Chapter Eleven
Brax
There were two Edwins. No. No, just one. Shit. I’d drunk more than I’d intended, trying to drown out my nervousness. Why was there so much damned singing? Oh, yeah, shit, we were at a karaoke bar. My temples began to throb with the beat of the overplayed eighties song.
This was no ordinary littles’ gathering. This night could change the course of my life in a good way or in a heartbreaking way.
And the lights were getting blurry. Perfect.
“How about I take you to your daddy? Cliff?”
Edwin had my hand in his, and I would’ve agreed to just about anything as long as he was touching me.
His fingers were so soft, and his kind smile made me warm, the same way Cliff’s did.
He turned me on the same way as well. We’d sung several songs together tonight, including love ballads.
Some of our friends joked with us about how we gazed into each other’s eyes, but I paid them no attention.
Some of the lyrics struck right in the center of my heart.
What better way to disguise and at the same time reveal your feelings than to sing the other person a song? I couldn’t think of one.
The car horns and sounds of the streets and busy people were usually calming for me, good background noise, but in my inebriated state, the blares were too loud.
The laughter too rowdy. The red, amber, and green lights moved fast but at the same time not fast enough.
If I didn’t have Edwin’s hand and body to guide me, I’d stumble over the curb or cross the street at the wrong time.
A car horn blared as we stepped onto the curb.
We had the right of way, I was sure, but some people were assholes.
“Where are we going?” I asked…tried to ask. Yeah, I was sure those words came out.
“I think it’s time you stopped drinking. Your words are running together.”
“Are not they.” My jaw felt more relaxed than normal and someone had done something to my tongue. It felt numb and bigger than normal. Edwin could do something with my tongue, and I wouldn’t protest. Not one peep.
He let out a giggle and wrapped his arm around my waist. Oh, so much better than just hand-holding.
“Just a few more steps, and we’ll be at the bar.
” Once we took those steps, which took forever, we entered the dark place.
It smelled like oak and cigars and bourbon.
Nothing like the karaoke place we’d just come from.
The patrons spoke in one blurred voice. Chuckles rang out from all around me, and I braced one hand on the bar to keep from falling as Edwin looked around, craning his neck.
“Do you see my Cliff?” I spoke each word carefully so I didn’t sound like a doofus again. Not in front of Edwin.
“I see them. Come on.”
He took my hand again, but as we approached the group of daddies, sitting in leather chairs, all with their legs crossed in that daddy way, Edwin’s posture and grip stiffened in mine.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
Edwin’s eyes changed. He stared at the group, but his attention was behind him. Like his thoughts were in space instead of here with me. “I’m okay.” He snapped back to attention.
“Brax?” Cliff stood and came over to stand with us.
“Are you okay?” He probably already knew I wasn’t okay.
My cheeks notoriously turned beet red when I’d had too many, which was, not many at all.
Cliff had called me a lightweight. Edwin cleared his throat and squared his shoulders.
He was so cute when he did that. Getting all serious.
I tried to tell him, but it came out as a hiccup instead.
“He has had a few too many. He can walk and kind of talk, but it was time to call it. I thought he’d be safer with you. ”
Cliff’s gaze roamed Edwin’s body the way mine probably had when I met him. “Is that right?” Edwin nodded. “Well, thank you for bringing him to me safely. That was very kind of you.”
“I-I didn’t want anything to happen to him.”
Cliff reached out and ruffled Edwin’s hair. He did the same thing to me when I was a good boy. “You did well. Brax could use a friend like you.”
Edwin’s cheeks pinked, and he smiled at Cliff like he’d just given him all the cool building blocks in the world. “I want Edwin to be my little friend. I like him a lot.”
That expression of emotions caught the attention of some of the other daddies, but they quickly went back to their conversations.
“I can see that. Well, I think I’d better get you home. Edwin? Would you like us to walk you back so you can return to the others?”
Edwin looked at me. So many unspoken things passed between us. If my brain wasn’t so fuzzy, I might’ve expressed them.
And he only said, “No. Thank you. I can get back by myself. I only had two beers.”
“Good. Thank you again.” Cliff looked at me and then Edwin. He saw the connection. I knew he did. We had things to talk about.
“Let’s go home, Brax. Get you into bed.”
I nodded as we walked away. Leaving Edwin there. Was he trembling? This was hard. I wanted and loved my daddy with all my heart, but there was a new piece of my heart that belonged to Edwin.
And we were leaving him behind.