything. Is that who the date tonight is with?”
“No, no. No. No. No, no, no.”
“One ‘no’ would have sufficed, you know?” she said, smirking.
“No.”
Měilíng laughed. “I don’t think that counts.”
“Do you not?” August shook her head. “I don’t know why I… reacted like that.”
“Because you like someone, is my guess.”
“I don’t. I just—”
“Like someone but don’t want to admit it?” She frowned and tilted her head, examining August’s expression.
“It’s not that. At all.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what came over me. When you asked, it suddenly felt like I was lying, but I was just thinking about a friend. I wasn’t lying.”
Měilíng hummed and pursed her lips. August wasn’t sure she liked the expression, but Měilíng just nodded and dropped it.
“Well,” she said, sitting back in her seat, “if anything changes, you can let me know. I’m here and I’m your friend. I care about you.”
August smiled and finished her drink. “I appreciate it.”
Měilíng nodded at the mug. “Do you need to get back? So you can get to an actual date and not a friend ?”
August narrowed her eyes slightly at the emphasis she put on the last word but didn’t say anything. They were moving on from that conversation and commenting would just open the door again. “Probably.”
Měilíng grinned. “Well, I’m keeping everything crossed for you tonight.”
“I’m sure you are,” August laughed as she watched Měilíng finish her drink.
She wasn’t any more excited about her date than she had been before, but she was more than a little confused about the tiny spark she felt imagining calling Piper after the date to discuss how badly it had gone—and to, maybe, go over this conversation with Měilíng. And wasn’t that unusual?
◆◆◆
“Come on. Let’s go,” a cute redhead said as she appeared beside August.
Her sudden appearance was a little jarring given that August was waiting outside a bar on a dark street and had been expecting her date to come walking towards the bar, as opposed to appearing from inside to immediately speak into August’s ear.
August looked at her with wild eyes. “Sorry?”
She laughed and took her phone out. “Black coat, brown hair, outside the bar… I assume it’s you I’m meeting.”
August stared at the conversation the woman pulled up, seeing her own words sent to her date. “Oh. Right. Where are we going?”
“Dancing,” the woman said, taking August’s arm and pulling her away from the bar.
“Oh.” August allowed herself to be led along, puzzled. They’d agreed they were going to the bar she’d been waiting outside of. Nothing about dancing or another location.
She felt like her instincts about this date had been right on the money. She didn’t mind spontaneity, she didn’t mind dancing, but she did mind someone misleading her on the first date. She did mind someone whose name she didn’t even know dragging her along to an unplanned location. And, if she was honest, she did mind people who weren’t communicative with plans. Sure, that had arisen from bad experiences with her ex, but it was part of who August was now. And who she was was a woman who needed communication.
The redhead seemed fun and she was pretty, but none of that put August at ease. Maybe everything was above board. However, she wasn’t naive. It was not best practice to allow strangers to drag you off in the dark, no matter how innocent they seemed.
She pulled her phone out, still being led along by the woman in question, and hesitated only for a second before pulling up her chat with Piper. She could have picked Ford. She could have picked Měilíng. But she didn’t want to. Piper would understand, Piper would get it. Piper was the one she had a deal with for these dates. She was the obvious choice.
Without overthinking it further, she shared her location, typed, On a date. Just in case , and slipped her phone back in her pocket.
“Have you ever taken dance lessons before?” the redhead asked, glancing briefly back at August.
“When I was a kid,” August said. She didn’t have especially fond memories of her time as a ballet dancer, but she’d been about five and her teacher had been uncommonly strict.
The woman laughed. “Great, well, tonight we’re going to a rumba class.” She winked over her shoulder at August. “I thought that was fitting for a date.”
“Great,” August said, her voice a little flat. “Why rumba?” She didn’t know enough about dance to pick up whatever it was the woman felt was both obvious and worthy of a wink.
“It’s the sexiest, most romantic dance. It’s a dance of love.”
“Love?” August’s eyebrows shot up her head. “Optimistic.”
The woman laughed again. “Don’t worry, love can be just for the night, too.”
“Ah.” August sighed. This hadn’t been exactly what she’d been imagining for this date, but she had been right this wasn’t the one. There was someone out there absolutely perfect for the redheaded woman—multiple people, probably—but it wasn’t August. She felt too much like she’d been kept in the dark about who this woman was, and that just wasn’t working for her at this point in her life.
They made it upstairs into a dance studio, joining about ten other couples and a pair of teachers. August eyed everyone’s shoes. She could dance in the dark brogue boots she was wearing but they weren’t exactly dance shoes. She was glad to see other people in similar footwear.
Her date slipped her coat off and stood in position, motioning August to join her. “I’m Eva,” she said with a grin when August stood in front of her. “What’s your name?”
“August. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Ha. Not often you meet August in winter.”
August nodded slightly. “Indeed. Though, of course, I spend every day with August.”
“Hm. Well, I’m more interested in nights with August.” She stepped slightly closer. “I love those long, hot summer nights.”
August’s chest felt tight. The connection wasn’t there. She didn’t feel like herself. She felt cornered and unclear about who Eva was and what she wanted.
The instructors started talking and August attempted to follow. The dance was beautiful and the instructors great, but she couldn’t help thinking that she’d enjoy it better with someone else. It wasn’t Eva’s fault. She was clear about what she wanted once they met, even if she hadn’t been in their initial communications, but August wasn’t feeling it. Once her walls went up, she had a hard time letting them down again.
And Eva could tell.
The longer they danced, and the more they talked, the less attention she paid to August, finally going so far as to ask for the instructors to step in and show her a few moves more personally.
As Eva stepped away and the instructor with a short Afro stepped in to replace her, August relaxed. She wished she’d caught their names, though.
“Enjoying the class?” the woman asked.
August smiled. “You’re both incredible instructors.”
She smiled sympathetically. “If it makes you feel better, Eva's here every week. Not every date goes well and that’s okay. She’s not going to be weird about it if you’re not feeling it.”
“That obvious, huh?”
She scrunched her nose. “A little, but she always asks to dance with Rosa when she isn’t feeling it. Kind of helps smooth things over, let you down easy.”
“Ah.” Relief flooded through August. They’d never work. She needed clear communication, she needed safety, and Eva didn’t. Neither way was better, they just weren’t suited to one another.
“Well, at least you aren’t into it either,” the instructor laughed. “Much more awkward when one person is and the other isn’t.”
“You’re not wrong there.”
She smiled widely. “For what it’s worth, you’re not bad at this. If you want to come back for another class, Thursday nights are your best bet. Eva never comes on Thursdays.”
August nodded, following her lead as they moved to the music. She doubted she’d be back, but, if she needed an idea for another date, it wasn’t a bad suggestion. There was a time limit on it, something to focus on, and, while the closeness could be a little awkward, it was, clearly, an efficient way of finding out if you were suited to someone. “I’ll keep it in mind.”