Chapter Twenty-Three
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
A melia pushed her arms through the sleeves of her coat. The weather this summer had been relentlessly awful; it might as well have been winter given the greyness of the clouds and the near constant rain.
‘Are you sure it is wise for you to go out in your condition?’ asked Sienna from the bottom of the stairs.
‘Sienna,’ Amelia hissed, glancing around for prying ears. ‘Be careful.’
Sienna snorted. ‘You’re a one to talk.’ But at least she spoke quieter. So far, Amelia had managed to hide her pregnancy from everyone except her maid and her sister, but it probably wouldn’t go unnoticed for much longer. It was a problem for another day. At the moment, Amelia was dealing with getting through each hour. ‘I will be fine. I am not unwell, despite how awful the mornings are.’
‘Why not take a maid with you?’
‘I’d rather walk alone.’
Sienna sighed dramatically but didn’t argue further, and presently Amelia stepped outside. It was too boggy to walk across the fields so she took the roads out of the estate, which were not in an excellent state, either, but were passable enough. The hem of her dress was soon wet and mud stained but it was difficult to care too much in light of everything else going on in her life.
The sound of a horse galloping in her direction had her pressing into one of the hedges lining the route. The large stallion passed her before coming to an abrupt stop as its rider tugged on its reins. She barely had a moment to think before she realised it was Ash flinging himself down from the saddle and striding towards her.
Rain dripped from his top hat, landing on the path below. He was unshaven with deep, dark shadows under his eyes, and his overcoat was rumpled and travel stained. He came to a stop in front of her, his gaze raking over her face and body. For a long moment, they stared at one another, saying nothing. Amelia had rehearsed words, many of them in various permutations, but now that Ash was standing before her, they were all gone.
‘Melia,’ he said softly, reaching up to touch her jaw but stopping a hair’s breadth away as if unsure of his welcome.
‘Ash,’ she murmured, closing the distance and leaning her cheek into his hand. His fingers slid along her jaw, his thumb stroking her cheek.
‘I’ve been all over England looking for you,’ he murmured as he gently tugged her closer.
‘You have?’
‘Yes. I have been to London and to Stanmere’s house party, where I’m not sure I was a welcome guest.’ His lips twitched slightly. ‘Although Stanmere was a gentleman about it.’ There was a story here, but Amelia didn’t want to talk about Stanmere now and so she didn’t ask. The amusement faded from Ash’s eyes. ‘Amelia, you came to my house looking for me and I turned you away and I should never have done that. I thought I was thinking clearly but I was reacting in the moment and I should have stopped to think. You come first for me, Amelia, and I want to spend the rest of my life making sure that you know that. Will you forgive me for not giving you time to talk to me when it was obviously important?’ He paused but before she could respond, he added. ‘I am so sorry, Amelia.’
‘It’s all right. I understand.’ She hadn’t at first. She’d been bewildered by his disappearance and then angry that he had left her once more when she had needed him. Then she’d had time to think. A lot of time. Her brother’s estate at Merrimore was not far from London but it had taken Sienna and her an age to get here because they’d had to break it up into very small stages to prevent Amelia from constantly casting up her accounts all over the interior of the carriage. As they’d slowly made their way through the country, Amelia had thought about all that had passed between her and Ash and she had realised that he would not intentionally hurt her. He had not when he had gone off to war. He’d been a young man who’d been so horrified by what he’d witnessed that he’d been unable to write to her but now she knew that he had tried. That his abandonment had not been malicious or because he did not care. He was a good man, with an excellent heart. If he’d had to leave London with his mother, then he must have had a strong reason to do so. Once she had arrived at Merrimore, her brother’s estate that bordered Ash’s, she had discovered what the problem was and she had loved him all the more for it.
‘You do?’
‘Yes. We only found out this morning that your property had taken substantial damage in the recent floods. Merrimore was affected but not as badly as Easton Hall. Of course you had to leave London in a hurry; you were looking out for your tenants.’
Emotion flickered across Ash’s face, relief mixed with something else. ‘I was but I should still have made a moment for you. Sometimes I rush into things but I want you to know that I am always thinking of you. Will you tell me now what you wanted to see me about?’
Standing in the wet, muddy road was not how Amelia wanted to tell Ash he was going to be a father. That could wait but there was something important she wanted to say and that couldn’t. ‘I love you. I was on my way to Easton Hall to tell you.’ In the end, the decision to do so had been simple. She loved him, had always loved him, in truth, and she wanted him to know. This wasn’t about marriage or their unborn child, although she knew they would have to discuss both of those issues soon. This was about Ash and her love for him, the love she had always carried and always would.
His shoulders sagged, the tension she hadn’t realised he’d been carrying rushing out of him. His lips were warm on hers, contrasting with the rain, which began to fall more heavily around them. ‘I love you, too,’ he said against her mouth. ‘So much. I’ve never stopped. I will spend my whole life proving it to you.’
She reached up and threaded her arms around his neck. ‘You don’t have to. I already know.’