Chapter 20 The Tactical Retreat
The Tactical Retreat
Luke
It’s the middle of the night and I still can’t sleep. I’ve gone and jerked off twice with visions of Harper’s red lips and tight body in my mind. The way she moved in those videos makes me want her even more.
She’s sleeping and so are the rest of them. I have her screen enlarged to watch her. Like some fucking creep. Of course, it would be worse if she wasn’t aware of us watching.
She moans lightly in her sleep and turns her face toward me.
I’m obsessed.
I can’t help it. She’s in my dreams and constantly on my mind. It’s what the guys worry about. That I’ll push us too far too fast. That I’ll end up hurting her because of it.
Broken toys aren’t as fun.
Harper doesn’t know I’m hanging by a thread. My whole life is about control. I can control this like every other aspect of my life. Like I’ve been taught to do.
She gasps lightly in her sleep, and I wonder what she’s dreaming about. Her lips part. Fuck, I could spend days kissing those lips. Among other things.
“Luke,” she moans. My name on her lips makes me hard again. Is she having a sex dream about me?
Her eyes are still closed and she shifts in the bed again. Needy little whimpers come from deep inside her. Whatever she’s dreaming must be a pretty good dream. She inhales sharply and wakes up.
Her hand goes to her chest and she tries to slow her breathing.
“Bad dream, princess?” I whisper.
She gasps and her wide eyes find me in the dark.
“Luke?” Her voice is thick with sleep. For a second she seems confused, but then she shakes it off. She curls on her side to face me. “Why are you up?”
I shrug. “Couldn’t sleep.”
She nods, nibbling her lip while she thinks.
“What were you dreaming?” I ask. I want her to answer me. Tell me she’s obsessed too.
“It’s fuzzy now, but you were…” She bites her lip. “Or maybe because you said something? I don’t know.”
“Hmm. You should go back to sleep.” I return my gaze to the ceiling.
“Can you tell me something good?” she asks. I look at her, and she gives me a self-deprecating smile. “When I used to wake in the night, Mom would tell me something good so I could go to sleep.”
“There’s not a lot of good in my life,” I confess quietly.
“Mmm, probably more than you think. It doesn’t have to be something huge. Like my something good would be I have a best friend, a good home. School is a little weird right now, but my classes are good.” She yawns and snuggles down into her blankets. “You try. You have the guys.”
“I have good friends who care about me. We’re positioned to win the championship this year. I might get a scholarship to play ball at university.” I swallow before I confess, “I have you.”
Her eyes are already closed, and she’s fallen back to sleep. I watch her as my eyes grow heavy. She’s a good thing in my life right now.
I have her for as long as I can keep her, which means I can’t break her.
Harper
“Oh my god, I had a sex dream about Luke last night.”
Kenz is sitting on my couch. Mom got called in to work tonight. It’s just the two of us in the house. Kenz is leaving at ten to meet up with Brandon later. So tonight I’m on my own.
“What happened?” Kenz grabs a slice of cheese pizza and takes a huge bite. We already discussed Jack’s dick size in as much detail as I could give Kenz while blushing furiously the entire time.
“Last night, Jack found a bunch of old videos of us dancing at competition and practice. He played them.”
Kenz’s eyebrows shoot up. “For the horsemen?”
I nod. “On webcam.”
“Fuck, that’s brilliant. I bet they were drooling by the end. We always looked good on stage.” Kenz takes another huge bite of pizza. “What’s that have to do with your sex dream?”
“I dreamt I was basically giving Luke a lap dance, and then he pressed me down into the bed while he kissed me. Then I woke up.” I might have left out the part where his hard cock was grinding against my pussy, keying me up.
I blush, remembering waking up aroused and being confused why he was there on the computer and not with me in my bed to finish what he started.
“Nice, but that’s not a sex dream.” Kenz takes a drink of soda and lets out a small belch.
“Okay, it was a sexy dream. If I hadn’t woken up, I’m pretty sure it would have gone a lot further.” I cave easily. She’s right though. No actual penetration happened in the dream, but I wanted it. I wanted Luke.
Fuck, they’re getting to me.
The movie plays in the background. We’ve both seen it dozens of times. I can’t focus on it though. This whole day was kind of weird.
Luke seemed to be avoiding me for lack of a better term.
He was there, and he even briefly kissed me in the morning, but the other guys definitely picked up his slack.
Maybe seeing me dance wound them up because every class transition Jack, Eli, or Caden backed me up against a locker and kissed me thoroughly. Mind-numbingly breathless.
Maybe they were just making up for the years I went without.
My day was spent in anticipation of every break, every kiss.
I sat on Caden’s lap during lunch, but I couldn’t figure out what was going on with Luke. He ignored me. Maybe he was preparing for the game tonight. After all, he’s the quarterback. I have no idea what his pregame ritual looks like.
The school we play is a half hour bus ride away, so they won’t get home until late.
The horsemen excused me from the webcam tonight.
I’m sure I hid my disappointment well enough.
Most likely they’ll go to a party anyway, and I’d just see empty rooms. My punishment from the horsemen for being grounded is being grounded.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay the night?” I ask Kenz as I eat some pizza. I’m not crazy about staying by myself in the house when Mom works thirds.
She grimaces. “I would, but Brandon plans to sneak in later.”
“Ah, yes, you have an actual boyfriend instead of four dicks who want to get in your pants.” I laugh lightly, but I still don’t know what to do to stop the guys from pushing me further. The kissing is…
I want to say nice, but the kisses are so far from nice. My whole being feels inflamed when one of them kisses me.
“Did you honestly tell Penny and her friends to go for it with the guys this weekend?”
It’s my turn to grimace. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
During art, Penny initiated a conversation again, and I assured her the guys were free to do what they wanted with who they wanted. I just hope she doesn’t tell the guys I told her that because there will be spanking if she does. A little shiver goes through me.
Maybe I secretly want her to spill, so they have an excuse to punish me.
Yup, my brain is fucked up.
“If they touch or fuck another girl, it’s my out clause.” I shrug like the thought of them with another girl doesn’t dig at something growing inside me. My stomach turns a little. “Then they don’t own me and can’t try to devirginize me.”
“Well, they can still try, but you won’t have to bow to their demands as easily as you do because they own you.” Kenz collapses into the couch. “You know, I can barely keep up with Brandon. I can’t even imagine having four horny guys after me.”
“Here’s hoping they decide to fuck someone else.” I force a smile to my lips as a rock settles in my stomach. I mean, it would definitely be better for me if they found someone else to fuck, but I’ll miss them. “It was kind of nice to be on the map for once though.”
“Girl, you are squarely on the map. If those guys give up the chase, I’m pretty sure you’ll find yourself under pursuit by at least four or five other dudes who want to claim you.” Kenz smiles and shoves my shoulder. “You clean up good, and the boys have noticed.”
“I would have preferred them to notice before the guys claimed me. Things would have been easier. Just one dick to hold off.” I sink into the movie again, preferring an imaginary world over this one. This world is way too confusing.
I both want and don’t want the guys in my life. Thinking of them breaking our deal makes me both happy and sad. Maybe I should ask Mom for a mental health check.
When the movie ends, Kenz gives me a hug. “Here’s hoping your guys fuck around on you this weekend.”
“Yeah,” I say half-heartedly. Didn’t Luke say it’s been two months since he last fucked someone? That seems like a long time.
There are parties I won’t be at. Not that I have ever attended a party, but maybe after this weekend, I can go. I’ll have to find a boyfriend if the guys fuck up, because they won’t quit until I do.
“Hey.” Kenz pulls her shoes on and touches my arm. “Maybe they won’t fuck around. They seem like guys of their word.”
“I don’t know what to think anymore.” I shake my head and smile wearily at her. “Part of me wants to be free and part of me wants to keep kissing them and having their attention.”
“They’re hot as hell, and I can’t say I blame you, to be honest. If it were me, I’m not sure I would last a week before spreading ’em.” Laughing, Kenz opens the door. “I’ll see you soon. Night.”
“Night.” I lock the doors and double check everything is off. I’ve never liked when Mom works the night shift, but I’ve been through it enough times to know I just need to go to sleep and tomorrow I’ll wake up. Just like every other night.
I pull on a sleep shirt and shorts and crawl into bed. My laptop is closed, and I know they aren’t home so there’s no reason to open it. I roll over on my back and stare at the ceiling.
I refuse to open my laptop and be a creeper in their empty rooms. But deep inside, I know I miss seeing them before I go to sleep.