Chapter Two
Brax
Five o’clock couldn’t come fast enough. Most days, I worked until six or later, trying to get my work done.
Job security and personal responsibility, work ethic—all of those things.
I’d ordered dinner to be delivered to the office.
Stayed until the sun set. Everything short of actually sleeping in the office.
I took pride in working hard. My parents raised me that way. Put in the hours and the dedication, and good things would come to you.
What they never talked about was how to live. Really live. Relax. Take care of myself.
Tonight, I’d made plans in an effort to do just that. My friends said I needed to come out with them more. Talk. Laugh. Spend time out of this office and out of this suit.
They were right.
I gathered my things and turned off my laptop before shoving it all into my backpack and throwing it on my shoulder.
When I left, I took a deep breath as guilt seeped in.
I’d left at exactly five o’clock. Started getting ready to leave five minutes before.
What if the boss needed something. What if I’d gotten a crucial email? A phone call?
Shaking my head, I started my walk home. What kind of emergency, Brax? A checking account emergency? Goodness. I was a personal accountant, not a paramedic or a doctor.
I’d moved into an apartment ten blocks away from my new office on purpose.
To walk home. It cleared my head before getting down to business and did so again on the way home.
I enjoyed the sights and sounds of the city.
The not-so-fresh air carrying the smells of the shops and restaurants on my way to my place.
And now that I’d found Cliff, I was relieved to find out I didn’t have to give that up.
His home, our home, was only a bit farther from the office.
Cliff was the best partner. I didn’t want to bring the stress of my job to him. I didn’t want it either.
At home, I showered and dressed for a night out. My friends had picked out a new bistro that opened up only days ago. Cliff kissed me and told me to have fun. He was good like that.
There wasn’t a jealous bone in his body, which was, by far, one of the sexiest things about him. He knew who he was. Confident. Secure. Trusting.
“He’s here!” Chris stood and waved me over. It wasn’t a big place so, of course, every eye turned to look at me. Great.
I walked over and took a seat. They’d already ordered starters. Huge mozzarella sticks. Pita and hummus. Stuffed mushrooms. Bacon-wrapped dates. Enough that I was sure I wouldn’t be very hungry for a main course if I ate more than a few bites.
“Want a drink?” another friend asked.
“White wine, please,” I answered. It would be my only glass of the night, and I would make it last until I left.
I was a lightweight in the drinking department by all standards.
In fact, one sip of this and my cheeks would heat and my stomach would burn.
Honestly, I didn’t know why I ordered it at all. To fit in? Maybe.
The apps disappeared, and we ordered plates of food. I’d gone for the sausage, spinach, and cream pasta.
Everyone talked about their jobs and their extracurricular activities. All of us were members of Chained and had different preferences. That was why I loved my friends. They didn’t judge, and I didn’t either.
Seeing some of the others with their daddies made me wish I’d invited Cliff, but I also wanted some time with just my friends.
Thomas and Bailey arrived a bit later than the others. They were together now, not just at the club. Bailey was Thomas’s little, and the way they looked at each other, well, they were completely in love.
I couldn’t help but be filled with want.
Seeing Bailey, I thought maybe it would be nice to have another little to share life with.
Someone who I had adult things in common with but also someone who understood me.
A friend who could share my life with Cliff.
I didn’t think I’d be jealous of another little.
As the waitress gathered up all the plates and offered to-go boxes to those who hadn’t finished, I realized how selfish I was.
I had a partner, but I wanted not just one, I wanted two?
Some people would give their lives for the right person, the right love, but here I was wishing for more than that. More than I deserved.
How silly of me.
In my wave of guilt, I ordered a banana-pudding cheesecake and devoured the whole thing, not thinking about the sugar high I would have later, not to mention the tummy ache.
I may have also ordered one to go.
I said goodbye, and they made me promise not to be a stranger. I had to keep that promise for my own sanity as well as keeping my word. My friends deserved more than a one-way relationship.
On the walk home, I wrestled with self-pity. I had a daddy. A good one. One that made me feel safe and secure and who also respected both of my sides and my life.
Yet, when I closed my eyes that night, the last thing I thought of were the three of us, the third being completely imaginary, having fun and playing together.
A boy could dream.