Chapter 21 #2
“Tell me something else,” Declan said, still close enough that the heat off his skin felt like a fire brand against my skin. “Not about missions. About you.”
“It’s a short list,” I said.
“Then start small,” Aidan murmured. “Favorite season.”
I huffed. “Winter. Easier to track. People make mistakes when they’re cold.”
Declan grinned. “Romantic.”
“I didn’t say I was fun,” I said, but the corner of my mouth traitorously lifted.
Aidan’s eyes warmed. “You like quiet places. That’s why you sit near the edges of camp, why you kept to the back when we were moving through the tunnels.”
“You profiling me?”
“Observing,” he corrected. “It’s how I keep people alive.”
Declan nudged my boot with his. “He means you.”
“I knew that,” I shot back, but I didn’t move my foot.
Edward was a statue at the door. Logan pretended not to notice any of us and failed.
Declan tipped his chin at the faint scar on my forearm. “That one?”
I glanced down. “Rope burn. First extraction I led. We were too loud, and I paid for it.”
“Did you get them out?” Aidan asked.
“Yeah.” I rolled my sleeve back down. “Didn’t feel like a win though.”
“Some aren’t,” he said, like he knew the shape of that experience.
Declan leaned back on his hands. “Alright, my turn. I can make stew out of almost anything we find that isn’t actively trying to kill us. You’ll hate it the first time and ask for seconds the third time.”
I snorted. “Confidence.”
“Practice,” he said unabashedly.
Aidan’s mouth tugged. “And I can read a storm from the way the clouds billow in the sky.”
“Cute party tricks,” I said. “I can field-strip a rifle blindfolded.”
Declan’s brows went up. “Show-off.”
“Jealous?”
“Absolutely,” he said, shameless and sweet.
The bond hummed low and steady, not the lightning strike it had been when we first locked eyes, but a pulse I could almost pretend was my own heartbeat.
Aidan reached for my hand, slowly enough for me to know he was coming, and turned my palm up.
His thumb drifted once across the callus on my trigger finger, a thoughtful, grounding pass.
“Your hands shake after fights,” he said quietly. “You hide it well.”
“I don’t shake,” I lied.
“You do,” Declan said, not unkind. “You just keep moving so no one sees.”
A flush crept up my throat I couldn’t blame on the fire. “And you two think you’re going to… what? Watch over me until I stop?”
“Until you don’t have to pretend,” Aidan said.
“And if I never stop?” I asked, voice thinner than I would have liked.
“Then we pretend with you,” Declan said simply.
Silence folded around us again. I let my hand stay where Aidan held it. I let Declan’s knee press to mine and didn’t shift away. I made little choices. Safe ones. They didn’t pounce on any of them, which helped.
“No pet names,” I said, because I needed a line somewhere.
Aidan’s mouth twitched. “No for now, or no… forever?”
“Try me in the spring,” I said.
“Spring it is,” he said.
Declan’s gaze softened. “You’re allowed to want this, you know.”
“What if I want it and still decide to walk?” I asked.
“Then we let you walk,” he said. “Wanting doesn’t trap you. We’re not going to make you the bad guy for choosing yourself.”
The honesty hit harder than I expected. I blew out a breath. “You two are terrible for my discipline.”
“Funny,” Aidan said. “I was thinking you’re very good for ours.”
I laughed. It startled Jamie, who was still looking for more supplies not far away, into glancing over with a grin he tried and failed to smother. Edward didn’t move, but the corner of his mouth gave him away. Logan looked down at his map like it had suddenly become very interesting.
Declan leaned in, slow. “Can I—?”
I nodded before I could talk myself out of it. He didn’t kiss my mouth. He pressed a warm kiss to my temple, nothing greedy about it. My eyes fell shut on reflex, traitorous and grateful. Aidan’s fingers tightened around mine and then eased, not asking for more.
“You two are… annoyingly decent,” I muttered when I had breath again.
“That’s the first time anyone’s accused me of that,” Declan said, amused.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “It won’t become a habit.”
Aidan’s thumb traced once over my pulse, slowly. “If you feel crowded, say it. If you want space, take it. If you want this and you hate that you want it—” his smile went crooked “—tell us anyway.”
I looked from one to the other, taking in their patience, their ridiculous warmth, the way they didn’t flinch from the mess of me, and let my fierce resolve soften a little bit.
My shoulders dropped. My jaw unlocked. I tipped until my shoulder found Aidan’s again, until I could feel the rumble of Declan’s laugh against my knee.
“Fine,” I said. “A moment.”
“Two,” Declan bargained.
“Don’t push it.”
“Copy that,” he said, grinning.
“Tell me one more thing,” I said, softer. “Both of you.”
Aidan thought. “When this is done—when we’re out of the dark—I want you to take you to the sea where I grew up. Western coast. Wind that’ll knock the hurt straight out of you for an hour at a time. I think you’d like the way the horizon doesn’t end.”
Declan’s voice dropped. “I want you to taste my stew, made with real herbs. Made over a real fire. In a safe place.”
I stared at the flames because looking at them felt like stepping off a ledge. “Those are… not terrible plans.”
“We’re full of good ideas,” Declan crooned.
“And some terrible ones,” Aidan added.
“You don’t say,” I deadpanned.
The quiet between us stretched, comfortable now.
My hand stayed in Aidan’s. Declan’s knee bumped mine once more, a silent check-in I didn’t realize I appreciated.
I didn’t promise them anything. I didn’t have to.
And when I finally let my head tip, just a fraction, against Aidan’s shoulder, and let Declan’s fingers lace briefly with mine, we all pretended it was nothing.
I could have kept pretending. I could have let the moment pass, filed it away with all the other things I didn’t let myself want.
Instead, I listened to the warmth sliding through my chest, to the way my pulse steadied with them close.
“Aidan,” I said, because saying his name made it real.
His thumb stilled on my wrist. “Yeah?”
“Don’t move.”
He didn’t. He went perfectly still, eyes full of understanding, mouth soft with patience.
I leaned in, slow enough to stop if my nerves panicked, and pressed my mouth to his.
He tasted like smoke and salt and the last bite of ration biscuit, and when I pulled away, he didn’t chase me.
He exhaled, eyes closing for the briefest second, and smiled like something long knotted had finally loosened.
“Okay,” he murmured, voice rough. “That’s… good.”
My heart kicked. I turned to Declan before I could think myself out of it. He didn’t crowd me. He just sat there, watching me like I was the only thing in the room that mattered.
“Come here,” I said, and it came out softer than I meant it to.
He did, only enough to meet me halfway, and I kissed him, too.
This one was more heated though, and a grin caught against my mouth because he couldn’t help himself.
His hand came up to the line of my jaw and stopped there, asking without words.
I answered by pressing closer, then broke the kiss before the ground shifted too far under my feet.
“Don’t read into it,” I said, breath unsteady.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Declan said, eyes bright enough to make a liar of him.
Aidan laughed under his breath, low and delighted. “I would never.”
From across the room, Jamie made an obnoxious, smothered catcall.
“Maybe you could have met the nice me if you hadn’t been such an animal,” I retorted. His sharp intake of breath was very satisfying.
Edward didn’t even turn his head. Logan lifted the map a fraction higher like a curtain and found the ceiling intensely compelling.
Aidan’s shoulder brushed up against mine. “What do you need right now?” he asked, like it was a tactical question with a clear answer.
“Quiet,” I said. “And… keep doing exactly what you’re doing.”
“Copy that,” Declan said, smug and gentle at once.
We let the quiet settle. My fingers found Aidan’s again, and this time I didn’t pretend it was an accident. Declan let his knee rest against mine like he’d always meant it to be there. The fire snapped beside us. Jamie muttered something about the bedding. Edward shifted his weight at the door.
The world was still a mess, the Elder Lycan still out there, traps stacked in our path like dominoes waiting for a push, but for a handful of heartbeats, I let myself stop running.
Aidan spoke first, voice pitched for me alone. “If this gets too much—”
“I’ll say,” I cut in.
“Good.” His thumb resumed its slow path over my pulse. “Then we’re fine.”
Declan leaned close enough that his breath warmed my cheek. “You know I’m going to be insufferable about that kiss later.”
“Later I might let you be,” I said before I could snatch it back.
He blinked, grin flashing helpless and boyish. “Dangerous words, Moore.”
“I’ve been dangerous my whole life,” I said, and that, at least, felt like solid ground.
Footsteps scuffed near the door; Edward’s voice carried, low and even. “Time to rotate the Watch. Logan, you’re up. Jamie after.”
“On it,” Logan said, standing. His eyes cut to me, to the men bracketing me, and something that looked deceptively like approval flickered there, but it was gone before I could really figure out what it was.
I met Aidan’s eyes, and he smirked in my direction, heat smoldering in his gaze. My core clenched at the sight of it and I took a deep breath and just reacted.
I caught his shirt in my fist and pulled him toward me.
The kiss wasn’t careful this time; it was slow and insistent, his mouth firm against mine, the scrape of stubble a spark I felt down my spine.
His hand slid to the back of my neck, a warm bracket that said I’m here, and I answered by tilting closer, taking what I wanted until breath got in the way.