26. Luke
CHAPTER 26
Luke
“She’s in a mood,” Autumn says, none the wiser, watching Gigi gulp down the disgusting pink liquid from the shot glass she just took.
Kai and Zoey both shift uncomfortably in their positions. Zoey has her phone out. She’s texting Gigi, no doubt. When Gigi gets on her tiptoes to unhook her jacket from the hanger by the front door, Zoey moves her feet.
“I’ll go,” I say immediately, raising my hand in front of her chest.
Zoey looks like she’s about to say something, but it’s Autumn who speaks instead. “Just let Zoey go after her. They’re heading in the same direction, anyway.”
“Two girls walking at this time of night might not be a fucking good idea, actually,” Kai tries to interfere.
“We’re on campus. What’s the worst that can happen?” Autumn shrugs. Don’t throttle her, Luke.
Gigi is on the front porch now, and once she turns left, she'll be out of our sight. I need to go after her. Before walking to grab my own jacket, I finally give my ex-girlfriend a piece of my mind. “Autumn, just drop it, okay? I’ve told you a fucking thousand times already. No. Fucking go out with Zach or something, then you all can have your double date.” Autumn’s mouth hangs open. Softening my tone, I speak again. “Sorry, but I can’t.”
I might have just clued in Autumn and Zach on our secret. They’re not idiots; they’re going to figure this one out sooner or later. I don’t care. What I care about is getting to Gigi before she overthinks this and decides that I am exactly like the rumors people at Kinsdale Springs High fed her.
“Gigi,” I call out when I see her about to cross the road. She doesn’t turn back, choosing to take bigger steps instead. “Gigi, wait.” Nope. Not slowing down. She walks faster, even. “Gi, just fucking stop!”
When I finally catch up to her, I hold her wrist. She turns, showing me her red-rimmed eyes. “Let go of me,” she whispers.
“Gigi, please,” I say, still trying to catch my breath. Jogging in the middle of the night after a pizza dinner and a few shots wasn’t in the cards tonight. “It’s not what you think it is.”
Tears fall down her face, but she quickly rubs them away with the palm of her hand. “It’s not the first time I’ve heard that sentence from a Palmer,” she scoffs. Truly, just fuck.
“I didn’t cheat on you.” I try to pull her closer, but she shoves me away.
“You just cheated on Autumn with me.”
“No.” Exhaling a sigh, I make sure that my tone is not raised. “There is nothing going on with me and Autumn. I promise.”
Gigi snorts, still marching in the direction of her dorm, and I’m still going after her like a guilty man begging for forgiveness. “Then what was that about, huh? You two look awfully cozy for people who broke up when you were sophomores.” I hate that the only time I went back home during that year I brought Autumn along with me. She must have heard it from her mom. I never bring girls back. I can’t imagine what’s going through Gigi’s mind right now.
“Look, I slept with her last year after the funeral,” I admit. “And I think I gave her the wrong impression. But I haven’t done anything with her since, I promise.”
She slows her pace down, but her jaw is still tight. “Don’t let me stop you. We’re not together.”
“Is that how you’re going to play it, really?”
She doesn’t answer. I call out her name, but she ignores me as she looks for her keys inside her jacket pocket. When she unlocks the front door to her building, I follow her in.
“How else should I play it, Luke?” she hisses in a whisper. “We’re not together. We can’t be together. You’re my stepbrother, for God’s sake.”
In the school compound, two hours away from Kinsdale Springs, it’s easy to forget our reality. To forget the ties that bind me and her. I hate that she’s bringing it up because I’m past the point of caring.
“If I wasn’t?”
“Well you are,” she quips.
I’m not used to this—expressing myself, pleading, whatever. There is a small voice in my head telling me, though, if I don’t use my words, I might never turn this situation around.
“I don’t care.”
“If you weren’t, you’d still be Andrew’s cousin.”
“Don’t care about that, either.” He left us. Andrew left us without a goodbye. If he cared about any of us, he wouldn’t have fucking done that. I’m not about to make her even sadder by saying that, so instead I say, “He would want us to be happy.”
“It’s wrong,” she answers with a tired voice, looking relieved that she’s finally in her own room.
“Gigi, look,” I plead, using the last argument in my back pocket. “You wanted me to let you in. I’m letting you in. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the farm. I can’t stop. I just can’t. I’m happy when I’m with you. Please, just give me a chance.”
“What about Autumn?” She can’t be fucking serious. This is what she’s going with now?
“Don’t care about her, too. I don’t want to be with anyone else but you.”
“I’m scared, Luke,” she says in a voice barely above a whisper. “You and I both know this is not going to end well.”
“You’ll never know if you don’t give this a shot.”
She eyes me skeptically. Her head is tilted to the side as if she can’t believe the words that are coming from my mouth. “And what would that look like?” she asks with one hand on her hip. “Us giving this a shot? Because I don’t want to be your dirty little secret. I don’t want to see girls like Autumn all over you at parties while I’m stuck pretending that I’m single and not totally falling for you.”
She wants me, too. “You’re falling for me?” I can’t help the smile on my face.
“Well, uh,” she mumbles, trying to find the words that will get her out of this. “Saying I’m crushing on you sounds like I’m twelve.”
“Weak argument,” I say, grinning.
Gigi rolls her eyes. “Whatever. You’re an asshole.”
Pulling the waistband of her satin pajama pants, I bring her closer to me. I tuck a loose strand of her hair behind her ear before bringing our foreheads together. “Nobody says we have to sneak around. We’re surrounded by thirty-five thousand other students, Gi. Nobody gives a shit about us.”
“I don’t want to hide you, Luke.”
I bring my lips to hers, tasting the bubblegum-flavored shot she drank back at the party. Gigi has a way of sucking people into her orbit, using her charm, and making them feel loved. I don’t think she notices the power she has over her family and friends. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. She’s done it to Andrew, to Zoey, to Becca, to Zach…and she’s doing it to me. I’m not going to fight how I feel. Maybe we really did fuck the first time for the wrong reasons. It doesn’t change anything now. I want this. I want her.
“Let’s not hide, then.”