Groundhog Day
Ben
So, what date option did you choose for today?
Lainey
Are you reading my posts?
Ben
Of course. I'm all locked into this assignment of yours.
Lainey
You and everyone else. It's gotten way more attention than I expected. Not sure if I like that or not.
And we're watching .
Ben
Are you doing the quote-along theater showing?
Lainey
No, he wanted to stay home, so we're renting it.
Ben
Abort mission!! Do NOT go on this date!
Lainey
What? Why not?
Ben
He only wants to have sex with you. Or kill you.
Lainey
I highly doubt he's going to kill me.
And maybe I'm okay with sex.
Ben
Your option was to watch the movie at the Alamo Drafthouse for the quote-along. How is this an "Austin date" if you're at home?
Lainey
It's called takeout. Like I did for NYD.
Ben
I'm telling you, this guy is using this opportunity to get some ass then never talk to you again. He's not interested in another date.
Lainey
Hmm, how are you so certain? Sound familiar?
Ben
Look, all guys look for the easiest route to pussy.
Lainey
You’re a pig.
Ben
This guy is beyond lazy. The whole town was just stuck at home with the snowpocalypse that blew through. He should be ready to go out and have fun. If he can't be bothered, do you really think the sex will be good? Don't go to his house!
Lainey
Fine. I'll think about it .
Three hours later...
Lainey
Ugh. You were right. Again.
Ben
What happened?
Lainey
Said I needed to go to Alamo for work. He canceled.
Ben
Told ya. Lazy.
He probably would have made you be on top to do all the work and wouldn't even have made you come.
Lainey
Ha! That's highly likely. And I really hate telling the guy to do his job.
Ben
Oh really? Do tell.
Lainey
Sex is supposed to be fun for both people. If he finishes first, then it's my turn. This isn't a one-way street.
Ben
Man, I like you. More women need to be open about their pleasure.
Lainey
Having a hard time with ladies, Ben?
Ben
Trust me, that's never been a problem. The woman comes first. And hopefully, second and third, too. I never leave a woman unsatisfied.
But not all women come the same way, so if a woman tells me what works for her, it'll make it even better. Just saying, I like your style.
Lainey
Thanks. I like yours, too.
Ben
Maybe we should "style" together.
Lainey
I'm not sleeping with you, Ben.
Ben
No, not sleep. Let's fuck.
Lainey
Omg, you're still the worst!
Ben
Yeah, yeah. But you're curious.
Lainey
Our parents are dating.
Ben
So? A little curiosity isn't a bad thing.
Lainey
You’re clearly forgetting what it did to the cat.
Besides, I already told you…charming shirtless bartenders aren’t my thing.
Ben
Whatever you need to tell yourself.
So, what are you going to do for your date? Need someone to go to the quote-along with you?
Lainey
No, it's sold out. I never had tickets. Just wanted to see what he would do.
Ben
Smart.
Lainey
Since that damn groundhog saw his shadow, I'm going to bundle under some blankets and watch by myself. Canceled dates happen.
Ben
I could come and watch it with you.
Lainey
Sorry, someone already warned me about guys like you.
Ben
I think we established that the sex would be good. Great. Phenomenal. Mind-blowing.
Lainey
Bye, Ben
Ben
Happy , Lainey