Chapter 45 The Silent Storm
The Silent Storm
Harper
“Where are you taking me?” I turn and look out the back of his car toward the city lights. Wherever we’re going is dark.
“It’s a surprise. We’ll be there in a few minutes.” Nico seems a lot more relaxed after our debate on Harry Potter. We also talked about how it’s nearly impossible to disentangle the artist from their art, which got us talking about music.
Dinner was enjoyable. It was so different from the conversations I’ve had with the others. It was light and easy. More like talking to an old friend.
It’s hard to ignore our history on a night like tonight. We used to go out to eat burgers and shakes as kids. We rode our bicycles everywhere, including the field he got the flowers from. Debate about movies and which house we wanted to be in.
But there’s a huge difference in who we were then and who we are now. We aren’t little kids anymore. This isn’t a normal relationship. Right now, though, it just feels good to be out with Nico.
As the radio plays more Missio from his Spotify, I draw in a breath and release it. All the stress from being with the horsemen is just gone right now. The people who hate me. The people who want to use me.
It’s just me and Nico.
He pulls onto a dirt road off the main road and parks the car. “We’re here.”
Before the headlights cut out, all I see is a field.
“Um, here? If you were Luke, I would think this is where you would hide my body.” A tiny shiver races down my spine. Even as I say it, I don’t believe it. From the beginning, I knew Luke wouldn’t kill me. That’s not what he does. But he can destroy me in different ways.
Nico chuckles. “Only if he planned to stay with you out here.”
I shake my head, but my lips curve into a smile. Luke will be in my bed tonight. He’s in my bed every night. I don’t understand Luke. I may never understand him or how he makes me feel. But I like that I know he’ll be there and that he’ll hold me through the night.
Nico reaches into the back of the car and grabs a blanket. He opens his car door and turns on his phone’s flashlight. “Come on.”
I get out and shiver slightly in the cool night air before following Nico to a spot in the field that’s been cut down.
“Hold this.” He hands me his phone.
I glance around at the dark shadows around us. It’s oddly quiet out here except for the chirps of crickets. Nico spreads the blanket on the ground and holds his hand out to me.
We sit, and a little glow pops on to the side of me and then goes out. Another one flicks on and blinks off.
“Fireflies? It’s late for fireflies.” I cock my head. Little lights go on and off over the grass. Just a small number, not like during summer. “Why are we here?”
Nico lies back on the blanket and puts his hands behind his head. “Because it’s hard to see the night sky in town.”
He pats the blanket, and I lie down next to him. When I shiver, he wraps his arm around me, drawing me into his warmth, and rubs my arm.
“I should have brought a sweatshirt for you.”
“I’m fine.” I snuggle closer. “Night sky?”
“It’s the season for the Epsilon Perseids meteor shower.” Nico squeezes me against him. “It’s one of the peak nights.”
I glance up at the night sky and all the stars that twinkle above us. The glow of the town is in the distance. Out here it feels like none of that matters.
“When you were younger, you always wanted to catch a falling star, but we could never stay up late enough to see them.” Nico’s words send a burst of nostalgia through me.
“We would fall asleep before it was time to go out.” I smile, remembering. “In the mornings, we’d be so disappointed.”
“I figured if I couldn’t give you the moon, I could at least give you the stars.” He kisses my head. My heart flutters. One thing I never expected from a horseman was romance.
I sigh and relax into him. My gaze returns to the stars overhead. For a while, we’re both quiet, just taking in the night and being with each other.
“I’ve been an ass.” Nico blows out a breath. “You wanted me in your corner, and I failed you. I don’t know how to fix that.”
I rest my ear against his beating heart and breathe in his rain scent. “We move past it. There’s no more us and them. So there shouldn’t have to be a choice anymore.”
“There’s just us.” He takes my hand and rests it with his on his stomach.
“Are you jealous of Luke? Because I don’t understand why.
It’s not like he asked me to date him. He claimed me and not for himself—for all of them and you.
” I blow out a breath. “You weren’t there in the beginning.
I didn’t want any of this. I was a game to them.
Eventually, I played along, but I tried to get out of it. I never wanted to be theirs.”
“I couldn’t see that. The way they touched you. When I got there, you were with them. Luke was possessive of you from that first night. It made me wonder if I really fit in or if I just got in because of who I used to be to them and to you.”
“I couldn’t believe you were back,” I say softly as a streak of light crosses the sky. My heart races a little harder. “I was so worried about what they would do to you if they found out I was attracted to you. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”
Nico chuckles. “It’s hard to imagine what would have happened at that party if I wasn’t already a horseman. I came back ready to fight for you. Ready to win you. And then you were handed to me on a golden platter—as long as I didn’t mind sharing you with my friends.”
And there’s the rub. He wanted me all to himself, but he has to share me. I don’t know if it ever would have been an option to have me to himself. There’s a part of me that wants the others’ attention. That craves it.
Another streak goes across the sky.
“I thought you’d protect me.” The words fall out of me. Realizing he broke something in me.
“I will, but not from them.” Nico’s voice is soft, but he holds me close. “Not unless they want to truly hurt you.”
“I’m not going to lie to you. When you helped Caden with his punishment, I felt betrayed. I knew Tanner being my partner was going to get out, but I hoped you’d help make them understand why I didn’t tell them right away. Not join in the fun.”
He releases his breath. “Knowing put me in a difficult spot. I don’t know Tanner. I didn’t know what he’s capable of. But if they’re worried about him having any access to you, then I know I should be worried. The guys at this school aren’t normal, sunshine.”
A bitter laugh slips from me. “You’re telling me?”
“I guess if anyone knows that, it’s you.” He sighs, and his chest rises and falls beneath my head. I need him. Doing this alone isn’t easy, but having someone on my side, even a little, is better than nothing.
“I didn’t want to be anyone’s pet.” My eyes widen as more stars streak across the sky.
“You aren’t, Harper. You’re more than that to me. You’re more than that to them. We may not be written in the stars, but you were meant for us.”
My heart swells. I don’t know where this relationship is going. I don’t know if we’ll go to college together. Or if they’ll betray me like they have every other girl. And I don’t know how to find out. They want me to trust them. But how can I?
For a moment, we just watch the meteors burst into flames.
“Today, in the bathroom, I overheard some girls talking.” My voice is quiet as the night sky is painted with streaks of light.
“What about?”
“They think the guys are just building me up for a huge prank.”
“If they are, I’m not in on it.” Nico draws me tighter against him. “They wouldn’t do that, sunshine.”
I swallow. I want to believe that, and that scares me almost as much as the idea this might be a joke.
“Why do those girls think that?” he asks.
I push up to look down at him. My eyes have adjusted to the dark, and I can make out his features, but I can’t read his eyes.
“There’s this girl, Rebecca Forester. They apparently selected her sophomore year, like they picked me.
They kept on her until she gave up her virginity. But then she transferred schools.”
“She isn’t you.” Nico tucks my hair behind my ear.
“There’s more to the story apparently. The girls said they humiliated her. That Eli had sex with one of these girls in front of her.” My stomach clenches and twists. I couldn’t handle that. I couldn’t watch any of them with another girl. Something inside me would die.
“Maybe that’s who they were a few years ago, but that’s not how they are now.” Nico brushes his hand over my cheek. “They want you.”
“How do you know? You don’t know them any better than I do. You’ve been gone. You don’t know the crap they’ve done. The punishments they handed out. The way they make all of us feel.” I shiver as a breeze works over us.
“But you know them now.” Nico pulls me down to rest on his chest again. “They want you, Harper. They aren’t going to throw you away. Why don’t you just ask them?”
“Like they’d tell me if they were just dicking with me.” Scoffing, I look up at the night sky as dozens of lights flash across it. “But you could ask them.”
“Harper, if you want to know, ask. They have no reason to lie to you.”
“Unless they’re doing the same thing to me.” My insides twist. Those little moments might add up to real heartache if this is all a joke. “This whole thing is new, and I’m scared to let them in. I’m scared this is just another elaborate trap.”
He rubs my back. “If it is, I’m not in on it. Honestly, I can’t see them doing that to you.”
Drawing in a breath, I stare up at the sky, not seeing the meteors. I just can’t seem to match up the guys I’ve gotten to know with the horsemen from my nightmares. The guys who terrorized the school. The guys who tormented girls for fun.
They weren’t exactly nice to me at first. They still aren’t always nice. But they’re mine.
“If you don’t want to bring it up, I can.” Nico’s voice is quiet in the darkness. “I don’t like that it stresses you out.”
“I don’t know what to think about it. It makes sense with the way I’ve seen them interact with Rebecca like she’s no one.” Maybe that’s what has me twisted up inside. That one of them took her virginity and then barely acknowledged her when she waited on our table. That she wouldn’t look at Eli.
Will they be that way with me someday? Like I was a number. The last notch they needed to leave high school behind.
“You aren’t no one, sunshine.” Nico rolls me and leans over me. His hands brush my hair from my face. “You mean everything to me. And I know you mean something to each one of those guys.”
I cup his jaw. “Can we be okay now? Can we start trusting each other again? Will you accept that I belong to them as much as I belong to you? That I can’t just give myself to any one of you? I need all of you.”
He lowers his head and brushes his nose against mine. “You’re mine. You’re ours. I’m yours, sunshine.”
His lips claim mine, and for this moment, I’m just a girl trying to open her heart to this guy. And right now, that’s enough.