31. Aspen #2
Blake’s face breaks out in a smile, and he yanks off a glove, wipes his hand on his jeans, then holds it out to Tobias. “Yeah, of course. Good to finally meet you.”
I sense Tobias sizing up his competitor. I can’t imagine there are too many men around who wouldn’t be intimidated by Blake. Not only does he have twenty years on Tobias, he also has several inches in height and probably fifty pounds of muscle.
He makes Tobias look like a little boy.
It vaguely occurs to me that Blake doesn’t have the same effect on Levi.
Levi seems to hold his own presence, even though he’s nowhere near as big as his father, bulk-wise.
I can’t imagine anyone intimidating Levi.
He’s got enough craziness about him that he’d probably jab two fingers into someone’s eyes before he let them talk down to him.
The two men shake hands, and Tobias smiles awkwardly.
“Is Aspen giving you a tour of the place?” Blake asks.
“Yeah, she just said we should find you first.”
I clear my throat. “I didn’t want you wondering who the car parked out front belonged to.”
“No going in the east wing,” Blake says, aiming the comment at me.
I sense the weight of his gaze on me, but I can’t meet his eye.
The guilt and awkwardness churning my stomach washes me with heat.
My palms prickle with sweat, and I feel uncomfortable in my own clothes.
Does Blake care that Tobias is here? Why would he?
He doesn’t seem to mind, and that only confirms my assessment that he just thinks of me as his ex-best friend’s little girl and nothing more.
“Yeah, I know. I already warned him.”
“Then the rest of the place is yours to do with as you wish. There are some great hiking trails.” He aims that last comment at Tobias.
Tobias shrugs. “Oh, I’m not really into hiking.”
No, he prefers to stay in bed. There, he can do his two favorite things—play video games and have sex.
I realize he’s going to expect me to have sex with him, and experience that same swirl of uneasiness.
I don’t want that, but then I’ll push away the one person who actually wants to be with me.
Maybe he’ll be happy to take things slow?
He’s come all this way, after all. Surely he wouldn’t do that just for a booty call?
Before we can get onto the subject of what he does like to do, I take a step back. “Well, we’ll leave you to it.”
“Sure,” Blake says. “Enjoy your stay.”
He goes back to his work, and I lead Tobias to my room. The entire time, I’m primed for the appearance of Levi, and the drama that’s going to cause.
“He’s not exactly what I expected,” Tobias says.
My face burns hotter. “What do you mean?”
“When you said he was your dad’s best friend, and he was in his forties, I was thinking more some balding guy with a gut.”
I don’t know what he expects me to say. Sorry my dad’s ex-best friend is hot?
“He calls you Pen,” Tobias adds.
I shrug. “So? He’s called me that since I was a little girl.”
“It’s weird that he has a pet name for you.”
I snort. “It’s hardly a pet name. It’s just a shortened version of my full name. What does it even matter?”
“I just don’t think it’s appropriate, the two of you living here together when he looks like that and he calls you by a pet name. Besides, I’m not sure I liked the way he was looking at you.”
Despite myself, I get a little thrill at his words.
Had Blake really been looking at me in a way that was inappropriate?
I didn’t think so, or at least on the occasions where I thought he might have been, I convinced myself it was just wishful thinking.
Not that I can say such a thing to Tobias, of course.
I roll my eyes. “He’s more than twenty years older than me, and he was my dad’s best friend. He’s not looking at me like anything other than the kid I used to be.”
Tobias raises an eyebrow. “You so sure about that?” His gaze drops down my body then lifts again to rest on my tits. “You definitely don’t look like a kid anymore.”
Self-conscious, I fold my arms over my chest. “You’re being paranoid. He knows about you, and there’s nothing going on.”
“Okay, fine. Whatever you say.”
He sounds begrudging, but I’m not sure what he expects me to do or say. Does he think I’m just going to announce I’ll willingly make myself homeless in order to soothe his fragile male ego? Fuck that.
I’m pleased to see him—pleased that I have someone in the world who has made the effort to come and visit—but a part of me also wishes he hadn’t come.
He’s interrupted my easy routine of drawing and helping Blake and long walks and napping.
But I’m excited to show him around the place, though it’s not like I can really take any credit for how beautiful it is here.
We reach my room. The door isn’t locked. I’ve barely bothered to lock it recently, unless it’s nighttime and I’m feeling spooked for whatever reason. It feels strange to lock it during the day, like I believe Blake or Levi might steal from me when my back is turned... well, maybe Levi would.
I lead Tobias inside.
He steps in slowly, looking around. “Wow, Aspen, you really landed on your feet here. This room is huge.”
“I know. I got lucky.”
Yeah, real lucky. Missing—most likely dead—sister. Mother who died by suicide. Father who died from cancer. Lucky old me.
He goes to the window and peers across the landscape. “How far does the property boundary extend?”
I stand beside him and point it out, in much the same way Blake did to me when I’d asked the same question. I find myself swelling with pride, as though this is somehow mine, too, and I’m showing it off. It’s a stupid feeling, since none of this is actually mine, but I can’t help it.
Tobias lets out a low whistle. “Your dad’s buddy must be minted.”
“I have no idea. It really isn’t any of my business… or yours,” I add.
“Well, he must be, to own this place. It’s a bit remote, though.”
“That’s kind of the point. He doesn’t want to be around people.”
“But he brought you here.”
What’s he implying? That Blake wants to be around me?
“Yeah, he did.” I’m about to tell him that we’re not the only people here.
That Blake’s son also lives here, and there’s some mysterious prepper guy who lives out in a cabin in the woods, who I haven’t even seen yet.
But Tobias grabs me around the waist and yanks me into him. He nuzzles the side of my neck.
“I missed you. I’m sorry I was such an asshole the day of your father’s funeral.”
I tense at the mention of it. “Yeah, you were,” I say from between gritted teeth.
“You know I can’t do emotional things, babe. The thought of seeing you cry at the church was too much. I wouldn’t have known what to do. Seeing you hurting hurts me as well.”
“I could have used some support.”
Wasn’t loving someone supposed to mean putting them before yourself?
But did that mean I should be the one understanding that he couldn’t handle emotional scenes?
Am I being too hard on him? Besides, in all the time we’ve been together, he’s never used the L word.
I haven’t either. I always told myself it was because I wanted him to be the first person to say it, but now I’m wondering if it was because I never actually loved him.
He hugs me closer, and I find myself relaxing a fraction.
“But the important thing is that I’m here now,” he says against the top of my head. “I really did miss you.”
Why does it sound like he’s trying to convince himself of that?
“I missed you, too.”
The words are automatic, but I’m not sure I really mean them. Have I missed him? Truthfully, I’ve barely given him a thought since I’ve been here. The one person I’ve genuinely missed has been my dad, and there hasn’t really been space in my heart, or my head, for Tobias.
Guilt sits like a stone in my chest at the thought.
His hands slide from my waist, around to my ass. He yanks me closer, grinding against me as he kisses my neck.
“Tobes!” I protest. “You only just got here. We’ve barely had time to talk.”
“There’ll be time to talk later.”
I pull out of his grip. “I mean it, Tobias. I’m not in the mood right now.”
He rolls his eyes. “So we’ve got to wait until you’re in the mood?”
“Uh, yeah, that’s how this works. How about you try spending some time with me first? Make me feel like you give a shit about me instead of this just feeling like a booty call.”
“I’m not going to come all this way for a booty call. If I just wanted to get laid, I could have gone down to the bar and picked someone up.”
I stare at him. “Seriously?”
He holds up both hands. “Not that I’d do that, of course. I’m just saying that it’s not the reason I’m here.”
I huff air out through my nostrils. “Okay, good. So, let’s go for a walk or something. Spend some quality time together.”
I feel like he’s going to sulk, but he nods.
“Fine. I can handle a walk since I’ve been cooped up in the car for hours.”
I allow my shoulders to drop and try to relax.
It feels like we’re back on safer ground, but I’m still not comfortable with the idea of Tobias having his hands all over me.
Perhaps when we’ve spent some proper time together, I’ll feel differently?
But then why is my head filled with thoughts of Blake and his son?