13. Aspen
ASPEN
My stomach is in knots as I seek out Blake.
I’m shaking all over from my confrontation with Levi.
Sex oozes off that man like he’s been bathing in pheromones.
What the fuck is wrong with him that he thinks it’s okay to speak to a complete stranger that way?
I’m not great with social situations, but even I know how to act around other people, even if most of the time, it’s exactly that—an act.
There had been a moment, though, where I’d been tempted to give in. Dirty, crazy, violent sex. Is that what I’m craving? For a man to take total control of my body and fuck me until I’ve forgotten my own name, never mind all the shit that’s happened to me recently?
I’m so vulnerable right now, and Levi knows it. It’s why, despite me being tempted, I know that way lies madness.
How’s Blake going to take what I’m about to say? Levi is his son, after all. He might not take kindly to me bad-mouthing him. There’s a strong possibility that Blake will tell me to pack up my stuff and leave.
I’ll be alone and unwanted again, drifting aimlessly with nowhere to call home.
Despite Levi’s presence, I can’t bring myself to take that leap willingly. I feel like Windridge Hall is exactly what I need.
Though it’s still early, I find Blake working on an external wall of the hotel.
He’s up a stepladder, with what looks like some kind of plaster in a tub, and a silver trowel in his other hand.
Old plaster is flaked around the bottom of the ladder where he’s scraped it off the exterior.
He’s focusing on the job at hand and hasn’t heard me approach.
I clutch my coffee between both hands, appreciating the warmth in the early morning chill of the mountains. It occurs to me that I should have made one for him, but it’s too late now. There’s zero possibility of me going back into the kitchen and facing Levi again.
I don’t want to make Blake jump and possibly fall from the ladder, so I skirt around the outside of him, hoping he’ll catch me in his peripheral vision.
It works. He glances over at me and throws me a heart wrenching smile. He’s pleased to see me, and I’m about to drop a bomb on him.
“Hey, Pen. Everything okay?”
I bite the inside of my lip. “Actually, I’m really sorry, Blake, but it’s not.”
He climbs down the ladder to bring himself in line with me. “Has something happened?”
God, I feel awful. Am I really going to tell him that his son is acting completely inappropriately toward me?
I’m ashamed and embarrassed, and I’m worried he’s going to ask for details.
Can I really use the phrase ‘gang-bang’ in front of my father’s best friend?
Fire races up my chest and embeds in my cheeks, and I stare at the ground, focusing on a piece of flaked off plaster.
“I’m sorry, but this isn’t going to work out… Me, staying here, I mean.”
“Look at me, Pen.”
I force myself to stare into his green eyes, and my heart beats faster.
“It’s Levi, isn’t it?” Blake jumps straight to the point. “He’s said something to you. I told you he’s a little wild. He’ll be all right, though. Just give him a little time to get used to you.”
I arch my brow. “A little wild?”
That seems like the understatement of the century.
“He’s not great at being around other people. He struggles with… boundaries.”
I shift from foot to foot, not wanting to meet Blake’s eye again. “He’s been pretty inappropriate with me.” I want the ground to open up and swallow me.
A muscle twitches in Blake’s jaw. “I’ll talk to him, okay? I don’t want you to leave. Where would you even go?”
I stiffen. “I have friends. I’ll be fine.”
His gaze seems to darken. “You’d go back to your boyfriend?”
I can’t meet his eye, and I scuff my foot in the dirt. “I’d have to see.”
See if he would even want me back. See if he wants me to stay longer than the time it takes to have a quick fuck.
Blake’s shoulders drop. “If you really want to go, I’ll drive you back. Go and get your stuff, and we can leave now.”
I hadn’t expected him to be so quick to want to get rid of me.
The idea of going back to my hometown feels like someone stood on my chest with their full bodyweight.
It makes me realize how much I hate the possibility.
It’s stupid, but I’m also disappointed he hasn’t wanted to fight for me a little more.
But then Levi is his son, and I’m some girl he barely knows, so what should I expect?
Blake and my father didn’t speak for years because they had a fight over Levi, so of course he was going to take Levi’s side.
I find myself backpedaling. I don’t want to leave yet. The idea fills me with terror, frankly. I can’t go back there. I need time to grieve and come to terms with what’s happened.
“Oh… well… maybe you could have a word with Levi first, and we’ll see how things go.”
He raises his eyebrows. “You’re sure?”
“Yes, absolutely.” I remember something else. “Could I also have the key to my room?”
“Sure thing. I don’t have it on me right now, but I’ll grab it later.”
“Thanks, Blake.”
I can handle Levi, I decide. I’m not going to let him chase me away from the first place that’s felt like home.