Chapter 17
LIZA
Daisie had crashed hard after lunch, the combination of early morning excitement and fresh ocean air doing what it always did to kids.
She was curled up in the lounge below deck, watching some animated movie about talking animals.
Her eyelids were already drooping despite her insistence that she wasn’t tired.
Darek was up above talking with the captain. It made me feel good that he was comfortable leaving me with her. Almost like we were really a family. I didn’t forget the rules, though. Don’t get too close.
I left her there with one of the crew members keeping an eye on her and made my way up to the sun deck.
The afternoon sun was warm but not oppressive.
The yacht was moving at a gentle drift. We weren’t heading back yet.
Darek had said something about wanting to stay out here for a while, let Daisie enjoy the water, make a full day of it.
That was perfectly okay with me.
I found one of the lounge chairs positioned perfectly to catch the sun and settled into it, closing my eyes and just breathing. The ocean air and the gentle rocking of the boat were perfect. More than perfect. I felt at peace. I loved the ocean.
After a minute, I sat up and pulled off my cover-up, stripping down to just the bathing suit I’d chosen that morning. The sun felt amazing on my skin. I stretched out on the lounger with a content sigh.
This was the life. This right here. I could get used to being with a rich guy if this was one of the perks. Not to mention the beautiful home with the refrigerator always full and the pantry stocked with name-brand everything.
I let my mind wander, thinking about the whales we’d seen and Daisie’s pure joy at seeing them. I couldn’t believe Darek had planned the entire day just to make me happy.
That was what kept getting me. How sweet he was. How thoughtful.
The trip out onto the water had been incredible. It made me feel good that he listened when I talked about my research. He had paid attention to what mattered to me. And then he’d gone out of his way to give me an experience I’d remember for the rest of my life.
Why couldn’t I find a guy like this in my real life?
Not the rich thing—although yes, the private yacht and the ability to just decide to skip work and spend a day on the water were objectively nice.
But that wasn’t what made Darek special.
It was the consideration. The way he noticed things.
The way he thought about what would make people happy and then actually did it.
I wanted someone like that. Someone who paid attention to the things I cared about and found ways to give them to me. I wanted someone who saw me, really saw me.
Someone exactly like Darek, in other words.
Which was a problem, because Darek was my temporary employer and this whole thing had an expiration date stamped on it in big red letters. I was not the kind of woman he would ever be with. He needed someone that actually fit into his world.
That was not me.
I didn’t think I even wanted to be the kind of woman that fit into his world.
I was probably being judgmental, but after that one party, I decided they were assholes.
I didn’t like them. No, that wasn’t entirely true.
I didn’t like Sasha and a few of the other women.
Overall, the people had been nice, but just not the kind of people I could see myself being friends with.
And that was because we had nothing in common.
But if I was rich— or rather if my husband or real boyfriend was rich—would I have more in common? They talked about their vacations and second homes. If I was with Darek, I would have similar experiences to share.
I shuddered just thinking about living like that. It felt wasteful. And just wrong. I was not that kind of person.
My phone buzzed in my bag, snapping me out of my daydreams. I fished it out, squinting at the screen in the bright sunlight. Janice.
I answered since I was alone. “Hey.”
“Finally! I’ve been trying to reach you for two days. Are you alive? Have you been kidnapped? Should I call the police?”
“I’m fine. I’m actually on a yacht right now.”
“Of course you are. Living your best fake-rich-girlfriend life.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “So? How’s it going? Give me all the details. I want to know everything.”
So I told her about everything that had happened. I even told her about the almost-kiss.
“And today he surprised me,” I said, staring up at the cloudless sky. “Took me out on his yacht to see whales. He planned the whole thing just because he knew it would make me happy.”
“Okay, that’s actually really romantic.”
“I know.”
“Liza, are you okay?”
I was quiet for a second and considered the question. I didn’t have to think about it for too long. “I’m in over my head, Janice.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean Darek isn’t what I expected. He’s not just some rich jerk looking to get in my pants.
He’s actually—” I lowered my voice even though no one was around.
“He’s amazing. He’s this devoted father who’s clearly trying so hard to do right by his kid.
He’s thoughtful and funny and he actually listens when I talk.
And if anything, I’m the one dying to get into his pants. ”
“Oh shit.”
“Yeah.”
“You’re catching feelings.”
“I’ve caught them. Past tense. They’re caught. I’m standing here holding them and I don’t know what to do about it.”
Janice was quiet and I could practically hear her thoughts through the phone.
I didn’t have to guess what she was thinking.
“Okay. First of all, don’t panic. This isn’t the end of the world.
Second, are you sure this isn’t just proximity and good chemistry?
You’re living in his house, spending all your time together.
It’s easy to develop feelings in that situation.
He’s attractive and rich. He can give you a life of comfort. I understand the appeal.”
“I’m sure. It’s not just proximity. It’s him. The way he is with Daisie and the way he looks at me like I matter.”
“You do matter.”
“You know what I mean. Like I matter to him specifically. Not just as the person he hired, but as me.”
“Has anything physical happened?”
“No, just those close calls. We agreed nothing physical would happen. I know getting involved would complicate everything but—”
“But you want to anyway.”
“So badly it’s actually embarrassing.”
Janice sighed, and I could picture her sitting in her tiny apartment, probably eating takeout at her desk while fielding my romantic crisis.
“Okay. Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to keep your eye on the prize.
Remember why you’re doing this—the money, the dissertation, getting your life on track. Don’t forget that part.”
“I know.”
“Let me finish. You’re going to remember why you’re there, and you’re going to be smart about this.
That means no sleeping with him. Not yet, anyway.
Get through the contract period, collect your money, and then—once the professional relationship is over—if you still feel this way and he feels the same way, you can explore it. Like adults.”
“That’s very sensible.”
“I’m a very sensible person. Also, and I’m saying this with love—rub one out in the shower tonight and get your head straight. You’re horny and emotional and that’s a dangerous combination.”
I laughed despite myself. “Noted.”
“I’m serious. You’re not thinking clearly because you’re sexually frustrated. Take care of that, remember you’re a badass marine biologist who doesn’t need a man to validate her, and keep things professional for three more weeks. You can do this.”
“Three more weeks.”
“That’s it. Then you can jump his bones with a clear conscience.”
We talked for a few more minutes, Janice updating me on the drama at her office and complaining about her own dating life, before we said goodbye. I set my phone aside and closed my eyes again, trying to take her advice to heart.
Keep my eye on the prize. Stay professional. Don’t complicate things.
I could do that. I was a grown woman with self-control and common sense. Just because Darek Sullivan was gorgeous and thoughtful and had taken me to see whales didn’t mean I had to act on my attraction to him.
Even if my body was currently sending very insistent signals that acting on it would be a great idea.
I was contemplating the merits of Janice’s shower suggestion when I heard footsteps.
Darek appeared, clearly coming to tell me something, and then he just… stopped.
Froze completely, his eyes going wide, like his brain had short-circuited.
I watched him stare at me in my bikini, watched his gaze travel from my face down to my curves and back up again. I watched him swallow hard and forget whatever he’d been about to say.
A thrill of satisfaction went through me. That’s right, I’ve still got it.
I’d been feeling frumpy and academic and decidedly unsexy for months. But the way Darek was looking at me right now? I felt like I could stop traffic.
He just kept staring, not moving, barely breathing.
I let him look for another few seconds, enjoying the power of it. “Can I help you?” I asked with sweet innocence.
He made a strangled sound, then muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, “In so many ways.”
“What was that?”
He shook his head, physically shaking himself out of whatever trance he’d fallen into. Cleared his throat. Looked determinedly at a point somewhere over my left shoulder instead of at me.
“I was gonna say,” he started, his voice rougher than usual.
I smiled. “Yes?”
“Dinner will be ready in half an hour. In case you want to shower or anything.”
“Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”
“Right. Yes. Good.” He turned to leave, then paused. Turned back like he was going to say something else. Then clearly thought better of it and headed back down the stairs without another word.
I waited until he was gone before I let myself smile.
The man was affected. Seriously affected. Which meant whatever I was feeling, he was feeling it too. We were both in this thing together, both struggling with the same attraction and trying to maintain boundaries that were getting flimsier by the day.
That should probably worry me more than it did.
I gathered up my cover-up and my phone and headed below deck to my assigned stateroom to shower and change for dinner. The bathroom was absurdly luxurious, especially considering we were on a boat. Yacht. It wasn’t a boat. It was a yacht.
Thinking about what might have happened if we’d been alone up there was making me feel hot and it had nothing to do with the warm water washing over my skin. If Daisie wasn’t on the yacht, we might have given into the urge.
My body was making very compelling arguments.
Just one time. We were both adults and clearly interested.
We just needed to scratch the itch. Once we got what we obviously both needed, things would be fine.
We could be near each other without wondering what it would be like to be naked and tangled up in each other.
It was a real devil versus angel thing. I could feel the good one on my right shoulder, urging caution, and that dirty bitch on my left shoulder, telling me it would be okay.
But then I remembered I needed the money too badly to risk screwing up the contract.
I turned the water to cold, gasping at the shock of it and tried to cool down my overheated thoughts.
Three more weeks. I could keep it together for three more weeks.