20. Mine
I should be more freaked out. Correction, I should one hundred percent be way more freaked out than I am about all of this, but shock or something else was holding all of it back. It would overflow eventually, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it overflowed many times for all of eternity until I eventually died.
Ellie stayed with me, but I was still extremely tired and dizzy, so I tried to take a nap, avoiding my usual adjustments from side to side. Not lying on that shoulder was going to be a pain until it healed. I hated sleeping on my back, and I suffocated on my stomach, so that left two options. Now, that was knocked down to one.
I lay down on my left side, staring at the wall, with Ellie behind me in the bed, reading. I wished there was some sort of distraction like white noise or a terrible move on a TV, but the amount of effort to ask wasn’t worth the end result. There was no guarantee either of those things worked.
Whatever they had given me was wearing off, but the pain was manageable. The dizziness and nausea that came with it was the real kicker, but I figured that was due to the blood loss, and as long as I listened to Odie and chugged those gross drinks, I’d be fine, eventually.
I’d prefer to be out in the living room where I could watch Cy and Odie cook with dusk glimmering through the curtains and the TV playing something we all inevitably ignored.
This whole situation of the last—that made me realize how short of time it had been. I’d only been here for two weeks, Oliver attacked me a mere twelve hours ago, and now I lay here relatively fine two hours after finding out about my arm? That shouldn’t be possible.
My heart rate picked up, and the itchiness started again. Before I knew it, Odie’s door was flying open, and I was scooped up into her arms.
“Ellie, you’re supposed to be helping her.” Odie’s arms trapped me against her, and just as the other times, it was a strange comfort I didn’t know I needed.
“What are you talking about? She was trying to sleep!” Ellie hopped up to her knees and argued with her sister.
“That’s not what—” She cut herself off. “She wasn’t sleeping, and you know it.” Odie was putting a lot of pressure on a seventeen-year-old. I was trying to sleep. I simply sucked at it.
“I said trying for a reason. Did you think she’d magically pass out without you in here? Don’t be ridiculous.” Ellie rolled off the bed with her phone in hand and stomped out of the room.
Odie set me down with a sigh, and I was still trying to piece together everything. I’d accept a lost arm and whatever weird feelings I was having for Odie because, let’s face it, she was attractive and protective and could chuck me across the room if she wanted to, and who didn’t want a person like that? What I couldn’t accept was all the secrecy and how that played into whatever happened after Oliver was shot.
I had completely forgotten about that until now. No one had mentioned cleaning up a body, so I assumed that fuckhead was still alive. Pity really. I had hoped they had removed that thorn in our side after I passed out.
“I’m sorry about all of this.” I looked up at her with a raised brow. “Yes, I know, no shit, right? It’s a lot, and you shouldn’t have to deal with any of this. Not that I can say I’m sorry you were dragged into it, but I am sorry with how it played out. You shouldn’t have gotten this hurt.”
She said it as if getting hurt a little was inevitable but having my entire arm basically ripped off by a Beta in wolf’s clothing was out of the ordinary. My exhaustion grew. Not the physical exhaustion. That had peaked from the moment I woke up, but the mental exhaustion was getting to me.
I was broken enough. I didn’t need more damage on top of it, but it was too late for that wishful thinking.
Odie sat on the edge of the bed next to my legs, and I smelled smoke and apples again, almost like an apple pie baking over an open fire. I wondered if it was Odie who smelled so good, but I refused to mention it.
As she stared down at me, I was thankful for whoever shoved me into some clothes and apparently cleaned me, but knowing they got an eyeful made me blush.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked, placing one hand on my knee and handing me my pad and paper with the other.
I grabbed it with an annoyed sigh. I needed something better than this to work with.
I wrote, How you got a show while cleaning me up.
That made her laugh and blush as well. “We did cover you with a towel, but you had blood everywhere. We couldn’t leave you like that.”
Once again, I asked, We?
“Cy and I. Ellie was in her room until we were done and Cy checked on her. They were asleep and snuggling when I went in to get them.” Odie paused for a second. “Don’t tell Cy I said that. Actually, you probably could get away with it.”
Why?
“I know you have a guess hidden in that pretty little brain of yours. Is the blood loss getting to you?”
I had assumed so, and with a shredded arm that led to an amputation, wouldn’t I have lost too much blood?
I wrote again.
How did I survive that?
Odie went to respond, but I waved at her to wait a second before adding, How are you and Cy? Oliver did a lot of damage.
“That’s part of what I was waiting to tell you. Alpha blood has healing properties. It’s fairly minimal and is used more as a way to keep things from getting worse. It’s one of the few things we have been able to keep away from Human knowledge. For your second question, Alphas also heal incredibly fast. I had a few gashes across my torso, but they are almost healed now, and Cy is getting there as well. By the morning, they will be completely scarred over.”
My jaw dropped open. Crazy.
“It is.” Odie paused, looking away. “I did what I had to do, and Gerard was not happy with me, but you’re alive and safe and it got him to back off, so it was worth it.” I tapped her arm and motioned for her to keep going, wanting to know why he had called off his dog so to speak. She sighed and looked away. “I’d rather not get into that right now. You handled the shock of your arm missing too well, so I know something is brewing in there.”
Her hazel eyes met mine, and I knew she was telling the truth. That didn’t stop me from being annoyed though.
No secrets. Thank fuck for one handed signs. This was going a bit easier than I thought. The longer and more specific questions would take time for everyone to relearn, but I wasn’t completely left in the dark for communication.
“Not a secret. I am going to tell you everything that happened and what it means, but I also need time to adjust to this news. It affects everyone.”
Oh, it must be something absolutely massive, then. Maybe she was right, and I should wait a bit and let everything sink in first. Healing and resting was one thing, but when I started to move around and be on my own, that’s when the breakdowns would start. Even getting a glass of water would be different, and that only takes one hand.
There’s a big difference between being injured and knowing it will all go back to normal once you’re healed to this, which will heal, but nothing will ever be the same again. My bad luck struck again, and I had to say, this was probably number three on my shit list, right behind losing my parents, then my grandmother. Given that their string of bad luck ended in death, I was winning to some extent, but getting rid of this curse couldn’t come soon enough.
The logical side of me knew that and accepted it as the challenge it was. I’d overcome it and be stronger and better for it. The mentally unwell and unstable side of me loathed this change with a passion. I had already had to deal with so much heartache and multiple disasters in my life. This was simply the cherry on top of the sundae and probably the nuts too.
I chose to write my thoughts out and handed the notebook over to Odie. It said, It’s okay. Take your time. I will be here healing and crumbling at the same time, no matter what. Not knowing will weigh on me, but from your reaction and theirs, whatever it is will weigh more, but Ellie sure seemed excited by it, so it can’t be all bad, can it?
Odie chuckled when she got to the end. “No, it’s not all bad. It’s shocking but not all bad.”
Good. The sign wasn’t correct, but I thought she got what I was saying.
“The soup should be done soon. I’d say you can lounge on the couch, but we had to burn it all.
There was a little too much blood to get out.”
I burst into laughter. Of course that’s what happened. I was gushing it everywhere, Cy coated the second couch in it, and Oliver probably splattered some over them as well. That mental image relieved some of the tension from the room, and I couldn’t wait to see what they picked out to replace everything. Plus, being bedridden meant I didn’t have to help clean any of it up, so yay me for once.
“Would it keep your mind off things if you helped pick out the new set?” Odie asked. “I’ll bring you my laptop, and you can search for something that you like.”
Once again, I was flabbergasted.
I pointed to myself in shock.
“Yes, you. You know our style from being here and like comfy things, so who else is better suited for the job? I’ll be right back.” Odie vanished but returned a moment later. I knew it was merely a minute, but it felt like forever. I’d like to blame having nothing else to do but sit here, but that felt like a lie. “Here you go,” she said, setting the laptop in my lap and the charger on the nightstand. “Have at it. Lying here even when exhausted will be boring, so you might as well use this while you’re trapped here. Watch movies, read, do whatever else. If there’s an online game or something you’d like, let me know, and we will put it on there. Anything you want.”
I wanted to call her out on being too nice again, but I was stunned into silence when she leaned forward and placed a kiss on my forehead before practically sprinting from the room.
What the fuck was going on?
I had no time to come down from the surprise when Ellie came in with a tray filled with a bowl of soup, some crackers, and more water. As she got closer, I realized an electrolyte packet was on there as well. I fucking hated those things, but it would help push along the new creation of blood, so it was worth it. Barely though.
She set the tray over my legs and held out the spoon. “If you need help, I’ll do it, but I figured you’d want to try before going into full baby mode.” Teenagers were ruthless, and right then, I loved her for it.
I didn’t want to be babied, but I knew I would have to be at times. This wasn’t one of them. I’d
get down what I could and practice some new feedings skills with my left hand.
She sat down by my legs where her sister had just vacated, forcing another pang in my chest from the thought of the forehead kiss.
I must have blushed again because Ellie looked at me funnily.
“Something on your mind?” I shook my head and took the spoon from her. “If you say so. Lots going on today. So many secrets.” I rolled my eyes and took a sip of the soup.
It was delicious and light but so flavorful. It was a chicken broth base with lots of small veggies. I didn’t know how they made it so creamy, but I loved it and had to force myself from scarfing it down.
Ellie took it upon herself to mix in the drink mix, and I glared at it.
“By the command of Odie.” Like it would be anyone else. “I’d dump it out for you, but she’d somehow know.” I didn’t doubt that for a second.
After the drink was mixed and I had put a very small dent in the soup, I ate two crackers and gulped down a fourth of the tainted water. It was just as gross as last time, but between all the salt and liquid I was having, I’d be back to half functioning in no time.
“Can I ask you something?” I nodded before shoving another cracker into my mouth. “Actually, nevermind. It doesn’t matter. Um, so how’s the soup?”
I glared at her, but she didn’t budge, so I caved and ignored the unasked question, giving her a thumbs up.
“I’ll send compliments to the chef.” With that, she got up and left me alone again.
The silence of the room bore down on me. My ability to enjoy silence and solo time had been stifled. I had a love-hate relationship with that fact. I could get used to being with them. Well, I already was, which was a problem, but I could continue being used to it, and that was problem number two.
What if they died like everyone else? What if I was truly left alone after finding people who liked having me around and weren’t terrified of some accident cutting their lives short? What if… So many what ifs and they all converged, screaming that I never wanted to leave. Especially not if forehead kisses were on the daily menu.