Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ashton
The crowd in Panther Center counted down with the clock, every second feeling like a lifetime as I watched my teammates try to score.
This had been a rough game. The Panther’s fans had been hostile, the players had been fierce, and the ref’s calls always seemed to be in the Panther’s favor. Steven had ended up in the penalty box.
On the ice the Panthers cheered and celebrated, while my teammates came back to the bench, some defeated, some angry, others optimistic. We headed into the locker room to shower and change. We’d fly back to Nashville tonight.
“I know you’re disappointed. No one wins them all. Put on your big boy pants and lock in for the next game,” Coach Miles told us.
“That was a tough loss. We have another chance though. We'll hit it hard,” Coach Ares added.
Very true. But we really wanted to win it. But, he was right. All we could do was focus. At least the next game was at home.
Too bad Kai wouldn’t be there in the stands.
“Ooof, that was rough.” Steven put his arm around me. He reeked. But so did I.
“Kai never replied to us.” I’d sent her a photo of us before the game.
“She did. Look.” Steven grabbed my phone.
Kai
Sorry! I had lab. At the watch party now.
Kai had added a photo of them with a bunch of students, including one with green hair, sitting on a couch, in what was probably a dorm lounge. A foosball table sat in the background.
They were even wearing the team shirt I’d got them. Seeing the text made me feel relieved. I’d been afraid that Kai was upset with us. Their tears and sadness on Saturday night haunted me.
I hearted it. I’d reply later. My family was waiting and I didn’t have a lot of time before the bus left for the airport. I wanted to at least give my parents hugs.
Steven joined me as I set off to find them. They all loved him.
“You boys played so hard. I’m so proud of you.” My mom opened her arms. She wore a jersey with my number on it. My omega mom was short, but not as short as Kai. I had her dark hair and eyes.
“Thanks, Mom.” I hugged her tight.
“You did well, too, Steven.” My mom gave him a too tight hug. She knew what his family was like.
“Thank you,” Steven whispered.
My grandma held out a plastic container. “I brought my hardworking boys cookies.”
Awww. Chocolate chip, I was sure. I’d learned to make them from her.
“Thanks, Grandma.” Steven took them, beaming.
“Good job, Sport.” My dad, who also wore my jersey, hugged me. It was his family who started the logging business.
My father wore Steven’s jersey. He also came from a logging family. His arms wrapped around Steven. “Proud of you.”
“That was a good game.” Pops was a beta lawyer. He wore a sweatshirt with the team logo on it.
We got all the hugs from my parents.
“Uncle Ash.” My nephew hugged my leg.
While I couldn’t get tickets for everyone, because there was a limited number we could buy, I was able to get enough for my parents, my older sister, my nephew and niece, and my grandma.
“Hey, sport.” I pulled a puck out of my pocket and gave it to him.
“That was a good game. It’s incredible you’re even here. I remember how much you wanted this when we were kids.” My sister hugged me tight.
My teenage niece looked up from her phone. “So… who’s Kai?”
Grandma perked. “I told you the blankets would work.”
“We met Kai in a bar, but she had to go back to Hawai’i.” Steven sighed.
“So, go get her.” Grandma blinked.
I laughed. “We’ll see her during the off-season, she’s got a semester to finish.”
“She’s still in college. Ew.” My niece made a face.
“Kai’s twenty-two. I’m twenty-five and he’s twenty-four. It’s not weird.” I rolled my eyes, handing her a puck as well.
“Kai is… special?” my mom prodded, looking hopeful.
Yes.
“Kai’s very nice.” I didn’t want to talk about Kai to my family right now. If they actually came to visit, then I’d bring up the topic. Perhaps.
Changing the subject, we talked a little longer and took some photos. Finally, I got a text that we needed to get our asses to the bus.
“I’m so glad you came out.” I gave everyone more hugs.
“Yeah, it means everything.” Steven also hugged everyone.
My mom’s eyes were a little misty. “Always. Love you!”
We boarded the bus and headed to the airport. The mood was subdued.
Steven leaned into me and I held him. I’m sure his parents hadn’t texted. When we got to the airport and boarded the team plane, I saw that Kai had texted again.
Kai
Sorry you lost the game.
I replied.
Me
Thanks. We have one more. I loved seeing you in my shirt.
Kai
I loved wearing it.
Kai sent a you’ve got this gif.
Steven sent one of a dancing penguin.
Kai
Did you see your family?
Steven
Grandma brought cookies.
Getting out the cookies, Steven snapped a selfie of one, then shoved it in his mouth as he texted it to her. I helped myself to a cookie, though they’d bring us dinner shortly. Then I added the picture we’d all taken together.
Me
Some of my family.
Steven
Did you see my assist?
Did Kai know what that meant?
Kai
That might have been when I had to step out.
Steven and I exchanged looks.
Me
What happened? Was it your ex?
Kai
Everything’s fine.
No. It wasn’t.
Steven shook his head. “I knew that asshole would pull something.”
“I guess he made it back? I was hoping he’d have to stay.” I frowned.
Steven
What did he do, Starshine? We’re on a plane, we have time.
Kai
He got mad that he couldn’t find his car. When I told him it was mine, he got upset and filed a police report that I stole his car. Fortunately, I could prove it was mine.
Anger welled up in me. He accused Kai of stealing the car they owned?
What an asshole.
Me
You’re okay?
Kai
Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Auntie has one of my cousins on guard duty.
Kai sent us a picture of them with a really big guy.
Don’t worry about me. That felt like a knife in the heart. Inwardly I whimpered. Because I wanted to worry about Kai.
Me
We’re here if you need us.
Kai
Thank you.
They hearted it.
Steven
Anything you need. Hey, will you watch us on Wednesday?
My eyebrows rose. But it was a pretty normal question. Wasn’t it?
Kai
There’s another watch party, but I have lab that day and we’ll be in the field. Time difference.
The flight attendant brought us food. As I ate, worry for Kai grew inside me.
“I wish I could do something about it.” I frowned, distressed.
“I know. All we can do is be there for her if she wants us to,” Steven assured.
Desperately, I wanted Kai to still need us, want us, even though the bubble we’d been in last week had popped.
The flight landed. It was late, but at least I’d get a few hours in bed. We had practice, but it was in the afternoon.
“Are you okay? You and Steven seemed pretty worked up over something,” Rhett asked as we disembarked the plane.
“Kai’s ex is causing problems, and I’m not sure what to do about it,” I sighed.
“Do you need to do something about the ex? Weren't you just fuck buddies?” he asked.
My shoulders slumped, and Rhett raised an eyebrow.
“Oh,” he said, making it multiple syllables. “You're down bad for them. You do realize that, right?”
“Yeah. But what can I do about it? Hopefully we’ll see them this summer.” Though Kai hadn’t said the dates were okay yet. Then again, it had only been a day or two and they were still planning the trip with their brother.
“Why not sooner?” he prodded.
“Kai has class. A life. Graduation.” My head bowed. We didn’t fit in it.
“And so does Carys. You being around them doesn't require their life to be put on hold.”
I sighed again. “True.”
But how did we even manage it?
Steven and I went home. He went straight to the shower, but I curled up in the blankets on the couch.
The crocheted ones that still smelled like lemon candy.
I wanted to send Kai a text, maybe, Wish you were here.
But I also didn’t want Kai to feel guilty.
They had enough going on with classes and that awful ex.
“Ash, are you good?” Steven came back out, hair wet, wearing only boxers.
“I don’t know what to do with Kai going back,” I confessed.
“I really like them. And I know, I really liked Charlotte, too–and look how that turned out. But Kai’s nothing like that.
At the same time, we’re in two very different parts of our lives.
We’re ready for an omega. But they’ve just had a bad breakup.
They only have a couple months left of their undergraduate degree going into a PhD program, on an island thousands of miles away from us.
We were just a fling and I wish we weren’t.
” It all gushed out, like a dam had broken.
“Oh.” Steven crawled under the blankets and held me. “I miss Kai, too. We’ll see them for Renn Faire.”
I gave him a look. “Do you really think they’ll come?”
“Well, yes, I already got the costumes.” Steven’s brow furrowed. “If Kai can't, it's because of the trip with her brother, not because she doesn’t want us.”
“Yes, but wanting us, wanting to be with us, and being able to be with us, are all very different things.” I closed my eyes, leaning into him.
“We can talk to Kai about it next time we see her. I’m willing to give her time.
We can just text and video call for now.
No labels. No stress. Just being with each other when we’re able to.
” Steven sighed. “Sorry, that’s all I can come up with.
I mean you do want to wait, right? Or do you want to find someone else? ”
“No.” It was quick, but the thought of being with someone else made me want to vomit. “But we can’t ask Kai to give anything up for us.”
“Well, no. Like I said, Kai probably needs time. We stay friends, we support her, then see where it takes us,” Steven offered.
“Maybe.” I stroked his damp hair, unconvinced. “Do you want someone else?” My heart twisted.
“I don’t mind waiting for Kai.” He looked over at me.
“I don’t want anyone else. Kai means more to me than anyone. I’ve literally never felt this way before, not even with you. I can’t explain it.” My voice broke.
Steven curled into me. “You don’t need to explain. She’s into us. We just have to be understanding.”
If only I had that optimism. And patience.
“Okay,” I replied. Because I literally didn’t know what else to do.