6. Aspen
ASPEN
The sun is burning off the last of the clouds.
I’m taking this as a good sign—a kind of portent that everything will be okay, and I’m making the right choice by doing this.
The road winds its way along the side of the mountain, hugging the rock face.
The drop on the other side is stomach churning, and I try not to look down.
Beyond the drop are vast swaths of green, as though the trees make up waves in the ocean.
What remains of the cloud cover is low, forming a faint mist across their leafy tops.
I can’t remember the last time we passed another vehicle or even a house.
I slide the window down and inhale deeply.
The air feels different out here, cooler and cleaner, and as though I can draw it fully into my lungs.
Some of the tension from these past few months drains away with every breath.
Maybe this is exactly what I need. Just to get away from it all.
It had never occurred to me to leave town altogether—the place had been my home my whole life—but I’d been left with little choice.
I fight a wave of guilt. I thought I’d made peace with myself that Emilia wasn’t going to come home, but now it dawns on me that she can’t come home, even if she wanted or was able to.
Just like me, she no longer has one.
Blake glances over at me. He reaches out and touches my thigh. The contact makes my pulse race, my blood singing through my veins.
“You okay?”
“S-sure,” I stutter. “Today has just been a lot.”
To be honest, I’m not sure how I’m holding it together. I want to go into a dark room, lock the door, climb into bed, and stay there.
He refocuses on the road. “We’re almost there. Another couple of turns, and you’ll see Windridge Hall appear in the distance.”
I squeeze my hands into fists, suddenly nervous.
This place is about to become my new home, albeit temporary.
It certainly is remote. I remind myself that I can leave, if I choose, but it’s not as though I have anywhere else to go.
The thought of going back to Tobias makes my stomach twist. How have I not seen, until now, what a complete dick he is?
It was my father’s funeral, and he made up some story about having to work while what he was actually doing was playing video games.
I know he’s bad with emotional situations, but isn’t that what you do when you care about someone else?
You put yourself into uncomfortable situations for them.
Instead, I’d had to go through the whole thing alone. Until Blake showed up, that is.
I wonder if Tobias is going to try to visit me.
If he does decide to visit, it’ll only be for a booty call. He might give me a whole spiel about how much he misses me and needs to see me, but he’ll have one thing on his mind.
It saddens me that our relationship has only amounted to this after a whole year. Is there something wrong with me for him not to care? I know there is. I’m not easy to love. My total absence of family and friends makes that obvious.
I glance back over at the man sitting beside me.
Well, I might have one person who cares about me, but then he doesn’t really know me.
He knows the girl I was six years ago, not the young woman I am now.
He’s only taking me in because he probably feels guilty about not checking in with my dad when he was so sick.
This is all some misplaced sense of duty, and I have to be careful not to read too much into it.
I pull my hair out of its high ponytail and shake it out around my shoulders. The roots feel stiff, so I dig my fingers into my scalp, trying to relieve the pressure.
“We’re coming up to it now.” He nods into the distance. “You are about to get your first look at Windridge Hall.”
I’m glad for the distraction and crane my neck for a better view.
I spot Windridge Hall as a white dot among the green, high on the mountainside. It vanishes again as we take another bend, and, when it reappears, we’re significantly closer.
It looks huge.
I don’t know what I had in mind when Blake said he lived in a hotel, but it certainly wasn’t something on this grand a scale.
“Wow, Blake. Is that really yours?”
He smiles, lighting up his beautiful green eyes. “Sure is.”
The first spark of excitement goes through me.
Perhaps everything will be okay after all.
I picture myself living in this grand hotel, wandering the grounds with my sketch pad tucked beneath my arm and my pencils in my pockets.
I bet there’ll be no end of inspiration.
I can use this time to make something of myself.
I’m aware of how it’s nearly impossible to make a career out of art, but some people do.
I’m not after riches or fame. All I want is to be able to do what I love and pay my way in life. It doesn’t feel like too much to ask.
The closer we get, the bigger the hotel appears.
The structure is symmetrical, with a main entrance hall and twin wings on either side.
A porch with pillars runs right around the building, and French doors are positioned at intervals.
But also, the closer we get, the more it’s clear that the place needs a huge amount of work.
Blake drives through a set of black, wrought iron gates that are already standing open. The sound of the tires changes as we pass from the mountain road onto the hotel’s gravel driveway. He parks the Range Rover at the front of the building. It’s the only vehicle onsite, as far as I can see.
I’m eager to get out. My legs and lower back are stiff from sitting for so long, and I find myself wanting to explore my new home.
I climb out, bringing my portfolio folder with me.
I stretch my muscles then face the front of the hotel.
The white paint is patchy and peeling on the exterior, and huge swaths of ivy cling to the sides of the building.
The peeling paint is the least of its problems, though.
I see cracks in the facade. Tendrils of vines crawl between the gaps as though trying to burrow deeper.
The windows are all wooden framed, and even from a distance, I can see they’re riddled with woodworm and falling to pieces.
Fresh doubts start to creep in. “You sure it’s habitable? It must get cold in the winter.”
Blake has also climbed out of the car, and he comes to stand beside me.
“Yeah, don’t let first impressions scare you off. You won’t be staying in half of the building. Like I told you earlier, this is definitely a work in progress, but I promise the wing that’s already renovated is perfectly habitable.”
“How long do you think it’s going to take to finish the rest?” My mind boggles at the scale of the project.
“Who knows? It’ll be finished when it’s finished. As long as the walls don’t fall down, or the roof doesn’t collapse, I’m not in too much of a rush.”
I turn away from the hotel and make a visor out of my hand to shield my eyes from the glare of the sun. I drink in the view. It’s absolutely stunning. I wonder how much of the mountain belongs to Blake.
“How far do the grounds go?” I ask.
He moves in behind me and places his hands on my shoulders. The weight of his touch catches my breath, and my heart lurches. He uses his grip on me to maneuver me as he speaks and points over my shoulder.
“Do you see that ridge of trees, beyond the valley?”
He must have bent at the knees to bring his head level with mine as his breath warms my cheek and his voice is right next to my ear. His proximity feels intimate, and my heart beats faster.
I follow where he’s pointing with my line of sight. “I think so.”
“The grounds include everything before that ridge, plus the mountain road we just drove up, and the area on the other side.”
I have to hold myself back from leaning against him, the desire to feel his body pressed up against mine almost making me do something stupid.
I’m impressed by the size of the grounds, but something else has caught my eye. It’s an expanse of thick, evergreen box hedging.
I narrow my eyes. “Is that a maze?”
“Yes, though it’s a little neglected, I’m afraid. I doubt you’d even get through the first few turns, never mind get lost in there. The hedges are completely overgrown.”
Windridge Hall is already fascinating, and I haven’t even seen inside yet. I try to imagine the sort of people who’ve passed through its doors over the years, how it would have looked in its heyday as a mountain resort, attracting hundreds of visitors for vacations.
“I can’t believe this place got shut down. The location is perfect.”
I gaze out over the mountain views again. I bet there are some amazing trails for hiking.
Blake drops his hands from my shoulders, and I find myself missing the contact.
“It looks perfect, but the access isn’t great. Once we hit the winter months, the road is near impassable. Plus, it’s an old building. The maintenance costs weren’t worth keeping it running.”
“What about you? What made you take on something like this? Why not just buy a regular house to renovate?”
He shoots me a half-smile. “Where’s the challenge in that?”
“And it’s so remote. Don’t you want to be closer to people?”
“Absolutely not.”
He surprises a laugh out of me. I immediately clamp my lips shut again.
It doesn’t feel right to laugh when I’ve only just been to my father’s funeral.
What would Dad say about me being here now?
Would he be glad that Blake is watching out for me?
I like to think so. Even though they were estranged, they’d been close the whole of my childhood.
Blake jerks his head toward the grand, double front doors. “Come on, let’s get you inside. Show you your room. You’ve had a long day.”
I do want to take a shower and change. I’m still wearing the black dress and jacket I wore to the funeral.
I’m eager to throw on some sweatpants and a t-shirt.
I don’t normally wear dresses, and I feel self-conscious in the getup.
The material is too tight and scratchy, and it makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
Blake goes to the back of the Range Rover and hauls out my stuff. I go to take it from him, but he shakes his head. “Nah, I’ve got it.”
I smile. “Thanks.”
I can’t help my gaze drifting to the way his biceps bunch under his shirt when he lifts the bag.
I really shouldn’t be looking at him this way, but it’s hard not to.
Has it been the distance of the last six years that’s made me think of him differently?
Or is it simply that I was just a little girl back then?
People change, though not always for the better.