Chapter 15
Emilia
Iwoke up to voices.
"They forgot her birthday?" A male voice said. I focused on it and felt my heart beat a little faster. Damian was here.
"Yes. And she kept waiting all day at work. She came home and painted two days in a row. I was traveling so by the time I returned she was already in pretty bad shape. Not like this time." Moana sounded both angry and dejected.
I felt bad for putting her through this. I hadn't meant to collapse. My arm hurt and that's when I saw the IV. What the foxtrot?
I needed to pee, so I got out of bed. My legs were wobbly, and I almost fell but found my balance against the bedside table, crashing the little flower vase on it with an orchid onto the floor.
Who put that here?
Two very worried people were by my bed within seconds.
"I need to use the bathroom. Why do I have this?" I pointed to the IV.
"Because you exhausted yourself and you weren't awake to eat," Moana clipped.
"Can you take this off?" Like hell I was going to be able to take the IV contraption into the bathroom, which was tiny. It was so small that I could put my leg on top of the closed toilet to shave while I took a shower.
Before I could yank the offending needle off, Damian took my hand in his. "Em, let me."
He carefully removed the needle from the port in my arm where the IV was inserted. Then he gently peeled away the adhesive tape securing the IV catheter in place.
"Moana, can you get me one of the gauze pads the doctor left?" he instructed as he held the port steady with one hand and slowly and steadily pulled the needle out with the other. A small spot of blood appeared at the site, which he quickly covered with the sterile gauze pad Moana handed him, applying gentle pressure to stop the bleeding.
"How do you know to do this?" I asked, marveling at how comfortable he was.
"I volunteered as an EMT one summer during college," he explained, surprising me. Though I shouldn’t be because the truth was I knew nothing about Damian. And, yet, what I felt for him was so big. How was that even possible? I didn't believe in that soulmate, instalove nonsense…right?
"Hold this." He placed one of my fingers on top of the gauze. Then he found a small piece of adhesive bandage and used it to secure the area. "All done."
By the time I came out of the bathroom, I felt better. I had brushed my teeth and taken a shower because I felt about a hundred years old.
I stuck my head out of the bathroom. "Moana, can you find me something to wear?"
I waited and saw Damian bring me sweatpants and a T-shirt. "Where's Moana?"
"It's two in the morning, love, I sent her to get some sleep."
I shut the bathroom door and put on the clothes. He'd forgotten underwear but I was okay with that. I didn't give a shit that my breasts would be jiggling around him. He probably wouldn't even notice my tiny titties.
Despite the shower that had been refreshing, I still felt enormously tired.
Damian was waiting for me right outside the bathroom door.
"I'm fine," I muttered. "You should go home and get some sleep."
"Not going anywhere without you, darling."
Love. Darling. Em. What was up with my future ex-husband?
I went into the kitchen, filled a glass with water and drank thirstily. I did that three times, and after felt almost human.
Damian put an arm around my waist and before I could protest, picked me up, bridal style. I couldn’t say I minded it but for form I made a dismissive sound and asked him half-heartedly to put me down because I could walk.
"You can walk tomorrow," he told me. He set me down on an armchair.
"Are you hungry?"
I thought about it and shook my head. "I feel…woozy."
"When did you finish the painting?"
I thought about it and shrugged. "I don't know. Sunday night sometime."
"When did you start?" he asked.
"Early Saturday morning…I think. Why are you here?"
What I meant to ask was how the hell are you here? When did you notice I didn't live with you anymore? Where have you been for the past few weeks? Are you having sex with Bianca? Are you having sex with someone else? Will we ever have sex again? Have you signed the annulment papers? Or are we getting a divorce later on? Do you know that I'm in love with you?
Okay, so I had a whole hell of a lot of questions. I decided to ask none of them and just relaxed with my eyes closed because it felt really good to not have them open.
"Doc said that you should drink more than water. I have some clear soup."
I wrinkled my nose.
"I have some juices?"
I arched an eyebrow in jest, my eyes still closed. I heard his chuckle.
"Apple, orange and pineapple."
"Pineapple."
I felt a straw close to my mouth. I took it in and drank while Damian held the straw and the glass. I could get used to this.
"No more."
I heard sounds and then I felt his hands on my thighs. "Baby?"
I opened on eye. "What's with all the endearments? Baby, sweetheart, love?"
"Does it bother you?"
"I don't know," I admitted. "Do you call all women that?"
"That sounds like a trick question."
I closed the one open eye and smiled weakly. "I'm so tired."
"Let me change your sheets, and then we'll get you back into bed. Okay?"
I snapped open both my eyes. "You know how to change sheets?"
"Yes, Em. I'm pretty accomplished. I can change fucking sheets," he sounded amused and exasperated.
"They're in the—"
"I know where they are."
Good for you, buddy cause I'm too tired to tell you.
The next time I woke up, he was carrying me to bed.
"Would you mind if I didn't wear these heavy clothes?" I asked as he settled me into bed.
"Are you asking me if I mind that you want to be naked in front of me?"
I grinned. "Yeah, dumb question."
"You want me to find you something else to wear?"
I slept naked, and I was most comfortable that way. I lived alone. I slept alone. I never had to give a shit about someone's propriety being compromised by my nudity.
He didn't turn around as a gentleman would and I told him so.
"Em, I'm not a gentleman," he countered.
I knew he got an eyeful of my tits before I was ensconced under my cozy comforter.
He went around the loft and turned all the lights off except for the two small reading lamps, which were screwed into the wall above my bed.
"I'm good. You can go now."
He didn't reply, just started to take his clothes off.
"Buddy, what do you think you're doing?" I demanded, slightly panicked. "Just because I took my clothes off doesn't mean there will be any hanky panky."
"I'm sleeping with you," he informed me and then like he had every right, ordered, "scoot over."
I made space for him. I slept in the middle of the bed cause of the alone living thing. I didn't have a side. I had the whole bed. Mine was a queen size and I sprawled in it, moved around, took up space. I was a power sleeper.
He turned off the reading lamps and settled in beside me.
"How did you know I moved out?" I asked him as we both lay on our backs, staring at the ceiling.
"Pablo came to my office this morning to tell me you resigned. I called and got your voicemail. I then talked to Liza."
I turned so I was laying on my side, facing him. He did the same. We could see each other in the dim light filtering in from the streets.
"Why didn't you come to your place these past weeks?" I asked.
I wasn't someone who made such inquiries. Ask my family and they'll tell you I'd rather not hear their answers to my questions because I knew they would hurt me. With Damian I seemed to have no problem doing so— even though I knew that his answers could hurt me.
"I was afraid that if we were in the same house together, I'd get into your bed and fuck you blind."
I'd imagined him saying lots of things.
I didn't want to share my space with an ugly person like you.
I don't like you.
You trapped me in a marriage, and I hate you.
"I thought the sex we had was…well, you didn't like it."
"I never said that. You assumed that and I let you." He cupped my cheek. "You're so fucking beautiful, Em."
"You don't have to throw out lines, Damian, I'm not gonna fuck you…tonight. I'm too tired. Maybe when I'm feeling better, and I've had a three-course meal."
His finger traced my cheek. "You are lovely. You're all angles and smooth curves and I find it erotic to touch your body, feel you."
"You didn't think I was too inexperienced?" It was supposed to sound sarcastic but came out like I was fishing for compliments.
He smiled. "You were but that doesn't change the fact that the sex we had is the best I've ever experienced."
"Now, I know you're bullshitting me."
"I have no reason to lie."
I wanted to believe him. I really did. But it wasn't as simple as taking him on his word. This had more to do with me and my inability to see myself as anything but incompetent, less. How could sex with me be the best he had when he'd had my sister? I wanted to ask him, but I didn't want to hear him talk about sleeping with Bianca. That was a bridge too far for my poor bruised heart.
"I won't go back to your place," I told him.
"It won't be like last time. I'll be there," he said sincerely. "I promise, Em."
"I won't go back," I repeated. "I don't like it there."
"Why?"
Because Bianca used to be there. She used to sleep in your room and in your bed. I have a guestroom and I'm your wife.
"I don't know. It's just a feeling."
And fifty points to Emilia Winters for lack of courage. Ladies and gentlemen, let's see how many times Emilia can swallow her words and not speak her mind.
"Fine. We'll stay here. But I gotta get some security set up for your place."
I quirked an eyebrow. "There's nothing here for any self-respecting thief to steal. I've never been robbed. I think part of it is because we have a drug dealer on the top floor—and people are afraid of him."
He groaned. "Fuck, Em. A drug dealer?"
"Yeah. And we have a couple right above us—both of them were in the military. They're buff and hot. And I think they're part of some motorcycle club. I'm very safe here."
I could all but feel his irritation. "Living with criminals is not safe."
"Sure is. Especially if they like you. Tech and Torture love Moana, and therefore like me."
"Tech and Torture?"
"Yeah."
"Those are their real names? Fuck, Emilia. Can we go back to the Four Seasons? Please."
"Nope. You want to live with me, we live here. I like it here. It's small but cozy."
"I don't think I can fit in your bathroom for a shower."
"You can use Moana's. Her place has a bigger shower and even a bathtub."
"I have a shit ton of money and you want me to shower in your neighbor's bathroom?" His fingers were now trailing my throat, down my collarbone, giving me goosebumps.
"Yeah. You should see how the other ninety-nine percent lives," I mocked.
My eyes closed as I felt lethargy seep through me.
"Goodnight, Em." I felt his lips against my forehead.
This was nice, I thought smiling. And that was the last thing I remember until I woke up in the morning with Damian's erection nestled between my naked butt cheeks.
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