Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
Gordon
When they reached the gates, Jared introduced Gordon to Tiago, the guard on duty.
“Believe me, your Little boy won’t leave the grounds. Blake’s a good kid. From what Derek told me, he just needed some alone time to gather his thoughts.”
Gordon thanked him and then he and Jared sat silently, looking around and waiting.
Gordon discovered that while he had the patience to wait out any reluctant witness sitting on the stand, when it came to his Little boy, his patience was about as long as his thumbnail.
“This isn’t working,” he said as he climbed out of the cart. “If Blake was heading this way, he’d have been here by now. That boy’s already proven he can cover long distances pretty damn quickly. Hell, he walked across at least three states to get to this Ranch.”
“Okay, then what do you suggest?” Jared asked.
Gordon took his time answering, his head on a swivel as he looked in all directions. When his eyes returned to the woods, he nodded. “I’m going after him, in there.”
His friend didn’t question his decision. He simply nodded. “Take the radio. If you don’t find him, call and we’ll think of another plan.”
“Won’t need another plan. He’s in the woods. I can feel it.”
Jared nodded. “Then I guess that’s where you’d better go find your boy. I just hope his little hike has given him enough time to recognize the gift you are offering him.”
“Finding him and helping him realize he’s an integral member of our family will be the true gift. I’m not going to force him to accept me as his Daddy, he doesn’t really know me?—”
“Don’t sell yourself short and trust me. That boy knows more than you realize. You’re the exact person both those Littles need as their Daddy. Between you and Beverly, they will not only truly heal from the hell you’ve all walked through, they will have the family they deserve. You’ve come much further than I’d ever dreamed. I couldn’t be prouder of you.”
Words failed him. Jared had seen him through a lot of tough times and now it was time Gordon stepped up to become the mentor, the guide Blake needed. Praying Blake would accept at least that, he lifted his hand in a wave as he headed for the tree line.
Gordon arrived at the woods after a few minutes’ brisk walk and paused for a moment before he entered. Though he hadn’t expected it, Gordon began to understand why Blake might have sought the solitude of the woods. There was a calmness to the place that would be a balm on anyone’s soul as they were forced to slow down their walk, to look where they were stepping. In doing each of those things, the outside noises and distractions faded away. As he walked, Gordon reflected on how Blake had looked the first time he’d found him in the woods. His face had been dirty except for the tracks his tears had made, yet the boy’s eyes had shone with pure joy at discovering Lori had survived.
His eyes hadn’t contained anything even close to joy after learning the men responsible had been sentenced. Oh, there had been a brief moment when a flare of relief had been seen, but what Gordon now considered had been the expression on Blake’s face when he’d learned the anger he’d harbored for years had been unjust. The look was one he saw in the eyes of another Little when she knew she’d done something wrong. It was the look of guilt.
Had Blake run because he didn’t want to be in a family that Gordon realized had basically been thrust on him without his input, or had he run because he felt guilty for having walked away from that courtroom and his life without waiting for the rest of the story to play out? It might not appear to be different to other people, but Gordon knew the reason mattered to Blake and that meant it mattered to him.
He'd become aware of another’s presence though not visually at first. The sound of someone talking is what drew him closer until he could easily hear what was being said. Gordon didn’t immediately make his presence known. Satisfied that Blake looked unhurt, Gordon stood and simply listened as his Little boy carried on what appeared to be a one-sided conversation. The mention of being hungry made him smile. Weren’t all young men constantly hungry? Though Blake had left his teens behind several years earlier, his thin frame needed a lot of calories to keep up with his physical activities. Especially if he took a lot of long walkabouts.
The mention of not only Derek, but Beverly’s response when they got hold of the Little let Gordon know Blake understood he wasn’t going to get away with going AWOL. But hearing his own name mentioned… and it being mentioned by a title and not his given name, eased the worry Blake didn’t want him in his life.
But it was the mention of Lori and sharing their Mommy and Daddy as siblings do, that sealed the deal. When Blake mentioned how he’d blown his opportunity to have a real family, Gordon took action.
Stepping out from the tree’s shadow, he said, “Not could have , Blake, you do have a real family.”
He wasn’t surprised to see Blake startle. After all, he’d sought these woods to be alone. But what Gordon hadn’t expected was for the Little to start crying. No, not crying. Blake was sobbing so hard he was shaking like the leaves in the trees. It took Gordon a dozen steps to reach him, a second to scoop him up in his arms, and another to take his place on the boulder and settle Blake in his lap. He didn’t speak, just wrapped his arms around his precious boy and held him, rocking him gently as Blake’s sobs purged the emotional baggage he’d carried all the way from Texas to Montana years earlier and only unpacked an hour or so ago when learning the truth of how justice had won after all.
The front of Gordon’s shirt was soaked through by the time the choking sobs that wracked Blake’s body began to ease. Tears still fell, but Blake’s body stopped quaking as he pressed his face into Gordon’s neck. As the intensity lessened, Gordon began softly assuring Blake he was all right, that everything was going to be okay. When hiccups and soft snuffles took the place of sobs, Gordon began to stroke Blake’s back as he continued to rock him gently.
“That’s my good boy, let it all out. Daddy’s got you.” He was a bit disappointed when he felt Blake’s body stiffen but when it relaxed within a few moments and Blake’s hand took a new hold of Gordon’s shirt, the disappointment evaporated.
“You will never ever have to worry about being alone again. You have Lori, your Mommy, and me to make sure you know how very much you are loved.”
“Ho-how can you… they… love me? I was bad, I-I ran away again,” Blake said against Gordon’s shirt.
Remembering Lori’s declaration she was “bad,” Gordon shook his head though Blake didn’t see it. “You aren’t bad, buddy. You ran because you were confused and scared, and if I’m guessing correctly, maybe a little angry?”
Blake didn’t answer except to squirm a bit and Gordon smiled. Squirming was a definite sign he was on the right path.
“It’s perfectly okay to be a little confused. You learned a lot of things today in a short amount of time. That’s enough to take all sorts of emotions and mix them up until you don’t know which way is up. It’s normal to get angry as well. If you didn’t care about the people who love you, you wouldn’t have all these big emotions. But that’s what families are for. We help each other unravel the big balls of confusion and work on clearing them up. I promise once you let us help you, you’re going to feel a whole lot better. That’s another thing your family is for. To hold, hug, and kiss you when you’re feeling scared or lonely or just because you look like you need a hug. There is nothing you can do that will make your family stop loving you.”
He let that sink in, knowing it was a lot for the Little to assimilate. Gordon grinned when he saw a squirrel sitting on a limb across from them. He’d swear the creature was listening just as intently as the Little he was holding.
“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just run. I promised myself I’d never run away without letting Lori know first, then… then I did anyway.”
“But you really didn’t,” Gordon corrected, loosening his hold when Blake attempted to sit back, but making sure the Little remained right where he belonged and that was on his Daddy’s lap.
“What do you mean? I left everyone in the family room and snuck out of the building and ran here.”
Gordon used the opportunity to pull his handkerchief free. When Blake attempted to take it, Gordon shook his head. “Daddy will do it.” He ignored Blake’s hesitant look and wiped the boy’s face as he started talking. “First of all, you didn’t run. I never once saw you doing more than walking in the film Chief Lawson showed me.”
Blake’s huff was muffled by the cloth Gordon pressed to his nose, but it was clear he didn’t think it mattered whether he’d walked or run. He was right, but Gordon would get to that in a moment. First, he said, “Blow.” When Blake only hesitated for an instant, Gordon knew that Beverly had been the type of Mommy who didn’t put up with the fuss Littles often made about such simple tasks as blowing their nose after a good cry.
“Good boy,” Gordon praised when the Little could breathe far more easily. “The point I’m making is that it doesn’t matter if you ran or walked, the operative word here is away. ”
“Dad… um, Gord… Mr. Sheffield?—”
The time to nip that in the bud was right now. “It’s Daddy to you, young man. I’ll accept Sir when we are having a long discussion which requires a simple yes or no answer as long as that is followed by Sir. For everything else, I’d be most honored if you’ll call me Daddy, like your little sister does.”
“You-you don’t think she’ll mind? I mean, you were her Daddy first.”
Gordon could hear the hope in the Little’s question. “Are you going to mind hearing her call your Mommy, ‘Mommy’?”
“Well, since she was actually Lori’s Mommy first?—”
“Nope, that’s another assumption you got wrong. When Beverly was Barbara and the three of us were together, Lori addressed us as Uncle G and Auntie B. She was both of our Little girl, but we hadn’t reached the point where we became her Mommy and Daddy.”
Blake’s mouth opened and closed a few times, but he didn’t say anything. But when his face flushed, Gordon had a pretty good idea of what Blake wanted to know. Unfortunately for the Little, Gordon wasn’t going to offer information before it was requested. As he waited, looking at the Little on his lap, he saw the battle raging inside Blake. Not volunteering information didn’t mean he was above dropping a few breadcrumbs for the Little to follow.
“If you have a question, all you have to do is ask,” he offered.
Blake surprised him by giving a quick smile. “Mommy always says that.”
“Your Mommy is a smart woman.” Gordon grinned as well. “Does she ever say it’s time to stop beating around the bush and spit it out?”
This time Blake didn’t smile, not exactly. Instead, he sort of grimaced and a new flash of red coated his cheeks. When he squirmed, Gordon chuckled. “I’m betting your brain just twisted that up a bit, didn’t it?”
“How do you know?” Blake’s eyes widened.
“Because I’ve used a similar phrase myself.”
“You told Lori to stop beating her… but she doesn’t have a… I mean I don’t think she does but maybe…”
Laughing, Gordon used one hand to hold it up to stop that train of thought from going further along the wrong track. “No, Lori does not have a penis to beat and I wasn’t speaking about her.”
“Oh.” If Blake turned any redder, he would resemble the feathers of the cardinal that landed on a different tree branch to join in the discussion. “You mean you’ve had other Little boys.”
“No, buddy, you are my first Little boy. But all submissives aren’t women, there are many men as well. It is those men I was talking about. I’m a Dominant and have scened with both men and women before I even knew your Mommy and sister.”
The revelation seemed to cure some of Blake’s embarrassment, well, until Gordon continued. “Tell me, is Beverly the only person you’ve submitted to?”
Blake managed to meet his eyes for a moment before he shook his head and looked away.
Not about to allow that, Gordon gripped the Little’s chin and turned his head back until their eyes met again. “There is absolutely not a single thing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. We aren’t sitting in the woods in some vanilla public park. We are sitting smack dab in the middle of a huge Ranch where every single person on it has some love of kink whether they are Dominants, submissives, or even both. Big or Little, we all share in dynamics that require honesty, openness, and clear communication which includes consent. That’s what safe words are for. I don’t yet know yours, but I will before anything sexual happens and that’s a promise you can take to the bank.”
The wide-eyed Little breathed a sigh of relief. “No, Beverly is the only Mommy I’ve ever had, but she’s not the only person I’ve submitted to. I was a member of a club in Texas. Not in my town as it wasn’t big enough to warrant one, though I discovered I wasn’t the only kinky person who lived there.”
“Were the partners you gifted your submission to all Dommes?” Gordon asked.
Blake looked down for a moment, then met Gordon’s glance again. “No, Sir. Most of them were Dominants. I-I sort of switched around, but not in the way Switches do. I never wanted to dominate someone. I-I don’t think I could, but I did submit to both men and women.”
“I see,” Gordon said. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I know it’s hard to be open about such things, but again, look at where you chose to live.”
For the first time, an easy grin lit Blake’s face. “I know. I had no clue such places really existed. When I heard about how Master Derek often helped Littles, I-I came to the Ranch and… and never left.”
“Is that why you never tried to sneak past the guard at the gate? You didn’t ever leave the Ranch?”
“No, Sir, I leave it all the time.” At what must have been his shocked expression, Blake giggled. “I leave with Mommy. We don’t live on the Ranch. Her house is outside Porter’s Corner. Mommy works here and I go to school.” He paused and when Gordon nodded his understanding, Blake added, “I didn’t try to leave because I wanted off the Ranch. I didn’t leave because I was sorta hoping that…”
“That?” Gordon prompted.
“That I’d be missed,” Blake said then huffed. “Saying that out loud makes me sound like a pathetic dork.”
“No, saying it out loud lets me know how much you love the people on this Ranch. How much you want to be part of it. I’m hoping that includes the family that is waiting for us at the lodge… and that you hope part of that family includes me, the man who wants to be your Daddy.”
“It does,” Blake said. “When I was sitting here before, I was hoping the one to find me would be you, and then you stepped out of the woods and told me I did have a family.”
“Which is the truth,” Gordon reaffirmed. At the Little’s huge smile, he chuckled. “By that grin, I’m guessing all those ickies have gone away?”
“Wow, how do you know about ickies?”
“I have a Little girl,” Gordon reminded him. “And now I also have a Little boy. I’m pretty sure there will be lots of ickies between the two of you. Now, I can hear your tummy talking and mine is about to answer, so what do you say about heading back and getting some lunch?”
Blake nodded. “I think I could eat a bear.”
Gordon chuckled and set him off his lap. Before he had a chance to stand, Blake looked up at him.
“Thank you for coming for me.”
“You’re welcome and you’ll learn I will always come for you. Just ask your sister if you doubt me.”
“I don’t,” Blake said as Gordon stood. “Oh and thank you for not… well, you know.”
“I’m afraid I’m no more of a mind reader than your Mommy. I’m going to need a bit more clarification than ‘you know’.”
The Little’s face turned red and the toe of his sneaker dug into the dirt. “Um, for not, um… spanking me or somethin’.”
“I’m afraid I can’t accept your thanks,” Gordon said.
Blake’s head lifted. “Why not? I thought Daddies were supposed to forgive Littles like Mommies do.”
“Oh, there will definitely be forgiveness,” Gordon assured him. “There will also be cuddles. But those will come after I pull down your jeans and briefs and paddle your bare bottom for scaring not only your family, but everyone on the Ranch. Perhaps sitting on a red bottom will help remind you that running won’t solve a problem, but sticking around and asking for help does.”
Bracing himself to hear how he wasn’t Blake’s Daddy, he didn’t have consent to spank him, he was a big meanie, etc. etc. etc., Gordon was pleasantly surprised when all Blake did was ask, “Can you wait to spank me until after lunch?”
“I suppose sleeping on your tummy to take your after-lunch nap will serve the purpose just as nicely.”
“Thank you, Daddy. I’m really hungry.”
“You’re welcome, buddy.” Gordon took Blake’s hand and they did indeed walk out of the woods together. “Tell me, are the rumors I’ve heard about this mac and cheese true?”
“Oh, yes, Daddy. Chef Connor’s mac ’n’ cheese is like… like that famous painting of the woman, the one with the smile? I can’t think of her name.”
“ The Mona Lisa ?”
“Yeah! That’s her.”
Confused, Gordon looked down at the Little. “I’m afraid you lost me. How is a painting like mac and cheese?”
“Because they both have you ‘moan’. Get it, Daddy? Why do you think Lisa is moaning? Because she’s tasted the best mac ’n’ cheese in the whole wide world!”
Gordon never thought he’d hear a Little telling what was a pretty bad “Dad” joke, but he laughed hard, loving it when Blake’s giggles joined his. It was exactly what the two needed as they walked toward a new life together.