Chapter 14
Jesse
Whatever Edie had been doing on her phone certainly seemed to improve her mood. She was actually smiling, and a couple times Jesse was pretty sure she caught her humming while she cooked the gravy.
It was the least antagonistic she’d been since Jesse had arrived, and she sent up a silent prayer of thanks to whatever—or whoever—had put her in such a good mood.
A lover, maybe?
The idea of Edie having someone like that in her life should have made her happy. But Jesse’s gut twisted a bit at the thought. It wasn’t dissimilar to how she’d felt when she’d gotten the news that Edie and Ken McDowell had gotten married less than a year after Jesse had left town. Which didn’t make any sense at all. She had even less reason to be jealous now than she had back then.
Turning away from the sink where she’d just finished washing the bowls she and Daddy had used to make the biscuits, she pulled up short when she nearly bumped into Edie who had just turned to put something in the sink.
For the first time since she’d arrived, they were barely a breath apart. Edie’s eyes widened as she tilted her head back slightly, her lips parting in surprise.
Electricity raced through Jesse’s body, sparks of need and longing that heated her skin and sent her heart racing.
“Sorry.” The word came out all rough and scratchy, and Jesse cleared her throat. “Didn’t mean to get in your way.”
“You’re fine.” Was it her imagination, or was Edie’s voice a little rough and scratchy, too?
Her gaze shifted lower, to Edie’s lips. For someone who spent her days outside, they were surprisingly soft-looking. Would they taste the same? Feel the same on her skin? Would Edie still know all those little spots where she loved to be kissed?
But then Edie stepped back, and the moment was lost. Jesse forced herself to turn away, to move, to do anything other than stand there and stare.
When she did, she looked up and found her Daddy watching them, his expression unreadable. Heat rushed to Jesse’s cheeks as she ducked her head and went to work setting the table for breakfast.
How much of an asshole could she be, getting so worked up by someone else right in front of the man whose ring she wore? The diamond felt heavy on her hand, almost as heavy as the rock of guilt sitting in her stomach.
Thankfully, Daddy didn’t comment and breakfast turned out to be a much less awkward affair than dinner had been. Daddy and Edie seemed to have struck some kind of truce, and they spent the meal asking each other the typical ‘get to know you’ type questions. Most of the answers Jesse already knew for both of them, but there were a few that were surprises even for her. Like the fact that Edie had started the animal rescue completely by accident when a friend had called begging her to save her pet pig before her dad turned him into bacon, or that Grant had gotten a full ride to college as a mascot.
“I thought you played football!” she’d asked in sputtering shock at that confession.
Daddy just shrugged. “I told you I got a sports scholarship. You never asked what sport.”
“That seems like a lie of omission,” she grumbled, but she couldn’t be too mad. Not when the whole exchange made Edie snort so hard with laughter she’d nearly shot coffee out her nose.
She didn’t even mind when they started sharing anecdotes about trouble she’d gotten herself into. If it meant they were getting along, she could deal with the embarrassment of Edie talking about that time she’d stolen Farmer Moody’s tractor and Edie had broken half a dozen switches on her bare bottom before sending her over to return the tractor and apologize. Or Daddy sharing his favorite story about the prank she’d played on him when they’d first moved in together and she’d covered his entire home office in post-it notes on his first official day working from home.
“Speaking of my naughty babygirl…” Daddy’s hand came to rest on her neck and Jesse stiffened. “Sometime today, we should probably discuss your disappearing act.”
“We really don’t have to do that, Daddy.”
“You say that every time, little outlaw.” Leaning over, he pressed his lips to her temple. “But you’d be very disappointed if I didn’t give you the chance to atone for your sins with a red-hot bottom.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” As much as she hated to admit it, and as much as she was definitely going to whine about it, he was right. There was nothing like a long, hard spanking over her Daddy’s knee to help get rid of all the yucky guilty feelings in her tummy.
Wait.
Daddy was right.
“Oh my god!” Sitting upright in her chair, Jesse bounced happily, unable to contain her excitement. “Daddy, you’re a genius!”
Daddy and Edie shared a look, and Jesse tried not to get distracted by the butterflies dancing in her tummy. Separately, they were bossy enough. Together, they were likely to revoke her sitting privileges for the rest of her life.
And there was a part of her that wouldn’t mind that one little bit.
Getting off track there, Jess.
“Why am I a genius?” Daddy asked, his brow raising in question.
“It’s like you said,” she explained, waving her hands excitedly. “I need to atone for my sins. With a spanking.”
“Well, if that makes me a genius then I suppose I should submit my Mensa application,” he said dryly. “What exactly is this about, little outlaw?”
“Edie!” Jesse bounced again, her excitement about her obviously genius solution ready to burst out of her. “Edie can’t forgive me for what I did because I haven’t actually atoned for it. I said I was sorry, but you always tell me actions speak louder than words.”
“Hold up.” Across the table, Edie held up both hands. “Are you saying you want me to spank you for breaking up with me?”
“Yes!” Glancing from one bossy person to another, Jesse rolled her eyes when she saw the doubt on their faces. “Okay, not for breaking up with you, exactly. But for the way I left. Leaving without even a note to say goodbye was really crappy of me and you didn’t deserve that.”
Edie shook her head. “I can’t spank you for that.”
“Why not? Daddy’s going to spank me for the exact same thing.”
“It’s not exactly the same thing,” Daddy said. But when Jesse turned to argue with him, his eyes were sort of unfocused, like he wasn’t really looking at her. It was the look he got when he was giving something she said serious consideration.
“Okay, maybe not exactly the same,” she conceded. “I did actually leave you a note and I was planning on coming back. But if anything, that makes what I did to Edie worse than what I did to you.”
“And you think a couple smacks on the ass is going to make up for it?” Edie’s voice had taken on a hard edge that made Jesse flinch, but she wasn’t about to back down now. She knew in her heart of hearts that this was the only way to make things right between them.
“No,” she said, choosing her words carefully. “I know there’s nothing I can do to make up for the hurt I caused you, Edie. But when we were together, whenever I messed up, this is how we fixed it. You spanked me, you forgave me, and I tried to be better. This is the only way I know how to earn your forgiveness.”
Settling back against her chair, Edie crossed her arms. But instead of looking intimidating like she usually did, it looked more like she was shielding herself.
I did that, Jesse thought as a lump formed in her throat. She had taken the strongest, most confident woman she knew and made her afraid of being vulnerable, of getting her heart broken again.
If a spanking would help to heal even a tiny bit of that damage, she would take whatever she was due.
When Edie finally spoke again, it was so quiet Jesse almost missed it. “What if I don’t want to forgive you?”
A hand settled on Jesse’s knee, squeezing gently as she opened her mouth to speak. She turned to her Daddy, who sent her a reassuring smile that only somewhat eased the tight band of panic around her chest. “Give me a few minutes with Edie, baby. We’ll come find you when we’ve made a decision.”
Her temper sparked, fueled by worry and guilt. Crossing her arms, she pressed herself back against the chair and glared at him. “That’s not fair! It’s my punishment, so I should be included in the conversation!”
The look he sent her clearly said she was skating on thin ice, and she nearly wilted under his steel gaze. “Keep arguing with me and you can wait for us in the corner, little girl. Go.”
Being forced to sit out of the conversation was bad, but being forced to stand in the corner while they discussed her fate would be even worse. “Ugh. Fine. But just so you know, I’m doing this under protest.”
“You can protest all you want as long as you do as you’re told.”
Shoving her chair back, Jesse stomped out of the kitchen and flopped down on the couch cushion closest to the entryway in the hopes she could overhear some of their conversation.
And tried to ignore the sinking feeling that her entire future hinged on what they decided.
Grant
“You can’t seriously be considering this.”
Grant studied the woman sitting next to him. Despite the glare she was sending his way, she looked so defensive, all hunched in on herself with her arms folded across her chest like she was trying to protect herself. As much as he wanted his babygirl to find her closure, he was coming to realize he wanted the same thing for Edie. There was something about her, that odd mixture of strength she wore like a shield and vulnerability she tried so damn hard to hide, that pulled at him.
“I am,” he assured her, deliberately keeping his voice as calm and soothing as possible. She reminded him a bit of a cornered animal who would spook at the first loud noise. “I think it would be good for both of you.”
“Good for her, you mean.”
Inhaling deeply, he forced back a wave of temper. It wasn’t fair to get mad at her for not believing him when he was a virtual stranger. “One thing you should know about me, Edie, is I always strive to say exactly what I mean. So when I say it would be good for both of you, then that is what I mean.”
Her shoulders rose, closing her off from him even more. That was fine. He knew how to be patient. A man didn’t reach his levels of success by rushing negotiations.
“How is it good for me?” she asked at length, her gaze glued to the table in front of her.
“Can you honestly tell me you enjoy clinging to all that hurt and anger?”
More hunching. More waiting. And waiting. Until finally she sighed, so soft and defeated it broke his heart. “No.”
“Then why do you think you’re being so stubborn about it?”
The look she sent his way probably would have had most people shaking in their boots. But he simply raised a brow.
And waited.
“Jesus, Grant.” Jumping up from the chair, she began pacing the length of the kitchen. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
Her pain was so powerful, so palpable, he could actually feel it radiating from her. And he wanted nothing more than to go to her, wrap her in his arms, and tell her it would all be okay.
Since he had a feeling that would only serve to piss off both of the women he was trying to help, he refrained. “Do you think maybe it’s been a part of you for so long you don’t know how to let go of it?” he asked softly.
He pretended not to notice her swiping at the tears trickling down her cheeks. “I don’t know.”
Fuck it. He couldn’t just sit there and not offer some form of comfort. Rising from his chair, he blocked her path, forcing her to stop. When she did, her head jerked up and her eyes narrowed. “Move.”
“I’m not going to do that.” Although he kept his voice gentle, he put a bit of steel behind the words. “I need you to listen to me. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?”
“I’m not your fucking sweetheart.”
“And I’m not your Daddy, but you’re about ten seconds away from going over my knee if you don’t drop the attitude and listen to what I have to say.”
For a moment, he thought she might just haul off and punch him. She certainly looked like she wanted to, and he honestly couldn’t blame her. The threat was out of line, and he wasn’t even sure he’d meant it. Thankfully, he didn’t have to find out. After several long, strained seconds of silence she slowly nodded her head.
“Good girl,” he praised in that same firm-but-gentle tone, and he couldn’t help but notice the pink that colored her cheeks in response. “It can be really hard to let go of our hurt and our anger, especially when someone deserves it. And Jesse may be my babygirl, but I can admit she’s earned your anger.”
Edie nodded again, just a slight movement of her head, but it was enough for him to continue. “But at some point, that hurt and that anger stops being a weapon against the person we’re mad at and starts being something that only hurts us.”
“I don’t need the after school special lecture, Grant.” A muscle jumped in her jaw, a physical manifestation of the temper she was so obviously trying to keep in check. “I’m just not ready for this. Not only because I’m not sure if I’m ready to forgive her, but also because I’m not sure I can trust myself to punish her for it, not right now. And on the practical side of things, it’s been years since I actually spanked anyone. I’m not sure my first foray back into topping should be something so… big.”
“I appreciate your honesty.” And he did. As eager as he was for Jesse to be able to put this all behind her, he didn’t want her to get hurt in the process.
“I’m sorry.” To his surprise, she looked like she genuinely meant it. “I know it’s not what you wanted to hear.”
“It’s not, but I understand.”
She looked so miserable that his arms physically ached to hold her. There had to be something he could do, some way he could make things right between Edie and his babygirl.
An idea lodged itself in his mind. He dismissed it at first, but the longer he stood there with a painfully sad-looking Edie, knowing his Little girl was in the other room feeling the same way, the more the idea took root.
It was probably a horrible idea. The kind of idea that was absolutely guaranteed to blow up in his face. But he couldn’t just let the hurt feelings between them fester, and as Jesse had pointed out, there was one surefire way to at least start the healing process.
“What if we did a practice run of sorts?”
Edie’s eyebrows rose. “A practice run?”
“Yes. I still owe her a punishment for disappearing on me the way she did. What if I let you give the warmup portion of her punishment? It might give you the distance you need from your own emotions while getting used to topping someone again. And maybe, before we leave, you’ll be in a better place to actually give her the punishment she asked you for.”
He could practically see the wheels turning in her mind as she watched him, studied him. “You really want to involve me in your business like that?”
“You’re already pretty involved, little pixie.”
“True.” She nibbled at her bottom lip, and he couldn’t help but notice how soft and full that lip was. “Okay. I think I can do that. But only if you’re absolutely sure it’s okay with you.”
“Then let’s go find my naughty little girl.”