Chapter 32
Victory?
Harper
I dress for myself in the morning. Jeans and a t-shirt. My red Converse. I leave my hair down. When I get downstairs, I make my lunch, but don’t make extra for Caden. Grabbing my keys, I head out to my car.
My car. I didn’t realize how much I missed driving it until this moment. The freedom it gives me is almost euphoric.
I park in the far back of the lot away from their cars like I used to. Then I go in the side entrance so I don’t have to pass them. I skip the lockers and head to my first class. Getting there early, I sit and just take a moment.
Kenz slides into the seat next to me and looks around before smiling.
“How is this happening? I haven’t seen you without a dick attached to you since the first day of school.” She grins.
I glance around before leaning in close to her and whisper, “I decided to give them what they wanted, a docile pet, for the day yesterday.”
Kenz’s hand is on her heart. “Oh, fuck, I thought you were going to tell me you gave in and had sex with them.”
I chuckle. “No, still trying to get out of the deal.”
“What are you going to do about your birthday tomorrow? Are we going to grab pizza and a piece of cake or not?” Kenz glances over her shoulder at the door, but Luke hasn’t come in yet.
“I think we can manage it.” I sit back in my chair and turn to face the front. “We can talk in art.”
She nods and smiles. This feels right. Talking to Kenz. Not worrying about the horsemen.
When I take out my sketchpad, Tanner’s number falls out. I almost forgot about it. I program it into my phone before crumpling up the paper and sliding it into my pocket to throw away later.
Imagine the punishment I’d be in for if the horsemen found another guy’s number on my phone.
Luke strides into the room, and I feel a jolt go through me. Seeing him will get easier with time. He crosses to his desk and sits down without talking or touching me. I stay facing the front, but he still does nothing.
Finally, I bend over my sketch of the dragon sculpture and start adding some shading. By the time Mr. Wick comes in, I’ve almost forgotten Luke is behind me.
Class passes, and nothing happens. When it ends, Luke gets up and leaves. Okay? I’m still worried this is a trap, but this is okay. This is what I wanted. Them to not pay attention to me.
I take a breath and head to statistics. The guys come in late and again say nothing to me. They talk a little to each other around me as if I’m not even there.
Jack even turns around to flirt with the girl sitting behind him.
I don’t know what to feel right now. My chest feels numb and empty, but there’s this anxious little pitter-patter still pacing away in there. I mean, this is what I wanted. Their focus off me.
As I walk into art, I feel weird, like I don’t exist. Like somehow I’ve become a ghost to the guys.
“You okay?” Tanner stops and takes my elbow.
I blink up at him. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“What did they do?” he asks. His lips press into a thin line.
I shake my head. “Nothing. They’ve done nothing.”
His brow furrows, but he releases my arm. “Do you need to talk?”
I force a smile to my lips and shake my head. “No, thanks.”
My feet carry me to my desk, and I sit down. I can feel an ache welling inside me that I don’t think I can contain. It feels stupid and big and weird.
“Ms. Sullivan?”
“Yes, Harper.”
I stand and go to her desk. “Can I have the pass? I need to use the restroom.”
“Are you feeling okay?” She eyes me with concern.
“Maybe.” I don’t know what’s happening. She hands me the pass and I rush to the bathroom. I sit in the stall and look at my phone. The last text I have from any of them was from last night about getting myself to school.
It worked. One fucking day. A warm tear hits the back of my hand. One fucking day and they decided I wasn’t worth the effort. Good thing I didn’t give them my virginity.
I swipe at the tears on my cheeks, feeling stupid for letting them fall.
Good. I was done playing their game anyway. Now I’m free to do whatever I want without having to worry about punishment. Which means I’m not stepping foot in that cafeteria today.
That makes me a little happy even if my heart feels heavy.
I wash up in the sink and reapply some makeup to cover the red splotches. A minute of crying was enough for what they were to me. Just a passing fancy apparently. Fun while it lasted, but now I can move on with getting out of this town.
I return to art and sit next to Kenz. She squeezes my hand and gives me a smile, which I return. When lunch rolls around, I head to the tree on the side of the building. I could use a little sunshine and privacy.
I’ve just finished my sandwich when I notice Tanner approaching me.
“Hey, I see you’ve found my perfect spot,” Tanner says.
I glance around. It’s been a while since I sat here on the south lawn. Probably since the incident with Caden and Jack last year. “It’s always been one of my favorites.”
“Mind if I join you?” He gestures to the ground beside me.
“Go ahead.” I breathe in the fresh air and feel the shackles of the horsemen fall off me. This is nice. Not worrying about the cafeteria and everyone getting a show.
My phone dings and dread builds in my heart. Are they looking for me? But when I check my messages, it’s a picture from Penny. The guys have a few girls at their table for lunch.
Yup, that seems about right. I text her back a shrugging emoji and set my phone down. Back to normal behavior for the horsemen. Well, probably. I honestly don’t know what the cafeteria in high school was like until this year.
From here I can see the football field. That day was only last week. All their attention focused on giving me my first kiss. At least I have a good story to tell. I take a drink from my water bottle.
“Did they ditch you?” Tanner asks, startling me. I almost forgot he was here.
“Apparently.” Shrugging, I smile bitterly. “I’m not surprised I couldn’t hold their attention.”
“They do like to strike fast and then bail.” He shakes his head and then looks up at me from under his blond hair. “Did they get what they wanted from you?”
I laugh at that. “No, not at all.” Somehow, this victory feels bittersweet.
They got some of my firsts but not the most important one, and there are a lot still left.
“How’s your sister? You said she transferred?
” I eat a chip, needing my mind off the horsemen before I do something stupid and cry again.
“Mia. She loves her new school. So much less drama.” He quirks a smile.
“Why didn’t you transfer with her? You could have maybe been on their football team?” I forgot to ask Kenz about Tanner, but today has been such a shitshow. I’ll try to remember to ask her later.
“It’s a special high school. They don’t really do sports.” He shrugs as he eats his sandwich. “I wasn’t going to play in college anyway, so it’s not a big deal. I figure I can at least stay here as a reminder of what they did to her.”
My phone vibrates, and I lift it. Kenz sent me a pic of the guys with those girls. The girls are all sitting at the table, but the horsemen aren’t touching the girls.
Me:
Take a pic if any of the guys touch the girls
Kenz:
Okay
“Getting the scoop on the horsemen from friends?” Tanner leans in and sees the picture. “Didn’t take them long to move on.”
“No, it didn’t.” But something settles in me at seeing them not actually touching the girls. How often did I actually sit in a seat at that table?
An idea pops into my head. What if they’re just punishing me the way I punished them?
What assholes.
“What about you?” Tanner asks. “What are you going to do now that you’re free again?”
I grin as I look up at the endless blue sky. “I’m not going to go back to hiding, that’s for sure.”
He gives me a flirty smile. “You know, if you still need a boyfriend…”
“Oh.” I blush. “I think I’ll need more than a day to figure out what I want.”
He nods. “The offer stands. If you want to take me up on it, just let me know. I’m all about getting under the horsemen’s skin.”
That rubs me the wrong way. Even though yesterday he said I’m hot, it feels like I might just be a game to him. A way to get back at the horsemen. And while I understand wanting to get revenge, I don’t know if I would go so far as to be with a guy just to hurt them.
One, I don’t think I have the ability to hurt them. Two, their pride might get a little bruised, but they have more than enough to keep them going. So in the end, it would still only be myself I was hurting.
“Thanks. I’ll see how the week goes. You never know, I might need a hero tomorrow.”
He chuckles and nods to my phone. “You have my number, right?”
I swallow. “Yes, I do.”
“Text me so I have yours.” He smiles like we’re going to be great friends.
Fuck it. I pick up my phone and text him my name.
His easy smile is almost a relief after working hard to get one from the horsemen. “If you ever need me, you call and I’ll come save you.”